Forever Yours, Shane

by CynCyrWrightings

Shane glanced around the wide open space, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You always loved to be free, just like your horses." "You bought the farm for me, literally." Allen turned to look at Shane... "Shane, is this..." "Yes."

Allen sighed as he walked outside. Taking a sip from the mug in his hands, he wondered how long it would be before he was able to go back to work. He hated sitting at home being idol, it was beginning to drive him stir crazy.

Glancing behind him, he closed the screen door as silently as possible, hoping he hadn't woken anyone. He would admit that he enjoyed being home with his family but there was something missing. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, he just knew it was something important.

Walking out into the yard, he felt a smile curve his lips at the feel of cool grass beneath his feet. Allen enjoyed early morning, the farm was usually still sleep or in the first stages of waking up. His sister would cook breakfast, while their farm hand would help with the everyday chores. The only thing he was really allowed to do was just walk around and look at the scenery. Which frustrated Allen more than anything because he knew he could help. Shaking his head, he turned towards the horse pens. He hoped to be able to spend some time with them alone today. He loved his horses, they all gave him a sense of pride to know they belonged to him...even if he couldn't fully remember.

When he reached the wooden fence, Allen climbed up onto the bottom rail. He could see Aristotle and Persephone, the big gray and black Percheron's walking around the wide space. Turning to his right, he grinned to see the twin pairs of American Cream Draft's and Black Forest Horses. They were beautiful pair's, all four breed for their looks, strength, and endurance.

Leaning up on the first rail, Allen let his eyes drift close. He hadn't been sleeping well, plagued by dreams of their farm hand. "If that's what he really is." There was something about him that made Allen nervous. He watched Allen with a sad, broken expression and it made him wonder why. "Sadie said he'd lost someone he loved, maybe he's not over them?" Allen whispered, stomach churning at the thought. He'd first noticed the looks after he'd gone for a swim.

He'd woken up about a month after his accident with a desire to be in the water. After convincing his sister he would be ok, Allen had headed down to the big lake on the other side of the farm. He'd enjoyed the quiet, getting into the water and just relaxing. By the time Allen had decided to head back to the house he had been exhausted but happy. Walking back, he'd spotted Shane watching him. Allen had given him a wave, surprised when he received a flush and shy wave in return. After that, Shane had avoided him as much as possible...until recently.

"Maybe he just doesn't like me? Not that I really care but still..." Heart giving an extra beat at the thought, Allen ignored the desire to analyze the sudden surge of jealousy that tightened his stomach. His thoughts whriling through his head, he hadn't heard the man behind him until he spoke.

"Mr. Styles?"

Eyes snapping open, Allen turned to find Shane standing there, a small frown of concern curving his lips down. "Mornin' Shane, long time no see." Turning back to the horses, he smiled as one of the Black Forest trotted over to him. Holding out his hand, he waited until the large head bowed towards his. "Hi big guy, nice to see you again." Rubbing his nose, Allen smiled. "You know, I've had Roosevelt since I was sixteen. Sadie gave him to me as a graduation gift. Jazmyn was given to me after I was accepted to college." Head tilted to the side, Allen glanced back at Shane. "Aristotle, Persephone, Kennedy, and Anastasia, however, are new to the family."

"They were gifts, from what your sister has said."

Allen huffed in irritation, it was always the same answer, same impassive expression. "What the hell do you want Shane?"

"Your sister said breakfast is ready. If you don't feel like eating she will put a plate back for you."

Allen fought back a shiver, trying to ignore the tingle of excitement that raced along his nerves. Something about the way Shane said it made his skin tingle. Glancing back, Allen was surprised at the tender expression in Shane's eyes. He wanted to ask why he looked at him that way. Why was it Shane that made his body respond in a way it's never done before? "Tell her I'll be up in a few." Turning back to the big buck behind him, Allen sighed at the sound of Shane walking away. Shane made him think of things he shouldn't, wish for things that he couldn't have...unless it was with Shane specifically. "Hey Roosevelt, what do you think about Shane, think he'd like someone like me?" When he was given a gentle nudge, Allen chuckled softly. "Yeah? Well good, because...because I think I'd like someone like Shane." Allen stepped up to the middle rail, reaching up to give his pet a hug. "I'll take you out soon big guy, don't worry. Sadie can't keep us both cooped up forever." Giving the silent giant a gentle pat on the nose, Allen sighed before stepping down. He rubbed his head, fingers probing the spot where his scar was hidden. It had been bothering him for a few days, usually when he was angry or stressed. Shaking his head, Allen looked up at the dark chestnut face framed by a mane of platinum hair. "I'll come see you guys later, ok?" When Roosevelt nodded, Allen gave him a small wave before turning and heading back towards the house. He passed the large oak sitting half way up the path, smiling at the initials carved there through out the years. Running his fingers over the set for his parents, Allen paused at a fresh set beneath theirs. "AS and SM?" Running his fingers over the pair, Allen felt his stomach flutter. Whose initials were these? When had they been added to the tree? Shaking his head, Allen looked closer at the carvings. "These have been here for a while, who is SM, AS could be me but..." Looking up, he grinned at the man walking towards him. "Hey Seth, what brings you out here?"

"I was looking for Shane. Chris is up at the house, said he has something for you."

Allen nodded, turning to brush his fingers over the initials again. "Why can't I remember you? Did I do something to make you leave? Why aren't you here with me now?"

"Styles?"

Starting in surprise, Allen looked up at Seth, giving him a small grin. "Yeah, uh, ok, thanks. I was on my way back anyway." Moving around the taller brunette, Allen sighed. He saw those initials in his dreams, they belonged to a faceless figure that refused to be seen. Heading back to the house, Allen didn't see the man watching him from the other side of the big oak. He was wondering about the initials SM and who did they belong to.

Shane watched as Allen headed back to the house, heart racing at the soft questions echoing in his head. "You didn't do anything and I never left you." Shane said softly.

"How long you gonna let him drive himself crazy? Don't you think it's time you talk to him?"

"Fuck you Seth, not everyone can have their partner without any issues." Shane watched as Allen walked away. "You're right though. Sadie says it's time I tell him, again. It's been a year and he's beginning to ask more questions." Shane let out a rough sigh, turning to the horse pen behind them. "At least he still loves the horses."

"Of course he does, just like he loves you." Seth shook his head at the frown on Shane's face. "Listen, I'm not the sentimental, mushy type but I've been talking to Chris and he said he's been talking to Styles about you."

Shane looked up in surprise at Seth's statement. "What has he been saying? Does he hate me or..."

Seth interrupted Shane with a soft chuckle. "Come on, let's hang out with the horses while we talk about your husband for once."

Shane nodded, glancing back behind him he was surprised to find Allen standing on the porch watching them. Despite the distance, Shane could see the worried expression on Allen's face. Turning back towards the pens, Shane sighed. "Maybe you guys are right, maybe it's time we sat down and had a serious talk."

"Yeah because Chris say's he's asking about his tan line."

Shane frowned as he climbed up onto the railing. "What tan line?"

"The one around his ring finger."

Shane sighed. "He took it off during our fight, I tried to give it back to him but he refused to take itr. By the time we'd made up, it was a week before his accident and I'd planned on giving it back on our anniversary."

Seth frowned, shaking his head as he watched the six horses in the pen. "Well damn, I can see where that sucks." Sighing, Seth leaned against the top rail. "Well, your anniversary is coming back up so..." At the soft sound from Shane, Seth turned. "Look, I know it's a sore spot, especially after a year but you love him, everyone can see it. He's beginning to notice as well. Chris said it makes him nervous but..." Seth frowned as he searched for the right word.

"But what Seth, it makes him what?" Shane hated how eager he sounded, jaw clenching as he struggled to contain his curiosity. At first, things had been horrible, having to watch from a distance as Allen slowly regained his memories. When he'd seemed to remember faces and names, things had become easier. Shane had hoped he would remember him, and he did. Not the man he married but the farm hand his sister had hired. Shane was grateful for that much but his heart wanted more. He needed the man he'd fallen in love with. He missed their nights of soft laughter and conversation. The days of working together doing farm chores or watching Allen with the horses. Shane also missed the nights of passion with his partner. The ghosts of small, calloused hands moving over him in eager anticipation tormented him at night.

"But he's asking questions Chris can't answer. Like who is it you loved so much you still have their ring? Have you dated anyone since losing this person. Just...Chris can't answer those questions Shane and you know I'm all for you protecting you and him but this..." Seth waved his hand between them. "Between the two of us, you know this has gone on long enough. If you want your husband back go get him back."

"It's not that damn easy Seth. You think I don't want him? Seriously? There is not one day that has gone by for the past year I haven't wanted him! Not one, ok? But it's just...it's not that easy to talk to him anymore. He's different now, more...distant."

"Well for one he thinks you like Sadie. Chris said Styles is jealous of the relationship between you two." Seth frowned, shaking his head as he was nudged in the back. "I didn't bring you anything you spoiled prince." He chuckled, glancing up at the gray Percheron behind him. "You only do that because Styles taught you how." He grinned at the soft huff. Shaking his head, he reached down and picked up a carrot. "Here, knew you could smell them anyway."

Shane shook his head as he watched Seth. He let his thoughts go back over the previous year. Things hadn't been easy but he was grateful for what he did have. "Four years Seth."

"You know he's going to be pissed he missed a whole year."

Shane frowned, gaze dropping to the ground. "I thought I was protecting him by not pushing to hard. I thought if I let him figure it out on his own he would eventually realize..." Shane broke off as he fought back the desire to head back to the house. "I didn't want to pressure him, if he didn't remember who I was then maybe if I gave him the space..."

"You just put distance between you two. What did you do to try and jog his memory and don't give me that look. You know I've had to hear it from Chris because his best friend is asking about things he has no clue about."

"It's not like I haven't tried talking to him." Shane sighed as he looked up at the barn. "He usually comes down to the barn around the middle of the afternoon. We, uh, we talk about the things he likes to do and about the horses. I don't push or ask to many questions, I just listen." He loved to listen to Allen talk, especially about the horses. "His face lights up when he talks about them and I just sit back and enjoy being with him."

"But you're not telling him anything Shane. Come on now, don't you want your husband back?"

""Yes damnit! You think I don't Seth?! I left my company in the hands of one of my closest friends to come out and help take care of my husband! How could you think I don't want him back?!"

Seth glared at the shouting man, anger curving his lips down. "How the fuck do you think it looks Shane? No one is seeing much effort on your part to get your husband back. Don't yell at me because you're fucking up and I'm trying to help!"

Shane sucked in a harsh breath, turning away from Seth he tried to calm down his racing heart. He wanted to yell at everyone in anger and frustration. Shane wanted to go find the other man and tell him everything he wanted to know. To tell him they were married, had been for two years before his accident and four years total. When a hand landed on his back, Shane stiffened. "I don't want to scare him off Seth. You know how long it took for him to open up to me. After he found out about the company..."

"You were wrong then too, should have told him you came from money." Seth grinned at Shane's soft huff. "But I can say I should have told Chris the truth about me too."

"I'll talk to him again, I just...I-I don't know what to say anymore." Shane leaned against the railing, sighing as Roosevelt gave him a nudge. "You two have known him longer than I have, what would you and Aristotle suggest I do?" Looking up at the big chestnut face, Shane studied the silent animal. "Does he still love me is the question." When the majestic head nodded, Shane felt his stomach flutter. "He's been talking to you too?"

"Oww, damnit I'm not the one asking the questions he is!" Seth glared at the gray stud in front of him. "You know, you're a real asshole for a horse."

Shane let out a sharp laugh of surprise, looking from Seth to Aristotle and back. "Aristotle, Kennedy, and Roosevelt all share the same pen. When Allen goes out to see them he tells them everything." Shane frowned, thoughts going over ways to tell Allen who he really was. "His doctors said it could set him back if I tell him anything he doesn't want to believe."

"Well I'm pretty sure he wants to believe you want him." Seth grinned at Shane's look of interest. "You know, why don't you take him out to the lake? You always said he liked taking the boat out on the water. Why don't you do that?"

Shane nodded, running a hand slowly up and down Roosevelt's nose. "He's an out doors type so that may help relax him. Hopefully he doesn't try to drown me when I tell him everything."

"Tell who everything about what and why would they drown you for it?"

Shane turned at the sharp question, stomach fluttering at the angry brunette in front of him. "Mr. Styles."

"Stop calling me that! For the love of god, my name is Allen, can you say it? A-l-l-e-n." Allen glared at Shane. He'd waited for both Shane and Seth to come back up to the house before eating. When an hour passed and neither had still shown up, Allen had given in to the small curl of jealousy twisting through his stomach. He'd tried to listen to Chris and what he was telling him but he couldn't stop thinking about Shane being with someone else. Despite their earlier interaction, Allen couldn't help wanting Shane's attention. For some unknown reason, he had to keep Shane's focus only on him.

Now, Shane was focused on him and he was angry. Taking a small step back, Allen tried to keep his composure as Shane advanced on him. "Shane?"

"I know exactly what your fucking name is and just how to spell it, Allen." Shane glared at the brunette, ignoring the surprised blond behind him. "I've taken your verbal abuse since I got here. There's not been one day where you've not made sure to belittle me for some small reason. Why? I don't know but I do know that I will not tolerate it anymore."

Allen blinked in surprise at the soft voice, sucking in a quick breath as he moved back from Shane. A memory floated through his head, making him frown as he studied the dark expression in front of him. "We got into an argument...you, uh, you got a phone call?" Frowning, Allen watched as Shane froze in surprise. "We were supposed to be on vacation and you got a call, we got into an argument..."

"It was a few days before your accident. We, ah, we had plans to celebrate with your family." Shane whispered, watching as Allen frowned in concentration. There were times like these when he would remember things but the next day, if Shane attempted to bring them up, Allen became upset and defensive. This time however, he seemed focused on what he was trying to remember. "Allen?"

"You stayed, said it was because I came first." Allen watched as Shane's expression softened. Warm, dark chocolate brown eyes moved over him. "You're not just a farm hand are you?"

"Not fully but I've learned how to help out here and there." Glancing back at Seth, Shane nodded as he and Chris gave him a small wave. Turning back to Allen, Shane was surprised by the unguarded expression in front of him. "What do you want to know."

"Who the fuck are you and why are you here? You must be someone important but are you here for just me or me and my sister?" Jealousy colored his words as Allen glared at Shane.

"Just you, Sadie is beautiful, granted but she has her own partner just as I have mine." Shane watched as a flash of relief moved across Allen.'s face. "You are my husband. We were married here on the farm and honeymooned..."

"In Acapulco. You went surfing and I stayed on the beach." Allen looked down at his feet, frowning as the memory floated forward. "You looked good on a board, not much chance out here on the farm though." Turning away from Shane, Allen unconsciously rubbed his middle finger over his ring finger. "Where is my ring if we're married? Why don't I have it on?"

"You threw it at me when we got into it. I tried giving it back but you wouldn't take it at first. The day of your accident, you had it on and took it off to check on Roosevelt." Shane watched as Allen slowly paced in front of him. "He had something stuck in his shoe, when you tried to get it out..."

"He kicked me." Allen said softly. "He was in pain and when I tried to help him, he kicked me."

"He didn't mean it, he tried to get you to stay awake after it happened. I've never seen an animal respond the way he did." Shane watched as Allen slowly became agitated. "He was a gift to you for graduation from Sadie. Jazmyn was your college graduation gift and Aristotle and Persephone..."

"Were wedding gifts from your parents. Kennedy and Anastasia were wedding gifts from you." Allen stopped in front of Shane, hands clenched at his sides. "How long has it been?"

Shane wouldn't pretend not to understand what he was being asked so he took a deep breath before he spoke. "It's been almost a year."

"We've been married for four years?" Glancing at Shane from the corner of is eye, Allen waited for an answer. If they were married that meant what Allen felt for Shane wasn't wrong. When Shane nodded, he let out a soft sigh of relief. "Then it's ok how I feel about you."

Shane's gaze narrowed as he studied the muttering man in front of him. He listened to the soft rambling, head tilted in curiosity. Reaching out, Shane grabbed Allen's wrist, stopping him mid step. "We were married out here on the farm. Chris and Stephanie stood up with us. My mom and dad, despite his shit, showed up as did..."

"My mom and step-dad." Allen frowned in concentration. "It was supposed to have rained but it was cloudy and you wore a dress shirt and jeans because we were outside." Allen remembered the grin that had lit up his face to see Shane. The tall, broad shouldered man had a matching grin on his face when he spotted Allen. "I saw you and..."

"It was the last thing I remember until you said I do." Shane finished softly. He saw the look of terror, the immediate distrust. "Allen..." Shane started as he slowly released him.

"Why are you just now saying something? Did you enjoy watching me run around with half my memories? Did you get a fucking kick out of how stupid I was being over you?" Allen glared at Shane, trying to figure out why Shane had taken so long. "What happened for you to not want to tell me the truth until now?"

"We've had this conversation more than once over the past year. Each time you would remember more but the next day if I asked you about it you became upset. Said you didn't have any clue as to what I was talking about." Shane watched as Allen walked towards the barn then back. "I've tried telling you for the past year who I was."

"Kurt's running the company." Allen said softly. He knew just how much Shane's company meant to him, knew that if he'd left it with Kurt in charge... "It was our anniversary party, we had plans but something came up at the company."

"Yes, Kurt needed my signature on some papers, the sellers weren't willing to accept just his alone."

Allen nodded, frowning as he tried to remember everything he could about Shane. What did he know about this dark haired man watching him? What was their relationship like, had it been an easy romance or had it been difficult? Why had Shane decided to marry him and not someone else? Why had it taken a year...

"You still think out loud." Shane said softly, sitting down on the ground, he squinted up at Allen, watching as he stopped in surprise. "Is it hard to believe I married you because I love you? There has never been anyone else in my life like you and when your accident happened..." Shane let out a rough sigh. "I thought I was going to lose you. You went down and I just..." Shaking his head, Shane frowned. "We had a pretty easy relationship, until you found out who my family was. You were pretty pissed I hadn't told you but in all fairness..."

"You wanted me to love you, not your money." Allen cut Shane off softly. He studied the ground in front of him, aware of Shane on a different level now. Glancing at the silent man, Allen wondered what Shane was thinking. Face heating, he thought about the dreams he'd been having recently. Dreams filled of a man who was built like Shane but always hid in the shadows. He refused to let Allen see his face...until now. "Did we, uh, h-have we ever, umm..." How did he ask if they've had sex? Something he was sure they have done but he still wanted to confirm it. When Shane remained silent, Allen frowned, face burning as he looked at Shane. "You know what I'm asking Shane."

"Have we ever had sex? Yes, usually three or four times a day. You're insatiable on a good day, which was usually every day." Shane said with a small grin. He'd known Allen was attracted to him but with his memory loss, Shane refused to do anything about it. "We have more in common than just sex though. You're one of the first people to convince me that horses are for more than work or collections."

"They are awesome animals, the strength and beauty from them is amazing. Did you know that Roosevelt and Jaz were originally bred from a full blooded Black Forest sire? Sadie said it took them a while to find a pure blood but the end results were worth it. Roosevelt and Jaz are both registered pure bloods a-and their mine." Voice soft, Allen looked at Shane, stomach fluttering as he nodded. "I won't...I'm not selling him Shane, neither of them. I've had Roosevelt since I was sixteen."

"That's why he is still here, I told them how important he was to you. I couldn't let him be put down, you'd never forgive me if I had." Shane watched the look of pain on Allen's face change to relief. "You love him more than anything and he hadn't meant to hurt you."

Allen nodded, thoughts fighting to order themselves. He didn't remember everything about the accident but he did remember hearing a voice shouting at him. The fear from the other had been clear, the desperate clutch of hands holding him up as he faded in and out of darkness had been real. "Four years and this last year you've been living out here?"

"There wasn't anywhere else I was needed." Shane watched as Allen's expression turned thoughtful. "You've been asking questions?"

Flushing, Allen turned away from Shane. "Seth say something to you about it?"

"He may have mentioned something. What is it you want to know Allen?" Giving him a small smile, Shane waited as the brunette standing above him spoke.

"If you, uh, if we haven't in a year, have you, umm, what ah, what do you do?" Not the question he wanted to ask but one either way. Frowning in frustration at Shane's silence, A.J watched as Shane flushed before looking away. "Shane?"

"Again, I've not had sex with anyone since the last time I was with you. There has never been a reason for me to want someone else and you're still here with me." Shane saw the pleased look Allen tried to hide, bright blue eyes watching him with a different light. "Vampire blue."

Allen blinked in surprise, taking a step closer to Shane. "How..." He broke off with a confused frown. "How do you know that?"

"It's the color of your eyes once you come. The first time I saw you, your eyes had me hooked. The first time we had sex, I swore I'd never forget the color. When we went shopping for paint I found the color palette." Shane smiled as Allen gave him a look of surprised pleasure.

"Sadie told me the color was rare and that anyone who had it..."

"Was as special as the person they fell in love with."

Allen sucked in a soft breath, confused and turned on at the same time. "How do you know that, did Sadie..."

"You told me the first night we spent together. You were laughing at the fact that I couldn't verify the color and I ended up kissing you, best decision I'd ever made too." Shane smiled at the blush that spread across Allen's cheeks. "We didn't have sex, we spent the night getting to know each other." He watched as Allen slowly sat down next to him, giving him small, shy glances as Shane talked. "You love talking about the horses and your sister. I think you've told me more about Roosevelt and Jaz than you have about yourself." At the soft huff of amusement, Shane grinned. "You love them though, almost as much as you love your sister."

"Sadie is perfect, I mean there's no one who could be better other than..." Allen paused, shifting closer to Shane. "Other than if she had a twin." He wanted to ask Shane every question running through his head. How did he know Shane's best friend's name was Kurt? Where did they live, was it on the farm or in the city? Did they have kids? Did Shane still love him enough to stay? "Shane?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

Allen felt his face heat at the soft endearment, aware of his heart racing as he looked up into dark, smiling eyes. "I, uh, w-would you..." Unsure why he was suddenly nervous, Allen, glanced down at Shane's hands. "You still wear your wedding ring."

"We're still married, there's no reason for me not to wear it." Shane frowned, the soft statement making his stomach clench. "You don't remember anything about me except for my being a farm hand?"

"No, I-I mean yes but..." Confused, Allen turned away from Shane, trying to order the thoughts racing through his head. "There are some things just...they aren't really clear." So the question of whether Shane would stay was answered. "And kids?"

"We were thinking about adopting. I was cutting back on my hours so we could spend more time figuring everything out. Where to live was one thing we were working on as well." Shane glanced around the wide open space, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You always loved to be free, just like your horses."

"You bought the farm for me, literally." Allen turned to look at Shane, surprised at the blush now covering his face. "Shane, is this..."

"Yes."

"But..." Allen frowned as he glanced over at the small cabin Shane stayed in. "You don't..."

"It was easier to handle staying in the cabin than the house." Shane didn't want to admit it drove him crazy being so close to Allen but unable to be near him as he wanted. It wasn't about sex it was about the closeness they once had.

"Do you, umm, y-you said that you haven't since we, uh, but you had to have, at, uh, at sometime..." He didn't really want an answer but something deep inside him needed to know. Allen wanted to hear again from Shane...

"I've been here since your accident and I haven't left. There has been no one else since you." Shane watched as stiff shoulder's slowly relaxed. This part of the conversation was always the same except for this time Allen didn't get up and leave. "Are you worried about there being someone else?"

Allen tried to push back the flutter of jealousy at the thought of Shane with someone else. Glancing back at the silent man behind him, Allen let his gaze move over Shane. He wondered what Shane did in his down time, did he enjoy movies or watching television? What was his favorite food or drink? Letting out a soft sigh of frustration, Allen looked over at Shane's hand. "And if I ask for my ring back?"

Shane stiffened in surprise. "You've never asked for it back before."

"But, if, umm, if I wanted it back?"

"Then obviously you can have it back, it's yours...forever." Shane watched as A.J nodded before standing up. "Leaving?"

"No, I, umm, I was thinking that maybe we could talk later? Sadie will have lunch ready in a few, maybe you can come up to the house and eat with us?" Allen tried to fight back the flush flooding his cheeks. He wanted more time with Shane but he knew there were things they needed to do before lunch. "Or umm, I have an appointment with the doctor in an hour. You could come up to the house and still eat with us, right?"

Shane nodded, unwilling to admit that he's been to every appointment Allen has had. "Sure, if you're going to be ok with it."

"It's you Shane, if we're married you should know what's going on right?" Allen turned, studying the other man. "Four years, huh? How did you put up with me for so long?"

"You're gorgeous when you're happy, fantastic when you're angry and everything I've ever wanted in my whole life." Shane looked up at the flushed face, smiling at the pleasure swimming in Allen's eyes. "You're the best part of my life and I'll stay as long as you will let me."

Allen grinned as he turned away from Shane. "Ok, well, umm, I'm going back to the house, I'll see you in an hour?"

"Yes."

Nodding, Allen turned and headed back to the house. Glancing back, he felt his stomach flutter at the look on Shane's face. "Don't be late Shane."

"I won't, I'll see you in a few."

Allen flushed, turning away from Shane as he headed back to the house. He could feel the dark gaze on him, watching him until he made it around the large oak. Letting out a soft sigh, Allen leaned against the big tree. A nervous giggle escaped him as he thought about everything Shane told him. "Maybe Sadie can help me get Shane back. If he's been here this long maybe..."

"Allen?"

Turning, Allen smiled at the petite brunette walking towards him. "I was just thinking about you. I need your help with something." When his sister nodded, Allen took the basket she held from her. "Let's go hang this out and we can talk, ok?"

"Very well, are you alright?"

"I, no, I mean, I am but..." How did he ask his sister to teach him how to seduce his husband?

"But what? Did you get to talk to Shane?"

"He said we're married, have been for four years and he's been here since my accident." Setting the basket down, Allen picked up one of the sheets on top. "Sadie, how do I get my husband back? If I can't remember him, how do I work on getting him back?"

"What do you not remember about Shane? Is it what you had that you want or what you missed that you need?"

"Both, I know something or someone is missing and if it's Shane then I need to figure it out as soon as possible. I can't sleep, I'm always jealous when he's around someone else and..." Flushing, Allen looked away from his sister's knowing gaze. "I'm having dreams about Shane."

"You've been attracted to Shane since you first met him. When you two started dating you were happy but worried. From how you explained it, Shane had never dated a man before but he was attracted to you, specifically."

"That's a start, right? I mean, if Shane went out with me once, I could start over with that can't I? He's my husband Sadie, I should know something about how to turn him on!" Throwing his hands up in frustration Allen looked around the sheet in front of him. He sighed at the face looking back at him. "Please Sadie, You know him better than I do right now. Help me get my husband back."

"Shane will not do anything until he is certain you have your full memory back."

"That may not happen! The doctors said..."

"They said you may never regain your full memory and look what you've done! We thought you'd never remember me or the horses but you did and then you started asking about Chris a-and Shinsuke."

"What about..." Frowning, Allen studied Sadie, taking in the bare feet and long flowing dress. "Juls...your wife's name is Juls Gaines." Gaze narrowing, Allen finally noticed it, the small bump under her dress. "Your pregnant."

"We had decided to go with artificial insemination. I didn't get the call until a week after your accident. We did not wish to take from the attention you deserved."

"Shane knew?"

"No, we have not told him but I am sure he has guessed by now."

Allen watched as bright green eyes smiled up at him. "So, I'm going to be an uncle, huh?" Grinning, Allen looked at his sister. "Wow, I'm just..." Sighing, Allen reached out and hugged Sadie. "God I've been selfish, where is Juls now?"

"She is with Bray and Dean, they went fishing this morning."

"I'm going to be an uncle." Allen said in awe. "Shane said we were talking about adopting. I don't...not that I don't want to but I can't remember any of that. I do remember where the horses came from. Shane said that was a good thing, I also remember Kurt but then I don't if that makes any sense."

"He is very close to Shane, like a father figure in a way. You think he's entertaining but kind of stiff?"

"Stiff? Is that what I said?" Allen laughed, reaching for the basket behind him. "I don't think he's stiff so much as business all the time."

"You said he acted as if he hadn't been laid in years."

Fighting back a laugh, Allen turned away from his sister. "I'd never say something like that about anyone."

"The first time you met Shane you said he acted as if he'd been fucked by a crooked hot iron poker."

Letting out a sharp laugh, Allen shook his head. "Shane was so damn stiff. He kept calling me Mr. Styles and it irritated the hell out of me. I swear I wanted to punch him as much as I wanted to kiss him." He missed the look of surprise from Sadie, his thoughts slowly wandering back to when he'd first met Shane. "He has the most gorgeous head of hair sis, I mean, it's dark and thick like Aristotle's mane. When I give him scalp massages, Shane hums some kind of tune."

"You...how, umm, how do you remember that Allen?"

"Shane likes stuff like that. When I touch him, he likes little signs of affection." Allen continued as if he hadn't heard Sadie. "He used to say I have magical hands."

"They felt better than my masseuse."

Looking up, Allen watched as Shane slowly walked towards them, a frown curving his lips down. "Shane?"

"How do you remember that? The last time you gave me a massage..."

"We were on a train headed north. We had a private cabin arranged and you were tired and sore from the car ride to the station." Frowning, Allen felt his stomach flutter at the look on Shane's face. "That's the first time..."

"Yes." Shane felt his face heating as he watched Allen studying him. "You are the only man I've ever been attracted to."

Allen grinned as he glanced over at Sadie. "Did you know we're going to be uncles? I mean, you said we talked about adoption, what if we start with babysitting then go from there?" At Shane's look of surprise, Allen paused. "Unless you, uh, you don't want to...with me, anymore. I mean I can understand why you..."

"Allen stop. I'm not going anywhere I'm just a little surprised that's all." Looking over at Sadie, Shane sighed. "So Wyatt was right."

"You know how he is."

"Yeah, a real asshole." Shane chuckled before turning back to Allen. "I'll do whatever you want to do."

Allen stiffened, fighting back the shiver that raced along his nerves. I'll do whatever you want me to do. "You've said that before. Not that exact statement but something close to it."

"I thought I was going to lose you so I was begging you to stay awake." Shane gave him a small smile. "In all fairness, I wasn't sure what to say but..."

Watching as Shane shifted from foot to foot, Allen frowned in confusion. "No, you've said it before that. We were..." Eyes narrowing in concentration, Allen studied Shane. "We were at a hotel? Or a, umm, a bed and breakfast?"

"It was our first anniversary, you wanted to take a week off and do a road trip. We stayed..."

"In the presidential suite at the Day Break, the room smelled liked moth balls but the view..."

"Had been breathtaking." Shane frowned, heart racing as he studied the now silent man in front of him. "How do you remember that and not..."

"I remember you damnit, I remember the wrong things about you though!" Allen shouted. Shaking his head, he let out a harsh sound. "And I don't mean it's bad, well, maybe it would have been before I found out we were married but..."

Shane walked forward and kissed him, the only way he knew to stop the angry rambling. When Allen went pliant against him, he slowly pulled back. "If you can remember that much..."

"God do you know how to kiss."

Shane grinned at the flushed expression. "I've never understood how you could say that with a straight face." If the answer he received was the same after four years...

"Straight my ass, there is nothing straight about the way you kissed me." Allen blinked up at Shane in surprise, soft words echoing in his head.

"Allen?" Shane frowned as Allen slowly pulled back from him. "Sweetheart?"

"No, I don't...just, just give me a few, ok?" Shaking, Allen avoided Shane's gaze. "I need to, uh, I need to think." Turning, Allen ran, forgetting what he had been previously doing.

"I scared him."

"He scared himself, you simply confirmed what he already knew."

"Was that what he'd been waiting for? Proof that I was telling the truth?" Shane glanced over at Sadie, taking the small basket from her. "You're pregnant, stop lifting heavy things." He grinned at her soft huff, glancing up towards the house in worry. "The doctor is supposed to be here in a few, what if they say I've set him back? What if kissing him did more harm than good?"

"Do you regret it?"

"No, I'd do it again if it would help." Shane sighed as he helped Sadie finish hanging the sheets. "Sadie?"

"He wishes to get you back. You are very much on his mind Shane."

Shane nodded, dark gaze lifting to the man standing on the porch. "Good, because he's very much on mine as well."

Watching as Shane helped Sadie, Allen frowned in frustration. He could remember certain things, places, and times with Shane but they were fragments. Bits and pieces that refused to shape into any sense of coherency. He wanted to know how to fix things, how did he go about keeping the man who had just kissed him. "God, he's a great kisser." Allen whispered, fingers brushing over his lips. He'd never been kissed as if he meant the world to someone. "He must really..."

"Mr. Styles?"

Turning, Allen was surprised to find a dark haired man standing behind him. "Hey Dr. Silva, you're early."

"My apologies, is this a bad time?"

"No, I guess it's fine. You won't mind if Shane comes with us will you?" Glancing behind him, he could see Shane watching him. "He's my husband and I kind of want him there."

"I believe it would be good for him to join us."

Nodding, Allen turned and headed into the house. "He gets jealous easily so he'll be here in a few." Walking into the kitchen, Allen smiled at the small gray headed woman at the stove. "Sara? I thought you were going to the city."

"I had this desire to make something for lunch. Go, talk to your friend, we will talk later."

Allen nodded, pressing a kiss against soft, silver gray strands. "Be careful when you leave." Once he'd been given an answer, Allen headed towards the living room. "She's never going to make it to the city and back before nightfall."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not really, she always makes sure we eat if Sadie doesn't cook." Sitting down on the couch, Allen looked at the silent man across from him. He sighed at the backdoor opening and the sounds of Sadie and Shane's voice's. "Didn't take as long as usual."

"You remember it being longer?"

Looking up, Allen frowned. "Shane usually takes about five minutes to get here from the kitchen. He says it's so I'm not uncomfortable but..."

"You do not believe him?"

"It's not that, I just...why does it really take him so long?"

"Rushing you was never a good thing, you always push back."

Allen looked over to find Shane standing in the doorway. "But five minutes Shane? What are you doing in..."

"Anything to keep myself from thinking you'll forget me again." Shane said softly, glancing up at the silent man across from Allen. "We've been doing this for the past year and each time you forget the conversations. I'm just trying to be sure..."

"I remember you, not everything but..." Allen broke off in frustration. "But I remember certain things about you, isn't that better than not remembering anything at all?"

"The fact that you remember anything about Shane and have not forgotten by now, is a step forward. A huge step in this case due to your memories not resurfacing for almost a year."

Glancing from his doctor to Shane, Allen frowned. "It's not good if I'm going to forget it all again!"

"Then we figure out a way for that not to happen."

We have to figure out a way to help him! Someone do something, figure out how to keep him alive!

"The nurses were pissing you off with how slow they were moving. The doctor...the doctor kept trying to brush everything off like it was nothing until my X-Rays came back."

"He thought it was a minor laceration, turned out to be more than that." Shane slowly walked into the room, a glass of water in his hand. "You'd actually received a hairline skull fracture. When the alarms on your heart monitor went off and you started seizing..." Shane took a deep breath as he held the bright, blue gaze watching him. "I swore I'd ruin the doctor's life if anything happened to you. They had to shock you three times to restart your heart and I just..."

"Hey, hey hey look I'm alive though. Maybe with a few missing pieces here and there but I'm still here." Allen walked over and took the glass from Shane, surprised at how tight he was holding it. "Shane, give me the glass."

"They said...they said that if we had waited longer you'd have brain damage. You had...when you were kicked you went down hard and..." Shane shivered as he watched the pale face in front of him. "I couldn't lose you, so I stayed as close to you as I could. When you became agitated at me being around, I moved out. It was easier than sleeping outside the bedroom."

Allen let out a sharp laugh of surprise. "Why outside the bedroom?"

"I couldn't sleep in the room with you. You offer a type of temptation that's hard for me to resist." Shane felt his face heating at the look of interest that filled Allen's eyes.

"Is that so?" Shaking his head, Allen turned to find Dr. Silva watching them. "Doc?"

"How much of your life with Shane do you remember?"

"We were married April twenty-second, Earth Day. I wanted to be here for the ceremony, Sadie was already out here with the horses and Shane, dream that he is, agreed."

"The smile you gave me was more than enough reason to have it here." Shane felt his stomach flutter at the look on Allen's face. "Allen?"

"You hate brussel sprouts but love broccoli with cheese. You asked me to marry you in the middle of a rainstorm, after I sprained my ankle trying to get in the damn car." Allen chuckled as he sank down onto the couch with a sigh. "Shane kissed me and my life has never been boring since."

"Allen?"

"Your name is Shane Brandon McMahon, you were born January fifteenth, and yes, I know who you are." Looking down with a sigh, Allen nodded his head. "I've been getting memories or pieces for about a month now. Every time I was around you I wanted you and..."

"It scared you." Glancing up at the silent man watching them, Shane moved towards the couch. "The first kiss..."

"Was initiated by me. I was trying to prove a point to you about how you felt about me, until you kissed me back." Looking at Shane, Allen grinned. "You're a great kisser." When Shane flushed, he laughed softly. "I've been walking around in this fog with this person following me. Every time I looked up you were standing there, watching me with this sad, broken look."

"It hurt to see you struggling but every time we talked you'd forget by the next day." Shane said softly.

"Was it difficult to accept or believe Allen?"

"I mean yeah, look at Shane, why me?" Allen grinned as he thought about their first date. "Everyone knows why I'm with him but why in the hell..."

"Because you make me laugh, more than I have in a very long time." Shane sat down next to the smiling man looking at him. "I like how I feel when I'm with you and how easy it is to just relax with you."

"You're such a fucking sap." Allen flushed as he looked away from Shane. "Why a year though, if I've remembered before why did it take..."

"Your emotional well being is just as important as your mental well being. If one is off then it is a struggle to get them both back on an even level."

"So basically because my emotions were all over the place my memories were too." Allen watched as Shane slowly eased closer, a small grin curving his lips. "Shane kissed me earlier and I just..."

"I did too but if you won't remember it after..." Shane sighed in frustration. "That's why it was easier to stay at the cabin."

"Well maybe we can work on a way to find some common ground now?"

Allen nodded, watching as Shane gave him a small smile. "Have anywhere you need to be?"

"If you're not there it's not important."

Allen let out a soft huff, turning to hide his grin of pleasure. "Behave, we'll talk later."

Shane nodded,watching the smiling man next to him. To know that the kiss helped made his chest swell. "I should have done it sooner."

"Maybe, you didn't then but you did now and that's what really counts." Allen grinned at the smile Shane gave him, relieved to finally have the pieces falling back into place. "Not everything is making sense but I guess that's normal?"

"You're not expected to remember everything all at once. It is good that you have remembered as much as you have. Your progress over the past year has been very good despite everything you've gone through."

Allen nodded, leaning back against the couch he sighed. "Well Sadie will be happy to hear that. Means she and Juls can celebrate." Jerking up right, he blinked as a grin curved his lips. "It's our anniversary in two weeks."

"Yes." Shane answered softly.

"What about a party, you know, to celebrate? Sadie's pregnant, we've been married four years, and I can finally remember my husband." Allen glanced down, eyes going to his hand. "Shane?"

"I keep it on a chain around my neck." Shane watched as bright blue eyes lifted to his. "I've kept it with me the entire time."

"Well give it back, it's mine and I..." Allen broke off as platinum band was slid onto his ring finger. "The inscription?"

"Is still there, it's engraved into both of our rings." Shane watched the blush that darkened Allen's skin. "Mine says Always Yours, Allen, ad yours say's..."

"Forever Yours, Shane." Allen watched as Shane's grin turned into a soft smile. "I thought you'd think I was being to sentimental or sappy when I asked for the engraving."

"Anything to keep you happy and smiling at me." Shane looked up at the sound of a soft click. Glancing around, he was surprised to see Dr. Silva had disappeared. "Where did Dr. Silva go?"

"Probably to go talk to Sadie." Allen sighed. "Hey Shane?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Are you going to say it or do I have to first?"

Shane felt a grin tugging the corners of his lips up. "You have to say it first this time. I've said it first for the past year."

Sighing in mock frustration, Allen grinned. "You're a real asshole you know that? Why can't you..." He broke off with a sigh as Shane kissed him. "Yeah, ok then." Running a hand through Shane's hair, Allen smiled. "I love you Shane."

Shane let out a soft murmur of pleasure, pressing a kiss against Allen's wrist. "I love you too, sweetheart. Always and Forever."