YO! It's That time again: time for kittens to take canon off the rails, make some things sadder, fix the worst of things, challenge Barry's poor life choices, and generally cause Chaos in Central city. bit of a slow start, but I hope you enjoy where things diverge and the kitten cuteness!

Caboodle of Chaos: Chapter one

"You are at least a year old and a superkitty, you should know by now, that is not your breakfast," Joe waved a spoon at a fluffy grey and white cat, who had her face buried in a bowl on the kitchen table. "Barry, your breakfast just became catfood."

"Mew." Nyoom looked up, blinked, and went back to the bowl of oatmeal, purring as she lapped up the sweetened milk.

There was no response from upstairs, where Barry Allen was presumably still sleeping. Joe shrugged. "Fine. It's all yours, Nyoom. He can get lectured by Caitlin for not eating, no skin off my back."

Barry rushed in the front door a minute later, his clothing rumbled and a square imprint on his cheek. "Sorry, fell asleep at STAR-Nyoom! No! That's mine!"

Nyoom looked up again, let out a 'mrt' and went back to eating. Barry grumbled, but checked the pot on the stove. There was plenty left, at least.

"Joooooe," Barry mock whined as he scooted Nyoom from the table.

"She was on time to breakfast, and that's saying something for a cat." Joe said in defense before Barry could mutter about him letting his breakfast get eaten. "Besides, I can't control you or Iris, what am I supposed to do about a cat that's faster than you?"

This was true. When she'd finally grown into her yearling body, her long legs more of an asset, Nyoom could not only run faster than Barry, but generally for a longer time, assuming she'd eaten enough. Caitlin had been fascinated by it, Cisco had just started working on a joke costume made from the scraps left over whenever Barry damaged a Flash suit beyond repair. As far as Barry knew, he hadn't finished, but they'd had a busy enough summer.

Martine Stein and Ronnie had, with help from Ginger the pyromaniac cat, "disposed" of the rather mangled body of Eobard Thawne. Harrison Wells was listed as one of the six casualties of the Singularity, a number that would have been far higher without the Flash.

("Or without you, Fuzz," Cisco had told her, chopping steak for her dinner. She had earned a fancy meal every night for as long as she lived, everyone had decided, and her bowling ball of a belly was proof that she agreed.) There had been some looting in the aftermath, but when Barry returned to the streets a the next day, it had tapered off, and things had gone back to some semblance of normal.

Well, as normal as things could be, now that Cisco'd joined Joe's Metahuman task-force as a consultant, and CSI Sava had given up trying to keep cats out of the CCPD. That, plus all the chaos that came from trying to actually run STAR labs again.

Caitlin and Cisco had dug around, Barry helping where he could, and uncloved that while Gideon was gone, the bank account the AI had started was still around-the JL Gideon fund still active, though now without a Gideon to run it. There was a long string of zeros, though, and the instructions were for the money to be used to help victims of metahuman activity. The first check they cut was to cover costs for those injured in the Singularity, and Cisco conferred with the local hospitals, arguing with them in three languages at times, to get something automated set up for future disasters. All the while, Fuzzwhump purred at him, chewing on his hoodie's ragged cuff, or one his shoe laces.

Letters from some lawyer piled up-Barry wanted to burn them, but Ginger was remarkably unhelpful with that, having been trained by Martin and Clarissa to not destroy important documents. The next best thing was ignoring them. Things eased into a new normal, full of red tape-getting Ronnie un-declared dead was surprisingly less difficult than expected, and rather than apartment hunt, Ronnie and Caitlin had simply moved in with the Steins after a double honeymoon to Tahiti and to Italy-in the hunt for Gideon, they'd found more than one secret bank account, and since it was technically in Caitlin's name as well as Barry and Cisco's….all in all, Barry had expected a lot more bureaucracy BS, but he wasn't going to complain. And if this normal had more cats and fewer time traveling murderers, then really, what was there to complain about? It was worth missing a bowl of oatmeal once in awhile.

Even without the constant barrage of metahuman threats-things had been suspiciously calm the last month, probably owing to Firestorm's appearance, and possibly to the cats, there were still crimes to be solved. Before breakfast was even finished, Joe's phone rang, and he and Barry headed for the door, leaving Nyoom to finish the rest of her breakfast, Barry's, and Joe's. She purred, cleaning her paws delicately, then raced from the house to chase the very fat squirrels away from her yard. That job done, she took off, white static sparking in her fur, back towards STAR. She had Responsibilities, after all. Someone had to make sure that all the papers got knocked onto the floor, and any of Sco's leftovers got eaten. It was a tough job, but someone had doo. Nyoom zipped down the streets, not even stopping to preen when she noticed people staring at where she had been.

The others were glad to see her, greeting her with waving tails and nose touches. Frieda put a large reddish paw on her back and held her in place while she licked, cleaning the last of the oatmeal from Nyoom's long fur, while Faulkner dozed at his computer, tail twapping against the "A" key. Few of the others were about-Sue and Georgia, along with Schrodi were off again, trying to find the missing humans from the boxes downstairs. They'd been gone for ages now, but still. Scrap and Fuzz and Ginger were with their humans, as were Goldie and Bear. Lucy popped out of a closet, barreled into Nyoom with a high nonsense noise learned from humans, and Nyoom battled back, pinning the smaller kitten easily and licking her ear, before dashing off again, zipping between Caitlin's legs. The woman squeaked in surprise.

"Nyoom, when did you get here?" Really, they needed to up the security, not to keep the kitties out, but to warn everyone who was "home" and who was not. She'd mention it to Cisco later.

"Ok, but it's the Flash Day celebration, so why can't I just send Nyoom?" Barry muttered to Joe, crouching at the crime scene.

"Send a cat? That's funny. We both know damn well that cat doesn't go anywhere she doesn't want to. You can bring her, but avoiding this-they just want to say thank you. To all of you."

"Firestorm doesn't have to deal with this."
Joe laughed. "Give it six months and he will. You just get more publicity. Bar, I do think it's a good idea."

"...I'm not giving a speech." Barry looked back at the body he was supposed to have been checking. " Victim's Al Rothstein-funny, I thought he was listened as one of the victims of the particle accelerator? Could be something there. Petechiae on his face and the whites of his eyes, and this bruising around his neck…"

"Strangled then? Damn. whoever did it must be huge."

Barry nodded.

"We sure it's not our Curious George?"

Barry shrugged. "Ever since Apricot vanished with him, Grodd hasn't been so much as spotted, much less robbing trucks or going on rampages. Nah, the bruising's not quite right for a Gorilla anyway. Had to have been a meta."

"Take your samples for STAR, too, then, be-"

"Quick about it?" Barry quirked a grin.

"Yeah, you keep those puns up, I'm really gonna give your breakfast to your cat." Joe laughed. " go on. At least show up at the Rally, ok? No speech, just smile and wave and, I dunno, maybe run up the side of something."

Cisco checked the computer, glancing at the large stack of parts he'd ordered, a rolled up blueprint sheet on top. Though technically he had a desk near Joe's, he still preferred to work at STAR Labs. It was, after all, home, in a way that the police station just wasn't. He'd finished the last touches on the Iron Heights metahuman cells a week and a half prior, and was moving on to another project, a temporary measure that could incapacitate a metahuman criminal without lasting damage. He also had another project going, and he waited fir the computer to load. When it did, he grinned.

"Another 500 followers, Fuzz," he told the fluffy cat currently sniffing at the pile of tools and odds and ends he'd be using to make the first prototype Boot. The social media account he'd created under the name "Metakitties" had exploded in popularity after Iris's blog confirmed the existence of "Flashcat," though he was careful never to include faces, and keep the videos as close to normal as possible-nothing that he couldn't later "reveal" was just clever camera work. Fuzzwhump blinked pale eyes at him, and let out a trilling purr before going back to her investigation.

Cisco gave her a lazy scritch. It was only in the last month that she's started allowing him to leave her sight, but she still disliked it. When he gathered everything up to take back to STAR, she leaped onto his shoulder, nosing his ear. He grinned, turning his head to bump her lightly with his own nose.

"That tickles, Fuzzbrat."

He stopped by the Captain's office to drop off paperwork and offer a kitty treat to Raoul, sleek and lazy as ever, sprawled out on top of the Inbox, demanding tribute in exchange for not shredding vital documents. ("It's a good system, fewer people trying to dump stuff they could really handle themselves on me," Singh had said when Cisco had first asked.)

The Flash Day Rally went off without a hitch, unless one was to count a kitten in a special made red trypolymer costume getting stuck halfway up the twenty foot banner she'd tried to climb and the interruption of a supervillain throwing things. The Boot prototype had failed somewhat spectacularly, but then Nyoom distanged herself from the banner and managed to trip the guy up while Barry came up with a plan B, or rather plan C, since Plan B was, as always " run around really fast."

He got in a few lucky blows, managing to escape while Barry was busy getting people out of the way of suddenly airborn hot-dog carts and scooters, but no one was injured, not really, and that counted as a good day in Barry's book.

"Yeah, that was definitely Al Rothstein," Cisco gestured at the STAR Labs computer screens.

"So there are three of them?" Caitlin frowned. "Wells said-I mean-Thawne-I mean-Eobard."

"He said a lot of things, like that Ronnie was dead, so I mean, grain of salt," Cisco shrugged, making Fuzzwhump flatten her ears as she hung on to one shoulder-Lucy had joined him on the other, and they were getting bigger. There was hardly room.

"Yeah, but I mean, there's still just one of me," Ronnie frowned. "Barry, are you sure it was-"

"Yes, the body at the plant this morning was Rothstein. Al Rothstein, and he doesn't have a twin, or anything. I mean, I'd say it was someone like Everyman, but…"

"Whoever it is, we need to figure out what it was they wanted, and why," Caitlin said.

Barry ran a hand through his hair. " I don't know, I mean, he came to the Rally looking for me, maybe that's all? If I give him a fight…"

"Yeah, well, before we go with that brilliant plan, let's figure out how to stop him," Iris suggested. "I can look through the submissions to my blog, see what's what."

"And while you're doing that, there might be something-" Cisco dug in his overlarge pocket. "The radiation tag from the crime scene was completely blank, and that's like, impossible, so...might be worth looking into? Caitlin?"

Barry was working on his own analysis of the crime scene, and a few other case files, when someone knocked on the doorframe. Nyoom went to investigate, and the smartly dressed man looked awkwardly at the cat leaving hair all over his slacks.

"Mr. Allen? I have something that is rather important for you."

Barry knew what Lawyers tended to look like, there was just an aura about them, and he winced. "Look, if it's about the letters…"

"So you have been getting them." the man nodded. "I'm Greg Turk. I'm an attorney at Weathersby and Stone. As you know, Harrison Wells left the property to you and the two remaining employees as part of his living trust. Since he has been officially declared dead, though, there are requirements that must be addressed."

"Wait what? What do you mean, Requirments?"

"If you'd looked at the letters we'd sent…" Greg spread his hands. "STAR Labs and the rest of Doctor Wells' assets only remain with you if you watch this. The will was quite specific."

Barry felt his gut roil. One more final taunt seemed too much to bear, but that was likely exactly what it was. Maybe something worse.

"Have you seen it?" Barry asked, hesitently.

"No, but the device will alert me when it's been viewed. You have until the end of the week-it would have been longer, but the letters…" he nodded sharply. "It's up to you, but you'll be throwing away quite a bit if you refuse. Please come collect your cat."

Barry opened a drawer and tossed a kitty treat at Nyoom, who released her grip on the lawyer's no longer pristine dark slacks, leaving a heavy coating of white fur behind.

"I think I found a way to beat him," Cisco said. "So, we figured out-well, we think, he drains radiation. Uses it to power himself. So, if we send you to distract him, and get Shmendrick close…"

"Then Battery Cat can drain this Atom Smasher." Martin finished. Everyone stood around the cortex table.

"I like the nicknames," Cisco said. Cailin let out a fake sounding sneeze, and Barry quickly nodded to bring everyone back to the main focus.

"The cells up at IH should be able to hold him, if he's drain, right?"

"Theoretically. They've got suppressants so he wouldn't be able to use his powers to suck up more radiation, at any rate." Cisco agreed. " So all we really need to do is catch him."

"It's too risky for us," Ronnie said, pointing at the professor. "Anything we throw at him, he'd just eat, so it's on you and the cats."

The cats perked up. Those they didn't always understand exactly what was going on, they were quick to figure out that whoever Barry was attacking, they were meant to also attack, and they'd get a fancy dinner and lots of cuddles for it.

"Hey, Schmendrick," Iris cooed. "Ready to go make a nasty bad guy knock it off? Yes, yes you are." He butted his head against her hand.

"Meeow?" (Do I get Foooood?) he chirped.

(Always food for helping. Always food anyway) Frieda licked her paw and twitched fuffed ears. (Sooner we get rid of the Nastybadguy, sooner food and calm again.)

The Al Rothstein lookalike was frankly massive, but Barry had always been good at dodging hamfisted swings, and he'd only gotten nimbler, avoiding stepping on Nyoom's tail. It wasn't too difficult to lure him to the badlands, were there would be no civilians in danger, and then set Schmendrick on him. The tortoiseshell cat sprang off a large bounder and sunk all his claws into the man's arm, clinging for dear life, getting stronger even as the metahuman shrank smaller and smaller.

"Who are you?" Barry asked when he was normal sized again, and not even strong enough to stand. "Why did you kill Al Rothstein, why do you look like him?"

"You'd never believe me. Kill me, go ahead. It's too late now."

"I'm not going to kill you. Put you in prison for murder, yes. And try me."

"Prison won't keep me safe. Not from Zoom."

"Zoom?"

But Atom-smasher refused to say another word. Schmendrick hopped off his captive so that Barry could deliver him to IH, taking a few extra milliseconds to give his dad a hug.

"So, we need to watch this thing," Barry said, retrieving the device from where Nyoom was batting at it like one of her often mauled to death toys. "Who's ready?" With the cats piled around them, Barry waited until everyone nodded, particularly Cisco-if it was a video with Thawne-as-Wells, it might set off Fuzzwhump, and that was the last thing anyone wanted. While his entire Starlabs family was there, many of the cats hadn't bothered to stick to the cortex. Bear and Faulkner were down in the pipeline, according to the cameras, Lucy and Murgatroyd asleep in one of the empty closets, and those on the prowl for Grodd and the prodigal Apricot had yet to return. Still, it was a cozy enough setting, several cats draping themselves lazily over laps and shoulders, Iris scribbling in a notepad ideas for her next article, Cisco keeping Fuzz's attention on a bit of string.

Before Barry could click play, however, footsteps approached down the hall. Everyone looked, noting that anyone with access was already there, even Eddie, finished with some paperwork, and Clarissa.

A fair haired man stood framed in the doorway, one hand held out in appeasement. It didn't stop Joe and Eddie from reaching for their guns.

"Who are you, how did you get in here?" Barry demanded, eyes flicking to the suit in the display case for anyone to see.

"My name," the man swallowed. "is Jay Garrick, and-"

Whatever he was about to say was cut off by Goldie's sharp "Mrrt."

(Liar)

And there goes canon. don't worry, I'm not gonna change /everything/...heheh.

hope y'all enjoyed, feel free to comment.