Future Robin:

I always had a thing for guns. I am Canadian what can I say?

Spending my time with guns is espcially given when I'm mad, angry, disappointed or sad.

After I had broken up with Don I felt all these things at the same time and it was driving me crazy. So, one time I was at the shooting hall shooting away the pain. Or at least trying to.

Past Robin:

BANG

BANGBANGBANG is all I can hear.

„You stupid bastard. Im going to find you and kill you. I am going to torture you until you scream like a little girl." I started laughing like a young girl who's birthday present has just been a puppy with big brown eyes. And I am talking about big, big brown eyes who you are going to drown in if you stare long enough at them. Like the stars. Or like a good hockey game where the players sweat hits your face. Or scotch. Boy, what I'd give to drink a good old scotch right now.

I sigh and remember that I was actually standing in a shooting hall shooting the life out of these goddamn paper figures because of Don. Sonofabitch. I really hate him. I want to cut of his tiny little finger.

Future Robin:

But boy, I didn't say finger.

Past Robin:

I am rudely interrupted by my cell phone. Ted is calling.

„Hi Ted."

Ted: „Hi Robin."

Lilly: „Hi, Sweety."

I am obviously on loudspeaker.

Marshall: „Hi birthd..."

Lily: „Shut up!"

Barney: „WHAT UP, Scherbatsky?"

Ted: „We were wondering if you want to meet us at McLarens in 15?"

„Sure. I'll be there."

-x-x-x-

15 minutes later I am sitting next to Barney, wondering were the hell my friends are.

„You look horrible. Seriously. I am having nightmares of all the cheetos sticking at your chin. I had a dream were all the food in your hair actually came to life. Just take a shower. Gosh."

I want to reply but he's faster.

„I could even help washing you if that's what you want." And with that he blinks at me and nodds with that evil smile of his.

I hit him on the arm and he shrinks together. „OUCH! I know you like it dirty but that's just not nice."

I smile and notice that I miss hanging out with Barney alone. I look at him and shake my head.

„Where are all the others?"

„I am not enough for you?"

He holds his heart and starts spasming, falls to the floor and makes weird noises.

„You done?"

Barney gets up, straightens his suit and sits down again.

„Sure."

„No really. Where are they?"

„Moved to Hawaii in a CIA mission. The President called Marshall in a secret mission where he should train a league of ninjas to overturn the government of Hawaii. And if you're now questioning the possibilty of this mission, all I can say is: YES, THEY CAN!"

„Barney!"

„Yes, Scherbatsky?" He's looking at me all nice and innocent.

„I'll just leave now. I've got better things to do." is all i can say, while i grab my bag.

„Right. Like being the anchor of the most unspectacular tv channel of the history of TV. You don't need to brag." He's smiling that evil smile again, having his arms outstretched over the armrest, drinking the usual gin and tonic.

I hate him.

And that's when I leave. But before I can, he grabs my arm and I can feel his breath on my face. It smells like gin and tonic, his usual - probably really expensive - after-shave lotion and just Barney. It's just intoxicating. Maybe I don't hate him as much as I think I do. As soon as I think that I want to slap myself for it.

„Barney to Robin. You there?" And his hand is waving in front of my face.

„I will seriously slap you if you won't let me go."

„Is that a promise or something?" He laughs while looking right into my eyes but lets me go nontheless.

„Just friggen tell me why I came all the way to McLarens when nobody is actually here."

„You will sooner or later find out. But when I earlier said you need to take a shower I wasn't joking. And that's what we're going to do. Well you. Although I might agree to a litte fun in the shower together."

I roll my eyes but he continues.

„We are going to my apartment and you're going to take a shower and after that we'll see."

„Why again should I come to your apartment when I am living upstairs?"

„Just do it."

„Fine." And with that we leave.

-x-x-x-

Barney grabs his keys and unlocks the door to his apartment. I haven't been here for a long time. Since the break up. When he opens the door I have to smile thinking about all the memories I have of us hanging out together. He catches my smile and smiles back.

„So...The towels are in my room's drawer."

„I know. I kind of have been here before."

„Right."

After an awkward moment of silence: „Do you want anything to eat? I could call the reception."

„I'd love to. I haven't had a real meal in forever."

„Okay. And now get a shower."

When I step out of the shower I see the bottle of after-shave lotion he always uses. I grab a towel and wrap it around my body. Then, I walk over to the bottle and open it. It smells like him and after thinking about it, I put a drop on my wrist. He seriously wouldn't smell anything, would he? I open the door and remember I haven't got any clothes to change.

Barney is sitting on the coach, reading the newspaper when he notices I am in the room. He looks at me. Well, a better word would be scan. He scans my body and then he clears his throat. Typical.

I smile at him and say: „I didn't bring any clothes to change."

„Right. I can give you some of my stuff."

I nodd and say: „Do you actually own anything else than suits?"

„Yes. You mean the ordinary stuff guys like Ted wear?"

„Exactly."

„Follow me." And I do.

He opens his drawer and gives me some boxers, a t-shirt and some pyjama pants.

„Is that okay for now?"

„Sure. Could you leave? I want to change."

„Or...OR...I could watch."

„Yeah...Seriously. Get out of here."

He laughs and leaves the room.

„And Barney?"

„Yeah?"

„No cameras."

„Dammit", was all I could hear.

I join him in the living room right when the door bell rings. Probably our food.

He opens the door and a really hot chick stands at the door. I mean, even I have to admit she's probably a Nine. I already hate her. She's wearing something like a uniform which means she's an employee of the hotel and brings us our food.

„Hi Barney." She's totally flirting with him. But Whatever. Not like I care. At all.

„Hi Stacey."

„Here's your food. Should I serv it to you?"

„Sure."

She steps into the apartment and when she sees me, I swear she gets the „crazy look". Maybe she's a little bit in love with our Barney Stinson.

„Oh. You're having a guest. How lovely." With that she turns to me. „I'm Stacey."

„Robin." I try to be as nice as possible. Still, it doesn't sound as effortless as it had meant to be.

She servs the dinner and leaves again without saying another word to any of us. Her poor little heart. I should've stabbed it by saying: „Hey Stacey. You know what? Barney and me have once been a couple."

I shouldn't get all crazy girlfriend about this. Barney and I broke up about 10 months ago. I'm mad about Don. Me and him broke up just recently. I need to concentrate on that.

We sit down and eat our meal. But on my salad are olives and I really don't like them.

„Hey Barney?"

He looks at me.

„Do you maybe want to eat my olives?"

„Huh?"

„Olives. I don't like them."

„Yeah. Me neither."

That was kind of weird. I hoped he would say he liked them. And then we'd have the olive theory. Like Marshall and Lily used to before it came out that, actually, Marshall likes olives . I am being creepy. Think about Don. Think about Don.

Yes. Good old anger and pain. How I missed you.

Barney interrupted me in my thoughts.

„We can go now."

„Were are we going?"

„Meeting Ted, Marshall and Lily?"

„Right."

I put on my heels and my trenchcoat. Barney closed the door after me and we took a taxi. Where, for whatever reason Rangit was the driver. Like usual.