Prologue: The beginnings of a new Life
How I long for things to go back to the way they were. It's a need that is so deep, its woven itself into my very being. Things are so very different now then they were all those days ago, all those nights past. A longing that has become part of my every breath that without it, I fear that I would loose every part of my former being. With time comes change, but saying that it is only slight change is being untruthful, and unfair to those of us who have experienced it first handedly.
Things were never like this before the war, things were so much different. Sure we had the unfortunate lingering of our impending doom above our heads, but I think that we were all happier then, or at least I was. I was cared about then, I was noticed, and most importantly I was important. Now I am just normal, but that's not what I want to be, I never wanted to be normal. From the moment I first stepped into that majestic castle I knew that great things were meant for me. That I, Hermione Jane Granger, would one day come to walk the face of the earth knowing that there was a purpose for my being.
Now, I am not so sure, maybe my purpose is fulfilled leaving me to be just another person to dwell on their pathetic existence. What is left of my life? There is really no point in striving to succeed in something that isn't meant to be. Yet here I am, taking the first step to the rest of my life. With missing part of the sixth year of Hogwart's my grades slipped, resulting in the Head girl Badge to be handed to another girl. The very perfection that I have strived for is falling from my grasp.
Everything is falling from my grasp, and as alarming as it is, I have only stood by to watch everything in my life become more and more of a distant memory. With all of the new-found fame and glory, my friends have found bigger and better things than to worry of such things as the way that things used to be, for they feel that things are better forgotten then relived. None of us really want to relive the previous days, the ones of fear and anticipation, but rather move onto this new carefree existence.
They don't see the distant look in my eyes, or the secret longing behind my every word. The only thing that they see me is, as is a distant memory of the past, the one that they would rather forget. I don't really think that it matters at this point, there is nothing left for us to discuss. Harry with his new freedom, Ron with his final stand of freedom, no longer in the shadow of the famous Harry Potter, Ginny has committed all of her time to the relationship between her and Harry that will never be rekindled. She doesn't see this for what it is, but I do, and when reality slaps her hard I won't be the one there for her since she hasn't been there for me. I know how cruel that must sound, but we were supposed to be there for each other, up until the very end.
Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to have died. I would have been honored as a hero, worshipped for my part in the downfall of the darkest lord to walk the earth; instead I was the one who helped. I was the one who was forgotten when Harry and Ron were honored for their 'Brilliance'. Some brilliance that is, after all it was mine. Not once did they ever think to hand me some of the credit, after everything that I had gone through to help them, after all of the sleepless nights that I had spent researching, plotting, and planning. They took over all of the spotlight. So much for Harry wanting the 'normal life' one free from his stories, one free from the spotlight, one free from the swarms of girls. I would rather say that him and Ronald are quite enjoying themselves, doing as they please as if they own the world.
I have been struggling ever since, trying to find myself in the jumbled mess of myself, trying to reconstruct the sequence of my life, trying to find order in this chaotic mess. Nothing is working, I have tried talking to my so-called friends, and not a single word has been uttered that was completely sincere. I am beginning to wonder whether it is even worth continuing on a friendship that has crumbled under the weight of their large heads and larger egos.
I hope that they enjoy the long nights of homework, and studying for that is what awaits them. Hopefully they wont get preferential treatment. I know that Snape wont give them that, he loathes them to every extent of the word. There is a minor drawback in that however, he also hates me.
Here I sit on the Hogwart's Express, gazing out the window while patiently (or as patiently as I can) awaiting the inevitable stopping of the train signaling the beginning of the end of an era. This is the last year at Hogwarts. This is the beginning of something unfamiliar, new, and incredible.