Court of Redwall, or How I Sued an Otter

by Jiago Brandtail

For some reason Flinky is an armchair lawyer and files a lawsuit against Bragoon and Saro with the 'Court of Redwall' for their first meeting in Loamhedge. This is probably only entertaining to me, but I'll post it anyway. The form is based on a generic legal complaint form. If it amuses me further I might do more for other characters.

Flinky of the Northlands

The Swamp

Mossflower Woods, Mossflower

In Pro Persona

COURT OF REDWALL, COUNTY OF MOSSFLOWER

LIMITED JURISDICTION

Flinky of the Northlands

Plaintiff

vs.

Bragoon of Redwall

Sarobando of Redwall

Defendants

Case No.: 45778

COMPLAINT FOR:

1) SLANDER

2) HARASSMENT

3) COERCION

Plaintiff Flinky of the Northlands (hereinafter "Plaintiff"), makes the following allegations against Defendants Bragoon of Redwall and Sarobando of Redwall (hereinafter "Defendants").

JURISDICTION AND VENUE

This Court has jurisdiction over all causes of action asserted herein pursuant to the Redwall Abbey Charter Article II, Section 1.

This Court has jurisdiction over all Defendants because all Defendants are Mossflower residents.

Venue is proper because the causes of action stated herein arose in this judicial district. Venue is further proper in this Court because:

(a) The Allegations were performed in this County;

(b) Defendants Bragoon of Redwall and Sarobando of Redwall reside in this County;

(c) Plaintiff Flinky of the Northlands resides in this County.

PARTIES

Plaintiff, Flinky of the Northlands ("Plaintiff") is an individual who resides in the County of Mossflower

Defendants Bragoon of Redwall and Sarobando of Redwall reside in the County of Mossflower, (hereafter collectively referred to as "Defendants").

FACTUAL ALLEGATIONS

1. On or about the first day of the Summer of Angry Badgers, Defendants approached the campsite of Plaintiff et al. on public campgrounds.

2. Whereupon Defendants executed a slanderous song and dance routine, aimed at vilifying Plaintiff et al (the Slander).

3. Whereupon Plaintiff did not take part in the resulting altercation (affray, aggravated assault, armed robbery, second-degree murder) currently sub judice (Bragoon vs. Redwall, Sarobando vs. Redwall, Skrodd vs. Redwall), Defendants made threats of violence (the Threats).

4. Whereupon Defendants inquired after Plaintiff's immigration status, Defendants demanded Plaintiff to leave the County of Mossflower (the Demand).

5. Upon making the Demand, Defendants threatened Plaintiff with death if the Demand was refused.

WHEREFORE, Plaintiff prays for judgment against Defendants as follows:

For damages in the amount of one (1) longsword or similar with demonstrable supernatural powers;

Reasonable attorneys' fees and costs of suit herein incurred; and

For such other and further relief as the court may deem proper.

DATED: Fifteenth Day of the Summer of Angry Badgers

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,

By Flinky of the Northlands

Plaintiff in Pro Persona