Hello. My name is Tamashi Suzuki… I'm weird. That's about it. I'm currently reading one of these marvelous Hetalia x reader lemons…. Don't judge me I'm a fangirl I know! As I said, I'm sitting here, reading this lovely Lovino x Reader lemon, when an advertisement comes up.
I groan, not wanting my lovely fanfiction to be interrupted by this nonsense. I was just about to hit the sparkling red 'x' on the box, when my eye captured the words: Buy your free Hetalia Units!
I instantly almost knocked down my cup of ramen once I saw the words 'Hetalia' and 'free'. I read it further. So apparently, it was an advertisement for these 'units' which are supposed to resemble the actual characters… And for free?! HELL YEAH!
I instantly filled out my information, not caring what I was getting myself into. I missed Comic Con this year! Toki, Asuka, Ritsu, Sora, Rikau, Mizuki, and Toshiko all had fun with the sexy cosplayers without me! Payback time!
I clicked the send button, and I sat back, picking up my ramen and nomming happily on it. I am such a genius eh?
The next day, I woke up yawning and stretching my legs out. I fell asleep reading lemons again, and it gave me those….. Well… those dreams. I sat up, not noticing the warmness next to me. I rubbed my eyes, and suddenly, I felt something shift beside me. I froze, looking down. Suddenly, all I see is my sisters giant chest rising from her back.
"Nyeeeeh~?" she said yawning. She looked to me curiously. "Tama-cha~~~!" she exclaimed glomping me. How she got into my room when I keep my door locked… the world may never know. I choked, her abnormally large breasts suffocating me. I don't know why she insists on sleeping half naked…. Then again that's one of the reasons I try so hard to keep her from getting raped…. She just loves to act like a seme… she took the seme or uke quiz on and got the 'Badass Uke'*.
I shuffled under her, pushing her off. "Oi Toki! Don't scare me like that!" I shouted at her. She whimpered. I call her kitty because of this. Not only does she have white hair, but she asks just like a kitten when she's sad. I sighed and got up. "Breakfast?" I asked. She instantly perked up and jumped off my bed. "Hellz yeah!" she shouted. I smirked. "To Asuka's house!"
I got dressed quickly, putting my long red hair in a ponytail that fell over my shoulder. I quickly threw on my usual gothic clothes. I put on red pants, with a black shirt that said 'Stop reading my shirt!'. I carelessly slipped on some red, black, and white converse, waiting downstairs for Toki. She came downstairs, half an hour later dressed in her usual crazy fangirl attire.
She was wearing black fishnets with black thigh high boots. She had on a black mini skirt, vaguely revealing her white underwear, with her white 'I love pandas~!' shirt that had a picture of a chibi panda bear eating bamboo on it. She had her white hair tied up in two messy pigtails, with her black headband with a cute little bow on it… She puts WAY too much effort into her outfits.
She skipped out happily, grabbing my hand and her keys, and we walked to Asukas house.
When we arrived, we didn't bother knocking. Asuka loves us, so she wouldn't mind that we came unannounced~ We used the spare key that we know was hiding promptly under the plant. We entered her house quietly, going straight for the kitchen. Toki's mouth watered, as she went straight for the cake she baked last night.
"N-no toki!" I said holding her back. She whimpered, knowing that Asuka would KILL us for eating her cake. She sighed heavily, instead looking for some cereal. "We have to find something!" she whined. "Mind if I help?"
We both froze suddenly at the voice. We turned to see Asuka leaning on the doorway, giving us her famous death glare. Riku, Ritsu's alter ego*, was standing next to her, curling her hair with his finger. "Shaking my head~ tsk tsk tsk~" he said winking at us. Toki and I exchanged confused and worried glares. We both knew that Asuka HATED Riku. She preferred his usual, more cute shota-like personality. But then again, he can change randomly. Toki blushed, seeing him wink at her… Well both of us anyway! And she started to shift her feet.
"Hi Riku-kun~!" she called happily to him. He flinched and hid behind Asuka. Asuka groaned, showing her obvious dislike of the pimp. She looked down sadly. She never liked the fact that he rejected her all the time. Asuka groaned in annoyance. "Why did you two sneak in without knocking?" she asked, obviously knowing the answer. My stomach growled and I laughed nervously. "Because we love you?" I asked. She chuckled lightly, pushing herself off the door. She walked to the stove, not facing us. "Go sit on the couch. Breakfast will be ready in a few." She said not looking at us. Toki and I nodded, running into the living room to find Sora, Toshiko, Rikau, and Mizuki crashed on the floor. I looked at Toki, who looked at me thinking the exact same thing.
"What the hell happened without us?!" we both shouted turning to Riku, who obviously just transformed back into his usual shota self. "W-well… Ya see—" "We all snuck inside last night to give Asuka a surprise for her birthday…" Mizuki interrupted him standing, her long shoulder length pink hair falling over her shoulders messily, "But then we realized that her birthday was March 4th… Not February 4th." She said rubbing her neck nervously. "And by then we had sneaked in… So we had to make an excuse and say we were being chased by a pack of dogs and her house was right here." Ritsu said laughing quietly. "But of course she didn't believe us."
I stared at them. "You were gonna do the thing without us?" I asked, my eyes wide. Ritsu stepped behind Mizuki in defense. "We heard fangirling coming from your house and you know how you get…" Rikau said nervously. I nodded in agreement. "True." Toki stepped out, looking down at Toshiko who had her hand attached to Sora's spiky hair. He shuffled, and then groaned in pain, feeling her hand. "Eh…" he moaned trying to stand up. Toki shushed him. He looked at her and sighed, chuckling softly. Toki inched up to Toshiko, as quietly as possible and kneeled down to remove her mask*.
Instantly, Toshiko's hand shot up like a bullet, grabbing harshly onto Toki's hand, much to Sora's delight. "What do you think you are doing fool?" she asked glaring up at her. She tried to back away, but Toshiko, even when she is half asleep, is far stronger than anyone. Toki laughed nervously.
"T-there was a roach."
"But surely I would have crushed it."
"But you were sleeping."
"Oh? Then how was I able to stop you?" she asked narrowing her eyes. Sora sighed grabbing her wrist. "T… Please let her go..." he said smiling weakly. She blushed and removed her hand, to slap his hand from hers of course. "Do not touch me!" she said growling at him. We all knew she liked him. But he was clueless. "Oh? I'll just... Touch you somewhere else if you like~" he said with a playful smirk. She growled, punching him in the stomach. "Rat." She remarked. "Kitty cat~" he stated. She growled, pulling his hair.
Asuka called us to the kitchen, and we all nearly knocked each other down to get to the table. She was an amazing cook. She placed countless stacks of her infamous strawberry pancakes on the table for us. Along with French toast, eggs, Canadian bacon, and maple syrup.
Rikau tried to be polite and wait for everyone to go, but I was the opposite. I instantly grabbed a plate, a fork, and took the biggest pieces if bacon and French toast I could find, piling my plate with pancakes. Toki was next, then Riku, then Rikau, then Mizuki. We made sure to all save Asuka a decent amount.
"Good?" she asked knowing the answer. We all turned to her grinning madly, giving her the thumbs up. "HELL YEAH!" we all said in unison, our mouths full of pancakes.
I took out my cell phone, going to check my Facebook account, when I saw that I had a new email from Flying Mint Bunny Inc. I tilted my head, opening it and reading it carefully.
"MEIN GOTT!" I shouted. Everyone turned to me with a puzzled look, cocking their eyebrows. "Hn?" Asuka questioned. I showed put my phone up to her face and yelled. "MY NEW HETALIA UNIT IS GOING TO ARRIVE AT MY HOUSE WITHIN THE NEXT 10 MINUTES!" I shouted.
Toki nearly ran out the house. She jumped out the chair, picking her pancakes up in the process. "Let's go..." she said coolly. Did I mention she was more Hetalia crazy then all of us combined? Rikau stood up, along with Mizuki, brushing off their skirts to go help Asuka with the dishes.
Toki stood there impatiently tapping her foot, obviously more excited than I was. "HURRY UP." She shouted, running over to them. The dishes were done in literally 25 seconds. Asuka sighed, standing up and grabbing a poptart, putting the leftover pancakes in the fridge.
Toshiko stood, walking out the house in silence, dragging Sora behind her, with a small smirk on her face. Mizuki, Rikau, and Asuka were next, Asuka grabbing her keys. Finally, Toki, Ritsu and I left, Asuka locking the door when we were all out.
Toki ran down the street, me following closely behind, as she dragged Ritsu with her, his poor form waving in the wind behind her. Soon we arrived at Toki and I's house… Just in time apparently.
As soon as we arrived, I saw a man in a green uniform with a bunny hat, about to leave the front of our door.
"HEY!" I called out before he could turn around. He looked at us, chuckling lightly. He smiled warmly and waved. "Are you Toki Hanamaka or Tamashi Suzuki m'am?" he asked. Of course I put Toki's name on the form too. There might be a time where he stopped by and she was the only one there.
"I'M TOKI!" she called out almost tripping over herself. She had stopped in front of him panting, Ritsu's worn out form on the ground next to her, with swirls where his eyes should be. The guy chuckled as the rest of us slowed down. Toki had this. We all knew.
"Where are the units?" she asked smiling flirtatiously. The guy blushed; my sister has a habit of flirting unconsciously with cute guys, and simply flipped his blonde hair to the side. He blinked his hazel eyes and handed her a clipboard, looking away. "In the truck m'am. Sign this and I'll be right back." He said nodding and walking to the truck as Toki signed her signature. This was going to be a long day... I could tell.
Asuka examined the box, the instruction booklet in her hands. Of course, as soon as he brought the unit in, senpai took control. She told us all to sit down, knowing that we had a habit of easily angering things… And it was quite unpredictable what a unit could do to us.
"Hnnn…." She mumbled to herself. Toki got impatient and yelled. "WHO IS IT?!" "Asuka merely sighed, throwing the manual at her. We all examined it curiously.
FRANCIS BONNEFOIS: User Guide and Manual
Oh no no no no! This cannot be happening… It's bad enough I gotta deal with Toki! But TWO perverts?! That's no bueno. Don't get me wrong, I'm a pervert myself, I love Francis as a character, and hell, his lemons are top notch. But I don't know. I guess I expected something else?
Toki had a wild smirk on her face as she read the ways to wake him up. We were all scared for life. Even Toshiko was two seconds away from stabbing Toki with her kunai. Toki immediately went in her room and got her tablet. She unlocked it, and instantly the sounds of yuri filled the room.
The box nearly exploded as Francis nearly snatched the thing from her. His wild crazy 'Oh hon hon's' filled the room. She smirked, snatching it from him. "For me. Not for you." She said temptingly. He blinked at her, soon reverting to his rapeface.
"Oh hon hon~ Bonjour mademoiselle~" he coed. Out the corner of my eye I saw Asuka's eye twitch and Toshiko dig her hand further in her pocket for her kunai. Ritsu had a slight look of discomfort while Rikau and Mizuki just sat there quietly.
Francis reached inside his cape, removing a rose (Where he got that from, I have no clue because it did NOT say that he came with a rose =_=). He kneeled down, kissing Toki's hand, as she blushed and giggled madly, stealing the rose from him. "Oh Francis, you rapscallion~" she cooed. I laughed my ass off. This must be her dream come true.
Soon, however, Asuka was standing behind him. He obviously felt her shadow, as he quickly stood up and turned. "Oh hon hon and you are~?" he asked. She gave him her infamous death glare, which is one of the reasons we love her: She knows exactly how to intimidate people. "Asuka. The girl you were flirting with is Toki. And I'll have you know, she belongs to me. I own her. So do not touch her. Or anyone else. I'm in charge of them. So if you even think of pulling your pimping nonsense, you're sadly mistaken." She said glaring. I continued to laugh. She shot me a smile, before going back to Francis, who was now shrunken down.
"O-oui." He said smally. She smirked. "Awesome. Now," she started again, "the red head is Tamashi. She is also your owner along with Toki. The pink haired quiet one is Mizuki. The one trying to strangle the one with pointy hair is Toshiko. The pointy haired guy is Sora. The one who looks like she is a diva with the long blonde hair is Rikau. And finally, the cross-gendered one is Ritsu." She stated bluntly. "H-hey! I-I'm a—"
"Yeah yeah we get it." Asuka said plainly. Ritsu was famous for being an unknown gender. Most of us fangirls like to think he's a boy… But he has the feminine qualities of a girl. A very flatchested girl. And none of us have ever been... There to know for sure. So we all just assume he's a boy… Well… It's a boy.
But of course when it comes to Francis, he probably wouldn't care. It was my turn to talk. "Oi Frog~!" I called. He shot me a hard glare, before softening his gaze a bit. Probably realizing I wasn't Arthur. He cleared his throat. "Please do not call me that mon ami." He said softly. I nodded. If he was going to be forced to respect us, the least we could do was respect him as well. "Sorry," I mumbled, "Well besides Toki, I'm your owner. So let me show you around the house~!" I said happily. He nodded, obviously scared, but hesitantly stood from his seat. Toki grabbed his arm, much to his astonishment and he tried to push her off. She stood with him, interlocking his arm with hers. He struggled to break free but she whispered something in his ear that made him give a faint smirk and ease up a bit.
I rolled my eyes, smiling to myself. Her virginity would definitely be gone within a week.
*Badass uke -
*Toki, Asuka, Ritsu, Sora, Rikau, Mizuki, Tamashi, and Toshiko – These are all original characters. The only characters I own are Toki and Toshiko. Everyone else was created by my lovely friends~. To learn more about them, visit our website to read their profiles: apps/members/
*Toshiko wears a ninja mask, much like Kakashi to keep her identity hidden. Only Sora has seen her face and she, being a ninja, has never let ANYONE else see it. She never removes her mask, much to the groups' curiosity.
A/N: Yay so this is my first posted story on here! I plan on making it VERY long. Just telling y'all that now. I just want to make a shoutout to EliteKessu~! She inspired this and I just want to say thankyou! Read the story Why Me? By her I swear it's like the best thing EVAR. But yeah~ I wanted to do something like that. I will update as frequently as possible! PLEASE REVIEW! THANKYOU!~