You know, this was originally going to be a series of one-shots demonstrating the ridiculousness and badassery of Dark Souls characters in their prime "memetic badass" versions if put against RWBY, but now I am not so sure about doing that anymore.
Reasoning why one-shots? Because that was the intent and I wasn't planning on extended story-lines, plus, I don't have the dedication to extend the story in a full-blown epic with badassery leaking out like the Niagara Falls
Oh, and some things are deliberately spelled incorrectly.
In the beginning of all time, the world was vast, gray and barren. Only the massive, stone-like arch-trees grew here, ascending high into the fog that shrouded the world. The rulers of this time were the everlasting dragons whose stone scales granted them immortality and whom were also the wielders of the primordial crystal, a powerful artifact. Little is truly known about this period, only the most ancient of all things were around, and so it was called The Age of the Ancients.
But then, there was fire...
It is a mystery from where Fire came. We only know that it suddenly came to be deep in the hollows of the world, raging brightly and hotly, bringing disparity into the cold and dark world. It is in this First flame, that the four souls of Lords are found. These souls are massively powerful; granting those that hold them god-like power, and thereby dominion in this new world. One soul was found by Nito, the First of the Dead. Another was found by the Witch of Izalith, a powerful sorceress. The third was Gwyn, Lord of Sunlight. And the last came to the being known only as the Furtive Pygmy, his soul weak and flickering unique to the rest. Each individual one was powerful and was determined to carve their place in this new time.
And carve they did...
During the age of fire, with the Lords leading the charge, a war was brought upon the dragons with the intention to usurp their hold over the land, sea, and air. Gwyn used his power to harness the power of lightning. He and his loyal knights hurled massive bolts of lightning, of which peeled away the stone scales of the dragons and rendering them mortal. The Witch of Izalith and her daughters of Chaos used the Catalysts of Izalith, powerful artifacts, and wove massive firestorms, burning the arch-trees, the homes of the dragons. Nito unleashed death and disease upon the dragons, and their bodies crumbled away in the miasma.
Then, there was Seathe the Scaleless, an albino dragon born without the stone scales that granted immortality. The dragon had betrayed his own kind and aided Gwyn in the war. While not immortal, Seathe was still very powerful and very wise, and he coveted the primordial crystal. This "War of Fire" ended when finally the last dragon fell, and the Lords were triumphant. Taking their places as gods in the new world, they ushered in the Age of Fire, an age of prosperity, growth, and succor. The Lords' domain came to be known as Lordran, the land of the Lords, and many human lands began to spring up and flourish around it. For many centuries, or perhaps even millennium, these civilizations grew, and the people loved and feared the Lords, who lived as gods in the city of Anor Londo. All things, however, come to an end.
The coming of darkness had arrived...
For reasons unknown to the Lords, their Souls began to dwindle in power, and the First Flame began to weaken. With the threat of Fire leaving the world, the Lords and the people begin to panic; terrified of returning to the Dark. The Witch of Izalith attempted to recreate the First Flame using powerful Sorcery, but failed miserably and instead released Fires of Chaos. These flames could not be controlled, and the Witch, her followers, and most of her children were consumed in this flame. The flames twisted the Witch and corrupted her completely, becoming the Bed of Chaos, the mother to all demons. Gwyn attempts to aid Izalith in this cataclysm, but it soon becomes apparent that Izalith is lost, and his knights return with armor charred black, an ill omen for what is to come.
Finally conceding to what he sees as a final solution, Gwyn divides his power among his children, and leaves Anor Londo to link his soul to the First Flame, aptly located in the Kiln of the First Flame, hoping to feed it, allowing the Light to last a little longer. Much of his army followed him here, and when the flame rekindled, they were burned to ashes, leaving behind only suits of armor that now wander the world. For defying the coming Dark, Gwyn somehow proliferates the Undead Curse. It is not exactly clear how this curse came to be, but its effects are catastrophic.
Then came the birth of the chosen undead...
When one becomes Undead, they are marked by the accursed Darksign. Their bodies slowly decay, and upon death they are reborn from Bonfires, shrines to the First Flame. Slowly, over many deaths, Undead begin to Hollow, becoming more savage and less intelligent. The people of the world almost universally feared and hated those cursed with undeath, and built an Asylum in the far North, where they sent the Undead to await the end of the world. It is here, a thousand years after Gwyn linked the First Flame, that the Chosen Undead is found, and the events of Dark Souls take place...
Time is convoluted in Lordran with heroes centuries old phasing in and out. The very fabric wavers, and relations shift and obscure. In fact, there's no telling how much your world and mine will remain in contact.
Thus, comes the arrival of heroes of the past, present, and future of whom who will be and could be before and after, or what they could possibly be capable of...
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One of these heroes was a legend of epic proportions. He who, with every step, made the earth tremble in his presence and wake. Garnered in heavy ancient brass, that which had impeded both unstoppable forces and the testament of time. He who wields the chaos zweihander, a weapon only wielded by the inhumanly strong and the slayer of anything alive, and the already dead, and the grass crest shield, a device with the sole purpose of make its user fight even longer; assuming you last long enough. And he who wears a dreadful mask, that whose empty eyes are the abyss itself and eternal gaze that paralyzes even the mightiest of warriors and gods alike.
He is known as the legend, he who never dies. The father of giants. The unstoppable force. The ruin of many undead...
Or, as some simply known him as...Giant Dad...
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Anor Londo, the legendary city of the gods that was once radiant and warm with sunlight, is now entirely dark and cold with the presence of Aldritch, Devourer of gods, inhabiting its hollow shell.
A larger-than-life chosen undead wandered the barren foundation of a once great land. No enemy, no matter how stalwart or aggressive, became wary of his appearance and dared not ignite his ire. Around him were mountains and above him lay the legendary city. In the distance, and atmosphere, he felt the clashing, burning souls of unkindled warriors fighting until the last man stands. Seeing as how these warriors were out of reach up a steep cliff face, the most logical course of action was the climb this small inconvenience.
Giant dad crushed the rock and stone of the cliff in his grip and continued doing so until he go to where he wanted to go.
Up on a small courtyard that overlooked the mountain range, making quite a wonderous view of the cold, dead world, a large congregation of unkindled warriors were sitting on the higher ground and watching two others killing each other for their own amusement.
One of the combatants wielded the Farron greatsword while he donned on the undead legion set while the other carried an immense club and was wearing only the Xanthous crown; Other than that, the latter unkindled was naked. While the naked warrior was faring greatly against the spinning warrior, the sounds of rock breaking broke the sounds of blade and blunt clashing. Most of the spectators didn't think anything of the mysterious sounds until Giant Dad climbed over the fence, broke the wooden structure under his immense weight and strength, and fully clambered over the cliff face and seeing all of the joined surprised faces of every man in the area.
Every unkindled drew their weapon, talisman, magic, and even one who decided to change into the Armor of thorns set. As every member of the fight club prepared to do battle, Giant Dad raised his arms in a mock-hug gesture and boomed out "Well, what is it?" The sheer intensity of his voice alone stunned every man on the field. Just as Giant Dad put his arms down, the head of the fight club raised her blade at Giant Dad and commanded,
"Kill him!" Just as every man charged at the legend, a few members popped out at him
"Hm?" The first one to make contact with him was someone wearing the Eastern Armor Set and carrying the Chaos blade "Shiva of the East?"
"Who?!" As the man quickly swung his blade, Giant Dad swung his Zweihander in tandem. When Chaos blade made contact with the ancient brass, the cursed blade merely insulted the armor by even making contact with it. When the Chaos Zweihander caught the Eastern Warrior's neck, he was immediately beheaded and his body, as well as his flying head, were burning in black immolating flames right down to even his soul,
"More like Shiva the deceased!" As the legend's blade struck the ground, fracturing the ground itself with sheer power, several of the fighters swung and thrust their weapons at the large warrior at the same time while another one up on the watching area released a great bow arrow at him. On his second swing, Giant dad had accidentally parried all of his opponents at the same time, even breaking some of their weapons on contact. At the same time, the great arrow was beat back despite it being imbued with the puncturing arrow weapon art.
Every single fighter expressed a face of doom, that rivaling the father's mask just barely. While the fighters around Giant Dad were stunned, one dexterity-built user ran around the group and came up behind Giant Dad. At that moment, upon his third swing, Giant Dad struck down the fighters who dared raise their weapons. All of them, regardless of stamina, health, or endurance, were all cut down in a single slash. They all burned eternally and internally; screaming in agony as they all fell down and praying for the sweet release of death.
Just as the dexterity-based fighter came up behind Giant Dad and thrust his estoc into his backside, the legend himself turned around quickly and caught the estoc in his right hand. The estoc-user shrieked in absolute terror as he released his weapon and he fell back on the cold stone of the yard. The estoc broke in the giant dad's hand while the man himself stared at the whimpering and shaking warrior with his dead, empty eyes; absolutely capturing him in absolute fear "What r u, Casul?" The warrior's mouth went agape and could barely raise his arms to defend himself as Giant Dad raised his chaos Zweihander and struck down the dumb-struck warrior.
As another one was felled, the original two warriors who were fighting each other both hit the legend at the same time with their strongest strike. As the two weapon arts collided with the man's back, it only managed to move his body slightly, but not his feet. The monster of a man turned his head back just in time to be shot in the head by the great bow archer in the distance. The archer raised her arms up in victory until a few moments later, that she realized, that the puncturing arrow didn't go through his head. Quickly looking once more, the woman was caught in shock and awe at the great arrow being lodged into the eye hole of the father mask, but the legend didn't seem to afflicted heavily by it.
Giant-dad was displeased as he nonchalantly pulled the great arrow out of his head and broke it in his hands. The two warriors that attacked him, therefore, retreated back with the remaining others who were too afraid to attack him.
Every step he took towards the group, they all responded by moving backwards a few paces. At one point, Giant-Dad raised his arms yet again in a mock-hug and said, "Well, what is it?" At that very moment, the majority of the fight club realized that they still carried along the black separation crystal. Most of them pulled their separation crystals and returned back home to not face the beast that planned to devour them. The only ones to remain was the Farron knight and the naked warrior from the beginning.
The Farron knight performed the Legion etiquette gesture while the naked man did a prayer gesture. The Host of the world took a deep breath as she pulled back one more great arrow. Just as the Farron Knight was about to attack, the naked man switched to the sorcerer set and heretic staff. Giant-Dad stood there and allowed the trio to prepare their last fight.
The fight to the death was initiated once Giant-Dad took the first step forward...
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The Farron knight's greatsword fell into ruin, the sorcerer's robes seared from unquenchable flames and the archer was on her knees looking at the bleak skies above with eyes filled with lost light. She clenched Pharis's hat in her hands as Giant-Dad walked away from all of them completely unfazed and unharmed. Whether as respect for their foolish bravery, or because of a single whim, they all lived to see another day. Even if all of them could have revived back at the bonfire, just as with any other death, this time the trio basked in the feeling that they did not feel the power of the old fire running through their blood and incinerating them from within.
Out in the distance, even if giant-dad could not be seen from that point, is voice rumbled and made the air itself tremble with the words traveling it being a resounding "Git gud" That day, the trio of warriors strived to 'git gud' with the life they were spared by the legend.
Giant-Dad continued to walk on alone. Uninterested in the affairs that the world was and has fallen into, he kept wandering the world and he kept encountering heroes of old and new regardless of the time that passes.
Even when, by some miracle, the cycle ends, he would still remain stalwart and unabated...
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Against the sheer black rock face of a mountain was the development of a mining zone specifically made for the findings of dust in the mountain. Judging from the composition of the mountain, and the landscaping, the general area of the mining machinery could gain a healthy amount of fire-based dust at the very minimum. As experienced huntsmen and huntresses specializing in explosives, as well as workers who know how to excavate very well, were carefully blowing up parts of the mountain, they discovered something extraordinary.
An ancient cavern opened up before them and within it was an ancient tomb from many years past and long forgotten. Reminiscent of a tomb, well-preserved scriptures and statues, as well as the old, fossilized trees not known to modern man and architecture unrecognizable to Remnants history were revealed before the entire mining team. Then, all of them quickly evacuated the premises to get both historians and other forces to get the proper equipment to search the place.
As they all did that, several huntsman and huntresses were enthralled by what was inside of the ancient tomb. A great power dwelled inside the unknown space and it attracted the great warriors and veterans of Remnant like moths to a flame. Ignoring all calls and pleas, some of them delved straight into the dark space while the rest stood outside to watch and guard the entrance until proper reinforcements arrived.
Of the group who went inside, there was a total of seven in total; three huntresses and four huntsmen. Of the three huntresses, one wielded what amounted to a mobile ballista, another carried a multi-functional rifle, and the last one carried a bardiche axe. Of the four huntsmen, one carried an axe that also counted as a flamethrower, the next carried a box filled to the brim with explosives, another carried a larger-than-average claymore and the last carried a ton of dust alongside a rifle-staff.
The seven were completely on guard as they ran through the spacious cavern and ignored any and all architecture. Together, they focused on the power sleeping even deeper within the ancient world hidden from the sun. Unfortunately, they didn't have any faunus huntsmen or huntresses with them, as such they had to rely on the limited-use illumination equipment they had on hand.
As the seven traversed the chasm of the underground, a deep guttural sounds reverberated through the rock of the caves. This sound punctured the hunters down to their bones and rattled even their souls. Despite the cold snapping of their wills, they still continued forward and then began discovering the corpses of knights, warriors, and soldiers long forgotten. Though most of them didn't have time to inspect the corpses, a couple of them whose eye-sights were sharper than their comrades noticed how all of them died from some sort of powerful immolation, and some from a single large wound.
Eventually, the group had reached a place akin to that of an open workshop of sorts. For some odd reason, the place was slightly more illuminated than the entire cavern considering the mysterious candles that are lit and scattered all over the shop. With such a change in atmosphere, all seven of them observed the surrounding area and saw the absurd amounts books, scriptures, failed mechanical and biological experiments, and a certain presence looming over the workshop.
It wasn't until that moment that the sounds of something large approached them got everyone up in arms. All of the hunters reacted and aimed their lights and weapons at the source until they saw something true in its horrendous nature. The figure was what would have happened if one decided to put together Giant-Dad and the notorious pinwheel together as one. Six yellow, and eerie lanterns were sprung out from the back and connected with pole-like extremities. Directly covering the back was a cloak that was slightly bulged and reached down to the ground. And, the most horrendous of all, were the mask of the child and the mother alongside the mask of the father, with eyes all glowing faintly yet fiercely, gazing at the group hunters.
The false giant-dad, as monikered Pinwheel-Dad, an abomination to be hidden forever, performed a mock-hug at the group of seven. Only then were the scriptures written on its longer-than-average zweihander even seen with things inscribed such as "number #1 dad" "Legend never dies" "¡MLG!" and, of course, "GIT GUD"
Such a presence intimidated the hunters, as it was unlike anything they had ever witnessed before and a fear like no other grasped their hearts. It was at that moment that more lights had appeared around them and, from seemingly out of nowhere, clones of Pinwheel-Dad had appeared and did the same exact gesture.
Then, the most will-crushing words were said by all of them, words that the hunters will take to their grave, "Well, what is it?" As the Pinwheel-Dads dropped their arms, every hunter broke themselves out of their perpetual cold-feet and finally mustered the courage to fight against the false legends.
Every hunter went up in arms and squared up against all of the Pinwheel-Dads...
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On a large field, clouded in lost light, a large grave of weapons of all nations, time-lines, and warriors scattered the ground and raised towards the sky to heaven. A slightly charred and burnt Giant-Dad was sitting down on the ground sleeping while his chaos zweihander was jammed into the ground and was strongly burning and acted as a bonfire with its chaos flames. This bonfire was the only light to illuminate the souls of warriors long forgotten that are resting at the field.
His snore resonated with the cavern and his slumber was left untested until Giant-Dad felt something off. He raised his head, finally out of his countless millennium of rest, the legend stood up and grabbed his chaos zweihander. Once it was pulled from the ground, a legendary fire and light spread across the field of ashes. The sheer amount of energy pent up spread across the entire cavern, reaching even the outside world, and even the most inadequate of beings felt the power resonate within their very soul; Even the Grimm, who are soulless beings, felt some fire resonate with them, and they feared it with every ounce of their existence.
Giant-Dad then walked towards the source of his attention while he mumbled out-loud, "The legend returns"