It's Never Easy
Title: "It's Never Easy"
Author: Your_Own_Fate (LJ Name)
Fandom: Sarah Connor Chronicles
Pairing: Sarah/Cameron
Rating: PG-13 (For some swearing I think)
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own them Summary: My first ever fan fic so please let me know what you think and be gentle with me =]
You know when Sarah finds out that Cromartie is back, well this is the restless night that follows,she feels a little down hearted but this changes when she has an interesting conversation with Cameron and works a few things out.
Should be a one-shot.
Sarah stares out the window with that intent look in her eyes.
"It's never easy is it"
Sarah sighs.
Only Sarah is ever on edge enough to hear Cameron's subtle footsteps as she approaches and leans against the door frame.
Cameron was wearing a white tank top and boxer shorts courtesy of John and Sarah. Another addition to the never ending list of things to do. Shopping for a terminator,not an easy task. Cameron kept complaining about the lack of room for weapons and how the lighter colors wouldn't work considering the daily events that were bound to occur.
"Is it always going to be this hard?" Sarah asks hopefully
"That depends on what you are referring to?" Cameron asks
"I'm referring to life, this, is this the way it's always going to be? With the running and the hiding and the constant fear of losing him"
Sarah's voice almost quivering as the last statement escaped from it.
Cameron blinks.
"You are Sarah Connor, you will as long as you live be trying to protect John from terminators, being hurt, being killed from everything. This is a mothers job"
"I know who I am. You can't even begin to comprehend the daily fear I have of losing John so don't try to patronize me okay"
Sarah responds throwing the towel she was holding down on the table and turning round to face Cameron.
"I'm detecting tension Sarah"
Cameron calmly states.
"No shit"
Sarah laughs.
It's strange how I can be so worked up with Cameron and then just a phrase or a look,a glance even can change all that. No dammit I shouldn't be thinking like that. She is a terminator. Here to protect us. Not mess with my head Sarah thought.
"Look Cam I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking this out on you"
Sarah offers apologetically looking down.
Anywhere to not look at Cameron's eyes.
She was so human like now. She had so many mannerisms now that made her seem more real. More human.
"Apology accepted Sarah. And thank you"
Sarah looked up now with a hint of curiosity in her eyes.
Cameron noting this replied "You called me 'Cam'. I much prefer that than the other names you have referred to me as"
Sarah now with a slight smile "Um...Yeah. No problem."
A second passes.
"I didn't really call you anything hurtful before did I" Sarah couldn't help herself.
The last thing Sarah wanted to do was hurt Cameron's feelings.
What was she thinking. She was a terminator, she didn't have feelings to hurt. Or did she?
As Sarah was pondering this Cameron was listing all the names that Sarah had called her before to which Sarah felt slightly embarrassed at.
Cameron continued listing "Robot, Miss Tin, Tinny, The Machine, Robo Gal..."
Sarah interrupted "Okay, okay...point taken. Cam it is"
Cameron smiled. The simple gesture somehow struck a chord in Sarah's heart, this shocking both herself and Cameron.
Cameron was attempting to analyze Sarah.
She walked over to Sarah and lightly touched her neck. Which sent a shiver through Sarah.
Which was noted by both of them in particular Cameron.
"What are you doing Cam?" Sarah tries to shrug off the nervousness in her voice.
It would have been a lie if Sarah had tried to deny that she cared for Cameron. As much as she wished she didn't she knew that ultimately she did not want anything bad to happen to her Terminator. God that sounded bad. Her terminator. When did Cameron become hers? This was too complicated for Sarah to try to get to grips with.
The other Terminators were easy. Hard. Tough exterior and interior. However Cameron was different. She couldn't decide why, of course, but she knew that Cameron was different somehow. She was the pretty as a picture teenage girl who was beautiful. John wasn't the only one to notice this but Sarah couldn't exactly turn around and wolf whistle to Cameron. That would encourage questions. Questions which she honestly wasn't sure if she had the answers to. Yet.
Cameron stared at Sarah as she was analyzing. She blinked. A beat passed. Sarah's heart rate increased and she suddenly felt like the heat in the room had just been turned up by a hundred degree's.
Cameron then responded too calmly for Sarah's liking "Your tense Sarah. You need to relax or you won't be good to anyone."
"Great." Sarah huffed out.
"I better relax otherwise I'm no good. Throw me to wolves why don't you Cam"
Cameron looked genuinely confused.
"Why would I throw you to the wolves? I was sent to protect you and John Connor. That would not be the best course of action for mission success"
Sarah laughed and smiled a genuine smile for the first time in day's if not week's.
"It was a figure of speech Cam. You really should look up your human idioms or something" Sarah said between half laughs.
"I will take that into consideration. However, I was not referring to you being useful for fighting and such. I meant being there for John. He hasn't told you. But he told me in the future. He told me many things about you. And one of them was how you are his rock. He feels safest and strongest around you. That is what I meant. I didn't mean to be a freak"
"John been calling you that again? It's just because he get's embarrassed around you. I think he took a shine to you, you know, when he thought you weren't a robot?" Sarah explains.
"I'm not a robot. I'm a cybernetic organism."
Sarah rolls her eyes.
She should have expected that response. Cam was touchy about that.
A second passes.
"What do you mean took a shine?" Cameron asks.
Sarah feels the need to add to her previous response, aware of Cameron's confusion.
"How to put it, well... Okay I think he was 'into you'? Erm... he had a crush on you?" Sarah attempts to explain and almost cringe's at the teenage slang that she had just used. Thank God John wasn't here.
"I understand. Thank you for explaining"
Sarah lets out a gasp of air "You do?"
"Yes. John thought I was aesthetically pleasing. Attractive. A hottie. Had a bitchin' body. Am I accurate in understanding what you meant? I looked into the human idioms folder as you suggested" Cameron smiles acting pleased with herself.
"Um yeah, that's pretty much the idea" Sarah leans against the counter and then swiftly jumps up on it.
Cameron shifts at the motion. Then states matter of factly "I think you are aesthetically pleasing Sarah"
Sarah laughs. Looks Cameron directly in the eye and then blushes.
"I didn't think you were programmed to have those kinds of thoughts Cam?"
"I wasn't programmed with them. They are in my files and routines. I can analyze human behavior, and as such, I am aware of human feelings of lust, love, desire and arousal amongst others"
Sarah attempted to get to grips with the flood of information she had just found out.
"So let me get this straight. You can tell when humans feel emotions towards others?"
"Affirmative. Most of the time they give away tell tale signs of each specific emotion. For example, if like you said, John had a crush on me then I would have picked up on increased heart rate, perspiration and increased levels of other such things, which I did. However, wasn't fully aware of what they meant until you explained it to me earlier."
"Okay, right well..." Sarah mumbled.
"I'm detecting further tension Sarah, though this time they seem of a different nature" Cameron pointed out
Sarah blushed intently this time cursing herself for doing so. Oh dear Sarah thought. Busted.
Sarah tried to cover up her previous accidental self insight.
"I have no idea what your talking about Cam, you must have busted a valve or something while we were training earlier"
She jokes trying to cover up her evident embarrassment, that Cameron just picked up on the fact, that for some unknown reason Cameron made her blush. Yeah, unknown. That's it Sarah keep telling yourself that.
Cameron was almost playing on Sarah's discomfort it seemed.
"A valve is a device that regulates the flow of substances. I don't bust valves like you suggested. You seem to be embarrassed. Your increased respiration and flow of blood to your face would all indicate this."
Sarah jumped down from the counter she was on and walked over to Cameron attempting to regain her composure.
"Look Cam, I'm fine. Your fine. We are all fine. Let's forget we even had this conversation as I'm pretty sure you got your wires crossed somewhere"
"Okay. Let's forget this conversation then. I don't wish to make you blush further" Cameron turned to walk away almost with a smug smile Sarah noted.
"Wow, wow, wow hold on a minute" Sarah yelled chasing after her. Sarah grabbed Cameron's arm and was face to face with her now.
Cameron and Sarah both seemed to be breathing heavier now.
Sarah stared at Cameron and glanced over her once.
"You should keep your voice down Sarah, you may wake up John. He usually wakes up at 2:34pm approximately to use the bathroom."
"And how is it you know that?" Sarah's curiosity getting the better of her.
"I don't sleep" Cameron offered.
Sarah acknowledged the statement that she had heard at least 100 times since meeting Cameron and then wondered if Cameron watched her sleep too.
She then frowned still effected about the day's events. Finding out Cromartie was back had done nothing to ease her worries. Even with Cameron's promise to protect them she was still uneasy. Not because she didn't trust her, far from it, but because she was worried that they would fail. Her, Cameron, John the whole resistance. Although this had been her fear since Kyle Reese had come into her life and explained it all to her. That felt like a lifetime ago. And it truly was. Sarah was different now. Harder. Tougher. Stronger. Determined to do anything she could to protect John and prevent Judgement Day. She was in effect the mother of all destiny. And that burden was weighing her down. That was until Cameron came along. A terminator who she had learned to trust. A terminator she had learned to rely on. And a terminator who she actually cared for. In effect not a terminator at all, but a comrade.
Sarah's deduction of this was just sinking in. And she was accepting it as opposed to her usual denial and aggression to an unknown situation.
Cameron then noticing how Sarah had a drained look about her,made a simple statement that changed Sarah's whole perception of the days events. One simple statement that finally made Sarah realize that Cameron was their salvation.
"There is no fate but what we make for ourselves Sarah" Cameron smiled and put her hand on Sarah's shoulder for reassurance.
Sarah knew that no words could thank Cameron enough for what she had just done.
Sarah nodded. Then smiled.
"So you don't sleep Cam?"
A beat.
"Well tonight it doesn't look like I'm going to either. So what is it that you usually do to occupy your time from now til then?"
"Various things. Work. Watch. Guard. And then some TV. You intend to stay up with me?" Cameron asks with a bewildered look playing on her face
"Yeah why not? I really don't see me getting any sleep tonight anyway"
Sarah put her hand on Cameron's shoulder and smiled. Leading her over to the sofa.
Cameron looked at Sarah intently and stored away the genuine smile she was given. This simple yet reassuring act was enough for Cameron to know that they would be okay from here on out regardless to what they came against, Skynet, Judgement Day, Terminators. It didn't matter as Sarah was strong enough to be victorious. Sarah was strong enough to be the mother of all destiny. Her Sarah, was going to be their salvation.
"So what's on at 2:30 in the morning anyway?" Sarah jokingly inquires.
"We have a choice. Would you like to choose?"
"You know what, I think I will leave a big decision like that to the expert" Sarah grins
Cameron replies "I detect sarcasm Sarah. You do that a lot. For that, we will watch re-runs of sci-fi movie's and I will inform you of their inaccuracies throughout"
Sarah groans "What have I got myself into!?"
As they both sit back on the sofa comfortably,adjusting the cushions knowing they are in for a long night Cameron comments:
"Just kidding. I think you deserve a rest now. Whatever you want to watch we will watch. Your choice" Cameron beams knowing that for once she has company at night and favorable company at that.
Sarah picks up the controller and reflects on her earlier statement "It's never easy is it?"
This time with a new perspective and new found strength. As Sarah leans back she is aware that it's all due to one thing, one terminator, one Comrade. One Person. Cameron!
Sarah wanted to take this moment and keep it forever.
A moment where she felt relaxed and safe.
It had been a long time since she had felt like that.
Oh well Sarah pondered. I suppose we do have all night to make the moment last...
And with her last mischievous thought she decided to sit back and take thing's as they came. Both of them deserved a night off Sarah deducted. And both of them were going to enjoy it.