Unapologetic

Emmett's hard at work in the motorcycle shop when she comes in. Even without being able to hear her, he instinctively knows she's there. Being aware of her presence has become almost second nature to him. It's never something he has to think about or practice; it's just there. She's just there.

His other senses are heightened and his heart starts pounding quicker and harder, as though there's a flashing neon sign lighting up his whole body: Bay alert. How long has it been since he's last seen her? The answer is simple: too long that it aches him. He doesn't want to press his luck, but he can't help be surprised to see her and wonder why she's there to see him.

She explains to him in her beautiful ASL that she is planning a Deaf day at Maui and she would like his help. She wants to screen Deafenstein to the audience and Emmett knows Deafenstein as well as he knows Bay. Of course he wants to help.

They sit at her laptop and begin to bid on reels of the film. She's so adorable he can hardly stand it. He wishes he could share a secret with her, only he's not sure how she'll take it. Unfortunately their once strong relationship is now breathtakingly fragile. One wrong move or word can shift it into dangerous territory. What he wants to tell her is inside he's beaming with pride. He's so proud of his Bay for sticking with Carlton and for taking it upon herself to plan a Deaf day. He almost wishes he could go back to his mom and say "See? This is why we'll be the fifteen percent who makes it," but he can't, because they aren't together. But he hasn't given up hope.

When they win the bid, her excitement is contagious. He can't help himself. He hugs her, tightly, and she reciprocates hugging him back, but his sense detects that there's something off in the way she hugs him back. It's instinctual. Somehow he just knows. She's holding back. However, despite the small hints of tension and lingering doubt, it's been so much fun working with Bay. And then in his happiness, his regrets come flashing back, replaying over and over again; in black and white and in slow motion. There's never any static to block out what he did. To be honest, he's glad. He doesn't deserve to forget. He can't forget. He needs to remember so that when the day comes that Bay gives him another chance, he will never ever be so stupid or take her for granted. For now, he simply enjoys being with her, any chance he gets.

That's probably why he was annoyed when they opened the film canister and it revealed Spankenstein instead of Deafenstein. Although he would be remiss in saying it wasn't even a little bit amusing, that is not the point. He had to go back and get his DVD, wasting precious moments of time that could have been spent with Bay. It's ridiculous how in love with this girl he is. When he arrives at Maui the second time, only an hour or two has passed and yet, she looks even more beautiful. How is that humanly possible? She opens the DVD case and on top of Deafenstein is Dawn of the Deaf. His palms get really sweaty. How would she react to the having the birthday present she organized for him a day after he cheated on her looking her straight in the face? He's not sure what to think when she says she wants to watch it as she has never gotten to see the whole thing through.

But he doesn't want to over-analyze or over-think it. He just wants to sit next to her and feel her presence. And so they watch it. Even when they are only watching a movie together, their chemistry is palpable; their conversation flowing naturally. It's so easy. And then it stops; he knows it's coming, the kiss scene. He wants to protect both of them from this moment. He hasn't watched this in a while, though he had to admit right after their breakup it was a more frequent activity. As hard as he tries to stop the inevitable, he can't. Bay wants to let it play. And so together they appear onscreen, the zombie awakened and brought back to life by his true love's kiss. It is the perfect metaphor for their relationship. Emmett wasn't dead, and yet, he wasn't sure he could ever be quite whole again without her. And much like his zombiefied self, all it would take is a kiss from Bay.

He tries to study her reaction. She seems uncomfortable. Does it mean something? Does it mean anything? He swears he sees a bit of longing and desire radiating off of her. He just wants to shut the damn laptop off and take her hand in his and finally hash this all out. Tell her he wants her and only her, again. But he doesn't get the chance.

Ty is back and he and Bay are definitely together. It hurts. And he can't deny that in some way, he forced this to happen. After all, he told Bay callously that he wouldn't wait. He called her out on her naivety to Noah's feelings for Daphne, rubbing it in that Noah was obviously not into Bay.

"I'm not going to wait around for someone who can't figure out that the guy she's with isn't even into her."

This was his deserved fate.

Ty is into Bay, very much. But a comforting prospect emerges: he feels threatened by Emmett. Emmett can tell, even though Ty's only said, "How's it going?" because he says it with clenched teeth and a hard jaw.

He doesn't have a lot of time to ponder why he feels good about Ty's jealousy (although he does feel like he has an upper hand with Ty witnessing the passion between he and Bay in that kiss) because Ty storms out in a huff and Bay chases after him. He can see through the window of the office that he's pissed at her. He feels bad for Bay and even a little bit for Ty. He's been there, oh how he has been there. Hell, he's still there. But here's the rub: he may feel badly for Ty, but he's not sorry. He'll never be sorry.

He knows there's a lot of things in life he should and will apologize for. Simone above all else; however, loving Bay Kennish? For that he remains unapologetic. Loving her is the one thing that makes sense to him or rather the only thing that makes sense for him. So, yes. He is unrepentant, remorseless, and any other word that describes how he feels about her.

If loving her is the most absolute wrong decision he could make, well, then, he never wants to be right.

No matter what he does, it always comes back to Bay. She'll be his compass guiding him back to the calm serenity when life leads him astray and the little voice inside his head pushing him to go a little faster and take some risks when he's becoming too complacent.

Screw apologies.

He loves her right now, tomorrow, the next day, forever.

Sometimes being unapologetic is awesome.