Silent Hill 3: The Fourth Wall, or Heather's Worst Day Ever

by gbstroud

Poor Heather just wants to finish her game with a Normal ending, but nothing is going right. Missing monsters, incorrect scripts, and technical issues continue to plague her. On top of that, her player keeps leaving her unpaused. Will the torment ever end?

1. Chapter 1: The Mall

Silent Hill 3: The Fourth Wall, or Heather's Worst Day Ever

Chapter 1: The Mall

I sat up groggily from the table and wiped the drool off of my face.

"What a nightmare."

Thank God, an Extra New Game... if I have to get splattered by that roller coaster one more time...

My head turned to squint over at the glowing window blinds, and then I rose up out of my seat. My hand automatically reached up and tucked away the Aglaophotis locket, as I'd done the last six million times. I then left the Happy Burger without paying. No one gave a crap, same as it ever was. I ignored the looping audio of bustling people and cars outside as I went for the sliding glass doors. I loaded out into the bright Mall area and made a sharp left, then walked confidently over to the payphones so Douglas could sneak up on me.

"Dad. It's m—"

What the hell?

I thought I heard some kind of weird trip-hop music thumping through the phone speaker. I lowered the receiver and stared down at it.

"Dad...?"

"Yeah. Oh, uhh... hold... ...can you... ...it down? ...'s my daughter."

The noise went down only slightly.

"Dad, this isn't in the script," I said, keeping my voice hushed as Douglas approached.

"I know, it's just… ...aliens. ...they going... ...the Reven... ending this run?" He didn't sound very alienish to me, and I could barely understand what he was saying.

"No, I don't think so," I whispered. "And even if they were, you're supposed to be having tea at the table. Is James there?"

"Haven't seen... ...but he usually... ...up when you're... ...op Center. Now, abou... that ending..."

"I'm feeling like they might go Possessed on this one," I said.

"Noooo," came an exasperated reply, and then he finally began to speak clearly. "Just try to go Normal. We're already acting so strange they probably think their game's broken. Just stick to Normal and we'll see what happens."

He sounds so weird without his alien voice.

I guess I was starting to feel paranoid.

"Okay, I'll try... Promise you'll be dead when I get home?"

"No problem," he answered hurriedly. "Let me clear these aliens out and we'll be in business. See you then!"

I frowned a little, and leaned in closer to the partition. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Am I? Oh, right... blah blah, don't talk to strangers, see you in a few." The line fell quiet with an abrupt click.

"Okay, I will... I love you too, Dad," I told the dead phone, if only to keep the flow going. I quickly hung it back up and turned to face Douglas with a shrug.

"That was weird..." he said, his brow slightly furrowed. "What took so long?"

"I dunno," I replied. "Is this some kind of Director's Cut?"

"Whoops, hang on." He loosened his tie and started to unbutton his shirt in front of me.

"Eww! What the hell are you doing!?"

"The player put the code in," he answered. "Just a sec."

I shuddered and left him there, and started in the direction of the restrooms, but I'd missed all of my cues and had been seriously thrown off. To make matters worse, the soundtrack was skipping like a broken record.

This is all going to hell.

I spun around and called out to him, "Are you still following me? Do I have to scream?"

"I haven't said any of my lines yet!" he yelled back, still fumbling with his belt. "Heather! I need to speak with you!"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not interested." I went ahead and pushed open the door to the ladies' room.

Inside, I was quick-turned to check the bathroom door five times through vigorous button mashing. That weird old detective is out there, so I'm not leaving, I thought repetitiously, before spinning back around. I walked forward and side-stepped to face the mirrors. Then I stood there.

For two. Damn. Hours.

The player hadn't hit the pause button.

The broken music skipped on. I stood and cycled through my frustrated idle animation about a hundred times, all the while praying for a power outage... or for their console to catch on fire.

Please move me.

Please move me.

PLEASE move me...

After what seemed like an eternity, the door creaked open. Claudia peeked her head in. "What gives?" she mouthed silently, pointing to her watch—which I'd never noticed before.

I shrugged and gave up on the player; I could move myself now. "All I know is there's something really screwy going on with this game... and I don't like it," I said, shifting back and forth on my tired feet.

She stepped in and rested her back against the closed door. "I was starting to get worried... If they're going to walk away like that they're supposed to press pause. Maybe they're reading the wiki?"

"They're probably setting up to record the game or something. Everything was so off earlier... and this music, wow."

She nodded thoughtfully. "What do you suppose is happening?"

I crossed my arms and sighed. "No idea... I'd ask my dad if anything like this ever happened in his old game, but you're going to kill him. I don't think they're going for the Revenge ending. Hell, I don't even think the Beam's been unlocked yet. My head isn't glowing all weird-like." I frowned into the bathroom mirror one more time, just to be sure.

"Maybe I should hold off for a minute so you can talk to him," she replied. I stared dumbfounded while she fished through her pockets and lit up a cigarette.

I blinked. "Uhh... nah... don't. He said we should just stick to the plan and see what happens." I had a sudden urge to get going, and ran around the room in circles a few times.

"Player's back."

"Oh good," she said, flicking away her cancer stick and crushing it beneath her bare foot. "See you in a little while." She pulled open the door and made a swift exit.

Finally.

I squeezed through the bathroom window and dropped down into the back alley. I ran up to the pile of junk nearby and was made to investigate it. The road is blocked with empty boxes and stuff. I can't get through. I turned around and saw the white van blocking the other way out as usual. The player (clearly easily distracted) opened up the menu and ran through my unlocked costumes. They selected the Transform Wand to change me into Princess Heart. I completed the pink sparkly animation, and was relieved to find that it had fixed the torturous skipping soundtrack. I sprinted over to the door up ahead. Once in the building, they started switching out my outfits again. I sighed and glanced down at the rapid costume changes. After a few minutes they set me back to the default clothing choice. I sat alone in the hall for a while unpaused, but they soon returned and we continued.

I turned left at first, but they must have remembered the game from last time. I made the correct right turn and passed through the door at the end of the hallway. Things seemed to be returning back to normal. The Mall floor was dirty, and I heard the creepy muffled sound effects coming from somewhere overhead. I ran down to the half-open shutter and ducked under it to get into the clothing store.

I loaded in and waited.

I waited some more.

Nothing was happening.

"What now..." I groaned and looked around. The Closer was missing. I crouched down and scooped the handgun up off of the floor, and then turned to Angela's dead character model lying a few feet away—unusually clean without her blood puddle and splatters. "How can you be dead if there's no monster?" I demanded.

She opened one eye and turned her head towards me.

"Oh... I forgot. They didn't give you a voice, did they?"

The model shook her head and moved it back into position.

Strange.

"Sorry to bother you," I said, and scooted behind the counter to get to the other door.

Gah, you forgot the ammo over there! I turned my head to gaze at it longingly, but the player went for the next hallway's door. I ran forward and took a left around the corner to pick up the Central Square Shopping Center map from the wall, then stayed frozen on the map view screen for at least five more minutes.

I raised my arm and stared at my pixely watch, growing impatient again.

Finally, I ran back and opened up the previously locked door and loaded out into the useless looping hallway. At least the Double Heads had bothered to show up, because two of them were patrolling the halls. The player made me fire several shots towards them, but their aim was terrible. I emptied my gun into the wall, then ran panicked down the hallway to the next door.

I found myself back in the 'dirty floor' part of the Mall. Well, a lot of good that did, I thought, as I ran up and once again crouched to get under the partly open shutter. The player noticed the boxes of ammo this time, and I stuck them into my inventory, silently thanking God that I probably wouldn't have to resort to the knife. I went through the door behind the counter, took a left turn to the Exit door, and climbed up the staircase.

We passed through the next hallway, checking every broken locked door on the way. The player eventually found the room with the Double Head chowing down on one of the permanent monster baits. Instead of killing it, they quick-turned me and left immediately. At least we were saving some bullets.

I made it into the room with the key hidden under the crates. I stared off into space while the player saved their game.

Great... so they're actually gonna keep it...

They skipped past picking up any of the items that were sitting on the shelf nearby, and exited through the door again. Back out in the hall, I examined and picked up the beam saber disguised as a door handle, then jogged up to the No Smoking door. Through there and out on the second floor platform I sprinted past three Closers rather than the usual two.

Waitaminute...

I turned around on my own for a double take, and it only confirmed my suspicions. The Closer meandering around on the left side of the platform looked oddly familiar. "What the hell!" I yelled at the thing. "Why weren't you in the clothing store? Angela's character model was alone in there!"

The Closer shrugged its huge beefy arms, incapable of speaking for itself.

I shot it a dark look before the player forced me back towards Helen's Bakery. I made a dash for the inside and slammed the door shut, leaving the two other Closers in the dust.

I must have been seeing things.

"V...Vincent?!"

There he was, sitting up on the counter next to the cash register. I rubbed my eyes and looked again.

"Hiya, Heather," he said, waving his right hand. The other was holding on to a half-eaten donut. "What took you so long?"

"Do you know where you are?" I demanded. I stepped up and grabbed his arm, dragging him down off of the counter. "This is the Mall, not the Hilltop Center! And move it, you're sitting on my flamethrower."

He straightened up and dusted some powdered sugar off of the front of his vest. "I know that, jeez," he said. "I just felt like doing a little exploring today... is that so wrong?" He had an unnerving sneer on his face, but it was perfectly in-character, so it fit him well. "Anyway... I brought you something."

"What," I sighed, checking down and around the counter for the missing flamethrower. The flyer on top read Crispy toasted Dead, but the item had mysteriously vanished.

"Did you take my unlockable weapon?"

"Noooo," he answered, and his tone had gone all whiny, "don't you wanna know what I have for you?"

"What is it," I grumbled, turning around.

"It's s-something r-r-really good," he replied, imitating Jasper Gein from Silent Hill 4: The Room.

"Stop it," I snapped. "You and Jasper don't have the same voice actor. You didn't even get the stutter right."

"Fine, whatever. Just take this." He grabbed my wrist and pressed a smooth, black flat-shaped object into my hand.

"What is this..." I asked, turning it in my fingers, "...a smartphone!?"

"Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Vincent, have you lost your mind!" I cried. "Put this away! Take it out of the game!"

"But why?" He held up a second phone. "Look, I'm texting your old man as we speak. We were playing games on them earlier and he got me a couple of times." He grinned and pushed up his glasses. "He's a pretty sneaky guy you know, and not half as dumb as he looks!"

"Shut your mouth." He was making me angry, and he should have known better.

I laid the phone down on the counter and backed away, wringing my hands. "These things are gonna screw up the game. We're in the wrong time period... they haven't even been invented yet!"

He picked it back up and slid it into my lower right vest pocket. "Just take it... what's the worst that could happen? I can even let you know of anything else weird that's going on. Just keep it on you... you don't even have to use it if you don't want to."

"Where did you even get it from? How can it have pixels and polygons? Who drew the art?"

He walked in a slow circle with his usual theatrics, moving his hands as he talked. "Something bizarre is going on. I can't wait to see where we go from here. Exciting, isn't it?"

"Doesn't this get to you at all? I feel like I'm going crazy! And listen, I'm getting my lines out of order and wrong! Jesus!" I marched over and snatched up the tongs, and pointed them at him as I turned back around. "Don't let me catch you skulking around the Mall ever again. I'll see you at the Hilltop Center, alright? Behave yourself." I started for the door.

He shrugged his arms at me, but he was still grinning. "Whatever you say, Heather. You're the boss."

Was that a cutscene? I wondered, as I loaded out of the Bakery. Then I ran the long way around the platform until the player found the appropriate door. I continued back down the corridor, checking every broken locked doorknob on the way (again), until finally making it back into the key room.

The player tried to use the tongs, found that I wasn't close enough, and scooted me up until I was mashed against the wooden pallet. I finally got down on my hands and knees and retrieved the key. I rushed back out the door, swerving past the Numb Bodies strutting around just outside. I ran through the door at the end of the hall and made a beeline for My Bestsellers to unlock it.

The black screen cleared and I froze. Unbelievably loud music was blaring from some sort of invisible speaker system.

"BLUE SKY TO FOREVER! THE GREEN GRASS BLOWS IN THA WINNND, DAAANNNCIN'!"

I clamped both hands over my ears involuntarily. It was the intro song, and it was way, way too loud. I felt the player leave me again; probably to go mute their TV.

How are we gonna do the Shakespeare puzzle with all this damn racket?

I crouched down and crawled along the floor, as if it would help me escape the noise somehow. I picked up the Shakespeare Anthologies along the way, and stood up in front of the bookshelf.

"SO NOW WHAT SHOULD I DO? I'M STRUNG OUT, ADDICTED TA YOU!"

My ears had had more than enough of Mary Elizabeth's aural assault, and I found myself pulling open the menu. The background music option was still there, but the slide wasn't working properly. I had a choice between ear piercingly loud or off. I selected the latter. That's a shame, 'cause I really like Akira's music at a decent volume, I thought, but I was glad to be able to hear myself think again.

The smartphone beeped in my pocket. I plucked it out and slid my thumb over the screen to unlock it. The contacts list had already been set up, and I scrolled through the names. Most of the characters in Silent Hill 3 were listed there, as well as several names from the other games in the series. Thankfully, nothing outside of Team Silent's realm.

It was Vincent texting me:

What was all that noise in there? Having a party w/out me?

I rolled my eyes and hit the side button to turn off the screen. For all I knew, the phone might have been the cause of it. Perhaps the god was manifesting its displeasure. I shoved the thing back down into my pocket, suddenly remembering how Shattered Memories had featured a smartphone.

This is pure blasphemy.

The player returned and made me arrange the Anthologies on the shelf to their satisfaction. I assumed that they probably weren't the brightest crayon in the box, because the Riddle Mode had been set on Easy. I prayed it would keep the game as short as possible while I moved over to the keypad to the right of the door.

I entered the number code and waited.

Nada.

I entered it again, in case one of the numbers hadn't taken.

Zip.

The player made me run back to the shelf to check the numbers again, though I was pretty sure we'd punched them in correctly.

I stood there alone for about twenty minutes. They'd gone AWOL again.

I ran myself back over to the door and mashed the code into the keypad three times. Dammit! I pounded hard on the door and gave it several solid kicks. "Open the hell up! I do not need this right now!"

I was huffing and puffing as I slid down into a sit against the door. I grumbled and pulled out the phone reluctantly, then started to look through the list of names again.

Claudia's just on the other side. Maybe she can unlock it for me...

I selected Claudia Wolf and pressed the call button. It rang one and a half times before being picked up—surprisingly fast.

"I am Claudia," said a voice on the other end.

"Yeah, I know that already. Listen, I'm on the other side of the door and the code's glitched out or something. Can you just walk forward twenty feet or so and unlock it?"

"Oh," she said. "Umm... hold, please."

There was a pause.

"Alessa?"

"Yeah, still here. Did you get it?"

"I don't think it works that way," she said, sounding a bit worried.

"Whaddaya mean? Just flip the lock so we can get this stupid cutscene over with."

"I don't see a lock from this side."

"Damn. How do puzzle doors work anyway?"

"I'm not really sure... Nothing like this has ever happened before."

"Oh, hold on I just thought of something. I'll call you back if it doesn't work, okay?" I hit the hangup button and ran back out into the open Mall area.

"Closer...?"

The same one as before shambled up to me and stood there, swaying slightly. I grabbed it by its large meaty arm thing and guided it through the entrance to the book store. I pointed over to the keypad door. "Can you like, punch that door open for me? You look strong enough..." I probably should have warned Claudia to move back from the door a bit, but rash decisions were part of my character design, so I just hoped for the best.

The Closer made its way past the shelves, swinging its arms as it moved. It stopped behind the counter, reeled back, and SMASHED! the door open in one swift motion, partially ripping it off of its hinges. I walked up to check out the damage, amazed and relieved that it had actually worked.

Claudia was thankfully unhurt, and she pulled the door aside as she peeked into the room. "Wow! That did it," she said, looking pleased.

"Thanks, Closer. You're the man thing!" I went to high-five it, but it had already strolled away. I went to join Claudia in the elevator hallway.

"I can't believe we haven't even gotten to the Nightmare Mall yet," I said, shaking my head.

Claudia jogged back halfway up the corridor, got into position, and cleared her throat. "They've come to witness the begin—"

"Wait, wait," I interrupted. "My player's not back yet."

I started to space out while we stood there for another awkward few minutes. When I looked over at her, I saw that she was leaning back against the bulletin board off to the side. She had her phone out again, and was messing around on it.

"Did you get that from Vincent?" I asked.

"Mhm," she responded absently. "You know, I can't believe how useful these things are. Maybe Silent Hill games need more technology..."

I stared at her, incredulous. "What are you saying?"

"Well, it's like... everything we have is so retro. It's kind of sad."

I buried my face into my hand and turned away. "I can't believe you of all people would say that... Silent Hill games have a very specific style. Grimy and old. Do you know how hard it is to make textures and items look like that? It's purely artistic." I sighed. "And you're a cult member. Your church is full of candles and stuff... and no TVs."

"That's true, but... there's a stereo in there somewhere."

"I thought that was Vincent's. He's different." I started to pace back and forth down a short length of the hall impatiently.

"Is your player ever coming back?" she asked, without looking away from the screen.

"I dunno, maybe we should just continue without them. This game needs to end already so things can get back to normal."

She tucked the phone back into her pocket and straightened her posture, then moved back into place. "They've come to witness the Beginning. The rebirth of Paradise, unspoiled by mankind."

I took a few steps closer. "What are you talking ab—hey... wait a second. Did you just say 'unspoiled'?"

"Yes. Why?"

"It's 'despoiled' not 'unspoiled'. Where are you getting 'unspoiled' from?"

"The script."

"No! Let me look it up to show you. And no, I'm not saying that having tech in the game is better. We'd be fine if everything hadn't gone all screwed up like this."

I pulled out the phone once again to run a search, but my Google-fu was pretty rusty. I opened up one of the first links, but all I found was some weird forum full of people arguing heatedly back and forth. I got out of there quick, and finally found something worth looking at.

"'Unspoiled' is HD Collection only," I told her.

"Oh. I thought this was the HD Collection..."

"No way, because you sound like Donna Burke, and I sound like I could actually be seventeen," I replied. "So it's 'despoiled' not 'unspoiled', okay?"

"I suppose so." She was starting to look bored, not that I could really blame her.

"Uh-huh. Now we've already wasted enough time on this and you should probably go kill my dad before he gets fed up and wanders back to his old game or something."

She let out a small sigh and looked back over her shoulder. "All right then. I'll go pick up the Missionary."

"Okay."

"Good luck with everything," she said, as she turned and started to make her way up to the secret exit door.

"Yeah, catch you later," I called after her, still feeling a bit irritated.

HD Collection, are you for real...? I shuddered at the thought as I jogged up the hallway and hopped into the elevator. I wondered why Claudia would need to read the script again, seeing how we'd gone through it millions of times.

The elevator doors slid shut behind me, and I started to feel a little silly just before the next cutscene, knowing no one would be watching it. I folded my arms and rested back into the corner.

I must have been standing in a once in a lifetime unlucky position, because the next thing I knew, the radio came crashing down from the ceiling and thwacked me over the head.

I remember falling to my knees and holding the back of my head, and then everything went dark.

...