Aayvee: and so, the hiatus ends. And I come back with...this? Yeah, I know. It was a random Idea, And I wanted to get it down before inspiration left me. See what happens on Ike's adventure out of Tellius. Not meant to be taken seriously. Bonus Points If you guess what's going on before paragraph 14...
Disclaimer: aayvee doesn't own the rights to fire emblem, yo! Fo-shizzle
Battlefield
Ike opened his eyes and found himself in a place quite different than the one he had fallen asleep too. Only recently, it seemed to him, he had set off from the land of Tellius, where he had lived most of his life, to try to find any new places and things. By the looks of the current setting, one would say he had succeeded.
"I'm on…land. Wasn't… I Sailing?
He said this in the realization that his sailboat, which he had set off on his journey in,
was nowhere to be found. Naturally, this was a strange occurrence, as sailboats are very large and not easily lost. He got up, with a groan, and looked around. He saw nothing.
He decided that the best thing to do would be to survey the area, to maybe get a clue as to how he got here. From the looks of it, he was on some sort of landmass that was covered in stone ruins. It all seemed normal so far. It was then that he noticed the three floating platforms directly above him! 00
"Whoa! We don't have those in Tellius! "
He spent a few minutes trying to find out how this feat was achieved. Eventually he resigned himself to the fact that the laws of physics must be different in this world.
"as soon as I find any locals, I'm going to have to ask about that…"
He started walking along the stone path, searching for any signs of civilization. As he approached the edge of the area he was on, and he came to another shocking realization: the platform was floating in the air too! o0
His mind was boggling beyond all recognition (as anyone's would), so he sat down behind one of the pillars to try to figure this out.
"Am I… dead?" He thought, registering that this was very likely what the afterlife could look like.
However, he didn't have any time for such existential questions, as a large dragon (!) appeared out of nowhere and released a Large jet of flame his way. He quickly dodged, ducking behind one of the pillars just in the knick of time.
"Hey, there are Laguz here!" he exclaimed, happy that something similar to things in Tellius despite the fact that it had just tried to kill him.
A man wearing a dark blue jumpsuit and light body armor appeared out of nowhere and, not saying anything save for a battle cry, began fighting the creature. Ike watched this from behind his cover, not sure of what to do.
"I'm not sure what a Laguz is, my friend, but that isn't one of them." Said a gruff voice to his right.
Ike quickly turned realizing that there was someone else hiding behind the pillar as well. He was a rather ragged looking man, wearing green camouflage and a distinctive blue headband.
"You new here?" he said.
Ike simply nodded in response.
"The name's Snake, and this is the battlefield, so Keep your wits close. You have any experience in battle?"
"Yes. I am Ike leader of the greil mercenaries, hailing from the land for Tellius. I only say that because this does not seem to be the same place." Ike replied, looking around. "what about You?"
"Hehehe, well your right, this isn't Tellius. It isn't where I come from either: I am former agent of the United States government. I've seen just about everything there is to see on the battlefield."
"Uh-huh" said Ike, incredulous. "Have you ever seen a guy with a 20 foot sword riding a dragon?"
"Quiet!" he yelled out, as a blast of flame shot their way. Snake pushed the both of them down just in time.
"Uhh, no, actually." He said afterward.
"Hehehe…" he laughed. "Achem…(clears throat) so, what exactly is this place?
"Well, uhhh…I don't really know myself. We fight here. That's all there is too it."
There was a pause between them, as sounds of the battle going on behind them drifted over the wall. They peered over it to see how things were going.
"So, which one of those two is on our side?" Ike whispered to Snake.
"That guy" he said, pointing to the man in the jumpsuit.
"Show me ya moves!" the man said, just before he was hit from behind by a flying rock and sent flying.
"DAMN! Well, he isn't anymore..." snake said, and paused to think of a solution.
"I'm going to rush him. Stand back!"
"No". Ike said. "I can help, I've taken on dragons before. Besides, we'll do better if we stick together."
"Rah… fine then. Let's move!"
They both burst out into the open at the same time. Ike charismatically unsheathed his sword while snake whipped out a grenade and pulled the pin. The Charizard turned around to face them.
"Charizard, use flamethrower attack!" said a kid wearing a red hat and holding what looked like a multicolored ball
"That child over there is controlling it. SHEILD!!"
At the trainer's command, the dragon creature spit out a giant ball of fire towards them. Snake spontaneously produced a red field of protective energy around himself. Ike had no idea how this happened, so it was he took the full force of the blast. Strangely, he seemed to feel no pain (although he did feel a slight bit lighter…)
"Why didn't you block that!?" Snake said, after the flames stopped.
"Uh… I can't block fire with a sword?" Ike replied.
"Damn!" snake shouted to no-one in particular. "He's CPU controlled!!
Ike didn't know what this meant either, but he disregarded it, as the battle was at hand. The strangely dressed child in the background was indeed controlling the creature, but for some reason Ike was unable to attack him.
Snake wound up and threw his grenade at the pokemon, knocking it down.
"Now's our chance! He yelled out, charging forward. He then ran up, grabbed the creature by the neck, and threw it high into the air.
"Wow… that dude is strong!"
It was his turn. As the pokemon flew down, Ike caught it in the air with an upward slash to finish it off. Instead of slicing it open, as he expected, his slashes seemed to instead send it flying off the platform, where it exploded once it got slightly out of eye range. This seemed to take care of the weird kid too, who disappeared a few seconds after the blast.
"Whew, nice one." They high-fived each other. "What did you say your name was?
"Ike."
"Nice name… Now, what were we talking about?"
"You were just about to tell me about your career?"
"Heh, well then, let me tell you about me…"
They then proceeded to have a long and drawn out conversation about each other's lives, about war and about personal experiences. It was very sentimental, and not really suited to the random nature of this story, so the details will be left out. They continued this for a while; until a strange, round object floating around behind them caught Ike's notice.
"And then these ravens came and ate the guy…"
"Uh-huh interesting …drools… Hey, what's that?" he said, pointing to the flying Orb.
"Oh, that? That's just a Smash-Ball…. A SMASH BALL!! GET IT, QUICK!!
He then spontaneously burst into a sprint in the direction of this "Smash-Ball". But suddenly, a somewhat effeminate looking teenager wielding a short-sword and sporting a gold tiara busted out of nowhere and grabbed it first.
"Yeayas!" he cheered. (1.)
"NOOOOOOOO!!" Snake yelled, turning around and running in the other direction.
But it was too late, as it turned out, as this new guy thrusted his sword to the sky in a sort of victory pose, and proceeded to totally 0wn Snake with an extremely fast slashing attack that sent him flying (and shrieking) off the platform. Snake didn't blow up, like the dragon, but he did seem to violently bounce of off an invisible wall in front of them, after which he fell to his doom below.
"Critical Hit!" the swordsman yelled, thrusting his hand triumphantly in the air. He turned to Ike.
Their eyes locked, like in those western movies where the two guys are about to have a gunfight.
"So… you're a swordsman too, eh? Ike says
"You monster, you killed my only connection to this strange world…" he paused for a bit of emotional tension. "YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN!!"
The man smiled. "You may be next-gen, whelp, but I'll show you an ass kicking like you've never seen! HAVE AT YOU!!"
Ike didn't know what "next-Gen" meant either, but he knew fighting words when he heard them. Both of the swordsmen charged in a mad frenzy equivalent to that of two wolverines fighting over a Philly Cheese-Steak. Both of them were quite equally matched. Ike would hit Marth with an Aether (which he noticed had gotten considerably weaker) to the chin, but Marth would come right back with a powerful stab to the spleen. Neither of them could find an opening, but the great weight of Ragnell was beginning to wear Ike down…
Finally, the two juggernauts cornered each other on the top platform. Marth began to charge up his attack, and Ike saw his opportunity. As soon as the dude released the attack, Ike used a guard move and sent it right back at him!
This turned out to be of small consolation, as Ike found himself striking at open air.
"Huh? Where did he go?"
As soon as the dude disappeared, a sword appeared through the bottom of the platform and struck him in the foot. Normally this would have been a small injury for him, but this time he felt an immense pain and found himself zooming very fast away from the arena.
Did he just… Aghh… fall through the floor? He thought, pondering how this could be possible without breaking the floor itself.
"That's why I'm tier one!!" was the last thing he heard before he disappeared in a spark of light… (2.)
Well, there you have it. Aayvee wastes all his spring break writing time on this garbage. In truth, I was actually getting my butt in gear and gave my self a writing schedule (30 minutes a day), but then I was hit by a bad case of Carpal-tunnel. Yeah, I now have an exuse. luckily I finished this already, so part 2 will be up by tommorrow. ) ;)
1.) This is not a typo (though it definitely isn't a word either). It is meant to be pronounced the same as "yes", but with a weird accent. I've been getting knocked for my grammar recently, so I thought I should let you guys know that, just to be safe.
2.) He is tier one, isn't he?