I flip the page of the random teen drama novel I found in my closet. I'm stretched out on the couch, reading. But to be honest, I've been reading for a good hour, and I don't even know what is happening in the story. I picked the most mindless, shallow book I owned, hoping to distract myself. It isn't working. I've reread the same few pages over and over, not taking in a single word. At this point I'm seriously considering taking a glance at the cover, because I can't even remember the title of the book.
I find myself wishing desperately that Rachel was home. She could even bring Paul along for all I cared, and that is saying something.
Rachel came home from college for the first time in years earlier this summer. At first, it was a little inconvenient, because she wasn't supposed to know about the werewolf pack running around La Push. But two days after getting here, she ran into Paul on the beach and the master of grouchiness imprinted. Technically, it solved two problems- Rachel's ignorance and Paul's attitude problem. Unfortunately, it created a new problem. While his mood has definitely improved, we could all use a tad less Paul in our lives. But Rachel can't seem to get enough. Gag. I really shouldn't judge, being the object of a werewolf's fixation as well, but Seth is not nearly as annoying as his wolf brother.
I flip another page, still not retaining anything. I'm eternally grateful that Rachel came home this summer, otherwise I'd have spent many more afternoons like this. Even so, I can't have company all the time, what with my life revolving around a pack of werewolves. Rachel will only spend time with me when Paul's running, my Dad refuses to be here when Paul is, Seth can only be with me when he's off, Quil will stop by a couple times a week, unless Claire's around, and Embry's grounded until he dies…
Mercifully, the door opens, sparing me from pretending to read. I jump up, eager to see anyone, even if it's Paul.
"Hey, Sarah!" Seth calls, smiling as usual. His eyes light up as he sees me, and I smile back as I jump off the couch.
"Hello," I say as I run up for my scorching hug. I'm so used to them now that a hug from a non-werewolf feels cold.
Seth smiles down to me. He finally got taller than me when he became a werewolf, but over the summer he's increasingly gained altitude, and actually has to look down to talk to me. But that's not the only different thing about my longtime best friend today.
"What's that?" I ask, pointing to a decent-sized, gray ball of fluff on his shoulder.
Seth looks to his right and grins proudly. "Oh, this is my pet chinchilla!" he raises his shoulder to show the thing off.
"Since when do you have a chinchilla?" I demand.
"Last night!" he replies cheerfully. "You know I've always wanted a pet, and I finally got one!" he pets the fluff-ball tenderly with two fingers.
"Interesting. How did this happen exactly?" I am still in a state of disbelief.
"Well I was going to get a dog, okay? So I googled it, and somehow a chinchilla picture got mixed in with the dog pictures," he laughs like it's the funniest thing ever, and I can't help smiling in spite of myself.
Once he recovers, he continues, "So I click on it, and it leads me to this website for a chinchilla rescue home just a few miles from here! So last night, after I ran patrol, I ran up to the place and got this little guy," he scratches behind the creature's tiny ears.
"How did you bring it back?" I ask.
"I carried his cage in my mouth and ran home," he replies, still stroking his new pet.
"And it didn't freak out being that close to a wolf's mouth?" I ask incredulously.
"Nope. I think he actually enjoyed it, didn't you?" he says to the rodent. Then he turns to me and adds. "See, I think we have a very deep bond- probably because we're both animals. We get each other."
It's a good thing I established Seth's insanity years ago, because otherwise I would waste my breath telling him how crazy he is. Instead, I just shake my head.
"Seth, it's a rodent," I moan. I typically don't mind furry little creatures, but I prefer them behind the glass in a pet store, or in a cage. Not on my boyfriend's shoulder.
He gasps in mock horror. "He is not a rodent! He is actually the Japanese equivalent of a squirrel!" he insists.
"Which is still a rodent," I remind him.
"No, rodents eat with their faces. Sawgue uses his hands!"
I raise an eyebrow. "Sawgue?"
"I wanted him to embrace his ethnic heritage," Seth says seriously. "Although, come to think of it, 'Sawgue' might be Chinese, not Japanese," he trails off.
I roll my eyes. "Seth, using his hands to eat does not stop Sawgue from being classified as a rodent! It just makes him," I pause for a moment. "A classy rodent?"
Seth opens his mouth for a retort, but closes it as he starts cracking up. His laugh is infectious and I find myself laughing as well. The door opens again and we struggle to regain control of ourselves. I'm incredibly used to scantily clad teenage boys strutting into my house without so much as a knock, so I'm not at all surprised to see Sam walk in.
"Hey, Chief! How's it going?" A few giggles slip out with my greeting, but the utterly calm face of the Alpha wolf never wavers.
"Fine, you?" he replies politely.
"Well I'm okay right now," I admit. Sam nods grimly, knowing perfectly well what I mean. Then he turns to Seth.
"I hate to interrupt, but I needed to sort a few things out," he begins, all business.
"Sure thing," Seth nods eagerly.
"Leah told me-" he begins, but breaks off, staring at Seth's shoulder. "What's that?"
"Oh, this is my new chinchilla, Sawgue!" Seth announces proudly.
Sam stares at Sawgue for a moment, deciding how best to react. Finally he just decides not to comment and continues, "Leah told me you were going to the Cullens' wedding tomorrow?"
"Yeah, Edward invited me," Seth replies with a small smile. Sam, however, frowns slightly. He and the rest of the pack do not approve of Seth's friendship with the bloodsucker, but Sam isn't willing to go far enough to prevent it. While he certainly accepts the Cullens as allies, he does not see them as friends. "Is that a problem?" Seth challenges jovially.
"Of course not," Sam lies. "I was just trying to arrange for a few of us to be stationed close to the wedding, in addition to the regular patrol."
Seth frowns. "Is that necessary?"
"With all those people, plus an additional coven of vampires, I'd have to say it is," Sam says seriously.
"Yeah, but their cousins are vegetarians, too, so there shouldn't be a problem," Seth insists, using the Cullens' inside joke name for their dietary habits.
"It's just a precaution, Seth," Sam replies, his tone slightly irritated.
"Yeah, but still-"
Sam cuts him off with a stern warning stare. Seth backs down, frowning. His shoulders slump forward like a submissive dog, but there is a hint of defiant discontent in his features. Still, he replies with an obedient, "Whatever you want, Sam." It bothers me to see Seth give in to Sam so easily, but when the options are to give in willingly, or be forced to obey- yeah, it's still a no-win situation.
Sam, however, seems appeased. "Good," he nods, then turns to me. "Sorry for barging in, but I wanted to get all my wolves in a row," he grins at his cleverness. I grin in reply, mostly because I'm just as afraid of Sam as Seth is, and the Alpha has been in a dangerous mood lately.
"No problem," I promise, as Sam waves in farewell. Once the door closes, I turn to Seth again. He is still staring at the door, absentmindedly petting his new gerbil.
"How is he?" I blurt out. It's a question I promised myself I wouldn't ask, but was brought to the forefront of my mind by Sam's reluctance to be disobeyed lately. It's a question I didn't want to ask , because I already know the answer, but it's a question I need to have answered anyway.
Seth is still out of it. "Who?"
"Jake," I reply. The name is like razorblades on my throat, and causes my stomach to contract. My vision swims and my hands start to shake. My heart starts pounding and my lungs are struggling to supply my body with oxygen.
Seth turns to me, and I see my own pain reflected in his eyes. "He's closer to home, but he still has no intention of coming back," he answers in monotone. I expected that answer, but it still hits me hard. The world spins and the breath completely leaves my lungs. I slowly lower myself onto the couch, and pull my arms across my chest. Seth reaches out to me.
"I'm fine," I lie, unconvincingly.
Seth sits down next to me. "No, you're not," he observes.
I shake my head. "No, I'm not," I agree as I let a few tears lose. Okay, maybe more than a few. I pull my knees to my chest and start sobbing. Within a second, Seth puts an arm around my waist and the other under my legs, pulling me onto his lap. I bury my face in his warm chest and continue crying. Seth doesn't bother trying to console me, but he does his best to comfort me. He rubs my back gently and kisses my hair softly.
Jake ran away from home a few weeks ago. Literally. A few days after the battle in June, we received an invitation to Bella and Edward's wedding. It was Edward's attempt at a peace gesture, but it had the opposite effect. Jake left home without another word, starting running as a wolf, and hasn't stopped.
The pack can still hear him while in wolf form, but Jake usually ignores them as best as he can. According to the wolves, Jacob's surviving on wolf instinct. This is good because it keeps Jake from feeling the emotional pain that's torturing him. Unfortunately, he's becoming increasingly used to living like a wolf, meaning the chances of him coming home are decreasing by the day.
There are only two people with the power to make my brother come home- Jake and Sam. But Sam, knowing how much pain Jacob is in, has hardly considered ordering him home. Still, it's put him in a very bad mood. He isn't thrilled to have his second-in-command running the Canadian border instead of La Push patrols. With Jacob's killer wolf skills, it's more like being three short than just one, and Sam is far from pleased. He normally doesn't push his authority very far, but lately he's made a few exceptions, and we're all playing it safe.
I miss my big brother more every day, which shouldn't be possible considering the degree of my longing. I never stop thinking about him, though it makes it hard to breathe and occasionally makes me so dizzy I have to lay down for hours at a time. I've done everything I can to distract myself, but it isn't working. I know he needed to clear his head a little, but the incredibly selfish part of me hopes that Seth is paying close attention to me right now, and relays it to Jake later. If he doesn't come home soon, there is a very good chance I will lose my mind and never recover.
Eventually, I run out of tears. I press my cheek against Seth's shirt, which is as warm as though it just came out of the drier. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and try to calm myself down. A burning finger wipes away a few stray tears, and Seth kisses my hair again.
"Out of tears?" Seth asks kindly, allowing me to continue crying if I need to. He's so sweet.
"Yeah. Sorry," I mumble, my voice rough.
"Don't be," he breathes, tracing my wet eyelids. "But I'm glad you stopped, because I think you're starting to mess with Sawgue's chi," he adds seriously.
I open my eyes, laughing weakly, and glance at the stupid rat on Seth's shoulder. The critter is currently nibbling on the corner of Seth's shirt.
"Or is chi a Chinese thing?" Seth says to himself. To me he adds, "Obviously I'm not very up on my Asian culture."
I give him a genuine smile and decide to waste my breath. "Seth, you're insane." He shrugs, and the gerbil loses grip on his shirt.
Only Seth would buy a chinchilla. But considering Seth is the only part of my life going right, I drop the issue and decide to enjoy the greatest part of my life. I tilt my head up and slowly bring my lips closer to his.