Please notice that although this work is not canon (due to some characters still being alive that are supposed to be dead) it still does contain SPOILERS for anybody who did not read further than chapter 612. And of course I do not own anything of Naruto. I just like to play with the characters.
The rain had finally stopped. Nature had finally stopped crying.
He was standing in front of the new memorial stone; the other one had been too small for all the new names, which needed to be added, to fit. The war was finally over. Sasuke and Naruto had saved not only their village but the whole world.
In the distance he could hear children laughing. He sighed. A lot of them had lost one or even both their parents for the sake of peace. But now they hopefully would never have to fight in a war.
Above the noise of the children was the sound of metal against stone. He turned around to see that the work on the new stone face had also finally started. Tsunade-sama had taken a leaf out of the sandaime's book and had chosen to resign. She declared that she would be spending the rest of her life on the improvement of medical nin-jutsu from now on.
But against all expectations it was neither Naruto nor anyone else from their generation chosen to carry on as Hokage. Even though he had been unconscious at that time, everyone who had not anything better to do, chose to tell him about how the hermit of the six paths himself had praised Hatake Kakashi's qualities as a leader. Although he had lost his Sharingan during the battle he was still very skilled and someone with enough experience to take on this task even though Gai-sensei had been a little disappointed to hear that he would have to let his eternal rival of the hook, at least for the next few months.
A cold wind started to blow and it pulled at his thin black clothing. They all shared the need to grief for their fallen comrades and friends. Some had gone back to normal after a few days others had even declared to wear the black for a year. He for himself had decided on one month after being allowed to leave the hospital.
Just one week of this month was left and he still had not been able to face him yet. He had been the only one of the Konoha twelve not to visit him in the hospital. With one last glance over the lost heroes he started on walking home.
He passed the academy were Iruka-sensei was scolding Kotetzu and Isumo because of something which seemed to be related with Iruka's head covered in flour. Suddenly a little girl started crying and all the anger dropped out of Iruka's face as he hurried over to calm her down. Kotetzu and Isumo saw the opening and took it. They fled Iruka's wrath without hesitation and with a grin on both their faces.
He started walking again. He knew the way to the Hyuuga compounds by heart so he let his mind drift away. Suddenly he was witness to another argument as he was just passing Ichiraku's. He recognized the voices immediately.
"Oh come on Kiba! Just this once I promise!"
"NO! If you forget your money at home, it's your problem, not mine! It even was your idea to come here for dinner in the first place!" The white ball of fur in front of the shop barked in agreement.
He had to smile at this. They all had lost friends in this war but to be able to share their grief helped everybody. And the always happy Naruto did the rest to push the inhabitants of Konoha through all of this.
Just as he started to get going again, not too eager to get involved in their little argument, Kiba caught sight of him.
"Ah Neji my friend! It's good to see you out and about! How are you?"
He sighed. He knew resistance was useless against those two. Well, he might as well just roll with it and get some information about Shikamaru.
"Hello Kiba, hello Akamaru." The dog trotted over to him and sniffed at his fingers. Neji started scratching the big white ninken's head.
"HEY I'm here too!" A slightly pissed Naruto came into sight.
"Yes, I could not possibly overhear that, even from across the street."
Kiba and Naruto both turned red at that.
"But to answer your question Kiba, I am fine. But I am indeed a little tired so I would like to…"
He was not even allowed to finish his sentence as Kiba started to cry out.
"Oh come on! You're worse than Shikamaru! He hasn't been joining us AT ALL!"
Neji cringed slightly at the mention of Shikamaru's name.
"Well his father died and he now has not only to continue as clans head but, after his promotion to jonin, as jonin commander as well."
Kiba made a grumpy face after Neji stated the all too obvious. The young Nara had a lot of good reasons not to join them as frequently as before.
"But he can't just sit at home or in his office and forget about us! He needs to relax! The war is over!" That was Naruto.
"Well, he will deal with it in his own time. Just let him be, at least for a little bit longer, will you? And Ino too. Yes, don't make such a face Kiba."
So Shikamaru hasn't talked much to the others either.
"Anyway, I will take my leave now. I am still not as fit as I thought I am." He had heard enough. He needed to go and see the Nara right now. With a short wave he left his friends and continued his walk down the street.
On his way to the large Nara compound he thought about what he should say. He had offered his condolences to Nara Yoshino and Shikamaru at the funeral like everyone else. He had been on strong medication at that time but neither Sakura nor Tsunade-sama had been able to convince him to stay in the hospital. He also knew the formal ways on how to proceed in such a matter but he did not intend to use those on Shikamaru.
His mind was still blank as the large house came into view. It was a nice sunny afternoon, the winters in the land of fire were not very cold to begin with, and so in the garden in front of the house were a few Nara clansmen seated, talking to Yoshino. She looked way better than at the funeral she even smiled as she recognized Neji and indicated him with a wave of her hand to step closer.
"Neji-san, it's good to see you again. How are you?"
Neji was a little confused of the new and formal suffix. But he got her intention very fast and was impressed, that not only the Nara men seemed to be pretty smart. The other men accompanying her backed off a little so that they could talk in private.
"Thank you Yoshino-san, I am feeling better."
"That's good to hear. But I guess you are not here to speak to me; am I right?"
"Well, yes, you are correct. Is Shikamaru at home?"
"I thought so. Yes he is. He should be out in the back, near the forest."
"Thank you, may I…?"
"Oh yes, of course! Just follow the path around the house, and then you should be able to see him."
"Thanks again, goodbye Yoshino-san."
He bowed shortly and then turned to the path she had told him about. It was a small and narrow gravel path. He did not need to turn around or activate his Byakugan to feel the suspicious glances from the other Nara. But after Yoshino's formal address they seemed to know that she did not want them to interfere. He was thankful for that. The following talk would not be in the need of someone eavesdropping on them.
He heard the rustle of paper before he saw Shikamaru. Neji was shocked. He looked even worse than he had imagined. His brows were furrowed and his jaw clenched, always an indication for his chronical headaches. The rings under his eyes were larger and darker than Neji had ever seen them.
Neji slowly began to close the distance between them. Shikamaru did not even stir.
Then Neji stood directly in front of the Nara his shadow casting over the papers on the veranda. After a little while Shikamaru finally spoke but continued reading his report.
"You know you block off the light by standing there?"
"I am well aware of that."
Shikamaru continued on reading and Neji continued on watching him. After what seemed an eternity, Shikamaru finished reading the report, collected all the other loose papers and files and stacked them on a neat pile next to the backdoor.
"Well as you are not about to let me do my work, you might as well tell me why you are here."
"I think the brilliant mind of yours has already figured that out, didn't it?"
Shikamaru sighed. He turned away from Neji and towards the backdoor, opened it and talked to someone in the room behind it. "I'm going out for a little walk. I don't know when I'll be back."
He did not wait for a response and instead closed the door firmly behind him. He motioned Neji to follow him into the forest next to the house.
Neji had lost track of time as they walked through the forest in silence. The thick canopies of the trees blocked out most of the sunlight and so it was impossible to tell the stand of the sun.
Suddenly the forest opened into a small clearing. Well, actually it was more like a cave because branches and leaves were still blocking out the sky. The floor was overgrown with bright green moss.
Shikamaru turned around, facing now in Neji's general direction but he still did not meet his eyes.
Neji took a careful step forward as if he was approaching a scared and wounded animal. As Shikamaru made no move to back away from him he came closer until he stood right in front of the Nara. Neji reached out and lifted Shikamaru's chin up so their eyes could finally meet.
Pain. Fear. Sadness. And all those unshed tears could be seen in Shikamaru's eyes now. Neji softened his gaze, his thump stroking the high cheekbones softely. Then he suddenly pulled Shikamaru into a tight embrace. He wanted to tell him he was sorry that he had not been at his side when Shikamaru had needed him most. To tell him he knew exactly how he was feeling right now, more than anyone else. And somehow Shikamaru seemed to understand because he lifted his arms up around Neji's back, buried his face in the taller man's chest and started crying. At first the sobs were dry and uneven. But after a short while they started to smooth out into smaller sobs and the finally the tears started flowing.
The last bit of sunlight shining through the trees started to fade as Shikamaru's sobs evened out and he started to breathe normally again still holding on to Neji. Neji slowly pulled a few inches away and pressed a kiss on the Nara's forehead. Their eyes met again and something in Shikamaru's had changed. They had lost the haunted look he had shot him with just a few hours ago.
His voice was rough as he began to speak.
"Neji, I …"
"Shh, it's ok. I know how you feel."
"I…, thank you."
"I am here for you Shikamaru. It's getting dark, we should head back. Are you alright?"
"I don't want to go back." Shikamarus voice barely was more than a whisper. Had they not been standing so close, Neji would probably have missed it.
"Why? What's wrong Shika?"
The use of the nickname only Neji was allowed to use seemed to smash right through the last bit of defence around Shikamaru's heart. He buried his face in Neji's chest again.
"Can I stay at your place? Just for one night? I… I just don't think I can face them now." He muffled against the black shirt, which was still damp from his tears.
"O-of course you can. But we should get you some stuff and at least tell someone were you are staying."
Shikamaru nodded slightly. He pulled himself out of the hug and started on heading back, never letting go of Neji's hand.
As the large house came back into view the only one still outside was Nara Yoshino. Shikamaru rushed past her into the house probably heading towards his bedroom to get some clothes.
Neji stopped at Yoshino's side and thought about how he could tell her that Shikamaru would be staying with him for the next few days.
"I am glad you came Neji." Yoshino's voice was steady and a bit relieved.
As Neji's expression revealed his surprise about that statement Yohino continued.
"Everyone expects him to be a strong level headed shinobi. He was there to comfort me after Shikaku's death. He told me his last words with a steady voice and let me cry in his arms over and over again. As I started to feel better again I realised that I hadn't seen him crying even once. Everyone seems to forget that he is just a child which has lost its father."
"He hasn't been sleeping well, has he?"
"No. He always stays up late, reading reports and filing them. I didn't know what I should do. Not even Choji was able to get through to him. I guess it would be best if you would take him out of here for a while. Away from his work, away from his responsibilities."
Neji wasn't surprised. Yoshino seemed to know her son quite well and even though Shikamaru usually referred to her as a dragon, she really did care a lot for him.
"Actually I came to the same conclusion. He is currently packing up some things for his stay at my house."
Yoshino gave him a smile and nodded. "Thank you Neji, I really appreciate it. And I think Shikamaru does so, too."
Shikamaru stepped out of the backdoor and walked over to them. He pressed a kiss at his mother's forehead and then looked expectantly at Neji. He nodded and Shikamaru took a step closer to him and Neji started on forming the hand signs for the transportation-jutsu.
Their vision blurred and as it cleared just moments later they were standing in Neji's living room. After becoming jonin he had accepted the offer from Hiashi to move into a small house on the outskirts of the Hijuga compounds.
Being away from home Shikamaru immediately dropped his act and the sad and tired expression was back. Neji took the black rucksack out of Shikamarus hands and brought it into the bedroom. He pulled some black slacks and a grey sweatshirt out of it and brought them into the bathroom. He started on filling the tub with hot water and added lavender salt to help Shikamaru relax.
Stepping into the living room again he saw Shikamaru had not moved at all. He was staring into the air and seemed lost in his thoughts. Neji pulled Shikamaru into a short hug before guiding him into the bathroom. He helped him undress and as he was seated in the tub Neji made a move to leave the bathroom.
"Please don't leave me alone." Again Shikamaru's voice was not more than a whisper.
Neji turned around again and saw a slight blush at Shikamaru's cheaks. He started to undress himself. He was about to enter the tub opposite Shikamaru but was stopped as Shikamaru scooted forwards, indicating Neji to sit behind him. Once Neji was seated Shikamaru leaned back and closed his eyes. Neji brought up his arms around the Nara's stomach and hugged him loosely. They stayed tangeld like this until the water was getting cold.
Neji helped Shikamaru out of the tub and dried both of them with some fluffy white bath towels. As they were both clothed in their pyjamas Neji brought Shikamaru back into the living room, placed him on the couch and started a fire in the fireplace. He did not want Shikamaru to catch a cold just because his hair was still damp. The winters in Konoha might not be extremely cold but at night the temperature could easily drop by ten degree or more.
He went into the kitchen and started on making both of them a cup full of hot chocolate.
As they were both seated in front of the fireplace, both with a steaming mug in their hands, Shikamaru was finally able to smile again.
Neither of them had spoken for a long time as Shikamaru cuddled himself into the side of his boyfriend and yawned. Neji chuckled.
"What is so funny Hyuuga?" Shikamaru asked in a, poorly acted, grumpy voice.
"Nothing, I just thought maybe we should go to bed instead of sleeping on the couch."
"Mmh, agreed."
Shikamaru brought the mugs back into the kitchen and placed them in the sink while Neji put out the fire.
They met in the hallway and walked together to the bedroom. Neither of them turned on the light. They lay down on the large bed and cuddled for a while. Then Shikamaru was finally able to fall asleep.
He woke up hearing the sobs. He briefly wondered who was crying next to him as the events of the day came back into his mind. He scooted closer to the shaking body, hugging it from behind and whispering soothing words.
Shikamaru turned around and started to calm down again. The nightmare seemed to have shaken him pretty bad.
After a while Shikamaru started to speak in a hoarse voice.
"Does… does it get easier?"
Neji did not know how to answer that question. He too had lost his father but he had been much younger than Shikamaru and the circumstances had been different. Some minutes later he finally answered.
"There is nothing that can take the pain away. But eventually, you will find a way to live with it. There will be nightmares, and every day when you wake up, it will be the first thing you think about, until one day, it will be the second thing." (1)
A long silence followed. Just as Neji thought Shikamaru had been fallen back asleep the Nara said in a sleepy voice: "Thank you Nej', for staying with me."
Neji held Shikamaru tight to his chest. He had not been able to be by his side for so long he now had no intention of letting go. His still not completely healed wounds started to ache but he did not care. He finally was with Shikamaru again. And that was all that mattered.
(1) Yes Neji just quoted Reddington from The Black List. I just thought this was the perfect way for him to answer Shikamaru's question.
I hope you enjoyed my very first Fanfiction. Although I am not a native speaker and basically just wrote this to practise my English, I hope you were able to understand everything :)
Please tell me what you think about it, I look forward to hearing from you :3