What I Plan to Do With My Life
An Essay By Remus Lupin
My plan for my life consists of me living in my parents' house until an obscene age, maybe thirty; unless they die early, in which case I am out of luck, as werewolves can't inherit. I will try out for many Muggle jobs, most minimum wage and insulting to a person of my intellect, but I will be fired within three months due to the amount of sick days I will need to take. I plan on not even trying for a Wizarding job, as that would just be depressing, and I'm already depressed enough.
I plan on, eventually, when my parents either kick me out because they're sick of having me around, or the Ministry evicts me from the house after their deaths, living in a box under an overpass with the drunks and prostitutes and general homeless people. I shall teach them to read, and take care of themselves in proper society, and they will move on to bigger and better things while I stay in my box under the overpass, watching them all move on like a proud, if slightly depressed, parent. Then I shall die, cold, alone, and forgotten in my box under the overpass.
(P. S. The real essay is attached to this one; I just had to do it. Love you, Minnie! )