It started with a scream.
It was nearly impossible to calm the poor girl. Of course, an examination of the room would explain everything. A window, broken; the sheets, shredded; the futon, bloody; and a note, with the yellow splotches slightly ruining the ink.
'I~found~you~'
The message was not exactly clear, who found him and why would they attack? More importantly, how could this have happened without anyone noticing? While it's true that Squall can't scream, he can make all kinds of noise, the obvious signs of a struggle show that.
The police cordoned off the room and refused to let anyone in. Amu, the young girl who discovered the crime scene was questioned extensively, considering her age and mental state. A preliminary test showed that the blood on the futon was from pigs, not a human, while the blood on the note is human, presumably Squall's.
Amu was besides herself, and none of the adults seemed to care. They didn't seem to understand why she claimed that she loved him. She's too young, too immature, too childish. Yes, the two only had 'puppy love'; yes, Squall is physically incapable of possessing emotions and cannot make emotional connections; yes, they are too young to understand that something is distinctly wrong with Squall; yes, she is considered to be too young to grasp the complexities of a true relationship with another person; and yes, he is truly a fake person.
She doesn't care about any of that. She could acknowledge the will of the adults around her, to break that which exists between the two of them. She doesn't know what the connection really is, but that emotionless child is trying to be a normal person, desperately seeking out that which he lacks. So, it's true that she didn't have the ability to enunciate her feelings on the subject, and her youth makes it difficult for the adults to want to understand her. They're always right in their eyes, and they believe that she is too young to have and express complex emotions.
Why is Amu screaming? Where is my body?
My hand passes through Amu. That cannot be right. A lucid dream, perhaps? Not likely, but not impossible. But I am disinclined to believe that. So this is real, or at least I desire to believe that.
Wait... something is different. Even in my head, my 'speech' patterns are different. I have never, to my knowledge, expressed my thoughts in a manner such as this. It remains to be seen if this portends to ill tides. There it is again. I have never used language in that style, even when attempting to be sophisticated.
Hm? A black egg with a familiar symbol. The Griever from Final Fantasy VIII. But that is an... ah. I see, in order to maintain my concept of existence, I-unknowingly-latched onto the character of Squall, rather my the idealization of the character and misunderstanding of his motivations. A stoic man who was calm and collected in the face of adversity. My original Heart's Egg is missing, and was replaced by this incomplete imitation. So the question becomes, why am I suddenly aware of this? Or is this me coming to conclusions? Supposition built of off nothing.
Still, even if I am right, I am no closer to returning my self to the world, and I have no intention of discovering the exact price of failure in this scenario.
I got it in my head that it was a good idea to write down what I remember from my dreams, so forgive me if anything seems to be disjointed. I try to be as accurate as possible, but I can't be expected to remember every part of my dreams. Wait, who am I apologizing to? I don't think anyone else is going to read this. Eh, doesn't matter in the end, so I suppose it's all good. Getting off track... right, I remember someone talking to me, perhaps in the real world being perceived in the realm of dreams and illusion. But telling me that I will lose my memories? My future? That doesn't seem to be something that Amu or her family would say to me. So, perhaps my own fears coming to light?
Well, it's possible, but it seems to be the most likely answer as of this entry. Of course, that is the point of this journal, if it needed any further justification. Anyway, the person warning me about this is, undoubtedly, a woman. An old woman, as far as I can tell. I could be wrong, but that doesn't matter, as of this entry.
Is it wrong for a person with absolutely no capacity for emotion or ability to form emotionally meaningful relationship to want to have both? I see the happiness of people in love, the fear of adults, the hope of children, and the concern from Amu. Perhaps if things were different, we would have never met and she would have likely fallen for someone that can actually care for her, treasure her on an emotional level, something that is beyond my reach. A line in the sand that I am physically incapable of crossing. But I can't help but wonder, intellectually, what such a relationship would be like? I, who have never known love, fear, hope, anger, or jealousy; suddenly being forced to bear the emotional weight of an ordinary human. The books that I've read tell me that an integral aspect of the human condition is the ability to feel emotions and act upon them, for better or for ill. Being incapable of speech doesn't help. All I can do is grunt, gurgle, and moan, making sounds that make Amu and her family upset... and disgusted, I'm sure.
I feel absolutely nothing thinking about my inevitable death, nor do I flinch when I am supposed to be startled. Objectively, something appears to be wrong with me on a basic level, but my absolute apathy seems to attract girls. Apparently, I'm some kind of princely figure, especially when compared to the 'actual' prince of the school. Amu seems somewhat infatuated with him, a crush I think the books call it. Oddly, even in elementary school, girls seem interested in our interactions, as well as the apparent love triangle, with some people 'shipping' me with Amu, Amu with Tadase, and me with Tadase. I have no idea what this means, and wouldn't care either way. For whatever reason, my apathy and his exuberance creates an odd juxtaposition that gets our schoolmates excited. Even Amu blushes whenever this love triangle comes up. And the less said about the older kids, the better.
It seems that I have gotten well off topic. Perhaps I'll change the role of this journal to be a traditional journal, writing down my , and Tadase that I called him a prince, he hates it.
Squall's journal was examined thoroughly, everything that comes off as suspicious is used to try and find the child. His muteness and utter lack of emotion is well known throughout the community. Of course, they also try to respect the young boy's privacy, and link him to his biological family, the head of the Easter Company is his grandfather. His two surviving grandchildren were separated soon after their parents were killed, leading to concerns that their parents killers came back to finish the job. The younger child, who was born weaker than his older brother, is held under heavy guard while the elder child lives with the Hinamori family. But there is a missing child still out there, a child with no ability no call for help. The grandfather was brought in and cleared of suspicion, but they still kept him under surveillance, for his grandson's sake.
And then the package arrived.
Three days after the kidnapping, the police were treating the case as a murder investigation. There were no demands, nothing to suggest that the boy was still alive. And then, without warning-as most of these incidents go-a call came to the family. The family of four were in the police station when that call came in, allowing the officers to prepare to track the call.
"Well, I must admit, I wasn't expecting this little guy to fight as hard as he did. Don't worry, he's still alive and-relatively-well." The woman didn't waste any time, no small talk or taunts. She also didn't bother to disguise her voice.
"What do you want?"
"What makes you think I want anything you can give me? Well, I guess I wouldn't have called you if I didn't want something from you. Of course, I could also be lying on all fronts."
"Is Squall alive?"
"Is this Amu Hinamori? Well, he seems somewhat attached to you in particular. Well, let me say this. As of this moment, he is still alive. I can't make any promises as to how long that will last. I can't keep these fine young women in check forever. Let me be clear, I've left a package at your home with my demands. You have four days, or we might just decide to have some fun. Bye~!" The ended right there, but the cops managed to track the signal. The origin?
Right across the street.
They had already managed to get away, but the phone call led to a narrowing of the potential suspects. A young woman with at least one partner.
The package itself sat innocently just before the door, completely unmarked. Of course the police were the ones to open it, ready for anything. They weren't ready for the finger or the photo. The finger was fresh and the blood was still wet. The photo showed that the missing finger came from their victim's left hand, his ring finger to be specific. The promised demands? Nowhere to be found. They refused to let Amu see either. She didn't need to be exposed to such a thing.
"Of course, I could be lying on all fronts."
The package was genuine, but the demands were not. At this point, they had almost given up. Correction, the adult did give up on seeing him alive. Amu didn't. She still had that foolish, impossible wish. To see Squall actually fall in love. Yes, her wish for him is childish, but it mirrors his wish almost perfectly, in function if not in form. She wanted that boy to feel the emotions that are just out his reach, those tiny chemical reaction that the vast majority of people take for granted. The chemical reactions that cynical adults and edgy teenagers mock as being innately childish, ideals that have no place in the 'real world'. But Amu wasn't one of those people, she had hopes and dreams, and wanted him to be happy. And she didn't care what the adults thought about that.
The second phone call came on the seventh day.
"Hello?" Of course Amu would be the one to answer it.
"Is this Amu Hinamori /escape?"
"Who is this?"
"Someone who knows where to find your boyfriend /return." That got her attention. The other person's odd speech didn't matter anymore. "Of course, we don't have much time /return."
"Where is he?"
"Straight to the point, eh /escape? Well, right now the kidnappers have been paid off, courtesy of yours truly /return. But /backspace that doesn't mean he's out of the woods just yet /return. Those horrible women left him in an alley close by your house, so if you are willing to trust me, we can get him out of this ordeal alive /return. Can you do that /escape?"
She decided to go on a walk, keeping a cellphone on her, for emergencies, of course. At least, that's what the adults seemed to think. And when she called the police, saying that she found her missing housemate? Well, that could only be a coincidence. At least that person on the phone didn't lie to her.
"Amu? Is that you?" He was blindfolded, but that's it as far as she could tell.
"How did you know?"
"Your perfume. Good, that's very good." His left hand, sans his ring finger, found hers.
"It's going to be okay."
"Is it? Well then, that's good enough for me."
"Who are you?"
"A friend, you could say /return. Tell me, do you want to help her /escape?"
"Of course I want to help Amu-chan!"
"Well then, all I ask is that you take the place of the imitation Heart's Egg within her friend /return. If you don't, I have no doubt that he would die /return."
"But, that would mean..."
"Yes, you would have to temporarily abandon the person you care for most in the world /return. But /backspace, isn't that series of actions and events symbolic of something she would do on her own /escape? She cares about him, but you know this /return. This arrangement need not be permanent, but as of right now, if you agree to this proposal, it will ensure that both of them have the means to survive future events /return. Speaking of, the fact that we are having this conversation is showing that deviation from Amu's happy ending has occurred /return. But the damage is not irreparable, even if the original ending is forever damaged /return."
"Fine, I'll do it."
"Thank you /return. I promise that you will be reunited with Amu Hinamori in due time, Dia /return.
"Who are you?"
"Who am I /escape? Well, you could easily call me the lowest of all Guardian Characters, the weakest without exception. But /backspace, that doesn't mean I'm useless /return. It's true that I'm the most despicable of our kind, contrary to yourself, but /backspace I have come in contact with the Embryo and had a wish granted /return. Very few can say the same /return."
I've decided on a complete rewrite and re-imagining of Time Of Dying. I went through the original after not looking at it for about a year and hated it, so I came up with this instead. I think I can salvage the first two chapters of the original, but I'm not optimistic about that. Anyway, if you would be so kind as to leave me a review, I would be very grateful. Thank you and I hope you enjoyed it.