Maura Isles settled down into her couch at the guest house to read her mail. Angela was out doing some cooky function. Her mother had written her a letter, which was an antiquated art but Maura loved it. Even her mother's handwriting reminded of her own. She took a sip of the Merlot before she began to read the letter. By the time she finished the first paragraph, she knew that work on Monday would be difficult if anyone died.

"Dear Maura,

You should probably sit down to read this, if you haven't already. I must apologize for everything you have been through, looking for your mother. I am not your mother, but I understand why you think I am. You were never supposed to figure out that Paddy Doyle was your father. You were never supposed to find out about the time Paddy and I spent together. You definitely were not supposed to find out about me. That's the thing about Doyles. They, including you, are never to be underestimated.

I assumed it did not matter though. I knew, being the compassionate soul you are, that you would try to be the match for my daughter's kidney. You were supposed to fail though. Then you would drop this and go back to square one.

I do not know who your real mother is but I have a suspicion. Paddy was a wild man before we met, and still was after. I grew up. He did not. We started "dating" back in the year before you were born. I found out he was sleeping with someone else, so I had my own fling. It wasn't the most rational response and I am not proud of it.

When I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was Paddy's but the father was actually the fling. I found out because the child had a rare illness that is nowhere in the Paddy line and is common in his line. The child actually did die soon after birth.

Paddy thought he was giving our child away. I agreed to swap the children out with another mother. She was alone. She said that she wanted nothing to do with the baby's father. The father was a criminal mastermind but she didn't find that out until it was too late. I rolled my eyes at the time because I was self-absorbed and assumed Paddy told me the truth. I never thought to ask her the name of who the father was. After all, Paddy claimed he did not get the woman he was seeing pregnant.

Of course he would say that to me. That would protect her, in case anyone wanted to hurt her to get to him. Paddy was always paranoid like that. I apologize for freaking out like that but I just couldn't admit to what I had done. I couldn't admit to what I had done in front of Cailin. I will need to now. I was hoping to never have that conversation.

Just so you know there was no double switch, I took a hair of yours from the bathroom the other night. There was no familial match to me and I attached the results. I apologize for telling you like this, but I am not nearly as brave as you are. I guess I am like you though. It is much easier to deal with the dead than the living.

I still hope we can be civil colleagues with each other whenever I am in Boston. Whenever you need help, I will be there. I also have attached a sketch of your mother many years ago. I drew it that night, just in case. She said her name was Amanda but that she would have to change it so the father would never find her. So you are looking for someone who did not exist in the system until after you were born.

I do not expect you to call me anytime soon. This is a lot to process. You may never forgive me, but I could never forgive myself if I kept leading you on.

Best wishes,

Hope Martin"

After finishing the letter, Maura Isles sat on the couch staring into space for the next five to ten minutes. Thoughts would not even come to her head. Just when she thinks she has found who she is, she is back to square one. All the evidence pointed to Hope being her mother.

Maura laughed while scolding herself. Just because people have things in common does not make them family. Some relatives have nothing in common. Some have everything in common. Having things in common has more to do with brain chemistry than genetic makeup sometimes and environment can have a huge impact on brain chemistry. Reinforcement determines what we like and what we're good at. That reinforcement eventually alters the brain chemistry.

Both Maura and Hope, she reasoned, got reinforced for being geeks and punished for trying to be social. Maura got rewarded for appreciating the finer things, which probably results in the quirks of wearing high heels to crime scenes. Just like Jane got reinforcement from her father for being strong and independent. Her mother, Angela, tried to make her more feminine but just wound up yelling.

The rest of the night Maura hardly remembers. She finished off the bottle of wine, hoping to make the letter just a horrible, alcohol-induced, dream.