Excuse: Because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Casting Call For Act One:
Dark-Buffy
Daisuke-Also sort of Buffy, but not really
Policemen-Zombies/vampires
Ordinary Pieces of Art-Victim
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Another day, another heist. The objective of this outing was to steal the painting entitled "Consciously". It was a two-centuries-old piece of artwork, framed in the finest mahogany and hanging behind its protective clear covering in the private collection of a middle-aged art dealer, who lived in a small nearby city. The targeted location was only about a half hour away from Daisuke's home as the crow flies; an expression that the Phantom Thief Dark took close to heart. The painting's plight was simple enough; the spiritual power funneled into it by its creator had grown with age, until it presented a danger to anyone who came into direct contact with it, though its exact effects weren't clear as of yet. It was a beautiful enough artwork; a depiction of a forest lit by sunlight, with solid birds of every color and form perched on slender tree branches, and a figure standing with its back to the looker, its arms raised to conduct the birdsong. The sunlight streamed through the figure, as if it were nothing more than a memory. His job was to perform a temporary seal on the piece, then bring it back to Emiko and Daiki so that its powers could be permanently locked away. Emiko's research (or to put it more accurately, wild guessing) had determined that there wouldn't be much security, just a few basic alarms and the dozen or so police troops that were certain to lurk around the collector's home after Dark's note was received.
There's our stop, Dark told Daisuke cheerfully as he hovered above a newly restored mansion on the outskirts of the city. Without giving his other self time to protest, ebony wings folded closer to their master's sides, and he swooped downward towards the art dealer's abode on a straight path towards the roving searchlights beaming from beside the circle of police cars. In the back of their mind, Daisuke mentally ground his teeth, but Dark's actions had frightened him so many times before that the red-haired teenager had begun to lose heart in screaming bloody murder each time they brushed with death or capture.
As he expertly tilted With's wings so that he was aimed towards the mansion's sprawling back lawn, the Phantom Thief remembered to aim a dazzling smile to the pack of fangirls that howled happily to him from behind the police barricade. Several of the young females swooned in joy, each certain that the kaitou's charming grin had been meant for them and them alone. Meanwhile, Dark sailed into the shadows, edging close to the stone wall of the old home. Having analyzed the build of the mansion from the blueprints that Emiko had tracked down (how DID she find all this information so quickly, anyway?), he felt along the wall for the unused door leading to the basement that he knew was there. The phantom thief was briefly struck by the idea that he heard someone singing nearby, but quickly dismissed this. Who would be singing at such a late hour in the middle of a backyard?
"Every single night, the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight
Still I always feel the strange estrangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right"
Dark? What are you doing? Daisuke's mental voice was gently bewildered, sounding as though something had startled the boy. Dark wondered why he sounded so puzzled, but then his fingers found the rusty handle to the hidden door, and the time for questions had passed.
What does it look like I'm doing? I'm sneaking into the basement, the Phantom Thief snapped irritably to his counterpart. The door was sticking; not surprisingly, considering as though it appeared the building's current owner had no idea it was there at all. Good, then the police wouldn't be expecting him to enter from a back way. He could easily come up behind them and knock the guarding squad out without noise, or perhaps even just grab the painting and leave without them knowing he'd been there at all (until one happened to turn around and notice that Consciously had gained the power of invisibility, that is). And the singer was still going at it, despite the otherwise grave silence of the night that surrounded them.
"I've been making shows of trading blows
Just hoping no one knows
That I've been going through the motions,
Walking through the part
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart"
Shh! We've got company. Six police officers were in the basement with them, where the dealer kept her collection of masterpieces. Despite what he thought to be a quiet entrance, somehow every single one of them had immediately realized his presence and had whirled around. Their hands were flying to their belts; some towards communication devices to alert their superiors, some towards guns and clubs. Dark braced himself, and sprang for the nearest officer. Vaguely, he became aware of the fact that he was the one singing. Actually, he had quite a nice voice, though he'd never noticed it before that moment. Somewhere in the farthest reaches of his thought process, a part of him realized the fact that singing was not something a Phantom Thief, or any thief for that matter (as far as he knew of), would rationally do while in the middle of a burglary. But at the moment, it seemed perfectly natural.
"I was always brave, and kind of righteous
Now I find I'm wavering
Crawl out of your cars, you find this fight
Just doesn't mean a thing"
What was even more bizarre than the fact he had, without rhyme or reason, suddenly burst into song, it appeared the policemen were quite happy to aid the musical. A bound, two connections of fist and skull, and a pair of them dropped to the cold concrete floor. As they crumpled, one with an average bass voice sang back, "He ain't got that swing."
Dark's reply was lilting and sarcastic. "Thanks for noticing."
Whirling, the Phantom Thief's wings threw two more against the wall. The fifth officer was bringing his communications device up to his ear, but a quick swat and he collapsed, the silver walkie-talkie clattering to the ground, still safely deactivated. However, the final officer had drawn his gun and managed to fire at the brigand. Although his shot missed by several feet, the sound would undoubtedly give away his location to the small army that was waiting in all the wrong places to ambush him. As their companions were thoroughly thrashed, the still-conscious policeman from before and the final officer harmonized for the song's chorus.
"He does pretty well with cops from hell
But lately we can tell
That he's just going through the motions
Faking it somehow"
And the choir didn't help.
As his gloved hand came down upon the final officer's temples, the blue-clad man melodized conclusively, "He's not even half the jerk he-ow!"
With flowing movements of liquid-mercury, the Phantom Thief Dark slid over to the object of pursuit. Quickly deactivating a miniscule trigger designed to shrill an alarm upon the artwork's removal, he gently took the painting by the top of its frame and lifted it off the wall. All the while, he continued singing in a low tenor, which filled the somber storage space like a teacher who is naturally gifted with the power to hold students' attention without shouting (a very rare thing nowadays, Dark had noted by observation of Daisuke's classes)
"Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?"
Around him, the other, more ordinary works of art whimpered their thanks for removing the danger. They didn't speak in words, exactly, but Dark could understand the silent language of his kin. "How can we repay-"
His reply was short, clipped from lack of time for socializing. Ordinarily he loved praise, but the Phantom Thief wasn't in the mood and could already hear the stampeding footsteps on the beginning of the staircase that led down into the basement. "Whatever." In a slightly softer tone not at all directed to the grateful paintings and statues around him, he sang, "I don't wanna be…"
The first policeman leapt from the fifth-to-bottom stair onto the concrete floor, his hands trembling wildly as he aimed his gun around the room, but by then Dark had vanished into the moonless night. Bewildered, the officer slowly lowered his gun, and then howled rage at the velvety blue-black sky. If he had listened carefully, strands of melody that drifted back through the darkness might have brushed his ears, but his useless anger drowned them out in a roaring flood.
"Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just wanna be...
Alive."
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Author's Note: This is hopefully continue throughout the entire ensemble of songs from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer musical, "Once More With Feeling". Because WolfBane2 likes those songs. But she's not guaranteeing anything. WolfBane2 is not expecting reviews for this chapter, because this song (although she likes this song, herself) is extraordinarily dull when read, hence WolfBane2's mediocre writing brought it down to an all-time low. The title of this chapter's song is "Going Through The Motions", which is also from Once More With Feeling and therefore not owned by WolfBane2. Please continue to watch for the next chapter, which includes a much funnier song about bunnies, as well as Takeshi.