NOTE: I have changed this chapter slightly to make it more funny in places!
Author's Note: Yes, this is Sailor Moon with Naruto. All main characters in the Sailor Moon series will be filled by Naruto characters. Some Naruto characters may not appear until later and some may never appear at all.
If someone asks, I'll do a character list, but it should be pretty obvious. (Especially after they transform.)
Some characters I've left in the original Sailor Moon version.
Here some of the characters (these ones may be kind of hard)
Naru: original Sailor moon version
Umino: Hinata
The teacher: Genma
Brother: original Sailor moon version
-…-
I'm Uzumaki Naruto, 14 years old, eighth grade. I'm a little clumsy and a bit of a whiner. That's about it.
The alarm went off with a sharp suddenness. Naruto reached for it, but was forced to get up when he knocked it off the dresser. He jumped out of bed, sped by the clock's shrill voice. He clicked it off and groggily flipped it over to see the time.
"AFTER EIGHT ALREADY?"
He yanked his clothes and flew down the hall still brushing his teeth. He flicked the toothbrush into a corner, spat into the sink, and raced out the door.
A moment later he came back to grab his lunch, a cup of instant ramen. Then he was gone again.
He yawned as he ran down the street.
"Why does morning have to come every day?" He groused. He paused as he heard voices coming from down a side street.
"Get the cat! Yeah!"
"Hey, cat! Bark!"
This was accompanied by an angry yowl in which words were indistinguishable. Naruto quickly ran over to where three boys were huddled around something.
"Hey! Stop it!" he yelled. They scattered, and he quickly ran over.
"I can't believe it. Those insults were so unoriginal." He bent down.
"Poor kitty. It's okay now."
He examined the cat. It had two criss-crossed bandaids on its forehead, and a long scar across its nose.
"Oh, did they put a bandaid on you? That's a stupid and plot-serving prank."
The cat started scratching furiously at the bandaids.
"You want me to take it off?" He laughed. "Here."
He started to pull at it. "It did kind of suit you, though. Well, I lied. It looked dumb."
He pulled it all the way off. "A crescent shaped scar?"
The cat pulled an amazing double backflip, landing neatly on a nearby car. Naruto stared at it. It stared back. Naruto laughed nervously as the cat began to walk toward him. He backed away a few steps. A bell began to toll somewhere nearby.
"I don't have time for this!" he shrieked. He turned and ran.
The cat watched him go.
-…-
"Uzumaki Naruto, you're late again!"
"Ugh. How could they make such a tired guy stand in the hall?" His stomach growled loudly. He surreptitiously glanced both ways down the hall. Then he grabbed his lunch.
"Well, I did skip breakfast, so…itadakimasu!" (Time to eat!)
He was interrupted when the teacher appeared out in the hall.
"What are you doing, Uzumaki?" growled Genma. "This is why you've got failing grades!"
He held up a test.
"Thirty percent!" exclaimed Naruto, horrified.
"Yes." Said Genma angrily.
And then the scene changed.
-…-
"Naruto, I can't believe you." Said another student, later. "You were going to eat your lunch early? What about your girlish figure?"
"I'm a growing boy." He growled back. "Come on, Naru, don't tease that way! You're one of the only people here who likes me. Don't you understand?"
She thought about it while another girl shyly walked up.
"Naruto, how did you on your test?" she stammered.
"H-hyuuga…" muttered Naruto.
"Can't you tell how depressed he is? Of course it was bad!"
Naruto winced.
"Oops, did that sting? I'm sorry!"
"Y-you don't have to be so upset. I didn't get a perfect this time because I didn't really try." Hinata held up a test with a large ninety five. "If you think of a test as a game…"
"How weird!" said Naru. Then she noticed that Naruto seemed to taking it all a little too hard…
"Oh! Did you hear that Sailor V appeared again?" she said, trying to sound excited.
"Sailor V?" asked Naruto.
"Yeah. She caught the robbers from the jewel heist."
"Wow!"
"Isn't it great?"
"Er…what's a Sailor V?" asked Naruto.
"Don't act so impressed if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about!" yelled Naru, exasperated.
"Sailor V is the heroine in a school uniform that's been causing an uproar." Said Hinata.
A short video clip played. "Sai-lor V!"
Hinata tapped her fingers together. "There's a rumor that she's actually a special agent from the police department."
"Oh, so there's stuff like that now. Must be the end of the century." Said Naruto with an air of authority.
"Oh, but gems are so beautiful!" sighed Naru. "I can understand why they'd want to steal them.
"Don't you know what I mean, Naruto?" she said snarkily. "Don't you want a diamond ring, and ruby earrings?"
"You wish!" he retorted.
"Oh, yeah! Our store has been having a sale on jewelry since yesterday! Will you come with me?"
"Jewelry sale?" said Naruto doubtfully.
"They'll have rings and stuff even I can afford!" she said excitedly.
"I guess I'll go with you."
"Cool! Come over after school!"
Naruto drooped at this. "Wish school was over sooner…" he muttered. Naru grabbed his arm and pulled him away.
"Uh…Naruto?" trailed Hinata.
-…-
Somewhere, in a dark and forbidding place, a man sat on a skull throne.
"Have you still not found the silver crystal?" asked Orochimaru angrily. He gazed in a crystal.
"No, my lord." Came the answer from many throats.
"I desire a great amount of energy. If you cannot find the silver crystal, then first give me human energy."
"Lord Orochimaru." Cam a Voice from beyond a misty wall. "Will you leaVe it to me, Sakon? My minion, the monster Morga, is already gathering human energy."
"I will leave it to you, Sakon."
And then the scene changed again.
-…-
"Wow." Observed Naruto. "There are a lot of people!"
He had a talent for stating the obvious. The shop was filled with women picking out jewelry.
"Thank you for choosing us!" a harassed –looking woman shouted through a megaphone. "Feel free to try them on! Welcome! Welcome! WELCOME!"
"Mom's pretty into it." Muttered Naru.
"Maybe she's inspired. Or crazy."
"Come in! It's all on sale!"
They lost sight of her as she walked away. They didn't see her smile turn into a cruel smirk. They didn't hear what she said.
"Foolish humans!"
She watched as the rings and necklaces gleamed, sucking the energy away from those who wore them.
"Give all your energy to our great ruler!" She started laughing maniacally without noticing the small boy behind her, who started edging away slowly.
-…-
From far away, Sakon watched. He chuckled.
"It's gathering…the energy of the foolish humans who are taken by the brilliance of the gems."
He held a glowing, swirling ball of energy in his hand.
"Lord Orochimaru will be Very pleased." He laughed, delighted.
"Morga! Gather even more energy!"
-…-
Down on earth, Naru's mother nodded.
"Yes, sir." She purred.
"Mama!"
Morga spun around. Her face transformed itself.
"Oh, welcome home, Naru!" she said cheerfully.
"I brought a friend!" announced Naru. She, like Naruto, was skilled at stating the obvious.
Naruto bowed. "Hello!"
"Thank you for coming! It's crowded, but please look around!"
"Thanks!" said Naruto.
"I know! Since you're Naru's friend, I'll give you a discount!"
"Really? I'm so lucky?" Though I don't know any girls that would want jewelry from me, so there's not really any point…
"How about this diamond?" she asked, going behind the counter. "It usually sells for about 500,000 yen, but I'll lower it to 30,000!" (Note: 500,000 yen is about 5000 dollars, and 30,000 yen is about 300 dollars, so this is a pretty big discount!)
"500,000 to 30,000!" shouted Naru and Naruto in unison. Unfortunately, the women in the shop heard them. They were immediately butted out of the way.
"Sold!"
"Wait, I'll buy it!"
"It's mine!"
Naru and Naruto dragged themselves out of the crowd and huddled at the edge of the shop.
"500,000 to 30,000. Hell, for that much, I'm sure I could find someone to give it to!"
"Maybe you should ask your father."
"I just failed my English test!"
"Oh, yeah."
"And I've pretty much used up my allowance for the month." He drooped, reminded of his not-so-little financial troubles. Naru set her hand on his shoulder.
"Be strong, Naruto. Be strong."
-…-
He later walked out of the shop alone. He dug his test out of his bag and stared at the large 30.
"Wish I'd studied harder…or just studied a little…" Aggravated, he crumpled it up. "Oh, die!"
The wadded ball bounced off of a store awning when he tossed it away—and landed right on someone's head.
"Hey, that hurts, dumpling-head!" snarled an angry Voice.
"Huh? Oh, sorry," started Naruto as he turned around.
"30?" said the person in disbelief. He was looking at Naruto's test!
"Ah!" Naruto was mortified. He always said "Ah!" when he was mortified. It was a bad habit.
"Study harder, dumpling-head!" she admonished.
"It's none of your business!" yelled Naruto, snatching the test back. He stuck out his tongue and spun around, walking away.
"What's with her? I can't believe it." He turned around briefly to look at her. She had bright pink hair.
"What a weirdo." He muttered.
After he had left, Sakura took off her sunglasses and continued to stare up at the sky.
Naruto walked past a poster in the arcade that was advertising a new Sailor Lee game.
"Huh? Sailor Lee? They made a game already?"
A brief Video clip of Sailor Lee played.
"Must be nice being Sailor Lee." Murmured Naruto. "You don't have to worry about tests, and catching bad guys must be awesome."
He didn't notice the cat watching him.
"But me, on the other hand…" he sighed. He stared at the test again. "I don't want to take this home."
He continued to whine loudly to himself as he headed toward home.
The cat stared after him.
"Uzumaki Naruto, I've finally found you."
-…-
Naruto opened the door with flair.
"I'm home!" he yelled. His mother was waiting for him.
"Oh, you're back. You're late."
"Er…yeah, a bit." Said Naruto guiltily.
"I ran into Hinata. She said you got your tests back."
"Er…"
"Hinata said she got a 95."
"Really?" said Naruto a little too loudly. "Wow! That's amazing!" Hinata's got a big mouth!
"And what did you get, Naruto?"
"Er…well…that is…"
"Let me see." His mother was still cheerful. Naruto held out his test.
The cheer disappeared.
"NARUTO!" She started twirling her spatula in a threatening way. "After getting such a bad score, I'm not letting you in the house!"
And just a moment later, Naruto was sitting on his rump on the doorstep. He banged on the door.
"Mom!"
"I can't hear you!"
A foot made connection with his rear.
"What are you doing, baka Naruto?" said the boy behind him. (Baka means idiot.) "Did you get locked out of the house again? I want a better brother!"
"You're my younger brother!" He yelled angrily. He liked to exercise his talent for stating the obvious. He took aim.
"Sailor Lee kick!"
His brother swiftly slammed the door shut and Naruto smacked his knee into it. Hard. He also came to the realization that imitating some masked superhero in a short skirt was kind of lame.
"Ow! Mom! Please let me in!"
-…-
Back at the jewelry shop…
A woman put her hand to her forehead, distressed.
"That's strange. I'm feeling a little bit faint." She fell to her knees next to another woman already on the floor, along with several others who had succumbed. Soon they were all crumpling.
Naru was frightened.
"What's happening to everyone all of a sudden? Mom?"
She noticed her mother standing next to a case, laughing.
"I've gathered quite a bit of energy."
"Mom?"
Her mother turned her head slowly, revealing the cruel expression of Morga.
-…-
Naruto rolled over on his bed.
"She finally let me in." He stared at the ceiling. "My throat's hoarse from griping so much. Mom didn't have to get that mad."
He rolled over. "I don't feel like doing homework. Maybe I'll take a nap." He yawned.
"It's a good thing I can fall asleep so easily at times like this."
Sleeping soundly, he didn't notice the window open. Breezes whistled their way around the room, but he didn't stir.
When the window slammed itself shut, however, his eyes flicked open. He rolled over to see the cat from that morning seated on the edge of his bed.
"Hey! It's the cat with the crescent scar!"
"It's not a scar! How rude!" exclaimed the cat.
"It talked!" yelled Naruto, shocked. He leapt off the bed and stared at the cat from a kneeling position. "A cat—a cat talked!"
The cat cleared his throat and smoothed down his shirt.
"My name is Iruka. I've been looking for you, Naruto."
Naruto stared. His face was turning slightly blue.
"Oh, I need to thank you first. Thank you very much. You really helped me out by taking the bandaid off."
A brief flashback of Naruto's hand removing the bandaid played.
"I can't talk and my sensory powers are dulled when I'm like that. I was having trouble because of that bandaid prank."
The flashback ended. Iruka scooted a little closer to Naruto.
"But thanks to you, I've finally found you!" He laughed brightly, and reached out a hand to Naruto.
Naruto put his down very quickly. "Good night."
"Naruto! This is not a dream!" yelled Iruka angrily. He shook Naruto's shoulder. "Come on, Naruto!"
Naruto refused to stir.
"Fine, then. I'll wake you up. There!"
Iruka did a backflip off of the bed. There was a shining light, and a small object fell down to land on the blanket, followed by Iruka.
"Naruto, this is a present for you." Iruka looked proud of himself.
"Really? A present?" He examined it and blinked. "Hey, is this a compact?"
"Naruto, there are some strange things going on in Tokyo right now."
"This is a girly present."
"NARUTO, LISTEN TO ME! We were expecting a girl, but that's not important. There are some strange things going on in Tokyo right now. An enemy the police can't fight."
Naruto examined the object. It was a small golden disc, with a moon on it. He pinned it to his tie experimentally and looked in the mirror. Yep. Looked just like he thought it would. Really, really gay.
Iruka sprang in front of the mirror.
"Naruto, you're going to fight those enemies. You are a chosen warrior! And your other mission is to find our princess with the others."
"That's sounds sort of cool."
"You still don't believe me, do you?"
"No, I believe you, I believe you!" Naruto shook his head quickly.
"Really." Iruka didn't sound enthused. "Then say this. Moon Prism Power Makeup."
Naruto gave a small salute. "Okay. Moon Prism Power Makeup!"
His hand shot above his head. From the small disc flew ribbons, clothing him in gloves, boots, an entire schoolgirl outfit. A headband appeared on his forehead and he finished by striking a pose against a Very pretty backdrop.
His eyes widened. "Whoah! Did I just pull an entire choreographed transformation sequence out of my –"
A red jewel nestled in his hair began to beep. A voice emanated from it.
"Help! Help me! It's my mom!"
That's Naru's Voice! What does this mean?
"Now do you believe me?" asked Iruka rather smugly.
"I don't really get it, but Naru seems to be in danger."
"Naruto, you have become Sailor Moon. Now go and save her, quickly!"
-…-
A hand gripped Naru's throat tightly.
"Mom…stop!" she gasped.
Morga laughed. "I'm not your mom!"
Naru gasped as the woman she had thought was her mother transformed into a hideous skeletal creature.
"Your mother's locked up in the basement. After I kill you, I'll send her to the other world with you!"
"You mean you'll kill us?" gasped Naru.
"Maybe." Said the monster. "I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to mention death on this show."
She gripped Naru's throat even harder.
"Get away from Naru!" a voice shouted.
Morga pulled an exorcist and twisted her head around backward. She spotted a silhouette in the doorway.
"Who are you?" she demanded.
"Er…I'm the Sailor Warrior of Love and Justice." In a short skirt, no less. I feel exposed.
He pulled several poses. "I am Sailor Moon! In the name of the moon, I will punish you!" Where the hell is all this crap coming from?
"Sailor Moon?" grated Morga. Her body twisted with a series of sickening cracks to realign with her head as she dropped Naru. "I've never heard of such a thing."
She raised her arms.
"Awaken, my slaves that give their energy to my great ruler!"
The women in the shop rose from the floor. Their eyes were blank.
"What are you people?" yelled Naruto, spooked. After the short skirt and the posing and the talking cat, he just wasn't ready for this.
He desperately dodged flailing arms and one broken bottle, but stumbled and ended up on the floor, backed against a pillar.
"Oh, no! I'm bleeding!" He had just noticed a cut on his leg.
"What are doing, Sailor Moon?" hissed Iruka, who had come from around the back of the pillar. "You have to fight! You have to destroy that monster!"
"Why? Why is this happening to me? I'm going home!"
Morga sprang up. "This is the end!" She shrieked, bearing down on Naruto. Naruto yelled in anticipation as her long, taloned hand reached for him—
A branch flew from nowhere, halting her attack. A branch covered in cherry blossoms. Morga spun around.
"Who's there?" she demanded.
"I am Tuxedo Mask!" the mysterious girl announced. "And whining isn't going to solve anything, Sailor Moon."
"But I…" The Volume of his whining grew. It began to resonate with the crystals in his hair, sending out waves that blasted the women in the shop.
"Stop whining!" yelled Morga.
Iruka peeked around the pillar again. "Take the tiara and yell Moon Tiara Action and throw it!" he advised.
"Why do I have to do that?"
"Just hurry up and do it!"
Naruto winced and stood.
He slipped the tiara off of his forehead and spun several times as it became a disc. He finished with a pose, yelling, "Moon Tiara Action!"
He flung the disc, which spun toward the screaming Morga.
"No way!" He gasped, as it hit her. She spun into dust.
Far away, the ball of energy Sakon held spun itself into nothing.
"Morga." He growled. "You screwed up, you idiot!"
Back at the shop, Naruto took a few slow steps toward the pile of dust that had been Morga, only to have it disappear into nothing.
"Good job, Sailor Moon!" came a voice. Naruto looked up at the window where Tuxedo Mask stood.
"I'll remember this night." She swirled her cape about her and disappeared out the window. Naruto could feel himself flushing.
That cape was so cool. How come she gets a cape and I get a skirt?
"You did well, Sailor Moon." Said Iruka, coming up behind him. Naruto had large hearts in his eyes.
"She's so cute!" he exclaimed.
-…-
"Hey, I had a really great dream last night!" exclaimed Naru at school the next day. "A warrior of justice name Sailor Moon appeared and destroyed this monster."
"What? I had the same dream!"
"Yeah! Me too!"
Several girls crowded Naru as Naruto shrank down at his desk.
"That's so strange! Naruto! Naruto, listen!" With surprise, they noticed he was trying to sleep.
"Be quiet!" he whined. "I'm tired, so let me sleep a little more! Good night!"