Note: I'm using the Case Closed name changes for this one, but for good reason. See end notes if the references escape you! Please review!
Saving Face
"We've finally caught you, Barry, so it'll only do you good to divulge the details," said the blonde soldier with satisfaction, as she turned her back to the unshaven serial killer who had long since abandoned his smug grin and now gritted his teeth in disgust with every wrench of his chains.
"I'm telling you," the scrawny man, alias Barry the Butcher, yelled from his straight-backed chair, "And that guy, Mustang or whatever—"
"Colonel Mustang, though I doubt he needs the ego trip," muttered Riza Hawkeye, leaning against the window frame to casually glance upon East City.
"—I'm not really Barry!"
Riza quirked an eyebrow in amusement. "Yes, they tell me you keep saying that. Well, what is your proof?"
"Oh, damn it all! What the hell's your prob—" Barry, or not-Barry as it were, cringed under the weight of a cold, steel trigger pressed to his temple.
Hawkeye regarded him with calm assurance as she clutched the trigger. "I'll give you three seconds."
"B-but—"
"Three . . . two . . . one—"
The door suddenly thrust open, smacking the gun from Riza's hand and sending it spinning onto the floor. Striding into the room was another woman—this time, tall and voluptuous with pallid skin and raven hair, who blinked in surprise. "Oops!"
While the unnerved Barry miraculously undid his own handcuffs, Riza bit her lip and whispered to Lust, "What are you doing here? It's not time for that yet!"
"What? Oh yeah, I get it," Lust groaned in a deep, sultry voice. Suddenly flashing a syrupy smile, she ripped off her mask and cried, "Ta da!"
Barry and Hawkeye dropped their jaws at the sight of a highschooler in uniform, complete with bows in her long, brown hair and a gentle blush upon her face. "Hi—hee hee! I'm Tohru Honda, and I've just learned a terrible secret—"
"You idiot!" cried Barry, who tore his own mask from his head and clothes from his body to reveal a fellow teen with a dark shirt, khaki cargo pants, orange hair—and a marked scowl.
"Um, who are you?" Riza now tried, fumbling for words. "I don't think I've ever seen you in East City before."
"Your interrupting my monologue!" hissed Tohru, who quickly snapped to attention, bowed, and beamed happily once more. "I mean, I've just learned a terrible secret about the Sohma family. They're all cursed to be possessed by the vengeful spirits of the Chinese Zodiac! But they've all been so good to me."
Tohru moved downstage and sidestepped the oak table of the interrogation room, behind which a pale Riza shrank from sight and edged closer to the wall toward a nearby telephone. Pointing at the orange-pated boy, Tohru smiled. "This is Kyo! He's a Sohma, though not a full-fledged member of the Zodiac, and he's possessed by the spirit of the Ca—"
Just then, in her feeble attempts to back away, Riza Hawkeye stumbled into Kyo's arms.
Poof!
"W-what? Was the effect supposed to go like this?" Riza gasped. For in her hands was not the bright fur of the Cat, but . . . the blue uniform of Teitan High School.
"—Cat?" Tohru saw a golden opportunity, and started to breathe heaving sobs. Her cheeks flushed scarlet from crying, and she rubbed her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve. "Kyo, is this your true form?"
But from the vast, inky audience could only be heard a lone cricket. Or a pin drop.
"Dammit, no," muttered the very unanimal-like high school detective, Jimmy Kudo, while trying to help Riza to her feet. "This play's all screwed up now."
"Oh, well—ta daaa!" Tohru threw her wig and dress upon the floor to reveal the young, properly uniformed heiress Serena Sebastian. She tossed her hair, placed a hand upon her hip and winked at the audience of the high school festival play, which had finally begun to recover and snicker. "Guess you'd much rather see the real me."
"You're both under arrest for the obstruction of justice!" cried Riza Hawkeye, mysteriously regaining her balance—and her pistol. "Now surrender peacefully, or else."
"Hey, Rachel, it's over," Jimmy chuckled, sitting on the table. "How can we keep going when that girl—"
Riza shot him an icy glare and restored the gun's trigger to his forehead. "Who said that I was anyone named Rachel?"
"She's right! I'm over here!" hissed a familiar voice from backstage. Whirling behind them, they saw the dark complexioned Rose, huddled within the curtain's shadow.
"Okay, it's getting freaky. Let's go!" stammered Serena, who leaped across the table, grabbed Jimmy's collar, and exited . . . stage left.
By this time, a third of the audience gaped in shock, a fourth rolled in the aisles, and the rest scratched their heads, wondering what the heck had happened.
At that, Riza spun and struck a fabulous pose, allowing herself to stand to her full height, her wig to fall to the footlights, and her nut brown curls to flow free. Holding up two fingers in victory, Vivian Kudo squirted her water gun into the air and cried, "I've still got it!"
From the back row, Booker Kudo smirked. That was his wife, alright.
End Notes: This odd duck leapt out of the pond after I learned more about the FUNimation voice actors' multiple roles, hence the FUNimation character names. (Of course, some readers might recognize parts of DC episode 345; magicbulletgirl's "Squeeze Plunnie" had something to do with this, too!) So, this made them switch VA roles, with the exception of Yukiko/Vivian, a Conan character who's a former actress and mistress of disguise. Hope you all enjoyed it!