One-shot reaction fic to 6x04
Discussing Walter
Sunday morning, breakfast time, the Hudson-Hummel home.
"You're up early," Burt remarked, glancing over the top of his newspaper, when Kurt joined them at the table and helped himself to a bowl of cereal.
"Couldn't sleep," Kurt answered with a shrug.
"Is something bothering you?" Carole asked, passing him the milk.
"Actually, there's something I'd like to talk to you guys about," Kurt started in a weary voice.
Burt put his paper down, watching his boy closer. Something was wrong.
"Yeah? What's that, kiddo?"
"You know I've been hanging out with Walter a lot lately," Kurt began, stirring his cereal with a spoon.
"Yes, you said he's a good friend to you," Carole said.
"He is," Kurt confirmed. "He's funny and charming. It's really nice hanging out with him."
"But?" Burt prompted.
Kurt hestitated a long heartbeat and put his spoon aside. "He kissed me last night." Seeing the horrified looks on his parents' faces he quickly added, "It's okay. I didn't mind."
"You didn't mind?" Carole echoed carefully. "Really?"
"Okay, I did mind. I just don't want you to hunt him down, Dad. He didn't molest me, he just caught me off guard and he was all apologetic afterwards. I just don't know what to think about it," Kurt explained himself.
"What's that guy doing kissing you?" Burt exclaimed angrily.
"No need to get all upset, okay?" Kurt held up his hands to get his father to stay calm. "I told him not to kiss me again. Everything's fine."
"What is it you want to talk about then, honey?" Carole asked him while gently stroking her husband's arm.
"The thing is, Walter and I were discussing the age gap and he asked me to at least consider dating him." Kurt looked at his parents after dropping the bomb. "And I was wondering if I am being an ass for rejecting him for his age? I mean, he's a sweet guy. I would probably date him if he were twenty years younger. So why is age such an issue?" Kurt shrugged. "I guess I'd like to know what you guys think about that."
"That's a difficult topic," Carole approached carefully. "Of course, there are couples out there with a significant age gap and they work." She shrugged and met her husband's eyes who glared at her. It was definitely not what Burt wanted to hear.
"I mean, society thinks it's inappropriate, but in the end I guess it's up to how you feel about him," Carole gave a shrug and another helpless glance to her husband. "If you really like him we can't stop you from being with him."
Burt looked as if he wanted to object, but his wife's hand on his arm kept him quiet. For now.
"I don't know how I feel about him in that way," Kurt replied helplessly.
"Are you attracted to him?" Burt asked, trying to be casual, but Kurt could see the restraint in his face.
"Well, he's not a troll," Kurt said with yet another shrug. "Also, I think attraction isn't just about looks, I think a witty mind is sexy, too. And Walter's smart and worldly-wise. When I'm around him I don't care that he's older. I can't imagine getting into all those petty fights I had constantly with Blaine with someone like him. He's beyond that. He knows what really matters in life."
"You think you can imagine a relationship with Walter?" Carole asked, getting serious again. "With all that's involved?" She tilted her head suggestively.
"You mean, including having sex with him?" Kurt asked for clarity.
Burt choked and his mug hit the table with a loud thud.
"Yes, including sex," Carole stated unflinching.
"I don't know," Kurt replied with a sigh. "Walter told me he's never been with a man before. He only came out last year. And I've only ever been with Blaine, so we're almost on the same page in this regard. In fact, I guess I could teach him a few things," Kurt gave a close-mouthed chuckle.
Apparently, Burt didn't think it was funny.
"He's too old for you, Kurt," Burt finally voiced his true feelings. "He's not just a tad older than you, he's older than I am, for Christ's sake!"
"Dad, this is just theoretical," Kurt said quickly.
"Then why are we talking about this?" Burt replied sharply.
"Theoretical or not, you can't have another long distance relationship, honey," Carole said, stirring the conversation in another direction, and put a hand on Kurt's.
"It wouldn't have to be long distance," Kurt said. "Walter already said he's flexible in his job. He could work in New York, too."
"Would you want him to move for you?" Carole asked, concerned.
"No, I wouldn't want him to move for me," Kurt replied stiffly. "He would have to realize that there's no guarantee of us being a couple and that I can't be responsible for his happiness."
Carole and Burt nodded in agreement. They both knew this was a sore subject. Ever since Blaine had given up on Dalton for Kurt and transferred to McKinley, Kurt had felt the pressure of responsibility.
"You said he has kids about your age," Burt said, trying to keep his voice even. "Have you met them yet?"
"Well, no," Kurt admitted.
"How would you feel if you went to a family event as Walter's date and met his kids who are your age?" Apparently Burt wanted to paint a picture of awkward reality.
"Unlikely to happen," Kurt replied. "One of the reasons why he's flexible to move is that his kids broke ties with him after the divorce. They refuse to talk to him."
"That's horrible," Carole exclaimed.
"It was a shock for them to find out their dad was gay," Kurt said. "Walter still hopes that they'll come around, but it doesn't look good."
"So you're his substitute son now?" Burt asked grumpily.
"No, that's absurd," Kurt squinted his eyes and shook his head. "I don't think he wants another kid to look after and he's not a father figure for me. I know it sounds weird, but I feel like we're equals. Sure, I'm younger than he is and he's got more life experience, but so far we haven't had any differences. He asked me to give him a reason not to date him, apart from his age, and I don't really have one."
"What is it he wants from you?" Burt remained skeptical. "What can you offer him that another gay dude his own age can't give him?"
"I think he likes to see the world through my eyes," Kurt reckoned. "Get to know the life of a young gay man today. When he grew up there was no way he could lead the life I have. Actually I admire him for the courage to start all over again."
"So he envies you?"
"I don't think he does. He enjoys my company. Also, he keeps saying I was an old soul, I mean, apparently there aren't a lot of kids who appreciate the wit of the Golden Girls anymore." Kurt chuckled again. "We have a lot in common."
"Well, that's nice," Carole said weakly.
Burt wasn't about to give up yet. He still had another ace up his sleeve.
"What about Blaine?" Burt asked, holding Kurt's gaze.
"He's with Dave," Kurt replied stiffly.
It was a sore subject, too. Burt couldn't forget the night three weeks ago when Kurt had come home from Scandals early, with tears in his eyes as Burt caught him on the stairs and all Kurt could get out between sobs had been, "He's with Dave Karofsky."
Kurt had been miserable ever since, withdrawn and moody and way too serious for Burt's liking. Burt had to admit that Kurt had become a little bit more cheerful since he met Walter. But that didn't mean that Walter was the right partner for him.
For a while everyone remained silent. Kurt stirred his cereal some more, but it had already turned too gross to eat. Before the tension got too thick, Burt spoke up again.
"You wanna know what I think?" Burt asked.
"Yes, please," Kurt replied. After all he had asked his parents for their opinion.
"I think you're lonely, Kurt," Burt said bluntly. "I think it's convenient to have that older man cherish the ground you walk on. But you shouldn't settle for the next best guy who comes along. You should keep your eyes on the road. There are a lot of other guys out there who would love to get to know you."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "You mean, just like Blaine said, I'm America's most eligible bachelor?"
"Blaine said that?" Carole's eyes lit up happily. "How sweet of him!"
"The point is, I'm sick of going on dates," Kurt said, slumping his shoulders. "After Blaine and I broke up, I went to dates in New York. It's exhausting. Meeting all those different types of guys who just aren't right. I don't want to go through all men in Manhattan just to find out they're all not what I want."
"And Walter is who you want to be with?" Carole asked skeptically.
"No! I don't know!" Kurt hung his head and raked his fingers through his hair. "The only one I want to be with isn't available! Everybody keeps telling me to move on and start dating again. And the first guy I meet is this old guy who is just too nice to outright reject him. It's all so messed up!"
"Oh, honey," Carole sighed.
"I guess you're right, Dad," Kurt mumbled eventually, still not looking up. "I'm just lonely."
"You won't be single forever," Carole said soothingly, reaching out again to stroke Kurt's arm.
Kurt looked up again and wiped at his eyes, putting on a brave smile. "I guess I'm just not over Blaine yet. I miss him."
"Of course you do," Carole said tenderly. "You shared so much."
Kurt just nodded, unable to speak with the lump in his throat. He tried to blink away tears, but he couldn't fool his parents.
"Come here," Burt went around the table and motioned for Kurt to get up. Kurt stood and found himself engulfed in one of those strong hugs only his father could give.
"You'll do the right thing, kiddo, I know it," Burt promised. "Go talk to Blaine. I can't possibly believe he has real feelings for that Karofsky-kid. That relationship is clearly just a rebound to get over you."
"I already told Blaine I was here to get his forgiveness and win his heart back," Kurt said, gently pulling out of the embrace. "If he still wanted to be with me, he would have had enough time by now to figure things out with Dave. But no, their relationship survives bear cubs in their bedroom and weird ancestory research results and even awkward encounters with all of Dave's facial-haired exes. Whereas our relationship didn't survive toothpaste on a goddamn towel!"
Kurt threw his hands in the air in defeat and let out a hysterical laugh.
"Hey, would you please calm down, buddy," Burt said, holding up his hands.
"Apparently I'm such a difficult and horrible person to live with that even living with Dave Karofsky is more appealing," Kurt went right on. "Maybe I'd do better living with an older man, because obviously that's what I've been doing my whole life and we got along just fine, didn't we?"
"Kurt, stop it, you're being hysterical," Burt said, arching his brows at him.
"Or maybe I should marry my boyfriend pillow Bruce," Kurt went on in a shrill voice. "I've never had any problems with him."
"Wait, what on earth is a boyfriend pillow?" Burt narrowed his eyes and held up a hand. "Do I even want to know?"
"Kurt, you shouldn't date anybody as long as you're still in love with Blaine," Carole stated calmly. "That's the only truth that matters here."
Kurt looked up at the ceiling, with his hands on his hips, breathing deeply.
"Listen to her," Burt said, pointing at his wife. "She knows best."
"You still love him, don't you?" Carole went on softly.
Kurt sniffed again and turned his gaze on the floor.
"I went to see a therapist in New York," Kurt admitted. "She said I had this problem with intimacy. About opening up to my partner and allowing myself to be loved. I mean, I felt safe with Blaine, but still I didn't truly allow him to get too close to me. The more he tried to get in, I would push him away. It killed him. Maybe he's better off without me. And maybe I'm better off without someone who wants to know my every thought and every flaw."
"What were you afraid of, honey?" Carole asked, watching him closely with her hands folded on the table. "What about intimacy scares you?"
Kurt slumped against the doorframe. "Maybe that he'd find out I wasn't perfect after all. That he'd find out all my flaws and realize that he couldn't love me, warts and all. God, I didn't want him to find out about my warts. Figuratively speaking of course."
"Loving a person is about accepting the flaws, too," Carole said. "I'm sure Blaine wouldn't have left you if he found out any of yours."
"Being in a relationship is never easy," Burt said. "Sometimes it's hard work, but in the end it's worth it if you're with the right person."
"Blaine was willing to work on it," Kurt admitted, resting his forehead against the doorframe. "But I was too scared that one day he'd hate me."
"Sit down and listen," Burt motioned for his son to resume his seat. Kurt obeyed. Burt sat down opposite of him and ran a hand over his bald head.
"When Blaine asked for my permission to ask you to marry him, I wasn't fond of the idea. But not because I thought you weren't right for each other. I told him that exchanging vows is a big deal and he better be sure that he loved you and not just the idea of legally being able to marry someone."
"What did he say?" Kurt furrowed his brows.
"Well, I asked him if he believed you guys were meant to be and if you had a true love, and he gave me a definite yes." Burt paused and tilted his head. "And despite my concerns, he did an over the top proposal, because he was convinced it was just what you deserved. He was so worried that he would lose you and devastated to think that you would never forgive him for cheating. You wanna know what I said to him?"
Kurt nodded weakly, hugging himself.
"I told him to stop worrying," Burt gave him another meaningful look. "And that everything's going to be okay."
"How do you know that though?" Kurt asked miserably.
Burt smiled to himself, remembering Blaine asking the same question, "I told him that when two people love each other the way you two do, everything works out."
A weak smile graced Kurt's features.
"Honey, I don't think Blaine's heart is really into this relationship with David," Carole said. "I think he's just too scared to mess things up with you again. Maybe he's waiting for a sign from you."
"You think so?" Kurt gave Carole a grateful glance.
"You don't just give up on the person you wanted to spend your life with," Carole replied with an encouraging smile. "Maybe this break was just what you guys needed to realize that you truly want this relationship."
"If Blaine asked you today if you still wanted to marry him, what would your answer be?" Burt asked.
"A definite yes," Kurt replied without a doubt. "I would do anything to make it work with him if I got another chance."
"Well, I guess Walter's out of the picture then," Burt said with a relieved chuckle. "Go and get your man, Kurt. Don't wait for Blaine to come back to his senses."
Kurt smiled. "I guess I should. Thank you for dealing with my dramatics," Kurt said with a sigh.
"You're welcome, kiddo. Glad we could help," Burt replied, sharing a heartfelt thank God look with his wife.
"Now I need coffee." Kurt got up to help himself. On his way over to the coffeemaker he stopped behind his father and wrapped his arms around Burt's neck. "I'm so lucky to have you guys. You are my idols. Considering that even Rachel's parents are getting divorced, I love how you guys stay together through everything. How do you do it?"
Burt chuckled. "Mostly it's good sex."
"Dad!" Kurt stepped back. "Ugh."
"What?" Burt laughed. "If I have to sit through listening to you planning to have sex with Walter, you can listen to me bragging about my fantastic sex life with my amazing wife."
"No, no, none of it," Kurt backed away and put his hands over his ears. "And FYI, I never actually considered sleeping with him. God! I'm going to ask Blaine if he wants to join me for coffee at the Lima Bean or if he's too busy defending his Broadway addiction to someone who spent his life as a husky football jock and secretly country music loving cowboy."
He gave his parents a wink and knocked on the doorframe for luck.
Thank you MysticNight36 and SonofLuffy for being totally awesome. :D