Hayner's hands trembled as he stared down at the paper in his hands. Two tears splattered onto the carefully inked letters as he reread the words over and over again. Olette was in bed right now, he could hear he sleeping. At least she couldn't see him cry right now. He and Olette shared a house but there had always been a tension between them, which is why he felt awkward mourning in front of her. "Oh God Roxas..." he choked, "I'm so sorry. So fucking sorry..." His eyes lingered on the poem he had just written, still unsure of where he'd found the words to write it. It wasn't the best poem in the world but it meant so much to him, like Roxas himself did. Taking a deep breath, he began to read it one last time.

I remember the first time I met you.

4th of January, back in Year 6

Ah, it was a wonderful day

I'd been excited all through school because I knew you'd be waiting for me when I got home

I was right

That night I stayed awake, just listening to you breathe

God, I was so proud!

All those years we spent together...

I really did love you, you know

I know I wasn't the best person around and I didn't say it much

But I loved you

With all my heart

These past three years...

I feel as though I failed you

Sometimes I wouldn't even notice you

Putting computers and myself first all the time...

Pathetic

I really did let you down, didn't I?

Every day I would watch you grow closer to her whereas I would be alone

I know it's my own fault

But still, I loved you

Then came the news that would change my life

You were dying

I prayed

Every

Single

Night

For you

I don't know why

I could have done so much more...

Then of course the dreaded day arrived

I spent a few minutes holding you before I knew we'd never see each other again

Your breathing was laboured and you were so, so thin

I just hoped with all my heart that you might maybe get well within those few minutes

Why didn't you?!

When you left with her I didn't cry

I just waited

Then she came back

Tears streaming down her face, voice hoarse

I knew it had happened

You were gone now

And what did I do?

Nothing

I didn't even cry for you

I went to your bed and took the only gift I had ever given you

"This will be our keepsake," I told her, tears in my eyes

I'm crying as I write this

I'm listening to I'm Already There by Westlife

It will be your song

And I will think of you whenever it plays

Why couldn't I have been a better person?

Why couldn't I have made your life happier?

I didn't even help with your medication like she did

I didn't make your final week happy like she did

I miss you so much

I don't think I'll ever stop loving you, you know

If only things had been different

If only I had strived for you

I should have done something

Three years of neglecting you!

I'm not a bad person and I'll never be perfect

But I should have tried

I love you

So much

And now I will live forever with this pain

Because I never

Said goodbye

Three more tears slid down his face. All he wanted to do was run to Roxas and hug him. But he couldn't. Roxas was gone. No matter how much he hated it, disease had claimed the blonde's life that afternoon. Pain shot through him like a volt of electricity. "Roxas...come back..." he whispered. Olette must have awoken because he soon felt the warmth of his housemate's body as she hugged him tightly. He hugged back without hesitation. "Why is he dead? Why didn't God listen to me?" he croaked. Olette stroked his hair softly. "Because life isn't fair," she replied in a hoarse voice. "I miss him though! I miss him so fucking much!" Olette's tears were beginning to soak Hayner's shirt and vice versa but they took no notice. They remained like that for a while, saying nothing. Just holding eachother and crying.

Crying for a friend.

Crying for a housemate.

For a lover.

For Roxas.

I never thought I'd write something like this!

For those of you who didnt understand:

Roxas, Hayner and Olette lived together but Roxas and Hayner were lovers. However as time progressed, Hayner became more distant whereas Roxas and Olette grew closer. Then Roxas died. Of blood cancer. This is just what happened after the death.

Roxas, Hayner and Olette (c) to Square Enix

I'm Already There (c) Westlife

Poem (c) Me

I wrote the poem for someone close to me who recently died so if you dont like it then whatever but it means a lot to me. The entire poem thingy is based on fact. Not Kingdom Hearts fact but actual my life fact.

Hope you enjoyed!