Why Not Me?

By JigokuHana

Winry gazed at us with her caring eyes.

"But I see you finally beat her."

My thoughts halted. How did she know about Sloth? We never told her anything about the monster we created. She couldn't know.

It hit me...this wasn't our Winry.

"You are not Winry Rockbell."

Al went to attack the imposter of our childhood friend. I was just about to help my brother knock this phony's block off...but the next words that came from 'Winry's' mouth, even though it wasn't her, stopped me dead in my tracks...just like it had Al.

"ALPHONSE, YOU'RE THE ONE I'VE ALWAYS LOVED!!"

My mind went blank.

Wh...what?!

I had never even conceived the idea of Winry...our best friend...falling in love with my little brother. Of course I could see her reasoning. Al was kind, sweet, sensitive, & gentle...everything I wasn't. I reminded myself this wasn't Winry, for about the 50th time since those words left her mouth, yet it failed to snap me back to reality in any way. Just those words...with her voice...shut down any sense of reasoning I had.

Winry...why

My mind flashed to when we were little. Untainted by the horrors to come in our lifetime. Winry & Al running beside me, the young blonde catching up to me. We tumbled down a hill, laughing our asses off. I had felt something heavy on my chest & looked up...to find Winry's flushed face almost touching my own. Though I had pushed her off, claiming I would get 'cooties', my already flushed face had taken on an even redder tint...one that wasn't the result of exhaustion.

How...how could you choose him

Another flash. We were in our motel room in Rush Valley 1 year ago. The sight of her tears bringing a sting to my heart. I tried to console her. She knew what Al & I were trying to accomplish. Yet she cried still. That's all I ever make her do.

Winry. Why? WHY, DAMMIT

Her smiling face. Shining with pride after I had 'won' that automail arm wrestling contest.

Why Al?! Why not, not...!

Winry. Congratulating me on my 16th birthday.

Winry. Saying she cried for me and Al.

Winry. Fixing my automail.

Winry just being...herself.

Why...why not me

Winry braiding my blackened hair. Blushing as she told me she'd braid it in the first place...and I had let her.

Why not me?!

Amazing how many thoughts can run through your head in 3 seconds. I no longer saw the blonde girl I had grown up with. I no longer saw my mechanic...or the girl I had fallen in love with. Now I just saw a monster.

Envy already had Al in his vice-like grip.

"Well, that was easy."