Luck or Curse

by Matsuo Hotaru

To find the one you might not want… sounds ridiculous right. Well what if you have a temporary immortality until you find them and all you know is you need to keep to one certain area where you will eventually cross paths but it still might not be happily ever after… That is Kagome's luck.

To find the one you might not want… sounds ridiculous right. Well what if you have a temporary immortality until you find them and all you know is you need to keep to one certain area where you will eventually cross paths but it still might not be happily ever after… That is Kagome's luck.

Luck or Curse

A promise without a promise, that is her situation but she only has one real choice and that is to remain and so remain she has to this one area where she will eventually find the one to put an end to all of this one way or another. It isn't quite like finding your other half, your soul mate as she is aware but it is all she has because until she meets them she will remain. Death, sickness, and all those ailments that could have at one time ended her life or claimed her are now out of reach until she meets that one person.

The God's promised she will meet them but they didn't promise the result.

It was confusing since at first she thought they were saying the man she is destined to fall in love with is in the future and she just needs to live until then but that wasn't quite what it is. They didn't really say much but it was certain she will come to realize who they are but it might be too late when she does; everything was given to her almost as a yin and yang effect. She may fall in love but their heart might not be hers and so she felt it was cruel for them to do this to her after all her efforts. Normally you would think the Gods would want to give you something nice in return for all your hard work and good deeds but this hardly feels fair. Why should she be forced to live until she finds this mysterious person just to fall in love and maybe die with a broken heart? It wasn't all the details but it was the majority of it. Soulmates must not exist and apparently her closest match is far into the future.

Trudging through the forest she keeps isolated and does her best to not show her face often to others but one thing that never changed is her need to help others. That is where a cloak comes in handy; keeping her face hard to distinguish so no one ever realizes that she hasn't aged. With her bought goods in tow she could hear what sounded like fighting earlier. 'I thought the land was in some kind of great peace now,' she sucked on her bottom lip trying to recall what the current events are. As an immortal of sorts she doesn't tend to keep up with everything, just the basics so she isn't entirely clueless. Right now is the era of ninja with great power, possibly greater than her friends and allies of the past.

Continuing on her way home she got around to tending to her home where she took injured people and animals in to keep them from death, taking on the role of a healer. It was something that kept her busy and from falling entirely into depression or anything of that sort. She worked through her day getting water from the river to boil and logs to chop, it was chores she has done over a thousand times, maybe triple that at this point as she lost track of what year it is once again. All she really knows is the world has changed and though her area tends to remain quite nice through the year, it does have periods of rain that mucks up the forest floor or small snowfalls that kill her crops. The food she needs to feed others and she for some reason has kept up the habit of eating even though she cannot die but she can still get malnourished she learned but it takes triple the amount of time compared to a normal human.

Human… heh, is she really even considered a human at this point and what about later?

Hauling the logs into a store space she always begins to fill up at this time of year so she needn't bother with going out into the snow every day. With dried food and gallons of water she reserves for the winter months she knew the mucky floors will be here at any point. Thunder rumbled overhead and she could see lightning crack across the sky as she turned her head towards the window. The heavens began to pour as explosions sounded in the distance.

With a frown she felt bad for anyone out there but this is just Mother Nature doing her thing. This is only the beginning of storm season and after that is the cold, precisely why she starts with the wood now so it is nice and dry by the time the snow comes. With little else to do she listened to the sounds around her with barely a thought in her mind.

A day passed her by, just another one she didn't really pay much heed to. This day she will forage in the woods for anything of use. It was getting mucky as she trudged through the mess, her footfalls nowhere near quiet as she carefully stepped around trying not to slip. Her clumsiness still knows no bounds but she thankfully hasn't been that bad in recent years… or was it decades…

She couldn't really care but she knows one thing… getting clean around here isn't easy and the nearest hot spring that doesn't cost money is half an hour's walk from here. At this time of year she doesn't even bother and just keeps a small tub of water to wash in at the back of her home, fully enclosed of course. She may live in isolation these days but that doesn't mean she is alone. It is a world of ninja and it isn't rare for her to see them passing through as she does her chores. Sliding on the mud a little she gained her balance via a nearby tree with large enough roots that she can sit down and rest a minute on. Wiping the sweat from her brow she paused and turned her head towards a noise.

It sounded like someone groaning in pain.

Carefully getting up she made her way through the muck around another tree to find a man lying on his stomach, not even conscious, and close to having all the muck drown him if it builds up around him any further. Arranging her bag to drape over her back she felt glad that he doesn't look real heavy but is wearing more durable clothing. From the headband attached to loose straps and other telltale signs she knew this man is a ninja and probably one of the ones fighting yesterday. The symbol wasn't familiar to her so she figured he might be a long ways from home.

"Well I guess here goes nothing," she grabbed his arm as she crouched down, trying to get some balance and firm footing as she tried to heft him on to her back. With a slip she yelled out and got a face full of mud. "Bleh," she spat it from her mouth trying to wipe it away. It was long and she slipped many times but by nightfall she had him to her place where she stripped him of most of his attire.

The pain of it all was trying to clean him up from the mud before hauling him to her spare futon nearly naked. His sculpted body was thankfully lighter with most of the clothes and all of the gear off of him. Covering his body up Kagome could see the signs of fatigue and fever covering his face. Her night will be long as she tended to him and washed up in the nearby river along with his clothes but it wasn't much different than what she has done several times before. Getting back to her hut and stripping off her wet clothes she changed to her dry night shirt and pinned everything up in the hut to dry near a crackling fire.

The first things his groggy mind picked up were the smell of a campfire and the cracking of the wood in it. A damp cloth was removed from his head as his ears picked up the sound of something being submerged in water before it came back up getting the excess liquid squeezed out a little and being replaced on his forehead much cooler than it had been before. On reflex he called to the sand in his gourd to grab hold of the hand pressed against the cloth but he couldn't even sense his sand or the gourd and had little chakra to use. When that failed he picked his hand up in an attempt to grab it but failed as the strength left him and it flopped back to its previous place.

"Don't worry I'm just a healer that chanced upon you," a soothing feminine voice spoke to him.

Bleary but determined he opened his eyes and searched for their face, trying to bring it into focus. "Where-," he only managed to get out, he felt so weak.

"Land of Hot Water, not far from the Land of Fire," she answered not surprised in the least about his determination to get a grasp on his situation even in this reduced state. "About a day from the border if that helps…"

Nothing was said after that as she looked into piercing aqua orbs. 'He is really striking in appearance,' she took a good look at him as his eyes barely remained open as he kept his thoughts to himself. It wasn't like she expected him to have the strength to do so or the want. The eyes remained open barely for a minute longer when he lost the battle and fell back into the restful slumber.

It would be another couple days until he stirred again and found his body sore and still heavily fatigued. After listening to his surroundings he could tell someone was not far behind him to his right and with more effort than he cared for exerting to do such a simple task he sat up holding his head as he felt it get all wishy washy on him. With a few moments just focusing on his breathing and gaining his equilibrium he cracked open an eye and turned his head slightly. Sitting against a wall was a young woman by appearance. He could still remember the feminine voice from when he woke earlier. Outside the windows held a rainy night with towering trees telling him he is not in a village from the looks of it. He didn't want to stay longer but he could hardly sit up and he has a feeling the moment he walks out that door he will be akin to a sitting duck.

Hearing her adjust as she stretched and covered a tired yawn she looked over at him nearly doing a double take when she realized he was looking right back at her. At the end of his futon he could see his clothes looking clean and dry, neatly folded with the straps and headband placed next to them. The headband alone would make it clear he is of the sand but he wasn't sure if she knew that.

"Thank you for your help," he nodded over at her figuring it would be best to show his host some appreciation as he may never know what they might have gone through just to get him to this point.

"You're welcome. I doubt you would have been happy dying because you suffocated in a bunch of mud," her voice lightened up the room as he got a good look at her periwinkle eyes.

"Indeed I wouldn't have," he agreed with her as he recalled finally collapsing with chakra exhaustion.

She carefully moved over to the pot and grabbed a bowl to dip out some broth that appeared to have various herbs in it. "I have been feeding you this to help your body recover while you were out. I can get you some dried meat as well if you would like some," she offered, always the hospitable one.

"No thank you, you have been kind enough in helping me," he accepted the broth but from the looks of her place he doubted she had much to live off of in the first place. It would be one thing if he had a way of repaying her kindness but he doesn't at this moment.

"Oh you don't have to worry about me. It is more important that you get back up on your feet again. I'm not sure where you are from since I'm not familiar with that symbol on your headband but I have seen a lot of ninja from the neighboring country around here lately," she supplied, freely giving the information that will help him piece things together. "Go ahead and rest as much as you need to, this place is protected by a barrier so no harm will come to you while you are in my care."

"A barrier," he looked at her surprised to hear that.

"I'm a priestess, I make it my duty to help the injured and sick I come across," she reaffirmed with him feeling just a little off around him.

He nodded as he tried to soak in all the information into something useable for later as he sipped from his bowl. 'This is the first time I have met a priestess. I didn't know some of them are healers,' he remained in thought for a while and already figured he has the answer to his question. "I'm guessing then you found no one else out there," he turned to gauge the emotions on her face.

"I came back here after I found you and haven't been out that far since," she answered thinking maybe she should have gone back but then again he was ill and needed tending to right away.

"It is okay, they should have gotten away," he recalled staying behind to hold the enemy off while they got a chance to leave even though they didn't want to leave him behind. As their Kazekage he demanded they do so in order for him to protect them.

Over the course of the next week as he recovered she learned that he had come this far away to make a peace treaty with a growing ninja village in the Land of Frost but was instead ambushed by them. He managed to save everyone from the trap they walked into and over the course of four days they tried to steadily make it at least to their allies in the Land of Fire but the attacks on them became taxing to defend against while also trying to support the others when they ran low on chakra or were injured and with a final effort to see them make it out alive he ordered them to continue without him. He stood up against several enemy ninja alone as the water poured down and made his sand heavy. Using everything he had from paper bombs to smoke screens he forced them into retreat before he continued on until he eventually collapsed.

One other thing she learned is that he is the current Kazekage, the head ninja basically in the ninja village located in the Land of Wind. The trip alone was still a several day journey and in case of further attacks she needed to make sure he left in top shape. As the next couple days went by she was unsure how to take him doing the majority of her chores even though she insisted he doesn't need to. It didn't take long for him to realize she is completely alone out here and so he took it upon himself to make sure she doesn't need to chop wood, gather water, or hunt while he is here.

Sitting on the small deck covered by the overhang she looked out into the woods as he came out toweling his hair dry from rinsing off in the back. Over the years she has met many and never did they make her stomach get all knotted with butterflies or make her flustered with a single look. Though she has been wrong before, she has a feeling he is the one she has been waiting for and it is just her luck. He is this powerful ninja that is the leader of a ninja village a several day journey from here. She was tempted to ask him to stay, she really likes his companionship but he has much more important duties and responsibilities lying on his shoulders rather than sitting around with her in this secluded area. It won't be until he is gone that she will have a quicker way of telling if he is the one. On top of that, just because she will grow attached and fall in love, she wasn't promised he would feel the same way about her in return.

Why did the Gods force her to stay alive for so long just to endure such a miserable fate? The chances of her seeing him again after this are slim. It is rare she ever sees the people she heals ever again. Her face is just one the many that becomes blurred over with time…

"Why live out here alone," he asked as he noticed how quiet she has grown.

"Well I suppose you could say I am waiting on something and someone, plus this is all I have known for years now," she supplied wanting to give him as much of the truth as she possibly can. It isn't like she is forbidden from saying anything; it is more like no one would believe the truth without proof.

He sat down next to her looking out at the wet forest. "It is quiet and calming out here," he commented.

"Yes it is…" she agreed with him and fought to not look his way

A couple days later she approached the door to her home and opened it a bit in dread as Gaara looked up recognizing the tracking party behind her. She moved out of the way as the men began to rejoice at seeing the Kazekage alive and well. Moving out of the room back to the deck she let them have some privacy as they reunited and reported back to the others through their headsets about finding him.

"Kagome, thank you again for everything," he gave her a small smile that made her heart stop.

Swallowing her nerves she gave him a small one back. "Any time," she responded back as they walked on to the soggy ground. In a whisper she said, "Take care," and watched them depart, taking to the trees. They went out of sight and somehow she just knew he is the one that got away as she couldn't bear to burden another with what feels more like a cursed existence. She never understood why the Gods did what they did… it felt more like a punishment as she had long ago seen all over of her loved ones die or disappear while she continued to remain in this one area for more than a couple thousand years now.

The next day it was absolute as she felt the change in her. Gaara really was the one that got away and since she has no plans to seek him out and doubts he will ever be this way any time soon she knew her days are numbered regardless. Today was day 1 of her total 365 days. Every time he returns the effects will stop and she will heal but the day after he leaves she will start to die slowly as the count continues. They make her live this long for one person and no sure way of knowing it is him until he is gone and he lives countries away from here. With a bitter smile she felt the tears leak out of her eyes as she returned to bed. This is the definition of cursed love…

The winter months came, it has been a total of 98 days since he left and the snow fall was beginning to let up as the cold season began to leave already. Sitting in her small hut eating some warm soup she watched the flakes fall from the sky as she was torn from wanting to give up or make the most of her numbered days.

It isn't like she can die early but she can put herself in a position where she will fall unconscious and remain that way for the remainder of her time. Her strength is being sapped out of her as she woke each day and grew less and less productive. With a place like this that would make a good home or vacation spot for someone else she came to think less and less about dying in it but instead going out. With 267 days left she could be jumping the gun a little and could finally go travel the area instead if she really cared to. With an exhausted sigh she couldn't make up her mind as she sat down her half eaten bowl.

A few days later as she sat curled up against a post snoozing she was surprised when she felt her body being shaken awake. Though nippy out the weather wasn't that bad and she had a blanket around her so she wasn't sure who would be here shaking her awake. With tired eyes she picked up a crimson sleeve first until she turned her eyes to look into familiar aqua orbs and at that point she felt her jaw hit the floor.

"Kagome you shouldn't sleep out in the cold like this," his voice came across as worried, small white puffs of air coming out of his mouth.

"Gaara," she blinked at him still not believing he is really there even though she is now fully alert.

His eyes still looked at her concerned. "I'm heading through the area on business," he watched her blink at him as he felt her head for a fever or anything as she looks sick to his eyes. "Are you feeling well, maybe I should have my medic take a look at you," he frowned feeling unhappy that she doesn't look as healthy like she did before.

Shaking her head she quickly said, "No I am fine. Just accidentally doze off outside is all. Would you like some tea or anything?"

He didn't look convinced but did follow her inside along with his men. They ended up resting there a few hours and though she did look better by the time they left he decided they will check back in on her when they are on the return trip home. "I will see you again soon when I am finished with my business," he informed her before taking off back into the forest surrounding her place.

"I didn't expect to ever see him again," she mumbled and stared off into the distance as she felt hope rise in her chest at recalling he is going to stop back again soon. "Oh knock it off Kagome, it isn't like he is going to stay and besides it took 102 days for me to see him again… he is just wrapping up business in the area and then who knows when he will be around again…" It felt hard to not get her hopes up but really, she isn't sure what she wants, to see Gaara more or finally find peace in an eternal slumber.

Gaara held a question on his mind as he was taking care of his business with the Land of Lightning and the Land of Hot Water. He didn't know why he cares so much but he does consider her a friend. She willingly took in a ninja that is possibly the enemy but that made no difference to her and he figured she would help any other ninja as well. It has been a few days since he has seen her and he is anxious to return he noticed.

Kagome began the count once again and reached 259 days that she has left. On what would have marked 107 days since he first left, he showed up with a tired bunch and noticed her sniffles. Gaining a cold wasn't on the top of her list but she managed to get one. It confirmed what she already knew. With a smile she greeted them. "You guys are back. Would you like to rest the night here," she addressed them all seeing the other men in his group looking more on the worn out side.

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble we would appreciate it," Gaara responded as he noticed she wasn't looking so well once again. "I want Tasu, to give you a checkup," he heard him step forward while she looked as if she might object. "No objections Kagome, you look ill again."

An odd expression crossed her face looking between neutral and pouting. She stood aside as they made themselves comfortable before the medic had her sit down by them. "This won't take long Lady Kagome. Consider it as one healer keeping the other healer healthy," Tasu spoke to her as he caught the almost guilty look she had before coughing into her fist. "Okay now open up wide and say ah," he instructed.

Those pools of aqua watched and listened to them as he watched her reactions by the time it was done the medic did verify she has a cold but looked puzzled. "I will check you over one more time before we leave. Until then how about I do the cooking and you relax," he could see her eyes flash from him to Gaara, mouth opened about to protest the suggestion but the very way Gaara stood before her gave a clear message… He is not letting her have her way. "Great idea Tasu and we still have some food with us from the village that we can finish."

"That's right Lord Gaara, I will get started right away," he excused himself from their presences.

"Gaara really this all unnecessary," she wasn't about to just cave in. He doesn't realize that this is all for naught and she never had someone come back around like this.

He shook his head as he stood there with crossed arms and a gourd on his back. "Maybe to you but in my eyes this is the right thing to do."

'The right thing… then is keeping silent about this curse the right thing?' She felt a shred of doubt hit her for a moment but then she realized he would then likely feel guilt. 'No the right thing is keeping silent; this was just a fluke thing. Even should he be passing by again I will possibly be dead or gone so the right thing is letting him just remain in the dark and never bear the guilt of my death,' she squared her shoulders and though he could see the emotions as plain as day on her face he misunderstood them to a small degree. "Fine you win this time but after this it is all on me, I'm the host not you," she stubbornly told him.

He cracked a smile as he already knows how stubborn she can be. Turning to go in further he looked at her again as he noticed her skin was gaining a healthier glow to it once again. Not really thinking on it further he was just glad she is still doing okay.

The night passed on with some light chatter before they all turned in for bed. They had watched each other from over the small fire as the rest shared stories and jokes to get them all laughing and well entertained. She was one of the first ones to fall asleep as they all lay down but Gaara remained up a while longer just standing at the door staring up at the moon hovering in a starlit sky over the tall trees of the forest. Occasionally he would look back over at Kagome to study her peaceful face until he finally turned in to rest as well.

Another day and another farewell… Gaara had made sure they all helped her out in some way from patching up the place to doing any chores while she made breakfast. He had still basically won and got his way that morning as he let her cook breakfast as she practically demanded, not realizing they would still be doing something or other while she did so. He didn't feel good about her living all alone out in the middle of the woods far from help but at this point he could really do nothing about it. She was on his mind all the way back to Suna and only a few weeks later he took a huge detour when he left Konoha to check up on her before heading home once again. The detour was an extra two day journey one way but he couldn't care less… he just had to see her.

The night had already grown late when he arrived in the darkness. Instead of finding Kagome already inside he found her sitting out at the river bank looking at the reflection of the moon on the surface of the gently moving water. "Kagome," he jumped down from a tree gaining her wide eyed look as she whipped her head around.

"Gaara," she blinked in disbelief once again as she sat with a blanket once again.

Sitting down next to her and taking the gourd off his eyes took in the sharper edges to her face and the near hollow look around her eyes. The frown returned to his face as he thought she looked even worse this time. "Why do you look ill again? Are you eating right or sleeping enough," he began to question her as he quickly began to think of reasons she might look this way again. She hadn't responded to him yet as she sat looking surprised to see him while he felt a loose lock of hair, noticing the shine wasn't fully there but it looked freshly washed.

"I- umm…" she just couldn't wrap her mind around the fact he was back yet again. In her mind she knew 38 days had passed since he was last here and now she has 221 days left… she is getting closer to half a year. Seeing it was just him she asked, "Where are your men?"

Not happy with the redirection he answered with a slight frown, "In the village staying at the inn. Now why do you look unwell again?"

"I feel fine," she simply replied looking him in the eyes before turning to gaze at the water again.

The frown grew deeper and the sense of her hiding something from him grew to where he joined her as he reflected on all of their past interactions. It didn't make him feel good but what could he do? "How are the kids?"

A small smile touched her face at the new topic. She helps orphans survive harsh weather and find new homes. "They are doing fine. A few of them were over the day before…" her voice continued on as she spoke about the kids and what they are up to. Gaara had met them the first time he was here. They were really excited to see him control the sand and be given rides on it. "Choi is with traveling builder, Amui is with a nice older lady that loves to tend her garden and harvest honey from bees. The rest are still in a house at the edge of town."

Seeing her eyes glow with her happiness for them is what made him notice her a little more. For what time he has spent around her he still knows little more than her name and location. She is a bit of a mystery to him. For as open as she is with her emotions, her mouth is not nearly so. With little to go off of he yearned to know more and be in her presence as strange as he found it. Never has he wanted such.

Once again as time stretched on he noticed she was once again looking better as the seconds and minutes continue to pass by. 'Kagome… what is it about you that draws me in so…?' He contemplated it time and time again, always going home with her on his mind and sitting in his office finding his mind turning to her as he worked on papers. Now here he is, having gone far out of his way to see her after he had just gone slightly out of his way just over a month ago to check in on her. It bothered him by the time he left the first time he stayed here that she is completely alone out here, living off the land and helping orphans. She looked so healthy and somewhat content at that point but now something appears to have changed because she instead looks sickly as if nearing death but has no symptoms. Seeing her look tired, a bit sad, and like she has bitterly accepted something is not what he wants to see on her face and the surprise she always has in seeing him, it was like she never thought he would return or cross paths with her. It made for many odd and perplexing thoughts that never straighten out or make total sense.

It was already late in the night as they sat there only being lit by the moon and stars. The river continued to fly by while the crickets chirped, the frogs croaked, and the other nightlife made for a calming night of music made up of nature. The desert has none of this and so he relished in the sounds of the night as he enjoyed her company. With an arm draped over a knee he silently reflected as he stared out at the river's edge watching the moon play across the moving surface of water while occasionally sneaking glances at this seemingly mysterious woman.

He could have blamed his actions on many things, even said he was possessed by the moonlight but he did neither. It was just simply that he finds her beautiful, like a lost desert rose he has found to take back with him or claim a small token. Her smiles and light hearted laughter with the children that first time has continued to ring in his ears while her subtle charms continued to sway his heart and mind. With barely a thought he claimed those rosy lips for but a few seconds as his knuckles brushed across her cheek. An unplanned move like that was not usual for him but as he looked at her with hooded eyes he wasn't about to apologize. If anything he wanted to press the soft flesh of their mouths back together again while she is still willing but he didn't and wasn't sure why. Turning back to the water he left her stunned and looking at him with all of her emotions on display as her mouth and mind failed to form words.

"It's late, we should turn in for the night," he intercepted the silence a couple minutes later. Another change of subject, or more like a diversion, she accepted it for what it was as she struggled to squeeze out the blossoming hope in her chest. Sure he kissed her but this isn't a fairy tale like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty where her trouble can be solved by a kiss. She still felt that change in her, her life slightly lingering on immortality until he once again leaves, then she will be back to the quickly fading mortality. By the time anything develops between, if it does, she will be near her death bed. Who is to say that he will even come back? An unexpected kiss like that with no reason given signifies that he is still trying to grasp whatever he is feeling or thinking and might leave feeling embarrassed or end up discarding his confusing feelings. Maybe she should be more hopeful but really she will still continue to be surprised every time he does come back but should the trend continue, she is going to hit the road…

A man like this Kazekage is honorable and caring. Should he come around while she is in the last of her dying days he would not part unless it was for a healer. Eventually she will get better and already she can tell he is noticing this trend with her health. It was not something she ever plans to inform him of but he might figure out that her health is connected to his presence. Standing and brushing her pants off as he secured his gourd on to his back she silently headed back to the house unsure what the future holds for her. Eventually she will end up dying, whether it is of this curse or old age she knew not but leaned more towards the former. It is not in her intention to see him suffer over her and so she stole a glance at him hoping for the answer to the future to spring forth… unfortunately it didn't.

Lying on the spare futon she spread out for him he fell into slumber after seeing her peaceful face. He wouldn't know until after he was submerged into the land of dreams that it would haunt him there with a deathly pale look before he would find himself watching a scene… It was a scene of him creating her final resting place as he used the sand to carve her name on to the headstone at the roots of an anonymous tree with bundles of flowers lying on both sides of her grave. Even in this vivid dream he could feel how much it hurt to breathe. 'Why am I seeing her dead in my dream,' he asked as he continued to watch the event taking place on that sunny day.

Sitting up with a start as he held his head, the warmth of the dying fire met his senses and he looked straight over to where he could hear her soft breathing. A healthy glow shined on her skin whereas in his dream she had clearly been dead long enough for her body to turn cold. 'Was that a vision or a dream?' He felt alarmed and confused, having never experienced such a phenomenon before, he wasn't sure how to take it or what to make of it. 'Maybe my worries for her health are just following me into slumber,' he thought about it, finding it made sense. Though hesitant he let his mind accept it as that as he rolled back down to the floor hoping to find rest once more.

The next day came early and he was soon on his way to collect his men and make the journey home. They spoke nothing of the unexpected kiss and he did his best to forget about the dream. To him it might be best just to put her out of his mind. Eventually they will cross paths once again but for now he has a village to return to and run. She has lived this long without the need for anybody else to come around, she will be fine without him now just as she was before they met. These were some of the thoughts he continually supplied his brain every time he thought of her, which was often. Rather than let his mind linger on the mysterious woman that has grabbed his attention he pushed himself to focus on things he deemed more important as he pushed to create distance between them through physical and mental means.

By the time a few weeks had passed he had been for the most part successful at banishing her from his mind but not completely. The same couldn't have been said for her though as she continued to remember the kiss and in turn kept sprouting hope in her mind as the days turned to weeks which turned to a month… then eventually two…

No it wasn't so easy for her to banish him from her mind since she knows her life is connected to his presence. At 63 days of him not being around she began to feel sorrow. Her knees growing weak as she leaned heavily on her spade in her garden. The days have grown harder indeed and as she recognized the passage of time as another 8 days slipped on by she found that at 71 days since his last visit, he might have decided to avoid her or even forget about her entirely. As it is he has more on his platter than she does and having romance with a woman that is a simple nobody would not be high on his list of priorities. The depression as her hope began to feel crushed had only further served to zap her of strength and will to keep moving until her final days.

The children were one of the few motivators that kept her going. Waking up to only having 150 days left alive… not even half a year had spurred her on to teaching the kids more about living off the earth as she began to ready herself. Sitting on the porch supervising their work she leaned against the support beam she remembered that she wasn't even guaranteed that should he fall in love with her and choose to be with her, she still might not be safe from dying during times that he is away. 'My pathetic life has been entertainment for the Gods for over three thousand years… that is more than thirty lifetimes… I must be being punished for mine and Kikyo's mistakes. Shattering the jewel cost many lives and I doubt I saved nearly enough over the years to make up for it and on top of that Kikyo lived off the souls of women passing on to the afterlife, preventing them from doing so. I'm sure by the time she returned to her grave it was either in the high hundreds or thousands. Even should he return, it would be a mistake to hope or be here again… cutting ties is the only mercy I can give him.'

These sad days dwindled until she counted another 30 passed by… another month resulting in only 120 days left. The kids had long noticed the changes in her and though still curious, they stopped asking questions. She gave them specific instructions, informing them that when she leaves the place will be theirs to take care of and live in should they so choose. With four months left to live she made her plans to travel and eventually find her final resting place for when she grew too weak to carry on. For over three thousand years she has remained in this one spot confused about the fate given to her by the Gods and she felt so naïve to have thought at one point that she is living this long to find her other half, that they were just not telling her that so she can figure it out on her own. By now she is just a thing of the past to Gaara but he will be the one that got away… the one she let get away… To have felt such hope had truly been crushing and to live your life forced to wait until you meet that single person and then just let it go like this… she wasn't sure if she has regrets about it but she is feeling happier about the end finally coming near.

She rested a lot the next few days to try and gain back some energy. It might have been stupid as she slept for several hours both days before waking to the third in the evening with a very unexpected guest in her home sitting by the crackling fire as they looked at her with questions in their gaze. Although surprised she didn't want to believe he is really here again, not after she had finally given up hope. "Lord Gaara," she surprised him with the unexpected use of his title.

He should have seen this coming as he has been avoiding her. A man should not just kiss a woman, leading them on and then leave planning to never be by again. What he did was wrong and he came to apologize for it. "I have been here since early this morning," he quietly said as his gaze landed on her picking her apart for answers to questions he has yet to voice. Finding her looking so ill once again and overhearing the worries of the children had changed his reason for being here to being more than just one simple reason. He only came to stop by for a short apology and then leave but finding her asleep so deeply that he couldn't wake her has troubled him once again. She is holding a secret that he wants to know but is unsure if he should pry. Coming with the intention of ending things between them had left him not feeling like he has the right to force her to open up when he only plan on leaving once gain and most likely for good. It isn't like he finds her to be insignificant or undesirable; he just is not interested in a relationship or holding feelings for someone that lives as far away as she does.

Maybe he is making a mistake but he really shouldn't doubt himself at this point. "I came to apologize for my actions from before," he watched her eyes dim a little further and the once emotional eyes become unreadable as she turned her eyes to look away from him.

'So he regrets it,' she felt the heartache in her chest as the icy tendrils of death seemed to be grabbing her once more. Knowing that he is looking for a reply as she felt her body weaken she sat up and gazed into the fire. "It is fine Lord Gaara, thank you for stopping by," she knew such a statement could only mean he had no plans on sticking around this time.

"Regardless I am sorry," his clothes rustled as she watched him stand and begin to move towards the doorway. With a hand on the doorframe he looked at her as he noted the distance between them and how sad her posture made her look even if it did not reflect on her face. "I wish you well," he left as his parting words before he disappeared off her front porch.

The rejection hit her hard and though she tried to stand a wave of dizziness hit Kagome and she fell, passing out shortly after her head hit the floor. This must be a side effect of the curse, of what will happen should this fated person reject her.

It would take a couple more days for her to wake seeing the concerned faces of the children as they sat around the hut with puffy faces. She struggled to get up and comfort them but as if a hundred days were sucked from her she felt her arms give out and the fatigue already set in. Miserable as she could only listen to them go on and on about how they were not sure if she would ever wake again, she felt the repetitive stabbing of a knife in her chest as they wailed and she remembered the last visit from Gaara. One that was meant to be his final one…

A fool she is indeed… because even when she could already tell what he was going to say after he stated his reason for being here… she had hoped for an alternative. Her heart ached for him something fierce but she could do nothing to defend against the blows.

With the kids still wailing around her she felt a small ounce of determination enter her veins. On weak arms pushed herself up and scooted over to lean into the corner of the hut. "Kids gather 'round so I only need to say this once," she instructed and heard them quiet into sniffles until they surrounded her. "I need to go on a journey that I will not be returning from. My time in this area is up," her voice was gentle but weak as they fought to withhold their sobs.

"But Kagome," one looked up at her trying to rub the tears from their eyes.

"No buts from any of you," she left no argument for them to carry. "I have done my best to teach you well, it is time for you to look out for each other and find your way in life without my guidance." It seemed harsh but she has taught them as much as she could while she still could. "Now prepare a meal and afterwards I will be leaving and this place will be yours."

The kids felt distressed but did as they were told even if they wanted to protest. She dozed off while they cooked and woke to a steaming bowl in front of her face. With sniffles from the children they ate in silence and then helped her to stand. On unstable legs she walked to the doorway where the kids gave her the long bow she kept and the quiver of arrows. She sat down on the porch to give them all hugs and a quiet goodbye before she used the bow like a cane to walk slowly across the clear stretch of land and into the forest. Nothing could force her to let the kids watch her die and become a rotting corpse so her only goal was to follow the river downstream until she could no more and finally take her place to rest most likely against a tree.

Looking to the heavens she questioned why this is to be her fate and felt like a child being punished and rejected by their parents. She still held no hate towards anyone but wished to have at least known why she is being hurt in such ways. Never did she think his rejection would do so much to her and hurt her so badly. It was like her whole world was flipped upside down and her body is dying of a broken heart. 'Why am I this way,' she questioned. 'Will my next life be punished or will this suffice enough so they can live happily?'

Many others would have possibly grown resentful towards the one causing such a sour turn in events but she could only think that she must deserve it. The Gods are supposed to be merciful beings and she already knows her mistakes have been costly as well as Kikyo's. Her soul is carrying the burden of failure and punishment it seemed. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered in her mind as she continued her slow and grueling pace. 'I wish I hadn't been so horrible.'

Miles from home at this point and a few days later she rested against a tree feeling even worse for wear. She wasn't calling this spot her resting place but for now she could go no further. Not a single minute passed that she didn't feel guilt or like a nobody. It took a day but she managed to get up and drink from the river as it rushed by. After the small refresher and taking care of other needs she hobbled on down the winding path that trailed along by the river. At some point she won't be able to carry on and there she will have to rest until she fades away into death's comforting embrace.

'Death, since when did it ever have a comforting embrace?' Her mind rolled that around as she remembered the days she would fight to keep others alive and away from the cold tendrils of death. Now here she is calling it comforting… how times change. Gaara will hopefully stay far from it for a long time to come but she looks forward to it. 'Gaara… this is for the best.' Kagome looked up through the leaves to the blue sky.

As the sun descended in the sky she had a harder time seeing where she was going as the wind blew the dead leaves on the ground to swirl around behind her. Grabbing a low branch as her foot gave a little; she could feel rocks and twigs under foot in the loose soil. Taking a breath as she gained her footing once again she continued on a few feet more when she lost her balance at the sudden steepness of the hill that looked more like a cliff. "Ahh!" She tumbled down hitting rocks and getting twigs caught up in her hair. Her fingers dug into the earth but failed to stop the rough fall down the sharp decline. "Oww – ee," she felt the sharp sting on her forehead and raised her arms up to protect her head on instinct until she hit the uplifted roots of a tree tilted away from the hill. With a pained sigh she dropped her arms feeling worn out as a warm substance began track down around her left brow.

Her energy was hardly there as she looked around daze and rested her head against a root looking at the colors splashed across the sky as night fell in the forest. The hoots of an owl filled the air as a squirrel paused in its scurry across the ground to listen and twitch their tail. It was all she knew at that point until she drifted off for a snooze. "So pathetic," she whispered out into the forest.

Gaara sat in the meeting feeling restless and finding it hard to focus. He thought he was doing the right thing in ending things. They live days apart and knew little about each other, he was clearly not thinking when he kissed her out of nowhere. So why now does he feel so concerned about her and why are the dreams becoming more intense as his guilt grows? 'Kagome…' he frowned and realized he has become distracted once more.

"Lord Gaara," an urgent and slightly annoyed voice caught his attention and he snapped his head to the Raikage. He watched the man sigh, "You are distracted today, it isn't like you."

"My apologies Lord Darui," he knew the man took no offense but he is right, now he is incredibly distracted.

"If you have something to take care of you may go ahead and we will postpone the rest of the meeting until you get back," the Raikage offered.

"Thank you I do. The rest of you stay at our current lodging, I will be back as soon as possible," he got up from his spot at the table and left the room. The quick departure surprised everyone and no one could voice anything to figure out what was on his mind. Darui looked out the large window to see Gaara already on his sand leaving the village in a hurry.

"What could have gotten into him," he mumbled and left the room to attend other business.

Traveling by sand allowed him to go longer distances at a faster pace without holding back as he aimed for that hut in the Land of Hot Water. Gaara had this gnawing feeling in his gut that just wouldn't let up until he could see her with his own eyes. She was ill again and was doing worse; he couldn't believe he just turned his back on her like that when it was clear she is not doing well.

His journey lasted through the night and until the sun rose once again. The kids were there once again and sat around looking down in spirits. The sudden arrival had them looking up feeling hopeful as they watched him nod towards them and carry on straight to the house, barely knocking before he opened the door to an empty hut. Turning his attention on the children he addressed them, "Where is Kagome?"

A few lips quivered as he felt his anxiety rise. "She left a couple days after you were here, she said she was going on a journey that she won't be returning from," their eyes filled with tears.

"On a journey to where," he felt at least hopeful that she might have been doing well then if she left to go on some long trip.

"We don't know, she collapsed right after you left and didn't wake for two days! She gave us this place and disappeared into the forest hardly able to walk a few steps at a time!" The kids began to wail, the tears flying out of their eyes at losing the nice woman that helped to care for them.

It felt like someone socked him in the gut taking the air right out of him. "You can't be serious," he whispered and lifted his head to look into the woods. "Which way did you see her go?"

"She was using the trail that follows along the river going downstream," one of the kids sniffed.

"Go back to your home in town, you kids shouldn't be so far out in the woods alone," he instructed as he watched them nod and turn to trudge back to their home.

With a solemn look on his face he set out through the trees with his sand spreading out around him as he moved, sensing life forms in the area while he made a quick pace. "Kagome, what could you be thinking leaving your home? I thought you were waiting on someone," he wore what felt like a permanent frown. If he fails to make it to her in time it just might become one.

He searched for her through the next two days with barely a break. Time just felt like it was running out but he knew not why. Having his dreams still in mind, how he would discover her already dead out in the forest sent a chill right through him and the similarity of his current situation did not miss him. For all he knew she could already be beyond any help he could give her. Instead of letting her be he should have forced her to answer him about this mysterious illness, just what her purpose in remaining there had been? That reason must be over if she left but why leave from her shelter, from home, and away from help? Why is she so mysterious?

Through his sand he felt someone out here that wasn't moving from their spot up ahead. He jumped through the branches to the crest of a steep hill. Down at the bottom he could see her crumpled form curled up under the uplifted roots of a tree. She looked dirty and pale. Dropping down from the branch with a jump he landed only a couple feet away from her feeling Déjà vu at the unnerving scene. 'She couldn't be dead,' he looked at the blood trailing from her head, already dry and crusty. "Kagome," he shook her and felt the slight warmth to her skin. Her chest was still rising and falling so he knew she is still alive. 'How long has she been here,' he tried to think of how many days since he had last seen her and then minus the two days she remained home after. 'Today is the sixth day,' he calculated

The afternoon sun brought with it a nice warmth and humidity. This area has nice weather at this time of year making it pleasant day and night. She stirred and woke to see him looking displeased. "Gaara, what are you doing here," she slipped up on not calling him Lord.

"Why do you think," his face was intense and the frown only added to it.

Narrowing her eyes she huffed and turned away from him. "I didn't ask for your company and I don't care why then." It wasn't the way she wished to act around him but she might as well keep the distance he created because even now she doesn't feel any better. His rejection has allowed the curse to just do away with her and she only wishes it would hurry up and kill her.

He narrowed his eyes further in return at her sudden attitude towards him. "You've been ill again," he pointed out deciding to try and get some answers.

"I don't know what you are talking about, I feel fine," she wasn't about to budge for him on this.

Raking his eyes over her frail looking form the look on his face told what he thought about that. "I hardly call this fine."

"Then maybe you should think about what I consider fine versus what you consider fine. We obviously don't see things in the same light," she snapped at him as she tried to find her strength, to gather it up so she can make it up successfully without appearing weak hopefully. She has every intention of leaving him behind this time.

He knows she is putting on a strong front but really he has very keen eyes. It took a lot of effort for her to rise and step from the tree then past him. Rising up as well he watched her go around the tree and attempt to walk away trying to not use her bow even though her steps were faulty. A few staggering steps later and she was out, falling towards the ground until his sand wrapped around her and lifted her to his awaiting arms. "Stubborn woman," he mumbled and turned around to get back to her hut and tend to her there.

It would be another two days until she woke again giving him plenty of time to study her and try to figure out what is ailing her. She wasn't getting worse which is good but she didn't appear any better either. As foolish as he has been he has figured out what he wants, it will just take her waking up for him to go after it.

"I see you are awake again," he brought her confused gaze back over to him.

For a moment she said nothing as she noticed he only wore mesh armor for a top and then she looked upset. "What right do you have dragging me back to a place I left behind for good?"

"The right to tend to the sick at the only shelter I knew of nearby that is available," he could see this will take some time and extra effort to get things going the way he wants it to.

"I'm fine," she grumbled.

"Yes so fine that you have been passed out for two days, so fine that you collapsed after only a few steps," he became sarcastic with her, gaining a fierce look from her.

"You can leave now," she turned her head from him hoping he would.

"I'm not going to," he watched her chew her lip and cross her arms as she refused to look in his direction. Calming down his irritation towards her he figured now is the best time to speak with her while they had no interruptions. "Maybe it is because I have never been interested in anyone or maybe I am just not good at this sort of thing but I don't regret kissing you, I regret not thinking things through first. I felt like I was leading you on into a relationship that could go nowhere when we live days apart." She stilled and didn't move to interrupt him so he took that as a hopefully good sign. "I apologize for your feelings getting hurt in the process of all this," he could see she grew more rigid in her posture.

"Apology accepted," she kept turned away from him. "It is best that we don't carry on anything between us and part permanently," she cringed internally, never wanting to say those words again. "I wish you well Lord Gaara," she dismissed him with the same words he hard parted with before.

"That isn't what I was getting to Kagome," he didn't like the feeling of being rejected but he had already dished it at her. He kissed her and left the next day not returning for months only for him to apologize but reject her so he can see why she would change her mind on him. "I want you to come with me to Suna," the intake of air from her was all he needed to know she had not expected him to say that. "Before you object I only withheld from asking before because you were waiting for someone but apparently you are no longer and had been leaving this place behind for good."

"Gaara you don't know what you are asking for. I have nothing waiting for me in Suna," she hugged her knees to her chest leaving the attitude out of her voice.

"And you have nothing for you here," he replied to her statement sensing the change in her. "I want to get to know you and we can bring the orphans with us. They will have anything they need until the day they either find a new family or can support themselves."

"Gaara you can't be serious," she whipped her head around to look at him sending her hair flying around her.

He stood and moved over to where she has been resting on her futon. "Of course I am," he knelt down and tilted her chin up so they can lock eyes.

"Eh Gaara why are you looking at me like that," she felt shy as a blush touched her cheeks.

"Because I think you are beautiful and I like your eyes," he honestly replied seeing her grow nervous at his blunt statement.

"Please don't do this," she felt her will weaken and body tremble.

His aqua eyes looked down at her rosy lips. "It's too late… I already have," he brought their lips together to share a kiss. He focused on going with the feel and opened his mouth to push his tongue into her mouth and glide it along hers. This feeling is one he wants to get to know better. Parts of him reacted to her in ways they have never done so with another before. She didn't respond to him right away but he found that okay because she did respond to him and that is what counted. Things built up slowly between them as they continued to make out. Lips and tongues danced as a fire grew that he had no plans to douse. Needing air they pulled away and he made a trail of kisses down her neck. "I've never done this before," he said with heated breaths and made it to her barely veiled collar bone.

Hands only lightly touching the mesh armor she confessed, "Me neither," as his tongued licked over her collar bone and back up to her neck. Moving his legs between hers he hoisted her on to his lap. This is the closest either has ever been with another.

"I still have a meeting to finish with the Raikage. Have your answer when I return in a few days," he instructed knowing this will give her time. He dug his fingers into her black locks as she met his lips without delay. Lowering them down to the floor the fire crackled keeping them warm as they carried on until she grew tried and fell asleep snuggled in his arms. Though Gaara doesn't want to leave in the morning he knew he should finish business with the Raikage quickly and head out with his shinobi. She will hopefully agree to come live in Suna where he can feel free to pursue her.

That day came fast for Kagome as she had literally slept the time away and had a difficult time trying to choose what to do. This could be her chance to be happy, to maybe break this curse or see that it can't be… where she would then have to leave him behind. The decision weighed her down but she wanted to be hopeful and so when she woke to his worried face she went with hope for a future and not for the end.

They met with the other shinobi and the kids where Gaara then transported them part of the way via sand. The first leg of the journey she slept away but through Gaara and the kids she could keep an assumed accurate count on her days left. Should her days dwindle down to ten then the gig is up and she hoped to not leave him feeling crushed but didn't want to hold back either. By the time they reached Suna she was back to full health as his presence has gone back to helping her live again but she only has 105 days left.

He showed them to where the kids can live promising to take them shopping later and then showed her to where she can live, their places in the same building and not far from his home or office. Kagome wasn't sure what she was to do now that she has so little to do but figured if she is going to be closer to Gaara distance wise then maybe she can finally interact with kids like she used to and find a job. He never said much else, not even what the cost of the place will be. By the end of the day he had covered all up-front costs and replaced their clothes with new ones as they had all been patched plenty of times. That was how things had started and she ended her day with an actual shower while resting on an actual bed for the first time in a few thousand years. Her memory of her life in the modern era remained sharp and she could still remember the smell of her mom making oden or tea. She misses them every day terribly but they have long since died… it hurt.

"Gaara…" she sighed and hoped that she isn't making a painful mistake…

Life progressed smoothly with her seeing Gaara nearly every day as he still had to leave out of town from time to time. When he returns and doesn't see her right away she is usually doing a lot better by the time he does but on days that he goes straight to her he will enter her place, using the sand to unlock the door if she doesn't answer right away. He even had others watch her out of concern to see what he is missing and all he knows is that she always looks much weaker the day after he leaves and doesn't leave her home usually at that time. The mystery around her remained and he spoke to the well-known medics in Konoha to see if they can figure something out but all he can figure is she grows worse while he is away but gets better with him there. It was confusing and she still refused to say anything about it but he is sure she knows what is going on but for some reason has strong reservations in telling him. He had hoped with how far along their relationship has grown she would finally start to open up to him but instead she kept her past and this oddity a secret.

At the beginning of each week they would go to the market with the kids where he would buy the food and anything he thinks they need. The kids adjusted to life here and all decided to enroll into the academy, ending up looking at Gaara as an idol after learning what his position really means. No one really questioned her sudden presence at his side, at least not in front of them so it helped to keep their relationship going forward.

Feeling embarrassed she wasn't sure how he managed to get her to agree to this but standing in a tent she just finished putting on a two piece swimsuit while he remained waiting for her to stop being shy and come out of there. With butterflies fluttering in her stomach and the sound of waves crashing into the shore she swallowed thickly and unzipped the tent so she can step out. 'Why am I in a two piece of all things?!' Poking her head out first she could see him sitting looking at the ocean holding the sunscreen before turning his head to give her a smile. 'It's been about 15 months since I came to the village and have lived for over three thousand years… although I wouldn't really call that living, but still I need to stop being so nervous.'

"I thought I would end up burning before you came out," he lightly teased her seeing the rosiness to her cheeks. Handing her the bottle he asked, "Can you apply it to my back and then I will help you?"

She hesitantly took it and knelt down behind him. Sure they kiss and things but they haven't done anything real serious. Pushing the cap open and squirting some out she rubbed it between her hands then began spreading it around his back. He wore long dark blue swim trunks with a black dragon design on them. Her swimsuit is light purple with multiple strings holding the pieces together as a little extra flare. Once he was lathered up she stood to begin applying it to her pale skin, focusing on the legs first. It wasn't until she was trying to blow a strand of hair out of her face that she realized Gaara has been watching her cover the smooth flesh with the lotion. He tipped the bottle to squirt some in his hand and got up to go around behind her and start on her back while pushing the raven locks out of the way. The two of them are spending the night out here alone on a secluded part of the beach while he took an escape from work and village affairs.

"Eep!" She squeaked feeling his hands rubbing the lotion on her back.

"Kagome you should be more comfortable around me by now," he nibbled on the revealed flesh of her neck. Wrapping his arms around her he guided the hand holding the bottle to squirt more in his hand and continued on to cover her arms. He still senses she is keeping some big secret about her even though he learned about her friends and family even if he feels confused to why she never wants to visit them or introduce him to them. Trust shouldn't be the issue so what is it she is keeping from him and why?

Moaning as Gaara used his strength to take Kagome down to the ground while still kissing her neck he let her roll over on to her back before continuing on. The love birds made out on the hot sand until he pushed away to hover over her with a smile on his face. Being with her makes him happy and he wants to push their relationship forward further.

When they finally made it to the ocean water he looked out watching dolphins jumping out of the water and diving back in. Wanting to watch with Kagome he looked over at her and was greeted with a big splash of water to his face. Stunned that it hit him he watched her squeal then run away from him as the waves splashed by. Her steps made small wakes and splashes but with a grin of confidence he used the sand below the surface of the water to trip her. Kagome flailed her arms and hit the water, face and all then came up sputtering. That small vacation was true to its name, a real vacation even if it was just for one night.

A couple months went by and Gaara stood from the table as he finished his glass of iced tea. Handing the glass to Kagome as she stood at the sink doing dishes he stole a quick kiss from her as he got his stuff all ready to go. "I need to head on out," he strapped his Kazekage hat to the gourd.

She turned to him, shutting the water off and taking the rubber gloves off her hands. "Why do you need to leave this time," she really wished he wouldn't.

"Naruto called a summit of the five kage," he reminded her, "I'm taking Kankuro with me."

"That's it," she remembered the ambush that caused him to end up in her care in the first place.

Sliding his eyes back to her he knows she is always worried that he will get attacked again like that one time which led to them meeting. "The other kage are friends and comrades of mine, I have no worries of something happening while I am at it due to them but it is required that I go being I am the Kazekage."

"How long will you have to be gone," she looked down to the floor feeling it hard to meet his eyes.

She appeared more upset this time, bothered by something but he wasn't sure what. "More than a week but less than two," he answered studying her as he knows he has had longer and farther trips before so that shouldn't be the issue. "I will be in Konoha I'm guessing for two days before returning home. With my sand I can almost shorten the trip by half so I'm guessing eight or nine days."

Plastering on a smile for his benefit she gave him a hug and then watched him leave out the door. "I'm sorry Gaara," she whispered, "what a fool I have been. I won't be here when you return because I will be almost dead by then." Looking around the place she prepared to leave and then set out into the desert needing to get a head start before she begins losing her strength. It is now time for her to search for her final resting place as she now knows she had been a fool to hold on to hope.

Traveling through the desert wasn't easy but thankfully by the time she felt her strength draining away the forest was coming into sight. Never did she wish to hurt Gaara like this but right to this end she wanted to hope the curse will lift. Stumbling through the forest foliage she will soon be in the Land of Rivers. Nothing could prepare her for the drain in energy on her third. Her hair stuck to her skin as she continued to sweat profusely. The amount of effort it took for her to keep on going was more than she expected but she wanted to find some dense part of the forest to peacefully pass away. It couldn't be too much to ask for but then again look at how her life has gone. Struggling forward a few more feet she felt her body give in under the pressure and collapse into the dirt floor. 'Gaara… I never told you I love you…' was the last thought remaining on her mind as the darkness moved in, one she wasn't sure she would wake from again…

Gaara left the Five Kage Summit in Konoha feeling troubled about the news of someone running around with sharingan eyes. No other Uchiha should be alive besides the ones they know of but that isn't saying it isn't possible. Having taken to the skies with his sand he sat atop it feeling eager to get home and see his girlfriend after so many days apart already. If he keeps the speed up he should be back to the village towards night fall on the seventh day since he didn't rest a second night in Konoha.

Passing over the Land of Rivers he wouldn't know he had also passed over the unconscious body of his girlfriend as well, at least not until later. It was just as he thought, the sun had just dipped under the horizon and he thought just maybe Kagome will let him spend the night with her instead. Parting ways with his brother he knocked a couple times at her place before entering into the dark room. It wasn't all that unusual to him until he began checking every room finding no trace of her. His eyes landed on the counter seeing the unwashed glass he had used for tea days ago along with the items she had set on the drying rack before giving him his farewell hug. If all of that is still there then… he never anticipated she might suddenly disappear on him one day. Checking with the kids he didn't find her there, going to his home he didn't find her there either, and then he checked the hospital… no trace of her there either.

Going into his office after giving out orders he found a note slipped under the door in her handwriting. He couldn't believe she would do this; he didn't want to believe it. Fisting it in his hands he waited for the one person he needs here right now besides her.

I'm sorry Gaara but I had to leave. This is a forever farewell.

~Kagome

Feeling the heat of his tears behind his eyelids he stood there in a tense silence with his eyes closed as he stood in the dark room of his office. As footsteps approached he blinked his eyes a few times and looked at the doorway seeing a shinobi and his ninken. "I need you to find Kagome for me. We will head to her apartment and then it will be up to you."

Navoy blinked and nodded rapidly, moving out of the way with Kizu to let the Kazekage pass out his office door and shut it. Without pause they made haste, arriving at her place a minute later where they picked up the scent and then continued on foot following Kizu's nose. Running down the streets of the village the group was soon out of it speeding after her on a fading scent trail. "The trail is about a week old," Kizu informed them making Gaara grit his teeth as he figured she must have left shortly after him but he wasn't sure why. The dream of finding her dead in a forest came to mind and he suddenly thought it might have been a vision of the future instead, one he could have tried to prevent further. 'Kagome,' he could see her face in his mind's eye with twinkling periwinkle eyes smiling at him.

With their speed they found a spot that Kizu insisted she had spent a lot of time on before her scent grew faint as a different scent was picked up moving from the area. It was already morning and he still has to keep searching for her as he once again felt pressed for time. Gaara felt his emotions stretched thin like a taught string ready to snap. They began to follow the new trail through the day, forced to keep low to the ground so Kizu can keep on it easier.

On the morning to the ninth day they emerged from the forest into a village. Gaara watched Kizu go right up the steps to a quaint house. Walking right up behind him he knocked on the door as Kizu continued to sniff. "I definitely smell her inside," he continued sniffing down by the doormat.

With another knock the door was opened to reveal an older couple. "Yes what is it," the man asked still in his robe and nightwear.

"I am looking for Kagome, a woman of black hair and periwinkle eyes that went missing several days ago. Her scent trail leads here," he explained their reason for being here.

The couple woke up a little further, giving each other a worried look before ushering them in. "Come in come in young men. She is right this way," he led them past the stairway to a room in the back. "I found her out cold on the ground a couple days ago, no telling how long she has been there. She hasn't woken once since I found her and the healer couldn't figure out what ails her but said she is near death and could pass on any day now."

Gaara clasped a cool hand in his own as tears gathered in his eyes. "No," he whispered brokenly, not wanting for it to be true. Seeing his shoulders begin to shake the older man ushered the others out of the room and shut the door just as Gaara collapsed on to his knees and sobbed.

Navoy stood in the other room listening to the cries of his leader. 'We found her but I guess we were too late,' he thought dejectedly. The hours ticked by until they realized Gaara must have fallen asleep at her side. The couple learned what Navoy and Kizu knew about the situation. The clock ticked by until they began to hear more than one set of voices in the other room.

She stirred getting the sense that she shouldn't be waking up now, not ever again. Something weighed down her left hand and she looked down to see Gaara holding it and resting his head on the bed. The room was nothing she has seen before and she couldn't figure out how Gaara is suddenly here, how he found her when she had left the village days ago. Continuing to gain strength as the seconds ticked by is proof that it is truly him right there. "Gaara just why would you come after me like this and how?"

He began to stir too and lifted still slightly red and puffy eyes towards her feeling them widen as he found her awake and looking better. "Kagome," he gushed out before sealing his lips across hers. The desperation in his actions were not lost on her.

"Oh Gaara, why did you have to come after me," she looked at him sadly.

"Why didn't you tell me why you were so ill," he looked back at her with a hint of anger.

"Because I'm not," she weakly held a shaking hand up to stop him from saying anything, "I am just simply dying, no illness, just a curse."

"A curse," he looked at her as the gears turned in his head.

"Yes a curse and I'm on my last two days in a way of speaking," she answered him.

"I don't understand, who did this to you, why did they do this to you," he needed answers; with answers he could hopefully find a solution.

She looked away not seeing any reason to hold back now. "The Gods," she answered him, hearing his shocked intake of breath, "but I am not sure why so I have only drawn different conclusions." He is about to think her insane but with a deeper breath she looked out the window as the door slowly opened to the others. "I have lived a long time; I truly lived long ago in the past where I had been a naïve girl that wound up shattering a powerful jewel that had been hidden inside my body. A shard of that jewel could increase ones strength or bring the dead back to life along with many other things. It was fought over and many died because of my mistake but that isn't all. In my former life I was Kikyo, dying to protect the jewel and having it burned with that body but while I was traipsing around in the past she was also brought back to life artificially and had to sustain that body by using the souls of dead women that are passing on into the next life. After the defeat of our greatest foes I was approached by the Gods and told I needed to remain in that area to meet someone. Until I would meet them I would have a temporary immortality until we cross paths. I wasn't told how to break this curse and I knew that each day that person was gone after we meet I would see my life slipping away with only 365 days."

She gave a heavy sigh. "The curse particulars were not revealed but I realized after coming to the village I was shorter on time than I realized. When you came to my hut with the apology and to end things I should have still had 117 days but instead it was cut in half. I'm sorry though, I had just hoped the curse could be broken but this is my fate instead. I didn't mean to drag you into this or hurt you… I was just stupid and seeing light where there was none." She squeezed her eyes shut as tear flooded them and she choked back a sob.

Gaara looked at her with tears in his eyes that he was unsure if they were for anger or sadness but all the same he felt crushed. He loves her, he knows that he does but why do the Gods have to punish her so. Is this punishment for the both of them then? It isn't like he is innocent or has clean hands. Blood is directly on his hands, he killed others with the intent of doing so. She only has blood on her hands indirectly and plenty of others have committed far worse crimes so why them? 'There has to be a way, something we haven't done,' he let his thoughts race until he landed on one. "Kagome marry me," he urgently said and she whipped her head around to look at him.

"Gaara-,"

"Marry me Kagome, I truly mean it. Become my wife and I will spend every day by your side even if it means stepping down as the Kazekage. Don't make me spend my life without you, I couldn't bear it," he held her hand closer to his chest as everyone looked on alarmed at the sudden declaration. "I love you Kagome, you know I do," he gazed into her startled eyes.

"Don't you think this is a little sudden," she wasn't sure what he was thinking wanting to suddenly get married out of the blue like this.

"I may not have a ring now but the outcome is no different. Even if marriage doesn't break the curse we will be more than fine because we will be happy and together just like we have been," he was so confident and looked like he would be on the edge of his seat had he actually been sitting and not kneeling.

With shaky limbs she tried sitting up still feeling quite weak. He was right there getting her comfortable using the pillow to help her rest against the headboard. Her breaths came out heavier with the exertion of energy she had to put forth doing such a small thing showing how weak she still is. "Yes Gaara," she wrapped her arms around him. "I thought I was going to die regretting not telling you I love you," her soft voice caught his ears. The couple, ninken, and shinobi stood there feeling the heartwarming moment even if it still is so tragic at the same time.

Gaara was very grateful to the couple and gifted them with three times the money it had cost them to have her seen to by the local healer. After getting her tucked into his bed he jumped into the shower feeling the rest of his worries begin to wash away. The mystery around her has been unveiled and now he knows what her true state of health is. 'If my presence is what keeps her alive then we will never part,' he stared down at the drain. 'It isn't a burden but it will be hard at times. If we don't break the curse and I have to go into a dangerous situation I don't know what I will do.' The thought of war or a new dangerous foe emerging during his rule as Kazekage troubled him even more now since he would not be able to part from her because she could die.

Once he was dressed from his shower he checked on her and went out the window to sit on the roof. 'If this curse is what has been holding her back all this time then how do I help us move forward?' Gaara sat looking out over the village with his head resting on a fist. 'How am I to know if the curse ever breaks or not? Why did the Gods see it fit to curse her? From what she told me of her life she had done far more good and never meant to cause any harm yet she is forced to wait for the fated encounter with me and feel her life dwindle away each day I am gone. It is hard to believe the Gods would really be so cruel but I do not wish to take chances, not with her life on the line.' Night time was already setting in and though he rested earlier it wasn't very energizing. He will turn in for the night and enjoy being in bed with her. Tomorrow they should start planning this wedding.

Kagome was a little surprised waking up to being with Gaara on his plush bed. They haven't done this often mainly because of her but now it would seem they are engaged. One thing she may never get used to is seeing him topless. She can feel his bare chest against her clothed back and warm breaths on the back of her head. Gaara she learned, doesn't like wearing much up top when he is home or in her home but she could never get used to him suddenly being topless or only in his mesh armor.

It felt odd thinking about being engaged after living so long. 'That makes Gaara my fiancé… This may not be happily ever after but I suppose this is as close as it can get.' Her heart felt lighter as a small smile played on her lips.

Later on he stood before Kagome that following evening as he got down on one knee surprising her as he had already technically proposed to her but it didn't feel right not having a ring. Smiling in light humor he grew more serious. "Kagome, with this ring," he pulled a black box out of his pouch on the belt, "everyone will know you are my fiancé. I know I already proposed yesterday but will you humor me one last time," he asked as he watched her nod her head still looking a little stunned. His aqua eyes shined with warmth, no traces of the sadness he felt yesterday. "We have been together for 17 months Kagome, 17 months that have made me happy in a way that only you can make me. I look forward to the months and years to come with you as my wife so Kagome, will you marry me?"

She watched him open the box to produce a beautiful rose gold ring sparkling with glittering diamonds seemingly snaking around the band like a vine. A large diamond sat in the center with a rose inscribed at the base on either side. It was so beautiful it took her breath away but looking back at the man bestowing it upon her she knew he is worth far more than a beautiful ring. "You know I will Gaara, yes I really will," she felt so happy tears gathered in her eyes as he took hold of her hand and slipped the ring on. The energy she has today helped to make up for what she could not express yesterday. Falling to her knees she hugged him to her feeling so happy she was crying. He could hear her sniffles but knew it was not sadness that caused them. "Gaara I love you, I love you so much."

"I love you too Kagome," he held her to him in return, feeling the engagement ring on her finger pressing into his back.

The wedding was not a real big thing, at least he had not tried to make it so since she had no family or friends to attend but their ended up being so many people who had gotten word of it that the large cathedral in a neighboring village was filled to the max as were the streets outside. They were filled with shinobi from the five great shinobi villages that fought and lived through the war, along with much of the villagers of Suna. His brother was the best man and his sister played maid of honor while the kids took their spots as ushers, the ring bearer, or flower girl.

As joyous as the occasion was he felt excited about their wedding night in a lavish tent with wine, candles, and a large bed right at their secluded spot by the ocean. Her wedding dress was already hiked up with white stockings leading up to a garter belt… items that he looks forward to removing from her. Tonight they will consummate their relationship and maybe start thinking about having kids of their own in the future.

Running a hand up the white material covering her leg he could just barely catch sight of her panties between the layers of fabric to her dress. She was nervous and looked like a blushing bride but now she is his wife, the one he will spend the rest of his life with. The first piece off was the corset, quickly followed by the skirt and his shirt and pants as he had already removed the tie and jacket. "My little wife," he whispered as his lips descended on top of hers, "now we can get a look at forever together."

Hand gliding through red locks she let her nerves cool down while her passion burned brightly. Though they had married that day and consummated the relationship that night her curse was not broken. It saddened them to a degree but they did not focus on it nor did they curse the Gods. Gaara stepped down as Kazekage in his late thirties, handing the position over to another who will make him proud while he enjoyed retirement with his wife, raising their kids and feeling free to travel back and forth to Konoha visiting his sister and friends. Instead of feeling sadness at the curse haunting them each day they felt lucky to have each other and live every day like it was their last… They were happy and true to their words neither ever parted from the other as they focused on a happy future with their growing family.

The End