Merlynn hadn't wanted to fall in love, because bad things happened to those who loved her.
Will...
Shot through the heart with a crossbow bolt protecting Arthur and her, and then telling Arthur that it was he who summoned the windstorm. Who admitted that he had loved her on his death bed.
Balinor...
Her own father, stabbed to protect her. She had only just met him, was only just getting to know what it was like to have a father before it was cruelly ripped away from her.
Frey...
Cursed to live his live as a monster but was actually very sweet and kind and wouldn't harm anyone if he had had a choice. Died in her arms from a stab wound to the side.
(Later Lancelot would be added to the list - the kind, selfless man who had been the older brother she never had. Sacrificing himself so that she wouldn't have to.)
But then there was Leon... The man who had stubbornly wormed his way into her heart, burying himself deeper and deeper with every meeting.
Once, being quite bold in his gift giving, he had handed her a small purple flower as she went about her duties to the prince. Instead of leaving the flower in the physician chambers like usual, he had walked towards her while she struggled with Arthur's clean linens, calmly taken half the load with a smile and when they had dumped the sheets on the prince's bed he had handed her the flower with a charming smile and went on his way.
As he walked away, Merlynn had tucked the flower behind her ear with a smile.
If you're not careful, the darker part of her mind whispered, you'll fall for him. And you know what happens after that.
But part of her whispered the question. Would that be so bad?
And as Merlynn studied his retreating form, she told herself that she wasn't falling in love with him - that the fact that he was handsome, and charming, and kind, did not make her fall even harder.
It didn't.
She couldn't afford to fall in love, she had a destiny to complete. She had to protect Arthur and help him unite Albion and free magic.
Nothing in her destiny told Merlynn that she was allowed to fall in love.
Sometimes she thought her destiny was to be the loneliest person in the world.
Leon's patrol was slaughtered, no proof was found that he was alive and Merlynn's heart nearly stopped.
Stupid, stupid girl. The darkness of her mind whispered, you fell in love with him, and look at where that got you.
Then it was revealed that Leon was alive, that the Druids saved him using the Cup of Life, and Uther thought that this made them a threat, so he decided to send Arthur on a marry goose chase to retrieve it.
Then Leon had kissed her.
Merlynn had frozen, her thoughts stuttered to a stop, and butterflies exploded in her stomach.
His lips were soft, but firm.
The kiss only lasted a moment but Merlynn felt her knees go weak.
"Be careful, Merlynn." He breathed, hazel eyes soft as he studied her face.
"Leon- I- I don't know what to say- I mean-"
She saw a flash of doubt cloud his warm hazel eyes but a small smile pulled his lips upwards.
"It's alright, take your time to think about it. I'll wait for your answer for as long as I have to."
Merlynn felt relief warm her chest. This wonderful, wonderful man was willing to wait for her to say she was ready.
"When you're older, Merlynn, you'll find a man who is willing to wait for you to decide when you're ready. He'll be willing to go to the ends of the earth to make sure you're happy..."
She remembered what her mother had told her, nearly ten years ago, when she had asked why her mother had fallen in love with her father, and Merlynn had kept those words close to her heart.
Blowing out a breath, she smiled. "Thank you, Leon. I'll think about it... And I'll be careful as possible on the quest."
Leon dipped his head, "That's all I ask."
And then Morgana made her move, taking over Camelot and creating an immortal army.
Gwen...
Gaius...
Leon...
They were all still in the castle.
She had sent the word out to Lancelot, who brought Percival along, she recruited Elyan and Gwaine.
They saved Gaius, then Gwen escaped, bringing Leon in tow, and the terror she had felt dissipated.
She and Lancelot plotted and made the decision to go for the Cup, and Merlynn knew that there was a chance she or any of the Knights if the Round Table wouldn't survive.
She glanced over to where Leon and Arthur were going over the defenses with the other new knights before steeling herself.
As she approached, Leon excused himself from his planning.
"Merlynn -"
She cut him off by grabbing the collar of his chain mail and pulling him down to her level, allowing her to push her lips against his.
Merlynn poured her feelings into the kiss, all her love and hopes and fears because there was a chance that she would never get another chance.
She loved him, despite the fact that she had tried not to.
When she pulled away, she almost laughed at Leon's dazed expression.
"I thought I should answer your question before we start." Merlynn told him. "Be careful. Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori*, but I would rather you live to fight another day."
He looked confused at her use of Latin. "What...?"
"'It is sweet and proper to die for your country', but as I said, I would much rather you live to fight another day."
She was telling the truth, she would much rather he, or anyone else, not die fighting to retake Camelot. She wanted them to live to fight another day
"Hear! Hear!"
Typical Gwaine, always ruining the moment.
Merlynn laughed, her delighted giggles melding with Leon's amused chuckle.
Originally, she hadn't wanted to fall in love. But Leon had stubbornly persisted, charming his way into her closely guarded heart, making her fall in love with him.
And now, looking down at the sleeping face of her newborn son, her little Balin, with his wisps of blond curls on his head, his tiny fisted hands, and the scrunched-up baby face he made in his sleep, Merlynn was glad she had allowed herself to fall in love.
Leon was all she could have wanted, he had given her a family.
He had accepted her, for all that she was. All her magic and sass and clumsiness, he loved it all.
"Our little Balin..." Merlynn muttered, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "He's beautiful..."
Leon chuckled and kissed her on the forehead, "Get's it from his mother."
Merlynn had taken a chance, she had allowed herself to fall in love, and she didn't regret it.
She had gained a family, a man who lived her despite her faults and failings. Who thought her magic to be a beautiful gift. A wonderful husband who cherished her, who had given her a son to love and teach what she knew of the wonders on magic, to pass on the gift of the Dragon Lords.
The tears were dripping down her cheeks now, her blue eyes shining with joy.
Leon leaned forward, cupped her face in callused hands, brushed her tears away and kissed her. "I love you, so, so, much, Merlynn. You and our son. I love you both."
Merlynn laughed and reeled the blond in for another kiss. "I love you too."
A coo broke interrupted their kiss.
They broke their embrace and turned towards their newborn son, who returned their gazes with his own sleepy blue one.
A gurgle.
"I think he's scolding us," Merlynn mused. "We interrupted his sleep."
Leon chuckled, "Sorry, Balin." He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the baby's forehead, "Go back to sleep now, Papa will look after you."
Merlynn smiled.
"Papa will look after you."
A family.
She really was glad that she had allowed herself to take a chance.
~~00 END 00~~
* Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori = a line from the Roman lyrical poet Horace's Odes (III.2.13). The line can be roughly translated into English as: "It is sweet and fitting to die for your country."