What's the point in writing down your biggest secrets in an English essay? Surely if they're you're biggest secrets they should be kept, well, secret. Not given to your English teacher to read. This is the stupidest essay topic ever. I don't even see the point of it. We won't learn anything about ourselves, we'll just bring up some deep dark repressed memories or something.

Well, I guess since everyone else is writing theirs, I should too. I can't flunk English, I'll never get into Julliard if I do, and I'll never be a world famous actress, like everyone knows I will. Everyone else's secrets will be lame anyway. Gabriella's will be "I love Troy", Zeke's will be "I love cookies" and Kelsi's will be "I can't think of the most super lyrics for the spring musical." Mine will be much more juicy!

So here's my secrets. And if these get out I'm going straight to the head of the school and mom and dad will do something about it.

1. My real name isn't Sharpay Evans. I was born Joan. I mean, hello, Joan Evans?! How am I supposed to be a famous actress with a name like that? Joan is the name of the girl who gets killed in the first scene in the movie, not the star. So I changed it when I was old enough to ask mom and daddy to let me.

2. I guess I am a little jealous of my twin brother. I mean, he has this amazing relationship with Kelsi and I have no one. Well, I guess I have Zeke, but him swooning over me and bribing me with cookies gets old real quickly.

3. Plus he gets along with the Wildcats and has made so many friends in High School. Everyone else either avoids me or is scared of me.

4. Although I do have a weakness for his cookies. What does he put in them to make them taste so good? I'm seriously gonna have to cut down though, I've gone up a dress size since he started bringing them to me.

5. Sometimes I wish I wasn't me. I wish I could come into school one day with short black hair, dark makeup and clothes that aren't pink. They could be black or blue or purple, any colour apart from pink.

6. I don't even like pink anymore anyway. It just seems easier to pretend. It's too much trouble to repaint my locker and my room and everything. I am working on designing a new Sharpay Evans logo though…

7. That Tiara girl is really starting to get on my nerves.

8. I'm never gonna get into Julliard. There are four of us and only one place. Kelsi is gonna be a great songwriter, Ryan makes dancing seem so easy, even for Jason, and Troy is gorgeous and makes everyone on the stage look at him. I have trouble making Ryan look at me sometimes and he's my brother!

9. I don't want to go to the prom with Zeke. I mean he's great and everything, but I'm not really attracted to him. I just told him he was taking me because it was either that or go without a date. And Sharpay Evans does not go to prom without a date. Especially since everyone else has a date.

10. The person I do want to go to prom with is going with someone else. And that really sucks because I'll have to watch them act all lovey dovey with their partner when I wish it was me that they were kissing.

11. Sometimes I like sad songs. Especially when I'm sitting in my room at night and think about how empty my life is. If I didn't have the drama club, I wouldn't have much of a life. Mom and dad are never here, Ryan spends all his spare time with Kelsi working on the spring musical and no one ever asks me out anywhere. I feel like an outsider most of the time. So yeah, sometimes I put on Everybody Hurts, crank it up loud and cry.

12. I only slept with Zeke because I didn't want my brother to lose his virginity before I did. Then I broke up with him a week later because I felt guilty. He still thinks there's a chance with me, and I guess I didn't do much to assure him there wasn't by telling him I'd go to the prom with him.

13. I cried myself to sleep last night. I know Ryan heard me, but he didn't come through to ask what was wrong. I don't know if I'd tell him if he had, though.

14. The person I want to go to prom with is Gabriella. There, I said it. I like her, OK? I want to kiss her, want to hold her, want her to look at me the way she looks at Troy. I guess this is my deepest, darkest secret. I haven't even told Ryan about that, he'd freak out if he knew.

15. I was the one that started the rumour about Ryan being gay to deflect the attention from me. Everyone expects him to be gay anyway. He dresses so stylishly for a guy, well compared to the Wildcats, who look like they got dressed in two seconds flat. And he's into musicals. If he was gay, he'd be a walking cliché.

16. I blackmailed Kelsi when she caught me kissing a girl in a coffee shop last week. I told her that I'd sabotage the show if she even thought about telling Ryan. But now I don't know if it'd be so bad if he knew. Maybe he'd understand. But on the other hand, maybe he'd disown me and tell mom and dad and they'd throw me out and I'd have nowhere to go.

17. Sometimes I think no one would notice if I just disappeared.