Hello there! Just an incredibly silly and stupid one-shot. I hope you enjoy! :D
That Can't Be Healthy
Was she worried about the big lug? No. She just… couldn't fathom a way he could be in good health. With all the metal he ingested, she was absolutely positive one day she'd find him, belly-up in a river or something with spikes of iron that he'd eaten sticking out of him. She shivered at the thought every single time.
He was a Dragon Slayer, so it was only natural for him to eat his own element. She kept telling herself that, anyway. And it wasn't so much the iron that worried her. When he'd peel a bumper off of a car and start munching away, much to the townspeople's chagrin and horror, she would cover her face in embarrassment, not worry. His stomach could probably handle that. Hopefully. It could handle her solid script; surely it could handle a bumper.
But then it started getting weirder and weirder. If he was an iron Dragon Slayer, shouldn't he only be eating iron? She didn't know the metal composition of the end of a pencil, but she was pretty sure it wasn't purely iron. He ate everything now: spoons, knives, bracelets, the leftover washers and bolts from when she'd had him assemble her new bookshelf, nearly anything she could think of and he could get his hands on.
And while that was yes, a little cause for worry –she couldn't fathom how eating that much was affecting his digestive system; she figured he needed to eat real food every once in a while, anyway- that wasn't the main worry. The nails where what bothered her.
Nails. Sharp, pointy, and something she was absolutely positive his stomach couldn't handle. She stared at him from across the guild as he munched and crunched without a care in the world, the pick-like sticks crumbling from his bite as if they were made of sand. She flinched.
Nails. She just seriously doubted that could be healthy.
Apparently her flinching and twitching at the guild's bar while she watched him eat didn't go unnoticed and before long, she felt two pairs of eyes on her. She warily tore her gaze from her partner and looked over to the blonde on the stool next to her. Lucy was smiling amusedly at her, one eyebrow raised. And of course the other pair of eyes was bound to be Mira behind the bar. Levy didn't bother to look, instead taking that incessant squeaking of the rag on a glass as Mira trying her best not to say anything, when undoubtedly there were hundreds of teasings and giggles hidden behind her smile.
"So…," Lucy started, her smile growing. "You look awfully fidgety over here. Why don't you just go sit with him?"
Levy shook her head. "Oh no, no, that's not why I'm… fidgeting." A trickle of a blush fled to her face for a moment. While yes, the thought of sitting and eating with Gajeel made her blush, that really wasn't why she was staring at him. For a moment she pondered if she should ask Lucy or Mira about his eating habits.
"Then why?" Mira piped, leaning onto the bar, a Cheshire cat-like grin on her face. "Why're you staring at him like he's your pray."
Levy squeaked. Had she really been that obvious? "It's just… I mean… nails? Really?"
Lucy and Mira stared at her for a moment, their eyebrows high. "What do you mean, nails?" Lucy asked, her eyes trailing back over to where Gajeel was sitting. "Oh… like the ones he eats?"
Levy nodded. "Where does he even get them?" She couldn't help the nearly snappy tone she had. She was worried about him –nay, his stomach-, but she had to admit she was a little peeved that someone kept giving them to him.
Mira waved a hand. "That would be me. He gets them from me," she sang. When Levy gave her a slight glare the barmaid shrugged, reaching under the counter again for a glass. "What? I have to have whatever you guys want to eat on hand all the time. You don't bat an eye when I hand Natsu a lighter, do you?" she grinned.
Lucy snickered. "No, she doesn't. C'mon Levy, it's what they do." She shrugged and sloppily motioned over to Gajeel. "Natsu eats fire, Gajeel eats metal, I'm sure Wendy eats air –although that's not quite as shocking- and it's just what they do."
"Yeah but… nails?" Levy repeated, shivering again. "They're so sharp. I can see other metals that aren't quite as puncture-worthy, and even Natsu's stomach I'm sure is… made up of some sort of fire-proof material or something." Both she and Lucy made a face at the thought. "But nails…" Levy slouched with a frown.
Lucy cleared her throat and sat high in her chair. "Dragon Slayers are the children of dragons, given special abilities that only dragons themselves were thought to be able to use." Levy thought she sounded much too proud of her knowledge, but it was amusing. "Igneel was a fire dragon, so Natsu has lungs that can breathe fire, skin tougher than scales, and claws that can pierce anything. Just like Igneel's. So…," she trailed off, deflating in her seat a little. "I guess he… y'know… has a special stomach or something. He eats regular food like it falls from the sky so surely it's real stretchy or something…" Lucy's voice got smaller and smaller as she went, by the end just basically mumbling to herself as she realized that she'd never actually been told how Natsu could eat flames.
There was a light pitter-patter behind the bar as the three girls slowly stared back out at Gajeel, realizing that for all the time they'd known the Dragon Slayers, and all they'd been told, the extent of their element-eating habits had only been described to "refuel their magic".
The pitter-patter grew louder until a very small black cat grunted and huffed his way up onto the counter, scrambling and clawing at the surface until he flopped down on top. He nodded to Levy and then to Gajeel. "His stomach can handle anything he puts into it. Don't worry." It appeared Lily had overheard their conversation and had decided to put some of Levy's worry to rest.
Levy raised an eyebrow. "Really? Did he tell you that?"
Lily's eyes trailed down to the counter and he cleared his throat. "Well, no, not exactly but… I'm sure it can."
"What the hell is his stomach made out of, then? Natsu's too?" Lucy ogled for a moment. "Seriously… what're their stomach's made out of?"
"I have… no idea," Lily responded. "I guess I just assumed some… dragon-like material or something…," he trailed off.
Slowly four pairs of eyes drifted back over to the munching Dragon Slayer on the other side of the guild. They knew a lot about their residential dragons but in all reality, they'd never been cued in on their eating habits. Could they survive on just their element? Could they survive on just normal food? And what were their stomachs made out of that they could handle nails, or fire…?
Levy had to admit maybe she actually was worried about the big lug. Not just nails anymore. Maybe he didn't even have a stomach.
And as if on cue, Gajeel flinched, slowly turning toward the quartet at the bar, nails and metal scraps hanging out of his mouth as he stared at them, and they stared at him.
"What?" he muttered, his word slurred by his very odd choice in entrées.
The Sinnoh League Challenge - Route 201 part 1 - write a fic that contains doubt
See? Incredibly silly and stupid? XD I picture Gajeel having like... a metal box as a stomach and this super loud clang sound happening every time he swallows something. Headcanons are sometimes not a good thing. XD
~Foxtail-chan