Notes: I wanted to write a Felicity-centric piece. I'm trying to focus on really getting into a character's head. This one kind of turned into a monster. I admit I went over an hour, and didn't even realize it until I'd been writing for almost two hours. Oops!
Some dialogue taken directly from the episode.
Hope you enjoy!
"Oliver?" Felicity asks, swallowing back tears. She doesn't know what she's asking for, she just needs to hear his voice.
She jumps in her chair at the loud rumbles she can hear overhead. She can't believe that there's a second device. She has to admit that she did not see that coming, even though Malcolm Merlyn is one of the most cunning opponents Oliver has faced. They underestimated him. She feels the trembles in the floor beneath her feet and though she tries, she can't keep the tremble out of her voice. Verdant was pretty much ground zero for the first device and who knows how far of a reach this device has.
But now they've failed. She failed. Dismantling the device was her responsibility and she couldn't take care of it. The Glades have been attacked, people are going to die, and it is all because she didn't do her job.
She hears Oliver's heavy breaths in her ear. He sounds like he's in pain, but it's comforting to hear him because she is all alone in a damp basement in the Glades and there's a good chance the walls are soon going to cave in around her.
"You okay?" he asks, and she presses her lips together, squeezing her eyes shut. Maybe if she can't see the wreckage around her, it won't hurt her.
"Yeah." No. But she can't tell him that.
She jumps as something disconnects and sparks behind her. She gulps a couple deep breaths in an attempt to keep herself calm. Oliver needs her. The city needs her to keep her shit together.
Still not feeling calm, she takes a few gasping breaths, holding back terrified sobs. "The damage seems to be contained on the East side. Past Wall Street." The last words come out shaky and kind of quiet because she knows what she's telling him and she knows what he's going to do.
"Laurel," Oliver breathes. Felicity closes her eyes. Something crashes down behind her and she jerks out of her chair and to her feet. For just a moment, she wonders what it would be like to hear her name in that tone. The love and concern and worry that she can hear when he says Laurel's name.
"You gonna be okay?" she hears him say to Dig, and of course Diggle pushes him away, telling him to go to Laurel. Diggle tells her he's going to check on Carly and AJ before he comes to the Foundry, and then turns off his comm, leaving Felicity alone with Oliver.
Soon Felicity can tell Oliver is on his bike, zooming through the city. He'll definitely be avoiding all kinds of wreckage and destruction. As there's another loud boom in the Foundry behind her she quickly mutes her end of the comms. The last thing she needs is to distract him.
Falling back into her chair, she looks around her, at the shaking walls, the falling debris. She's definitely covered in a fine layer of dust. She reaches shaking fingers towards her computers. She can still be useful. If she can get connected to a traffic camera or two, she can keep a visual on Oliver. Her fingers fly over the keys but all she can get is static. She tries to pull up the security feed for the building where Oliver left Diggle but there's nothing.
"Gah!" she yells, slamming her hands down on her keyboard. The computer lets out a wail that Felicity matches, frustrated tears building in her eyes. Why can one thing not go right today? She needs to keep track of her boys if she's going to be stuck in this goddamn basement while the world falls apart outside.
One of the shelves behind her suddenly falls over with a mighty crash, flattening their med table. The lights flicker and then go out, sending the Foundry into complete and utter blackness. Heart pounding, Felicity freezes.
She's not scared of the dark, but she doesn't know what to do now. How can she help Oliver or Diggle or Lance when her usefulness to the team relies on power, on electricity. Without her computers she's useless.
When something crashes so close to her that she feels the breeze across her skin, Felicity leaps out of her chair and dives under the desk, scrambling to tuck her legs into her chest. Breath coming in shaky pants, her eyes squeeze shut and she realizes that she can't hear Oliver's bike in her ear anymore. Is he already inside the CNRI? Is he hurt?
She's about to un-mute her side of the comms, has already lifted a hand to her ear, when she hears him breathing heavily, hears the thud of debris being shoved out of the way.
Her breath leaves her in a shaking expel. Letting her hand fall, she stays with him, listening as he calls for Tommy. She's not sure how it came to be Tommy he's rescuing and not Laurel but she's suddenly so thankful that Oliver is there. She knows that they are not on the best terms, but they're best friends. Brothers, practically. Oliver would never have forgiven himself if Tommy had been in danger and he wasn't there.
Felicity doesn't have any siblings, but she thinks that for Oliver, losing Tommy would be like her losing Oliver or Diggle. They've become like her family, this ragtag team, and she can't imagine her life without them. They've filled a place in her heart that she didn't even know was empty.
Now Oliver's telling Tommy that he's going to be fine, frantically moving debris to uncover his friend. His breathing is ragged, telling her more than his words.
He's unstable. He's hurting.
He's panicked.
She clenches her fists, trying to stop the shaking. Her nails cut into her palms, grounding her. She can hear Tommy in the background. His breathing sounds strained, thick, wet. It doesn't sound good and her heart clenches at the thought.
There's more rumbling and shaking around her as she huddles under the desk. Where she used to feel safe. Used to feel like she was home. Something crashes nearby and although she tries, she can't see anything around her. The desk is shaking and Oliver is gasping for breath and she decides she is not going to die cowering under a piece of furniture in a dirty basement.
Taking a deep breath, she pictures the Foundry, mentally scanning for a safe place to secure herself while the earth is shaking. Somewhere she can take cover until she can climb and crawl and make her way aboveground. She settles on the nook below the stairs and takes a steadying breath, before opening her eyes, determinedly focusing in that general direction.
She makes her way through the rubble, hands reaching in front of her, basically blind. She can't see the debris in front of her and trips over something, her ankle painfully twisting. Unable to hold back a curse, a sob escapes her throat, tears springing to her eyes.
She takes another step, hops and gasps and keeps going. She can't stop. She needs to be safe because Oliver is going to need her.
There's a loud crash behind her that sounds like her computers being crushed to smithereens and she stumbles forward, trying to reach safety even faster. Her breath comes in loud pants and when she feels the solid comfort of the cement steps in front of her she nearly cries in relief.
She throws herself underneath them as Oliver's voice comes through the comms again. She curls in on herself, unable to do anything but listen as the Foundry shakes and comes apart around her.
"Is Laurel safe?" Tommy asks. His voice is weak and thready. "I tried to get her out of here."
Felicity sighs sadly. Tommy and Oliver are too much alike. Both so willing to throw their lives in jeopardy for the people they love.
Oliver reassures him that Laurel is safe, that Tommy saved her life. His voice is far too upbeat for the current situation, trying to reassure Tommy that everything is going to be okay when everything is the absolute furthest thing from okay. Felicity presses her lips together. Oliver is trying so, so hard and her heart hurts because she can't help but think that for once he's not to be able to do anything. No amount of arrows is going to help save his friend.
"Stop," Tommy says, his voice faint. "I'm sorry."
Oliver heaves out a breath. "Don't apologize," he tells him and Felicity imagines his face, eyes trying to reassure Tommy that it's okay, it doesn't matter.
"I was angry and I was jealous. I am my father." Tommy is struggling to talk and tears spill over and run down her face because this is a terrible thing to hear and she should turn off the comms completely but she can't seem to make herself cut the connection. Can't make herself leave Oliver alone.
"No, you're not." Oliver's voice makes more tears fall because he's experienced so much pain and suffering and loss and how on earth is it fair that he has to watch his best friend die right in front of him?
There's a pause and then Tommy breathes, "did you kill him?"
Oliver lies, because Tommy is dying and that's what he wants to hear and Tommy thanks him, and then all she hears is silence for a moment.
Until Oliver is shouting Tommy's name and that it should have been him. Begging Tommy to open his eyes, sobbing and gasping for air. Felicity has never heard him so distraught and she sobs, fisting a hand over mouth, heart clenching, chest hurting for Oliver. For the pain he must be feeling. The building keeps shaking around her. "Open your eyes," Oliver repeats, barely audible.
She doesn't know how long it goes on. Oliver crying over Tommy, Felicity sobbing under the stairs in the Foundry, but eventually it registers that the building is no longer shuddering around her.
She can hear rustling as Oliver moves around through the comms. It occurs to her that he can't stay there much longer, dressed as the Hood. Rescue teams are going to be crawling all over the Glades.
Swallowing, she un-mutes her end of the comms. "Ol- Oliver?" Her voice comes out scratchy and shaky and quiet. "You need to get out of there. Come home." She sniffs, letting out a shaky breath.
He doesn't say anything in return, simply turning off his comm.
There's a new silence, a stillness, and Felicity feels like she is suffocating. Tommy is dead and it's like she's buried alive too, and she's suddenly desperate to get out of this grave and breathe fresh air, even if it's smothered with destruction.
Sobbing and gasping, she blindly forces her way through the rubble, ignoring the pain slicing up her leg from her ankle, one single goal in front of her. It's almost rhythmic the way she moves.
Step, hop hop, step, hop hop. Move piece of debris. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
She's is a daze, lost in her thoughts but soon, thank God, she's at the top of the stairs. She discovers the door is blocked by a large metal shelf and huffs, half laugh and half cry. Of course. Because things just can't be that easy for Felicity Smoak.
Taking a deep breath, she gives it her best, but no matter how hard she tries she can't make it move even an inch.
With one last frustrated swing, she kicks the metal with her bad ankle. "GOD DAMMIT!" she shrieks in pain. "Why won't you move, you giant hulking piece of METAL!" She braces her forearms in front of her, rests her head on them, closing her eyes. She concentrates on her breathing because her ankle now hurts even more, if possible, and she isn't strong enough to make a path to the door, and Diggle and Oliver are who knows where and no one else knows that this place even exists and-
Her thoughts are abruptly cut off when the door swings open on the other side of the shelving unit and her stomach drops because there's any number of people who could be looting through an empty club, looking for trouble.
She looks up, squinting, and finds Oliver standing on the other side of the metal shelves, hood lowered. Her eyes greedily run over him and she can't believe that's he's here. That he's alive and standing in front of her. His face is a map of anguish and despair. Tears trace paths through the dust that covers his skin and she doesn't think he even registers her presence in front of him.
He grabs the shelf and nearly throws it against the wall, opening a path for him to stride through. She reaches for him as he moves past her, fingers brushing against warm leather, but he doesn't stop.
He moves methodically around the Foundry, gathering seemingly random items in his arms after somehow restoring emergency power. There's a tightness in his shoulders and she wants to reach out to him, to comfort him, to help him. Instead she trails uselessly behind him, stopping at the desk where her computers used to be. They're now in pieces on the floor, the desk flattened by a large chunk of concrete.
A short sob escapes her at the sight, one shaking hand rising to cover her mouth, and Oliver abruptly stops in his tracks. He turns slowly to face her. Felicity can feel his eyes on her but she can't seem to tear hers away from her desk.
Her home.
Her hiding place.
If she'd stayed there she would be as crushed as her screens. If she had stayed there… She tries to push the thought away because there are more important things to deal with than her near death by concrete. Because she didn't die. But Tommy did.
Oliver is watching her and she turns and meets his eyes. He looks lost, standing there with his arms full of random items. She presses her lips together, holding back the words that want to tumble out of her mouth, as they stare at each other. His eyes close with a sigh and hers drop to his chest and she registers that it's not just dirt and dust covering the green leather. He's bleeding.
Felicity quickly closes the distance between them, takes the items from his arms and quietly places them on the shelf beside her. She holds his hand, leading him to her chair, and gently pushes him into it. He doesn't fight her, remaining silent as she peels off the leather and takes inventory of his shoulder.
He's curled into himself when she returns with their first aid kit, undamaged, unlike everything else in their lives right now. He looks small and sad and she wants to wrap him up in her arms, but she settles for patching him up instead.
With shaking hands she bandages his shoulder. He stares straight ahead, throat working, eyes wet.
They don't speak.
When she's done, she tangles her fingers with his. He doesn't move, but he grips her hand almost painfully tight, and they stay like that for a moment, drawing some semblance of comfort from each other.
Then Oliver draws away, resumes his search around the Foundry, and leaves with an armful of supplies tucked into a old rucksack. Felicity doesn't see him again for five months, until she's standing on a land mine and he swings in like Tarzan to save her life.
Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought in the comments.