In That Silence
Author: Kel
Rating: PG/K+
Notes/Warnings: No warnings. No real spoilers; meant to be sometime early- to mid-season 5.
Genre: Angst, character study, ficlet ~600 words
Summary: Amelia Novak is caught in a gathering storm.
An horrid stillness first invades the ear,
And in that silence we the tempest fear -John Dryden
Amelia let her eyes drift closed for a moment as she rubbed her hands together. She'd worked late today and it was almost impossible to leave the warm building for the dreary parking lot that waiting for her. Pontiac had had some harsh winters before, but she wasn't sure she'd ever get used to western New York. The snow was starting to blow now, as the sun was setting. She'd have to be careful on the drive home. Demons must have hated Buffalo, too. She hadn't seen hide nor hair of one since she and Claire had relocated.
Amelia fumbled with the car keys, her gloved fingers making deft movements difficult. Snowflakes whirled around her, glinting in the single, strong beam of light she'd parked under. The force of the absolute stillness struck Amelia. She stood next to the car, fingers just brushing the door handle and looking up into the snow.
How beautiful. How disgustingly beautiful. How could it be so quiet when the world was falling apart? Not just her world; hers had already shattered into pieces that could never, never be fit back together again. Maybe those end times alarmists had it right, all things considered. The news reports alone...
She wondered if Jimmy was out there in all that.
The quiet stillness crushed her in that instant. With a choked sound - a sob, maybe - Amelia jerked the door open and slid into the cold leather seat. The door slammed shut behind her and she locked the doors before wrapping her gloved fingers around the steering wheel. She would not cry. She would not cry. She took a deep breath, swallowed back a sob until it was nothing but a whimper. Sudden anger welled up in her and she uncurled her fingers only slam the heel of her hand against the wheel.
"Damn you." Her voice was nothing but breath. Even she would be hard-pressed to know whether she cursed Jimmy or Castiel. Maybe she cursed God. The snow didn't answer; it only fell silently, occasionally buffeted by gusts of wind.
Amelia sat in that chilled silence for too long. The last of the day's light slowly faded. The lamppost she sat under shone, light somehow undimmed by the gathering snow. Instead, it's light glinted on the flakes, refracting and spreading like a soft halo.
She looked away and started the car. "Keep him safe." It was a throaty whisper, nothing more, and it wasn't a prayer to God. Not to Castiel. Never to Castiel. Maybe it was less a prayer and more a demand. If she couldn't have Jimmy, then she could demand his safety.
She didn't pray anymore.
She was a fallen woman who couldn't tell anymore if that bone-deep ache was simple bitterness or for a lost love. Perhaps... perhaps it was just the way things were now. They were all meant to die faithless and empty. If the world was really ending, then she wasn't sure she could find the appropriate horror and sorrow at the idea.
She put the car in gear and drove out from under the soft light. She couldn't sit and stare at the snow all night. Claire was at home and Amelia would be damned if she'd ever let that girl down. Amelia could only, right now, believe in a bleak future but one thing she would never do was pass that on to her daughter.
She wondered if maybe Castiel already had.
Wind whistled past her car as she crept into the night, the loudest she'd heard since she stepped into the parking lot. It buffeted the car, clawing at the windows and slicing across the cold metal. Snowflakes danced, frenzied, caught in a maelstrom.
Amelia kept driving.
A character study of sorts, meant to be short and perhaps a precursor to longer story featuring the Novak clan.