Chapter One - And So It Begins
AN – This is the same work with changes to every chapter as I get ready to think about publishing it in the future. As I rewrite each chapter they will appear with a new or updated title. I hope it makes reading the story a little better as the syntax and gramma have vastly improved thanks to my wonderful Beta's. So a huge thank you to Jim and Roxey, who have spent hour upon hour helping me revamp this work from the very beginning. Nothing major has changed in the plot, just the style and hopefully, the readability.
Thank you for your forbearance. This work is belongs to M. J. Twiss 2014 and may not be copied or reproduced without the authors expressed permission.
"I remember hearing you once say that you hardly ever forgave," Elizabeth frowned, recalling the words issuing from the mouth of the hateful man currently dancing with her.
When Mr Darcy requested her company for this set, Lizzy could not find a reason to decline, especially if she wished to enjoy the attentions of other men for the remainder of the night. After her friend Charlotte Lucas reminded Elizabeth not to slight a man of ten time's Mr Wickham's consequence, an idea entered her head. She would use this opportunity to question Mr Darcy as to his treatment of his father's favourite. Wondering how to word her query, she had attempted several openings, only to be irritated by Mr Darcy's almost insolent expression.
"You boasted that once your good opinion was lost, it was lost forever. In fact, I recall you describing your temper as resentful. Once your resentment has been created, it is implacable," Lizzy stated, carefully controlling her expression. However her antipathy shone through the facade. "You are very careful, are you not, in allowing your resentment to be created?"
Glaring at the woman, Mr Darcy's mind began to question her sudden interest in this topic. Given the recent subject matter, that of George Wickham, he could see where her thoughts tended. "I am," Darcy stated emphatically.
In the back of Lizzy's mind, she wondered at the absence of her admirer. After all, Mr Wickham had professed only a few days ago that he would not be driven away by Mr Darcy. Indeed, he claimed that it would be her current dance partner who would be shamed if there were to meet in public. Yet Wickham avoided this ball while Mr Darcy, who knew the militia's officers had been issued an open did not. Lizzy could not fathom why and it aroused her interest, for it did not show Wickham's character in a good light.
As the dance commenced, Elizabeth attributed her current feelings of hostility as being generated by Mr Darcy attentions and his obvious disdain of Meryton society. Earlier in the evening, Lizzy had noticed his unblinking appraisal of her upon entering the ballroom, and had determinedly ignored the gaze as she considered it one of censure. Charlotte also observed the unusual attentiveness but attributed a quite different meaning. Still, Elizabeth needed to force the stubborn, pride-filled man to open up to properly sketch his complex character.
At the next opportunity, Elizabeth continued her interrogation. "And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?"
"I hope not," Darcy answered, well aware of the very great prejudice he witnessed in Miss Elizabeth Bennet's manner.
From the very first, his acquaintance with Miss Elizabeth had not been easy, because Darcy had not been easy within himself. This summer, with the events in Ramsgate but a few months in the past, Fitzwilliam Darcy could not forgive himself. His very young and naïve sister had almost been taken in by a rake and swindler. He had not protected her as he should. He, who knew the deceit of fortune hunters, had allowed Georgiana's reputation, and indeed her whole future life, to become endangered. Darcy could not think upon it without abhorrence.
With Georgiana now under the protection of his Aunt and Uncle, Darcy hoped to find some inner peace in the company of his good friend, Bingley. Then, to come face to face with Mr Wickham in the street, not a seven-night ago, while in the company of the Miss Bennets, vexed him greatly. Knowing George Wickham's character, Darcy understood the rake would impose himself on the young ladies in some fashion. This evening's conversation went a long way to discovering what influence he held over Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
"May I ask to where these questions tend?" he demanded when they once again met in the dance. Face becoming more severe by the moment, Darcy felt afraid. He needed to put the lady on her guard with respect to George Wickham.
"Merely to the illustration of your character," Elizabeth answered, attempting an easy countenance.
Yet her mind became struck with the wise words of her sister. The same night that Wickham happily shared his story of woe, Jane cautioned Lizzy to hold her opinion until she knew both gentlemen better. Elizabeth began to wonder, with Mr Wickham's sudden business in town and such a short acquaintance, should she believe in him so implicitly? True, Jane's character wanted to see the good in all people and give the benefit of doubt. Her sister's goodness and kindness outdid Lizzy in every aspect. Her dislike of Mr Darcy, voiced before Wickham told his tale, suddenly gave her much unease. Had she allowed his remark at the Meryton Assembly to colour her opinion of both gentlemen?
"I am trying to make it out," Elizabeth commented, a frown marring her brow.
Once again the dance took them from each other. Darcy cast his mind back to the reason for accepting Bingley's invitation. From the very first, Darcy had decided not to attend social functions while in Hertfordshire. He wished only for the serenity of the country not far from his sister in London. Bingley had been most insistent he accompany the party to the Assembly Rooms at Meryton and meet the local society. In his friend's house, Darcy could hardly refuse, particularly as he suspected Miss Bingley would then also choose to remain behind with him. He had managed to sidestep many of the young women attending the dance and hunting a rich husband with his sombre attitude.
After being pressed by Bingley to dance, and declining to do so in the most animated language, Darcy noticed Miss Elizabeth Bennett sitting not far away. He feared the woman overheard his caustic comments emanating from his foul mood and felt sorry, but not enough to make amends. She'd then moved across in front of him, not to gain his attention although she accomplished that task with her twinkling eyes and mocking smile. Going to her confidante, Miss Lucas, Darcy felt she laughed at him and his behaviour. He watched Miss Bennet the remainder of the night, only to understand her jovial nature better.
"And what is your success?" Surprised at this turn of events and the contemplative expression on his partner's face, Darcy dare not question his good fortune. It seemed Miss Bennet had doubts about the verity of Wickham's tale.
During the young ladies' stay at Netherfield, Darcy could see no interest in Miss Elizabeth's countenance towards him. Unlike woman of the ton, she didn't flirt or seek his attention, couldn't be swayed by his position in society and seemed ill-at-ease with his wealth. Given the chance, Miss Bennet flatly refused to stand up with him at Lucas Lodge, although in the most polite way possible. Her behaviour intrigued Darcy almost to distraction. Never had a woman treated him thus in his entire life. Her behaviour drew his attention and admiration.
Darcy began to watch the woman more closely every time they happened upon each other in company. He'd observed the distress her mother's vulgar behaviour caused the day she'd visited Netherfield. Darcy's eyes and sharp mind missed very little. The elder Bennet sisters would always suffer because of their relations' vulgarity and low connections.
Yet he questioned this sudden interest in his temper. Exactly what tale of woe had George Wickham inflicted upon Miss Bennet for her to hint at a slight on his character? Darcy looked deeply into the fine eyes he'd come to admire, and noticed confusion.
Conflict raged within him. Should he open his actions to this woman, allow her to see behind the polite manners of Mr Wickham. What if Elizabeth Bennet were his next target, or her foolish sisters? Darcy could not stand the thought of her being abused so, or her family ruined. Her character would surely forbid such behaviour. She'd seemed sensible, lively and quick of wit. Wickham could be just as deviously charming, but enough to tempt Miss Bennet into betraying her morals as a gentlewoman he doubted, but her younger sisters seemed easy prey? Darcy found the thought angered him further.
"I do not get on at all," Elizabeth confessed with a bewildered tone. Mr Darcy's answers were not what Lizzy expected. He seemed eager to talk and yet said nothing of any great importance. "I hear such different accounts of you as to puzzle me exceedingly."
"I wish, Miss Bennet, that you would not attempt to sketch my character at the present moment," Darcy felt impelled to make the request. With Wickham in the neighbourhood, his resentful temper appeared. Fitzwilliam did not want his feeling towards that man to colour his admiration for Elizabeth. Leading her from the dance floor, he initially intended to return the lady to her friend, Miss Lucas. "I fear the performance would reflect no credit on either of us," he stated, readying himself to escape her presence.
"But if I don't take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity," Elizabeth responded. Dissatisfied with the conversation, she had not been given the time or chance to enquire about Mr Darcy's dealing with Mr Wickham in even the most general way. Still, Lizzy had only one side of this most puzzling story.
"I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours," Darcy stated. Suddenly making a decision, one that might open him to ridicule, he changed the direction of both their destination and conversation. Remembering their discussion in this very house about pride, he found a quiet corner where they would not be easily overheard. "I fear there is more behind your words than a mere illustration of my character. Speak plainly, Miss Bennet, what is it you wish to know?"
"Your dealings with Mr Wickham," she hissed, finding her heart leaping into her mouth at this unexpected turn of events.
"I see," Darcy frowned, wondering where to begin. However, Elizabeth mistook his hesitation, if her expression was anything to go by. "Tell me how he gained your trust? Under what circumstance did he impose himself upon you," he demanded, suddenly on the offensive.
Taking in a deep breath, Elizabeth felt afraid. Something in Mr Darcy's countenance spoke of ill deeds and bad will. Only Lizzy wasn't sure she wished to know who the perpetrator was and who the victim. For the first time, she questioned her understanding of human nature by asking if Mr Wickham might have misled her.
"You played together as boys," she said, watching Mr Darcy's reactions carefully.
"Yes," Darcy agreed solemnly but with a hint of displeasure. "Do not trifle with me Miss Bennet. I have no patience where that man is concerned. He has caused my family a great deal of grief and I thought myself rid of him for good."
"You denied Mr Wickham the living your father wished for him," Elizabeth, angered by his pride, hissed.
To her great surprise, Mr Darcy laughed. Not a happy sound, but one steeped in anger and frustration. "And this is your opinion of me? That I am a man able to hold another's livelihood to ransom? Well, let me inform you of a few facts that I am sure Mr Wickham has withheld for his own nefarious reasons. George Wickham had no intention of taking orders and lacks the character beholden to a man of the cloth. When my esteemed father passed, his godson approached me, refusing the living and seeking immediate gratification; I compensated him amply, as my duty to my Father demanded. I felt it to be the best compromise under the circumstances. I could not, in all conscious, place a man with the lack of every moral decency in the position of minister to the people of Kympton. In return, I insisted on him giving up the living, which I had Wickham sign legal documents to that extent, so all association between us could be dissolved."
"How," disbelief and shock coloured Elizabeth's words, "did you compensate Mr Wickham?"
"With the sum of £3000," Darcy stated in a deadly tone. "Wickham expressed a wish to study the law which I hoped to be true. My father sent us both to be educated at Cambridge. His morals there left me in little doubt that his word could be trusted. Indeed, any young man with such an education could have easily made his way in the world. Wickham chooses the path of debauchery and indolence, reducing him to his current level of poverty, and leaving debts and ruined girls in his wake."
This bitterness, Elizabeth knew, extended from more than meeting Mr Wickham in Meryton. "What else?" she requested. A flash of pain crossed Mr Darcy's face and, suddenly, Lizzy wondered if she wished to know the full extent of her once favourite's misdemeanours.
"Last summer, Mr Wickham imposed himself on my fifteen year old sister," Darcy closed his eyes as he recounted the barest facts in a mere whisper. "She believed herself to be in love. Had I arrived one day later, he would have eloped, gaining access to Georgiana's fortune and ruining her life."
"Mr Darcy," Elizabeth cried. She understood the implications of such an act. Mr Darcy would never make such a slanderous accusation against his own sister. "Mr Wickham, then, is not a man to be trusted."
"Upon leaving Ramsgate," Darcy sighed, hoping he would not offend the sensibilities of a young woman, "more things were broken than could ever be fixed." Elizabeth's sharp intake of breath meant she understood his words and the meaning behind them. "I implore you to leave my sister's part in this out of any retelling. No shopkeeper or tradesman in Meryton should offer credit, nor any fathers allow him access to his daughters. Mr Wickham is a man without morals or sense."
"Mr Darcy," Elizabeth didn't quite know what to say at this most painful confession. As with Mr Wickham, the story had come out with little ceremony and there was honesty in all his looks. Yet, Lizzy truly believed Mr Darcy's version. Only the near loss of a beloved sister could force this austere man to demonstrate such heartfelt emotion. Needing to think upon this revelation, Lizzy curtseyed, mumbled her thanks and scurried to Charlotte.