How to Be Married
Hey just a wee story while I finish another lifetime movie. Considering making this into a longer story about Rachel and Puck's marriage. Yes or no?
Disclaimer; I don't own anything.
Rachel made Puck do a lot of things in their life as husband and wife.
She made him pick up his socks, and cook dinner once a week (he did this happily, Rachel could cook nothing but cookies), and she made him take Finn with him everywhere since he and Quinn broke up, again. They'd been married three months when she insisted that he help her throw a dinner party, and she made him let her cook all the food. He should have known it was a bad idea when she burnt the bottom of the pan – boiling water. Yet she had shot him that irresistible smile, the cute one (high school Puck groaned at his own whipped-ness) and convinced him it was OK to let her continue. He shouldn't have caved.
It was three hours later, their guests had long since arrived when Puck walked into the kitchen again after being forced out to mingle to a very interesting sight.
"Rach," he began carefully, slowly approaching her slumped figure, head in hands on the counter top "Is, em, is everything all right?" He tried gently. Her shoulders shook with the weight of her sobs. He immediately was by her side, hand on her back, running through her hair trying to soothe her. "What's wrong babe?" He asked concerned.
"I'm an awful wife!" She lamented into her arms "You should never have married me." Puck had not been expecting that.
"What," he asked perplexed "Who told you that? I knew we shouldn't have invited that Jesse St Douche." (Another thing she'd made him do)
"No," she sobbed relentless "I ensure you, this was a conclusion I came to all on my own! I am a terrible wife."
"No you're not." He coaxed gently, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and crouching, attempting to see her face "You're a fantastic wife!"
She refused his ministrations "No." She decided "I'm horrible, maybe it would be best if we divorce now before it goes to far, I'm sorry, I should have been honest with you from the start about my wifely skills. I understand if you want to walk away with your heart still intact, you can have the apartment." she sniffled hopelessly and Puck suddenly felt extremely alarmed his chest restricting and he was finding it very hard to breathe.
"What?" He asked again "You? Fuck Rach you want a divorce?" He tried to control his breathing, to no avail.
"Of course not!" She wailed her sobs returning full force "But you do Noah, you just don't know it." Relief coursed through him and he let out a sigh of relief as welcomed air entered his lungs, which had been frozen in shock.
"All right Crazy, wrap it up." He said, circling his arms around her waist and pulling her to her feet swiftly, "No ones divorcing anybody tonight, We've got guests waiting." Rachel didn't move from where Puck had placed her so he spun her around to face him and immediately burst out with uncontrollable laughter. Rachel had successfully smeared herself in just about every dish she had been cooking, there were vegetable and sauce on her face, in her hair and all the way down her bright yellow sun dress, the sauce having intermingled with the flour creating an extremely gooey substance.
"Rach, what happened?" He asked between laughter, she blushed deeply, the tears seeming to have given way to a childish petulance."
"I was, well, I was blending the sauce for the pasta and I forget, I didn't realise... I feel they should make it more clear on the packaging that the lid should go on the blender immediately to prevent unknowing amateur cooks like myself making these small faux-pas!"
Puck continued to laugh as Rachel pouted, her cheeks getting a deeper red by the second. "I'm sorry," he breathed between laughter "It' just-"
"I'm a pathetic excuse for a wife who can't even cook for her husband, their families and their closest friends, I know, you don't need to rub it in Noah." she huffed angrily. He immediately sobered up his smirk, however, still in place.
"Hey," he said soothingly "You're a fucking fantastic wife who throws a fucking fantastic dinner party. I blame the blender." He told her comfortingly.
"Really?" she asked looking up at him as his arms went around her waist and he successfully transferred a lot of the debris to himself.
"Absolutely. It's bad design. Now I know that you wanted to make what would have been an amazing dinner," he said "But how about you show everyone one of your sexy and smart husbands' greatest skills? Ordering in?"
Rachel let out a wet laugh and smiled up at Noah "OK. I think pizza sounds good."
Puck smiled and lowered down enough to kiss her soundly on the lips "See this is why we are so good together. I was thinking the exact same thing!"
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