Meet Me At The End
Fanfic- Cherimon
That night Alex had conned Charlie into sex. This was how most nights went. Alex would get Charlie drunk and have his way with him. Charlie would just be minding his own business, drinking spiked drinks, and the next thing he remembers, he's hanging off the edge of Alex's bed, jolting back and forth, moaning and groaning. A mixture of pain and pleasure.
It's not like Charlie didn't like sex, because he did. It wasn't that Charlie was straight, because he wasn't. It wasn't that Alex was his best friend, they had ruined that almost 3 years ago. It was the way Alex liked it. Charlie liked it soft, romantic and lots a kisses. Alex liked it fast hard and painful. He would scratch and wound Charlie. He would make him bleed and make him cry.
Every time Charlie woke up naked beside Alex, he hated himself a bit more and liked Alex a bit less. He would grab his boxers, pull them on and go to his room. Usually he would fall asleep and dream that it didn't happen. Sometimes, on unlucky days, Charlie would just lay down, looking at the ceiling and contemplate suicide. He knew how drastic he was thinking but he thought it anyway. Sometimes he would plan how he did it. Over the past 2 and half years since 'IT' happened, Charlie had written over 100 different suicide notes. He had also thrown away over 100 different suicide notes. Charlie never cut, he never tied a noose and never had he held a gun to head. He could not go forward with his plans to end his life because he thought Alex could change. But in those 2 and half years, Alex had not changed a bit. He was still the dirty minded rough sex kind of guy. But Charlie had hope. A lot of hope.
It all started the day they moved in together. Alex had broken up with his long term girlfriend and Charlie had had a bad date.
"I'm so sick of girls, they're so judgemental. Sarah thinks I'm gay because I'd rather move in with you than her." Alex had scoffed.
"Yeah, Louise walked out when she heard I lived with a guy. Why is that weird? It's not weird is it?" Charlie had complained.
Alex looked up and Charlie and Charlie looked back.
"Let's make it weird." Was all Alex said before pinning Charlie against the cream wall and kissing him forcefully. They had sex. Not romantic sex with lots of kissing, rough dangerous sex that meant Charlie had lay down straight away to stop the pain. After a while Alex came into Charlie's room and sat on the bed. It was awkward
"Now it's weird." Charlie said and they were in stitches.
And that was the way it would be. Weird. It was weird that Alex had strange sexual fantasies. It was weird that Charlie didn't say anything. It was weird that Charlie let Alex hurt him. It was weird that they carried on their lives, not realising the effect their love affair would have on themselves.
So, on the night Alex and Charlie had sex for the 912th time, Charlie was in more pain then he had been before. Alex had had a bad day and he didn't see the problem with taking is anger out on poor, innocent Charlie. When Alex was done with him, he left the unconscious Charlie on the edge of his bed and went to sleep in his own room. After an hour Charlie woke up in agonising pain all over his body. His back felt sticky and unusually warm. He slowly reached an arm to to feel his back. His soft finger brushed over warm sticky substance. Pulled his arm back to see his fingers red with blood. He put his hand on his back again and traced three long deep open scars along his back. He winced and hissed.
The moonlight shone through a small gap in his curtains, showing the white bed sheet stained with blood spots. Charlie began to shake and he collapsed from his hands and knees position. He cried himself to sleep, unable to block out the pain.
In the morning, the blood had dried up and the scars were a bit faded. Charlie reached for his phone. There was a text from Lola. 'Good morning babe x' Charlie hit his head and stuffed the phone into his pocket. He had to get Alex to stop. Charlie had a girlfriend! Yes, they weren't physical yet, but that was not the point. After getting dressed Charlie stormed into Alex's bedroom.
"This has to stop!" Alex sat up as Charlie spoke.
"What has to stop?"
"THIS!" Charlie pointing at Alex, then himself.
"Why?-" Alex got up and started undressing Charlie. "Do you not like it?" He whispered between neck kisses. Alex pulled Charlie's skinny jeans down, followed by his boxers. Alex traced a line of kisses down his chest onto his half hard cock. Charlie whimpered as Alex took all of him in his mouth.
"No! Alex, I have a girlfriend. I can't do this." Charlie squirmed and, when Alex didn't stop, he pushed him back onto the bed. Charlie hurriedly put his clothes back on.
"Alex, if this can't stop, I'm moving out." Charlie rushed out the the house. He needed coffee. He walked to the nearest Starbucks and ordered a high caffeinated mocha latte something or other with marshmallows and cocoa dusting.
As he sat down, he pulled his phone from his pocket, unlocking it to send Lola a text.
'Morning, can you meet me in Starbucks?'
He had to tell her.
He waited for her to arrive or reply and slowly sipped his caffeine concoction. He was chewing on his second marshmallow when the bell above the door tinkled and Lola walked in. She spotted Charlie straight away and sat in the chair across from him. They lent over the table and kissed. It was an awkward kiss, not like the way Alex kissed. Charlie pushed all Alex related thoughts to the back of his mind. Lola went to the counter to order a fat free skinny latte without cream or caffeine with no marshmallows or cocoa dusting with low fat milk and Charlie thought, for the first time, she was difficult.
When she relaxed at the table, Charlie blurted out the worst thing.
"When are you ready for sex?" She looked surprised.
"Oh my god. That came out wrong I'm sorry I'll just leave." Charlie stood up to go and Lola stuck her hand out to stop him.
"No, it's okay. I'm ready." She whispered. "I'm guessing Alex is at your place so lets got to mine."
They left and walked to Lola's apartment block. In the lift they began kissing and they almost banged down her door going in. They reached the bedroom and fell onto the bed. They briefly broke apart to pull clothes off each other.
"Charlie, this is my first time." Lola whispered.
"This is my first time too." With a girl, the voice in his snarled. They began kissing again, their naked bodies pushing against each other.
As Charlie lay awake next to a sleeping Lola, so much was going on in his head.
His back hurt, even worse. She had barely touched it but it hurt so bad. He was not bleeding but he thought he would pass out from the pain. He had to admit that it wasn't as good as it was with Alex.
He regretted it. He wished he hadn't done that. He wished he never started dating her. He wish he could be with Alex.
Charlie hit his palm against his face.
"What's wrong with me? I've been such a mess recently." Charlie whispered to himself. He thought the best thing to do was go home. He had no interest in Lola when she was sleeping. She snored, which was a big turn off for Charlie. He got dressed and went home, just as the sun was setting.
Charlie quietly unlocked the door and crept in. He didn't turn on the light and walked straight through the kitchen to TV room and sat on the sofa. He huffed and sighed loudly.
"I was thought you wouldn't return." Alex whispered, causing Charlie to jump. The lights turned on and Charlie saw Alex by the switch.
"You didn't have to wait up for me." Charlie muttered, turning his back toward Alex.
"I wanted to. It's my decision." Alex hissed through clenched teeth.
"Well, I do things I don't want to do all the time, and it's never my decision to do it." Charlie snarled back, standing up and walking towards Alex.
"What are you talking about?" Alex yelled, stopping Charlie from stomping past, his hands on his shoulders.
"Oh, nothing." Charlie whispered, his voice failing him and he his head drooped down. Tears formed in his eyes and he tried to push passed Alex.
Alex lifted Charlie's chin so their eyes met.
"Charlie, what's wrong? I'm so worried about you." Alex whispered softly, pulling Charlie in to a soft warm hug. Charlie pulled away and the locked eyes again. The tears streamed down his face.
"Charlie. You know you can tell me anything." Alex whispered. "Seeing you this way kills me. Charlie, I-" Alex cut himself of as Charlie pushed him away.
"I'm going to bed." Charlie trembled, slamming his bedroom door. Alex leant back against the wall, stunned.
'Charlie is scaring me', he thought to himself, shaking his head and walking to his room.
Maybe it will be better in the morning.
Charlie hadn't realised how tired he was. He slept all night and half the next day. It was almost 3:00 when he finally woke up. He stretched and got up. He went and sat on he sofa, thinking about what to do.
He noticed that Alex's door was closed. Was Alex still asleep? Charlie thought.
Then he heard panting and groaning and quiet screaming and moaning and the bed rocking back and forth. Charlie's face went bright red.
Alex was having sex.
Without him.
Charlie felt a surge of jealous rush to his head. He clenched his teeth and his fists.
This feeling was new. He had never felt so jealous in his life. Maybe it was Envy. Whoever was in that room with Alex deserved to... DIE.
Charlie jumped up and raced to Alex's door, his hand hovering over the doorknob.
His fingers began to shake. His angry frown fell from his face and tears pricked his eyes.
"What's wrong with me?" Charlie asked himself, walking towards his room.
Charlie honestly thought something was wrong with him. It was a new kind of wrong but he felt it would stay the longest.
Was Charlie insane?
Had Alex finally driven him mad?
Alex's bedroom door opened and a Brunet boy walked out. Charlie faced him and the boy smiled awkwardly.
"Hi." He whispered, wiggling his fingers in the air. Charlie's eyes narrowed and he lunged at him, tackling him to the ground. He started punching him and kicking him.
The boy could only scream.
Alex came running out and pulled Charlie off his new lover and shove Charlie onto the opposite wall.
"What the FUCK!?" Alex yelled, directing his anger at Charlie.
"He just started hitting me." The brunet boy complained. Alex turned his head towards him.
"It's okay, I know. I'm shouting at Charlie." Alex soothed. He turned back to Charlie, who was slumped against the wall. He was breathing hard and the silent tears were running down his face.
"What was that for?!" Alex shouted, causing Charlie to flinch. Charlie didn't answer and slid to the ground, holding his knees.
"You could have hurt Sam. What the fuck is wrong with you?! " Alex continued.
Charlie looked up from the ground into Alex's eyes.
"I don't know." Charlie whispered, his voice shaky and the tears still in his eyes.
Alex sighed and dragged Sam away, pushing him out the front door.
"See you Sam, another time." Alex shouted after him.
Alex turned back to Charlie and bent down so they were face to face.
"What's wrong? You're killing yourself." Alex whispered, the anger fading into concern. "You're killing me. I-" Charlie cut him off.
"I just feel like the worst person. I'm cheating on Lola with you and then when I finally got her into bed I lost interest and I just fell horrible and then when you were with Sam I got so jealous and I know I said it had to stop and my back... It hurts so much and it was bleeding and I feel so weak and maybe I'm crazy but I just don't even know who I am anymore and I don't know what kind of ice cream I like best never mind my sexuality I guess I don't find Lola attractive anymore and I'm just so confused and I'm losing myself. And the pain, it's so much." Charlie blubbered, tears coming at a rapid rate. Alex pulled him into a tight hug and kissed the top of his head.
"Charlie it's okay, I'm here for you. I love you." Alex soothed.
Charlie pulled away and looked up.
"I... I love... I love you too." Charlie whispered, hugging Alex tighter. A warm smile was plastered onto Alex's face, and he felt nothing could wipe it away.
Unless...
"But, I love Lola too." Charlie sighed, causing Alex's smile to shatter.
They both pulled from the hug and stood awkwardly face to face.
"Hang on, what's wrong with your back?" Alex queried. "Let me have a look."
"No, it's fine." Charlie brushed off, not wanting Alex to see the scars. Ignoring Charlie, Alex pulled off Charlie's tee shirt and turned him around.
Alex gasped loudly and he made Charlie face him again.
"How did that happen?" Alex asked, full of concern. He asked again when Charlie didn't answer.
"It's nothing." Charlie muttered.
"Bullshit. Did someone do this to you?" Alex pressed in a worried tone.
"You want to know? Fine! You did. You hurt me every time I end up in bed with you, but this has been the worst." Charlie snarled. Alex's eyes darted away from Charlie's eyes.
"I didn't... I didn't know I was hurting you... I'm so sorry." Alex whispered, his voice refusing to be louder.
Charlie held Alex's right hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Alex's sad face making Charlie lose his anger.
"I'm an idiot. I don't deserve to live. You're so important to me and I kept hurting you. What kind of person does that?" Alex's voice cracked, tears rolling down his cheeks. Charlie shushed him softly and kissed him. Their lips barely pushed against each other, just the contact to make things okay. For the moment.
Alex pulled away first.
"I'm going out." He shouted as he walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Charlie ran after him, yanking the door open.
On his door step, was a very surprised Lola.
"Hey, I was just about to knock and then Alex came out and is this a bad time?" Lola asked. Charlie noticed she was carrying a black bag.
"No, it's not a bad time, come in." Charlie smiled, moving sideways to let her in before closing the door. A brave face for his girlfriend, he just hoped she couldn't tell he had been crying.
They sat on the sofa and she waved the bag in front of Charlie's face.
"Guess what this is?" She sang.
"I don't know." Charlie shrugged, completely non-the-wiser.
"This is a bag from Victoria Secret," she smiled cheekily, still swinging the bag.
"Oh, what did you get!" Charlie asked. She tapped her nose.
"I'll put it on and you'll see." She giggle, and went into the bathroom. About two minutes later she came out in a black bra and underwear with a cat ears headband and a tail.
"Meow" Lola purred.
Charlie had to restrain himself from calling her stupid or saying that it was a waste of money.
She half crawled over and straddled him. She kissed his neck and his collar bones. She slowly took off his clothes.
Charlie did not enjoy sex with Lola. It was as simple as that. It felt so wrong. He wanted to break up with her, but he couldn't. He'd be a douche if he did, right after they have sex for the first time. So, he promised himself to wait it out for a month and then break up with her. And in that time, find a reason to break up with her, other than the sex is shit and I'm fucking my best friend who's has a penis. That would be a stupid break up.
After the terrible sex, Lola left. And after Charlie had watched three episodes of TBBT, Alex came home.
"Hey." Alex muttered as he slumped onto the couch.
"Hey." Charlie muttered back, on protocol.
"Charlie, I... I'm-" Alex stammered, Turing to face Charlie. "-I'm going to... Never mind."
Charlie looked at him with a puzzled expression.
"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the wobble in Alex's voice.
"Nothing, it doesn't matter." Alex mumbled, turning his attention to the forth episode of TBBT.
Charlie turned back to the TV, still concerned. They watched TV all evening, not sharing much conversation except simple stuff, such as "Tea?" And "Cheers."
Then Charlie yawned and suddenly felt very sleepy, as if he had been sleep deprived for months. He slowly paced into his room, after yawning goodnight, and slid under the covers, not bothering to change. He fell asleep within seconds.
He woke up and looked over at his clock. It was 14:12. He had slept late again. Charlie got up and changed. Then he went into the kitchen for food. He ate it quickly and wondered where Alex was. His eyes darted to Alex's bedroom door, which was slightly open. Charlie crept up and looked through the gap. There was no Alex. There was no anything. The room was empty. The bed and cupboard was gone. Alex's posters and his bedside table, gone. Charlie walked into the middle, unable to understand, and fell to the ground, tears streaming down his face.
"Why did you leave me Alex? What did I do wrong? Please come back, I love you." Charlie whispered to himself, as if his words would bring Alex back.
Charlie's wet eyes locked onto a piece of lined paper. He reached out and snatched into his trembling fingers. It was folded over twice and Charlie almost ripped it open. His tears fell onto the open paper and he read aloud the rushed words on the page.
"I hurt you. Never again. Goodbye Charlie."
The tears were escaping his eyes at a fast rate and nothing could make them go away. This...betrayal felt worse than any pain Alex had caused him. He would take a hundred wounds if it meant Alex would return. Charlie scrunched up the paper and threw it at the wall, without much effort.
He wasn't angry. He was lonely.
The doorbell chimed and he sprinted to it, pulling it open.
"ALEX?" He yelled, causing Lola to jump.
"Nope... Just Lola..." She muttered awkwardly, waiting to be asked in, ignoring the tears on his face.
"Oh." Charlie whispered as he let her in.
"So, this morning I checked my texts and when I saw the one from you, it was quite a surprise. But none the less, I agree. Where should I put my stuff?" Lola explained.
"What text?" Charlie asked, confused.
"The one you sent this morning. You asked me to move in, silly!" She laughed, opening the door to let a man in. He was carrying two cardboard boxes which he dumped on the table.
"What's going on?!" Charlie stammered, pushing the guy outside.
"I'm moving in!" She said calmly as she opened a box and took out cushions.
"WHY!?" Charlie yelled.
"Because you asked me too." She growled through her teeth.
"No! No I did not!" Charlie shouted, putting the cushions back in the box.
"You sent me a text you moron!" She exclaimed.
"I never sent you any text!" Charlie screeched.
She pulled out her phone and shoved it in his face. He read it quickly and saw that there was a text asking her to move in sent from his phone.
"I never sent you that text." He grunted.
And then he realised who had.
"Alex." He muttered. Lola looked at him funny.
"Alex moved out this morning with me noticing, he must have sent the text from my phone!" Charlie explained. Lola looked at Charlie with a strange expression on her face.
"Sorry, but I don't want you to move in just yet. In fact, I don't want you to move in EVER. It's over." Charlie said as he turned to look her in the eye.
"What?!" She gulped.
"I'm breaking up with you. I'm in love with someone else." Charlie explained.
"That's pathetic! You think I believe you love somebody else! If you wanted to get rid of me so bad then why didn't you-" she paused her shouts to think.
"No, it's true. I'm in love with Alex. Now if you don't mind, I want you to leave." Charlie huffed, pushing her out and dropping the boxes into her hands.
"But-" she whimpered, a look of anger and confusion on her face.
"Goodbye Lola!" Charlie shouted as he slammed the door.
Charlie stepped back and collapsed onto the floor.
He had no Alex.
Alex had left him.
He felt weak.
Empty.
So very alone.
Maybe he could call him. He took his phone from his pocket and looked for his contact.
It was gone. Alex deleted it.
Luckily, Charlie knew it off by heart and he dialled the number.
"Alex?" Charlie's voice whimpered
"No, sorry mate. You've got the wrong number." A Gordie accent replied before hanging up.
Alex was truly gone.
Charlie three the phone into the air, as the ringing scared him.
The number was unknown.
It could be Alex. Charlie answered and pressed the phone to his ear.
"ALEX?!" Charlie yelled down the phone.
"No, Charlie, it's Dan." The voice on the other side sighed.
"Oh, hey Dan." Charlie's voice drooped.
"So... Charlie, I was wondering if... You want to be in my new video?" Dan asked.
"Yes. Dan, I'd love to." Charlie said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, but he feared it sounded like sarcasm.
"Great! Can you come over today?" You could hear the smile in Dans voice.
"Yes sure what time?" Charlie said.
"In an hour and a half...?" Dan suggested.
"Okay, I'll see you then." Charlie stated and they said their goodbyes. Charlie put the phone on the ground and stood up straight.
He went to the shower because he was sure Dan would be able to smell the rejection on him. After his shower, Charlie pulled on a random t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He picked up his phone and trudged outside, ignoring the rumble in his stomach, and started walking to Dan and Phils.
When he got there, right on time, he rung the bell and the door was pulled open.
"Hello!" Dan chirped.
"Hiya." Charlie replied.
"Hey Charlie!" Phil called out, from his bedroom.
"Hi Phil." Charlie called back.
Dan pulled Charlie to the couch and sat him on the sofa and sat next to him.
Dan turned on his camera and started talking.
"Hello Internet. Today, I have Charlie with me! Yay! So today, we're going to play truth or dare!" Dan smiled when Charlie didn't object.
"Okay,-" he pulled a piece of paper from a hat. "- Charlie, it's a TRUTH. Who do you fancy?" Dan asked, turning to Charlie for the answer.
"Urrrr... Do I have to say..?" He asked uncertainly. Dan nodded.
"Well, here goes... I like... Alex." He sighed as the words escaped his mouth.
Dan didn't look surprised and he passed the hat.
"Okay, Dan. This is a DARE! I dare you to kiss Phil." Charlie read out from the unfolded paper in front of him. He watched as Dans face went bright red and Charlie picked up the camera.
He held the camera still as he filmed Dan walk into Phils room and he watched awkwardly as Dan kissed Phil. Phils eyes bulged in surprise but he soon relaxed into the kiss. They kissed for at least ten seconds, after that Charlie stopped counting, and only broke apart when Charlie coughed.
"We'll cut that down." Dan whispered as he brought the camera back into the living room.
"Okay... Charlie, DARE!" Dan laughed, as he read aloud. "I dare you to take if your shirt... Who writes these dares?" Dan asked, looking around.
"The fangirls!" Charlie laughed before removing his chocolate rain shirt.
"Well, I'm cold." Charlie laughed awkwardly.
"I can tell." Dan laughed, averting his eyes.
There was a beep beep as Dan got a text and he pulled out his phone to read it.
"Okay, we have to go now!" Dan yelled and Phil came running out.
"It's time?!" Phil danced excitedly.
"Yes!" Dan shouted as he turned of the camera and pushed Charlie and Phil outside, locking the door behind him.
"What's going on?" Charlie asked.
"We need to take you home. It's an emergency." Dan said calmly.
They rushed to his house and Charlie quickly unlocked it. Dan and Phil pushed him in and closed the door.
The living room/kitchen was dark, the only light coming from Alex's room. Curious, Charlie went through the room and stood outside Alex's bedroom. There was an ominous glow coming through the door and Charlie felt compelled to enter.
Inside were a thousand candles, rows and rows. In the middle, a person was standing with their back to Charlie. Alex turned to face Charlie and pulled him into the middle of the circle of candles.
"What's going on?!" Charlie stammered, unable to comprehend the situation.
Alex got down on one knee and pulled a small box from his pocket.
"Charlie, I've hurt you. I regret every scratch I have cause on your body. I truly destroyed you. But, I can't be without you. So, I need to ask...
Will you marry me?" Alex smiled, opening the box to reveal a ring.
Charlie looked at the ring. Charlie looked at Alex. Charlie looked at the candles. Charlie looked at the door, his feet moving towards it. He was leaving. He had to.
Then he stopped, his fingers around the doorknob. He turned on his heal and he just looked at Alex. Charlie took it all in.
"Of course I'll marry you, you big idiot!" He yelled, jumping on to him.