Apologies, this is un-beta'd and fueled by insomnia, so forgive me if it makes no sense to anyone not inside my own head. Set a week after the shenanigans of CA:TWS, explaining Hawkeye's absence.
Jarvis alerted the residents of the tower of the approach of one Clint Barton a week after the fall of SHIELD/HYDRA as soon as he crossed the George Washington Bridge into Manhattan. Clint knew the systems would, and he was prepared for what was likely to be a less-than-warm welcome from the rest of the Avengers. He was not however expecting his partner to drop out of the ceiling of Stark's private underground garage as soon as he had stepped away from the motorcycle he had "borrowed" when he hit the States.
He let her drop him to the floor, knowing damn good and well that if he resisted her at all she would kick his ass sixteen ways to Sunday. "Nice to see you too Nat, how's it hangin'?". Playing things cool with a pissed-off assassin straddled across your chest holding one of her fully-primed Widows Bite's to his jugular: five points to Barton.
"Look me dead in the eyes and tell me you aren't HYDRA" the redhead growled down at him.
"I am not HYDRA"
"Then where the hell have you been the last week and why the hell haven't you contacted anyone?" she spat right back, grinding the metal contacts of the bite's a little deeper.
"Because I didn't know who I could trust! Half my team was trying to kill the other half, you and Steve were SHIELD's most-wanted, I didn't trust any form of communication out there to contact Stark without giving my location away to SHIELD, or HYDRA, or whatever it is! So yeah Nat, I went off-grid and got my ass back home from Timbuktu hoping to hell that you were going to be here waiting for me, safe and sound, and not dead in whatever ditch HYDRA wanted to dump you in!" Clint yelled right back, rearing his upper body upwards, forcing Natasha to sit back on his lap, changing their position so that they were face-to-face, close enough to kiss.
"Jarvis?" Natasha asked the AI, the contacts of the Bite's having never left Clint's throat even though she had let him sit up.
"Mr Barton's vital signs all indicate that he is telling the truth, Ms Romanof, and is in fact not affiliated with HYDRA" the AI's crisp tones replied from seemingly everywhere.
"Thank god" the redhead replied, simultaneously dropping her one arm from Clint's throat and disarming the Bite, and using the other to pull his face to hers, bridging the minuscule space between them and kissing his brains out. Clint wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.
Clint let himself get lost in her: the taste of her lips, the soft texture of her hair and skin, the soothing scent of that ridiculously expensive shampoo he liked to tease her about. All the things he was worried he would never get to experience again after the complete fiasco that was the fall of SHIELD. Then something pricked the edge of his senses, and he could tell from the change in the curve of her spine that Nat noticed it as well. Stark, coming to snoop no doubt.
Never breaking the kiss the pair of assassins simultaneously drew the hand guns they each knew the other had holstered behind their back, and pointed them unerringly at the elevator door the Avenger's used to access the garage right as the doors opened.
"Easy there kids, just coming down to say that firstly, it's good to know Legolas here is still on our team. And secondly, although I both admire your stamina, AND give thanks because you just won me the bet I had going with Pepper, you may want to come up for air before Capsicle gets down here and you embarrass the hell out of his old-fashioned sensibilities" Tony said as he leaned casually against the wall.
"How could you even for a second think I was Hydra?" Clint quietly asked after gently breaking the kiss with one more small one as he and Natasha simultaneously holstered their weapons.
"I didn't, but better safe than sorry as the saying goes" Natasha breathed back, resting her forehead against his, nipping in for a few more short kisses.
"Hey, excuse me, I'm still here waiting for you two to stop necking like teenagers" Tony interjected with all the patience of a five year old. "Let's not have today be the day where we have to explain the birds and the bees to the 95-year-old virgin".
Turning their faces a hair towards the pain-in-the-ass billionaire who was grinning like a mad man, Natasha answered "he knows".
"Knows what?" Tony replied, looking just a hair confused as the smile left his face, "about birds and bees, or you two?".
"Ok Stark, he lived in the actual 1940's, not a Frank Capra movie. They had sex back then. In fact, GI's basically got weekly warnings not to hook up with prostitutes so that they wouldn't end up with syphilis. Also, he knows about Clint and me" Natasha replied with a sly glint in her eye that Clint returned. "So does Bruce by the way, and Pepper, and Thor. Pretty sure Sam does too.
"How am I the last one to find out!?" the genius cried out in an exasperated whiny tone that downgraded him to a three year old attempting to dodge nap-time. Throwing his hands up in the air, Tony turned around and started to walk towards his latest project car, muttering about being the last to know, and having to pay Pepper.
"Sam?" Clint asked Natasha.
"New guy, helped us out last week. Ex USAF para-rescue, one of the guys that did the Kahlid Kendeel mission in Bakhmala a while back. In a nutshell, he flies".
Sliding off Clint's lap Natasha got to her feet, leaning down and offering Clint a hand up off the floor. "Come on, let's get upstairs and get you into the shower. Because as glad as I am to see you, you really need one".
"I'll scrub your back if you scrub mine" Clint replied with an easy smile. Stopping by the borrowed bike, he unstrapped the bag he had stashed his bow and quiver in from the seat, slinging it over one shoulder as he casually put the other around Natasha's shoulders and the pair walked together towards the elevators that would take them to their floor of the Avengers Tower. Giving Natasha a wicked grin as they stepped inside and hit the appropriate button, Clint sobered his face up before turning back to face Tony
"Hey, since you mentioned the bet, let Pepper know that I'll be collecting from her for you still not figuring out that we are married, and have been for a while.
The elevator doors shutting on the look on Tony Stark's face was simply priceless.