Wanda blew up the disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Well I had this little thought in my head and it had to come out.
Brotherhood Team Building
"All right troops listen up!" Mystique informed her charges. "Due to yesterday's incident with the hair dryer, the shaving cream and the toaster I believe it is time for a little exercise in teamwork." She glared at Wanda.
"Hey they got on my nerves!" Wanda snapped, pointing to the boys.
"A simple 'please move' would have sufficed," Lance grumbled, absently touching the Band-Aid on his cheek.
"Wanda we need everyone's help if we are going to defeat Magneto!" Mystique said.
"I don't need these idiot's help!" Wanda snapped. "Especially his!" She pointed to Pietro.
"Hey come on Wanda!" Todd said. "Magneto's the enemy yo, not your brother!"
"For once Toad has a point," Mystique said.
"Now that I have control of my powers I don't need anyone's help to get revenge on Magneto!" Wanda snapped. Immediately the lights began to flicker.
"Oh yeah," Todd whispered to Fred. "She's really in control."
"What did you say?" Wanda glared at him.
"I said we're gonna stick Magneto's head on a pole," Todd covered.
"Listen Wanda!" Mystique snapped. "Like it or not, you are part of this team! And if I have to learn to put up with these lunatics you have to too! Got it?"
"Fine," She folded her arms. "But I am not going to like it!"
"Fair enough," Mystique said. "Now we are going to try some Team Building exercises."
"What?" Pietro looked at her. "You mean those stupid psychological things they do in big corporate offices when they should be working?"
"You have got to be kidding me," Wanda glared at her. "I got enough of that garbage in the nuthouse!"
"This is nothing," Lance told her. "You should see what the X-Geek's idea of teamwork is. It involves sharp objects and flame-throwers."
"Look I know it's crazy and it's probably a waste of time," Mystique snapped. "But I need you clods to get your act together if we are going to defeat Magneto. I'm willing to try anything to accomplish this goal! And I mean anything so shut up and do what I say so we can be a team and work together!" Her voice had gotten higher at the end of her speech. She collected herself and then said in a much calmer tone. "Now why don't we start by writing one positive comment about a member of the team."
Lance looked at her as she handed out paper and pencils. "You have got to be kidding."
"Shut up and write something nice you idiot!" Mystique snapped. The Brotherhood scribbled things down hastily. "Okay who wants to go first?"
Todd raised his hand while hopping in his seat. "Oooh! Oooh! Ask me! I'll go first!"
"Oh brother," Mystique rolled her eyes. "Fine Toad we might as well get you over with. What's your nice comment?"
"My comment is for Wanda!" Todd perked up. "I think she is very pretty!" He blinked at her innocently.
"I do not believe this," Wanda grumbled.
"Neither do I," Pietro snapped.
"Moving on," Mystique said. "Blob how about you?"
"I like Wanda's hair," Fred smiled at her.
"I'm starting to get the feeling I've moved from one asylum to another," Wanda grumbled.
"I'm seeing a pattern here," Mystique groaned.
"And I'm seeing red!" Pietro snapped. "Don't even think about it you losers!"
"Hey don't you tell them to back off!" Wanda snapped. "I will tell them to back off!"
"Okay let's move along," Mystique snapped. "Lance are you going to join the love-fest here?"
"No my comment is for Pietro," Lance read his slip. "You are definitely less psychotic than your sister."
"What!?!" Wanda screamed. The lights started to flicker. One of them shattered.
"NONONONONO!" Mystique screamed holding her back. "Wanda no…No! Don't kill him! Lance apologize now!"
"Geeze I was just trying to say something nice!" Lance snapped. "I'm sorry already!"
"Wanda why don't you go next?" Mystique said.
"I have a comment," Wanda said. "And it's for all of you boys. Thanks to you guys I no longer feel like I'm the crazy one of the group." She folded her arms. "Are we done yet?"
"No your brother has to go," Mystique told her. "Go ahead Pietro."
"Uh can I change mine?" Pietro asked. "It was going to be about how Wanda has control over her temper but obviously that's a lie."
"DIE!" Wanda shrieked as she jumped on top of Pietro.
"Help!" Pietro tried to escape, but Wanda had him in a headlock.
"I got five bucks says she kicks his butt yo!" Todd spoke up.
"You're on!" Lance snapped. "Come on Pietro! Snap out of it!"
"In your dreams Lance! Get him Wanda!" Fred shouted.
"STOP IT!" Mystique screamed grabbing them and trying to pull them apart. "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!"
"Aw come on Mystique," Fred pouted. "Just when the fight was getting good."
"Maybe the X-Men have the right idea using flame-throwers," Mystique muttered to herself.
"I still say she could have kicked his butt," Todd said to Fred.
"Okay may I remind you that the point of this is to learn how to work together and not kill each other?" Mystique snapped. "Let's move on!"
"There's more?" Lance whined.
"Yes!" Mystique snapped. "We are going to establish some bonds today even if I have to use duct tape to do it! Now, here is a ball." She took out an orange Nerf ball.
"Wow," Wanda said sarcastically. "Imagine that."
"Watch it smart mouth," Mystique said. "Now everyone gather in a circle." They grumbled at this. "I said everyone in a circle!" They obeyed. "Now we are going to warm up first by gently throwing the ball to one another. Everyone gets a turn."
"What is this? Preschool?" Lance snapped. "How's playing catch going to make us a team?"
"The book says it promotes a sense of team spirit in play or some kind of crap like that," Mystique shrugged. She gently tossed the ball to Fred. "Now throw it to Toad."
Fred did so. Unfortunately he put a little too much effort into it and Todd ended up sailing across the room. "Oops," Fred gulped. "Sorry buddy. I guess I don't know my own strength."
"I'm okay," Todd said in a funny voice as he wobbled back to the circle.
"Oh yeah I'm really feeling team spirit now," Lance snapped.
Todd threw the ball and it landed at Wanda's feet. Todd blinked at her. "Hi."
"Any more of this and I am going to be violently ill," Wanda grumbled. She picked up the ball and threw it at Pietro's face.
Pietro saw it coming and dodged it easily. However it hit Mystique in the face. "WANDA!" She snapped. "How could you hit me?"
"He moved!" She pointed at Pietro.
"Why did I come back? I'd be better off asking the X-men for help," Mystique groaned, holding her head in her hands. "Let's move on to something else shall we?"
"Yeah I vote we move to the Dairy Queen and get ourselves a snack!" Fred raised his hand.
"Good idea!" Lance said. "I'll get the jeep." They all started to leave.
"Freeze!" Mystique snapped. "Let's try this exercise." She took out a blindfold. "Pietro come over here."
"Now what?" Pietro grumbled as she put the blindfold on him. "We gonna play Pin the Tail on the Donkey?"
"I'm gonna play Pin Pietro's Mouth Shut if you don't start behaving," Mystique snapped.
"Oh I wanna play that game!" Wanda chirped.
"Quiet!" Mystique snapped. "Now the object of this game is to get Pietro from one end of the room to the other. Everyone has to call out and help him navigate the room around the obstacles." She put a few chairs around the room. "Okay, go."
"Go where?" Pietro asked.
"Turn right and walk about eight steps," Wanda said.
Pietro did so. Unfortunately on the seventh step he walked straight into the wall. "OW!"
"Hey I think I'm gonna like this game," Wanda smirked.
"Anybody but Wanda help me here?" Pietro snapped.
"Okay," Todd said. "Turn around and walk five paces to your left. Good. Now walk three more paces to your right. That's right. Now go three more paces to your left…"
"OW!" Pietro walked straight into a chair.
"HE SCORES!" Todd shouted with glee. Fred gave him a high five.
"That's it!" Pietro ripped the blindfold off. "I'm not playing anymore!"
"Okay let's forget that. Why don't we try this exercise," Mystique groaned as she led them to the dining room table. "Toad stand on the table."
"But you told me yesterday not to do that anymore," Todd looked at her with a confused look.
"Yes well today is an exception now get up there!" She growled, her headache growing by the minute. Todd reluctantly hopped on it. "Now," She said. "This next exercise is about trust in your fellow team mates. You fall backwards and the others will catch you! Got it! It's so simple even you can do it."
"What do you mean fall?" Todd's eyes became wide. "Like on purpose?"
"Oh this is gonna be good!" Pietro cackled, rubbing his hands with glee.
"I don't wanna fall and hit my head!" Todd yelped.
"We're not gonna let you fall," Mystique told him. Pietro laughed again. "Quiet Pietro! Now just fall backwards."
"You're gonna let me fall!" Todd whined. "I know it!"
"No we're going to catch you," Mystique said.
"Yeah besides if you do hit your head Toad it's not like you're going to damage anything," Lance snickered.
"Alvers you are not helping!" Mystique snapped. "Toad just fall off the table."
"No!" He whined. "You're gonna drop me!"
"We will not," Mystique told him.
"Yes you will!"
"No we won't."
"Yes you will!"
"No we won't!"
"Yes you will!"
"No we won't now shut up and fall!"
"No!"
"Just do it!"
"No! You'll drop me!"
"We won't drop you!"
"Yes you will. You'll let me fall! I know it!"
"We're not gonna let you fall and hurt yourself!" Mystique snapped. "Right guys?"
"Maybe," Wanda snickered.
"Oh I knew it! I'm gonna die!" Todd whined.
"Oh for crying out loud!" Lance groaned. "I'll do it!" He got up on the table and shoved Todd off. Todd landed right on Mystique.
"Oh I guess you did catch me," Todd gulped as he nervously got off Mystique.
"I need them all alive to fight Magneto," Mystique told herself quietly. "I need them all alive to fight Magneto…" She stood up and glared at Lance. "Okay Alvers will you show them how it's done?"
"Wow," Lance gulped. "I never realized how high it was up here."
"He's gonna chicken out," Fred elbowed Pietro.
"I am not!" Lance snapped. "I just need a minute."
"What do you need a minute for?" Fred asked.
"Just fall off Lance," Pietro snapped.
"Yeah we'll be here to catch you," Wanda snickered.
"Uh I need a few minutes…" Lance gulped.
"Not so easy is it?" Todd smirked. "Come on Lance, you're so tough you do it!"
"He won't do it," Fred told him. "He'll chicken out."
"I will not!" Lance snapped.
"Well then do it already!" Mystique snapped.
"Will you just give me a minute to get ready?" Lance snapped.
"You want me to push him off?" Pietro asked.
"Don't you dare push me off!" Lance shouted.
"Well it's the only way you're gonna do it!" Pietro said.
"I told you he'd chicken out," Fred said.
"I AM NOT CHICKENING OUT!" Lance snapped as he stepped down. "I just don't want to get a concussion from you morons!"
"I'll do it," Fred started to move towards the table.
"NO YOU DON'T!" Mystique snapped.
"Yeah we don't want to get flattened," Pietro said.
"I'll flatten you in a minute!" Fred made a fist.
"Hey nobody beats up my brother but me!" Wanda snapped at him.
"Will somebody go up there and fall off already?" Mystique snapped.
"I'm not gonna do it if he's down here!" Wanda snapped, glaring at Pietro.
"Well I'm not gonna do it if she's down here!" Pietro snapped glaring back at her.
"Oh for crying out loud!" Mystique got up on the table. "This is so simple! Watch me! Just fall back like this…" She did so.
And fell flat on the floor.
The Brotherhood stood around her. "I thought you were gonna catch her!" They all pointed to each other and started arguing again.
Mystique looked up at them with bleary eyes. "Okay," She muttered. "I'm gonna need a lot more help in getting revenge on Magneto than I thought. Maybe I should go ask the X-Men for help!"