Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basuke.

A/N: This story is roughly inspired by Murasakibara's birthday (Oct. 9th) and is set during the Teiko arc, but the characters are not written particularly according to canon. If you're reading, I hope you like it :)

Rating: T for some minor swearing.

The Pastry Predicament

Chapter 1

If there was one thing the members of the Generation of Miracles could agree on, it was that Murasakibara made the best birthday treats. They'd discovered this talent quite accidentally, but one day toward the end of December, Momoi had casually mentioned that Akashi's birthday would be missed because it was on the weekend. The tall purple haired player had apparently registered his teammate's upcoming birthday, and without consulting anyone, went to work.

On the Friday before Akashi's birthday, Murasakibara toted in a box that featured a shogi board made from a complexly layered sponge cake. The game pieces were painstakingly shaped from homemade mochi and the whole thing was to scale. He handed it to Akachin with a mumbled wish for a happy birthday. They could all see how much it meant to their captain, who let his guard down just enough to smile sincerely and with true warmth at the thoughtful gesture. Of course, there was playful teasing that Murasakibara had to make something for all of them when the time came, to which he'd simply shrugged and really, it had been forgotten as a joke.

Until January 31st rolled around, that is. Then it was Kuroko's birthday and he saw the gift of an elaborate croquembouche tower shaped into a series of basketballs. Chocolate sauce had been carefully traced over each one to replicate the design of the ball they all knew so well and they'd been filled with a rich vanilla pastry cream. Knowing that Murasakibara wasn't that fond of basketball, Kuroko had hugged his teammate tightly and accepted his hair being ruffled without complaint. While tasty, the strands of caramel on the pastries had proved sticky and there had been much laughter at the resulting mess.

Although she had enjoyed seeing these gestures, Momoi didn't think Mukkun would include her, or that he even knew when her birthday was. He did, on both accounts, and on May 4th she was overcome with joy to see what he'd made for her. Murasakibara had prepared a black forest cake that had clearly tripled the usual amount of luscious cherries in honor of her favorite food. The cream had turned a shade of pink that was very close to her hair and the cake had been liberally infused with cherry syrup to intensify the flavor. He'd decorated the top with "Sachin" spelled out in small homemade macaroons – naturally they were filled with cherry cream.

While Kise and Midorima both had doubts that the summer holiday might disrupt their turn, Murasakibara had faithfully lugged in their treats when the team met to celebrate their birthdays. For Kise, Murasakibara had constructed a "mirror" with the glass formed by smoothly pouring liquid sugar into a frame of sliceable sweetened jelly that had golden candy inside and the entire structure was reinforced over pale yellow almond cookies. The effect was quite beautiful and Kise had excitedly thanked his teammate. He was particularly pleased as he'd joined later than the others and had secretely been worried he might not be considered a true part of the group.

Nobody knew what to expect for Midorima's gift, but on July 7th they saw that Murasakibara was prepared to devote a lot of time to dessert. Murasakibara had baked a series of small green tea cakes and decorated them with Oha Asa lucky items created from a combination of homemade marshmallows and cookies. The reserved teen had smiled at the sight and his nod of appreciation told all of them he understood the thought that had gone into this present.

Aomine's turn at first seemed less elaborate, as Murasakibara had matter-of-factly prepared a variety of imagawayaki, boxed them up and wrapped the package in festive paper to give to Aomine on the appropriate day. Some of them were filled with the traditional sweet bean paste, but he'd also included some with custard, jelly, and even a few with a chocolate and almond mixture. What really set them apart, however, were the delicately pipped decorations on top of each one. In a sauce that complemented each type of filling, Murasakibara had drawn a series of abstract designs that elevated the humble desserts to small works of art.

And so it was with all of these outstanding efforts in mind that the others gathered together in mid-September, without Murasakibara present, for an emergency strategy session. After a few moments of discussing their relative strengths, or lack thereof, it became obvious they were desperately outclassed and had little hope of being able to offer anything of comparable quality, even with their combined efforts.

"Ki-chan! Can you copy a pastry chef if we found a video for you to watch?" Momoi's question was optimistically pitched, but there was an element of strain at its root.

"No, my copying ability doesn't work that way." Kise's dejected reply seemed to take the air out of the room along with it.

Collectively, they all turned toward Akashi. His scarlet eyes were thoughtful as he considered the problem. Finally coming to a resolution, he extracted his phone and after dialing someone and briefly making arrangements, he explained, "We have no choice. We only have around three weeks to master a dessert. I've recruited professional assistance."

The six of them reported for duty as assigned. They donned the aprons provided, stood at attention, and for all the world resembled a newly recruited set of military personnel. The expert gaze of the pastry chef, Sugimoto-sensei, could tell at a glance this would be hell for all involved – they had the will, but clearly no idea what the difference was between puff pastry and phyllo dough.

Just to be sure, he asked, "Have any of you had any experience with baking anything before?"

Momoi's hand shot up eagerly but Kuroko quickly grabbed it and lowered her arm before Sugimoto could see and calmed her with a quiet "Momoi-san, you don't want us to feel badly by being so far ahead of us, do you?"

"Sorry, Tetsu-kun, you're right. It is better if we all start together."

Aomine sent the smaller male a grateful look – they didn't need Momoi to be the leader in this project. They wanted to thank Murasakibara, not poison him.

The adult in charge realized he had a group of rank amateurs, but since one of them was his employer's son, he was definitely going to go about this as delicately as he could. So he started with what he thought was an easy question. "Okay then, what would you like to learn to make for your friend's birthday?"

They paused and looked at one another. Finally Kise bravely answered, "We know it should be purple. And definitely large, Murasakibaracchi has a big sweet tooth." They all nodded in agreement.

Sugimoto waited for more information but quickly grasped that was as far as they'd thought this through. With a silent sigh he tried to brace himself and accidentally caught Kuroko's eyes. Kuroko gave a polite nod and bow, "Please take care of us, we are sorry for the trouble."

At least they were courteous, Sugimoto thought optimistically. He began by going over some preliminary pastry skills so they could gain a better understanding of what they might want to make.

It turned out that good manners didn't mean shit, though, when it came to the ability to follow basic instructions that didn't involve a basketball. Well, to be fair, they all followed the instructions, but somehow each of them produced a result that was better suited to building material than a tasty confection.

As Sugimoto surveyed their various disasters, he realized it might be better to gather more information about the intended recipient so he could guide the lessons more efficiently.

"What type of sweets does Murasakibara-chan like?"

A chorus of: "Pocky." "Umaibo." "Kinoko No Yama." "Bisuko." "Chiroru." "Toppo." was heard as each person named a sweet they had seen Murasakibara happily devour. There was a brief pause before Midorima sighed and commented, "Really he is not too discriminating; Murasakibara just likes sweets in general."

"But he does make fancy stuff." Aomine's hesitant clarification was met with agreement. "He made pretty elaborate things for us even if he usually just eats standard sweets."

At Sugimoto's skeptical look, Akashi gave an overview of what Murasakibara had made for each of them. Knowing that Akashi had plenty of exposure to elaborate desserts even if he couldn't make them, the chef took his praising reviews more seriously.

"So our guidelines are purple, fancy, and large in scale. Okay, let me think for a moment…"

Kuroko raised his hand. "Excuse me, what about something like this? But in purple?" He'd raided the chef's cookbook collection and had found something promising in one of them.

The others gathered around him to see and they all thought it seemed like a good idea. Sugimoto pursed his lips thoughtfully as he considered what the boy had found. It would require some adaptation to meet the color requirement but it was just possible they could pull it off in the time allotted, if they were willing to work hard and not give up before they mastered the various techniques involved.

"Very well, we will try it. But having seen today's results, I can assure you this will take quite a bit of practice. I will accept nothing less than your top efforts or you will be on your own. I am used to training the very highest caliber of students so we will be moving quickly; you'll have to keep up or you will fail."

He might not have known it, but those were absolutely the best possible words he could have used to inspire them. They were members of the Generation of Miracles, the Phantom Sixth Man, and the Talented Manager, surely they could rise to such a challenge?

They all deflated a bit at his next words, uttered thoughtfully and with an air of resignation. "We will begin with another review of kitchen safety. Momoi-san, you in particular must pay attention to where the fire extinguisher is; we cannot have a repeat of today's performance."

All of them looked at the smoldering ruins of Momoi's attempt. She had not only burned the cookies she was trying to make, she'd set the oven-mitt on fire and also singed her apron. Maybe Momoi could just supervise…? They'd have to give this some thought. Nobody wanted to get on her bad side, but they were all aware of their own limitations with this endeavor and they didn't necessarily have the time to account for Momoi's peculiarly dangerous culinary efforts as well.

In any case, they listened attentively to Sugimoto-sensei as he outlined their battle plan for the next few weeks. It would be challenging as they still had school and basketball practice; Kise would have to juggle a modelling job as well. And of course, they absolutely couldn't let Murasakibara know what they were doing – it had to be a surprise. As they left the kitchen, they all realized it would be difficult, and they cringed when they remembered Sugimoto's stern reprimand that "there is no crying in pastry, Kise" when the blond had been distraught over his failure to produce edible cupcakes. There might well be cause for tears by the end of it…who knew trying to show affection with confections would be so hard?