A/N: I'm not entirely sure where this came from. Emily's lost Alison before, but I wondered how different her reaction would be if she had to watch Alison drifting away slowly, unable to do anything about it. It was an interesting challenge to write though, and difficult as I hated having Emily in such a position. Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope it's enjoyable.
Emily had saved Alison before. When "A" had come after the blonde, choking her until she hardly clung to consciousness, Emily had been fueled by rage as she attacked the hooded assailant. Outmuscled, Emily had still managed to get in a few good blows, enough for the attacker to flee. Emily had held Alison in her arms and told her it would be okay, and Alison had believed her. Emily promised herself that she'd always be there to protect the beautiful blonde, and she'd spent that night without sleep, watching out for anyone who might try to hurt the girl she loved.
"Please!" Alison had choked out, held up against the brick wall by a baseball bat pressed cruelly against her neck.
The hooded figure said nothing, fishing in their pocket for something when Emily, Spencer, Aria, and Hanna had reached them.
"Get away from her," Emily had snarled, but Alison was frantically shaking her head.
"A" released the pressure on Alison's throat. The blonde heaved heavy breaths and coughed, taking only a step away from the wall when the assailant brought up the bad and hit her hard on the back of the head, knocking her out instantly.
"Alison!" Emily had screamed the girl's name, rushing to her and hardly caring as the attacker fled.
The brunette was on her knees in an instant, by Alison's side and checking for a pulse, breathing, or anything else that indicated the blonde was still alive. When she found nothing, she'd looked up at her friends who were staring in horror, and frantically pleaded that they call 911.
The paramedics had to pry Emily off of Alison, and her friends had embraced her as she got to her shaky feet. Emily couldn't remember the rest of that night, she'd drowned herself in alcohol.
The first day Emily saw Alison was the hardest. She was alive, her heart monitor said so, but Emily couldn't bring herself to believe it. What with the blonde's barren expression and pale skin, Emily might easily have thought the girl she loved to be dead. But she wasn't, something Emily had to tell herself over and over to have any hope of believing it. Thankfully, Aria, Hanna, and Spencer had let Emily come alone. She didn't want them to watch the way Emily desperately buried her face into Ali's unmoving neck as she lay motionless in the hospital bed. She didn't want them to see the way Emily wet the blonde's skin with tears that flowed endlessly.
The second day Emily saw Alison, her friends joined her. They were upset, but not like Emily. They didn't love Alison, not like Emily.
The night after Emily saw Alison, she curled up in bed with a shirt her girlfriend had once left at her house. Ali hadn't worn it in a while, but it still smelled like her. Emily clung onto it for dear life.
The third day Emily saw Alison, she kissed her. Part of Emily expected Alison to reach up, run her hand through Emily's mess of dark hair, to pull her closer into the kiss. But Alison didn't move, and Emily felt her tears return. She didn't try kissing her again.
The fourth day Emily saw Alison, she reminisced. She gazed longingly at the blonde's lips, which were now dry and pale but had once been so soft and inviting. She remembered all at once each kiss she'd shared with the beautiful girl. She'd left when she began to think about the possibility of never being able to kiss her again.
The fifth day Emily saw Alison was hardly different from the sixth, or the seventh, or the eighth. Before Emily knew it, weeks were passing her by and each day she visited Ali. Each day she cried. And not once did Alison get up to comfort her. Not once did she hold Emily close to her and not once did she say everything would be alright.
The thirtieth day Emily visited Alison, she was angry. She yelled at the motionless blonde for having left her alone, for not being there anymore. Emily was escorted out of the room by nurses and told to come back tomorrow instead.
The fortieth day Emily visited Alison, she decided she preferred it when she thought Ali was dead. At least then it was just over, no sense of hope. It was like Spencer had said so many times, hope was just a dirty four-letter word. Emily felt trapped in purgatory, not knowing if Alison would wake up minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years from now. Or maybe not at all.
The fiftieth day Emily visited Alison, Hanna came along with her. They sat in silence for a while until Hanna told Emily of a beautiful girl she knew, who was interested in dating Emily. Being the loyal one, as everyone seemed to define her, Emily resisted. Hanna was persistent, but it wasn't until the fifty-fifth day that Emily relented.
The sixtieth day, Emily didn't see Alison. Mr. and Mrs. Dilaurentis had gone instead, and Emily went on her date. The girl's name was Rebecca, and she was nice. She came to the date wearing a yellow blouse. Emily excused herself to the washroom almost immediately. She cried for twenty minutes, and didn't come out until she was sure Rebecca had gone. Emily didn't try any more dates after that.
The seventieth day, Alison woke up. Emily had buried her face into her neck and the blonde had greeted her groggily. Emily pulled her into a kiss, and just as their lips touched, Emily awoke to a tear-soaked pillow. She wasn't able to bear seeing Alison that day.
On the eightieth day, Jessica Dilaurentis informed Emily that Alison would, more likely than not, never wake up. She'd said many other things as well, specific medical terms and probabilities that went right over Emily's head. She spent the day between numbness and screaming into her pillow.
On the ninetieth day, Jessica Dilaurentis was presented with the option to have Alison permanently remain on life support, or to pull the plug. Jessica had cried, but not nearly as much as Emily.
On the hundredth day, they pulled the plug. Emily had screamed and sobbed, with Spencer and Hanna physically holding her back. They watched in silence as Alison's breaths became fewer and further between, and when she took her last, she broke free from her friend's grips. She'd kissed Alison, told her she loved her, and that she'd see her soon. Emily remembered a time when Alison had confided in her that she was worried she'd go to Hell, but in Emily's eyes, no one was more deserving of Heaven than Alison Dilaurentis.