A/N: Beware! English is not my first language! I just can't think about Arrow in any other language, it just doesn't feel right. So if you feel obligated to beta my work - please contact me! I would love to have a native speaker to correct my terrible mistakes - especially with grammar.

As for my story... it's about 'Olicity' - obviously. I hope I did them justice because for me it's very important to stay in character as much as possible!So I really hope I got them right.

That being said - I hope you'll enjoy this story. I would really appreciate you taking a minute afterwards to leave a short review and let me know what you think. Thank you so much - have fun!

Disclaimer: All publibly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. "The CW" is the author and owner of "Arrow". The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"We need Felicity here."

"Oliver, she's still at dinner with…" Diggle tried to explain but Oliver knew exactly where she was.

"I don't care where she is! We need her here." He growled. He was beyond annoyed by the fact that Felicity went out with Ray Palmer. That this whole mess had technically been his decision annoyed him even more.

"You mean, you need her to be any place where Ray Palmer isn't." Diggle pointed out. He knew him too well. The times when Oliver could easily fool John were long gone.

"It's not the time, Diggle."

"Oliver, you're in the field without your head on straight. I think this is exactly the time."

"I've got it handled."

"Doesn't look that way to me." Again… Diggle looked right through his façade.

"What do you want me to say?" Oliver asked exasperated. "Yes, it bothers me that she is out to dinner with Palmer. Yes, it bothers me that apparently she is just moving on with her life, but I made a decision! She did, too. And… I just... I want her to be happy." He looked almost broken when he said that. It was true, though. Everything he just told Diggle was absolutely the truth.

At least to him it was. It bothered him that she went out with Ray. It bothered him that she seemed to be moving on with her life. And it was true that both of them made their decisions and that Oliver wanted Felicity to be happy.

It was just that those decisions didn't make either of them happy. At all… Oliver decided that he couldn't be with Felicity because he thought he couldn't protect her and she deserved someone better. Felicity decided that she wouldn't sit in the foundry waiting for him forever.

When in reality everything both of them wanted was to be together.

"If that were true... You'd be with her, man." Leave it to Diggle to be the bane of Oliver's existence! Why was he feeling the need to constantly remind him that his decision was stupid?

He didn't have a choice. He couldn't protect Felicity. It was too dangerous. When she was being held captive by The Count he could barely breathe until he buried three arrows in the guy's chest. When she was in the hands of the Puppetmaster he couldn't even think straight. All he could think about was how he wouldn't survive it if anything happened to her. Ever. How he couldn't let anything like that ever happen again.

So he had to keep a distance between them. The people closest to him got hurt the most. That's like it always has been.

"Oliver?!" He didn't even notice he had been lost in his thoughts until Diggle called his name. "You know I'm right… you know how she feels and you know she's in danger anyways…"

Oliver shot him a look that didn't leave much to imagination.

"I know you don't want to hear that, but that's how it is… our work down here is dangerous. As hard as you try, you can't change that fact – it is! She's known that ever since she joined us over a year ago. And she's still here. She knows what she's in for, we all do. You have to start accepting that the danger won't go away just because you refuse to be with her. It's here anyways. Now it's your decision to face this thread together with the woman you love or to lurk around in the shadows alone, always watching over her from afar. Watching her move on, watching her fall in love again, start a family. I know you want all of this for her, but I have a feeling the only one SHE wants it with, are you."

Oliver looked down to his feet and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Maybe Diggle was right. But maybe it was just his fatherly joy speaking for him. It wasn't that easy for everyone. He couldn't just declare his undying love to Felicity and ride off into the sunset with her.

Oliver tried to picture what Diggle just described.

He saw himself hiding around the corner of a building. It was dark outside. On the other side of the street he saw a two story building. A small town house. It was white and the window frames on the outside were painted in a bright blue. Through what had to be the living room window he could see Felicity. She looked a few years older but just as beautiful as ever. She sat on a huge couch and was reading something. Next to her sat a little girl with curly black hair and glasses just like Felicity's.

All of a sudden Ray Palmer entered the room and walked towards her. He stood behind her, squeezing her shoulders lightly and bending down to press a kiss on the top of her head. She just smiled, grabbed one of his wrists and pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand. He walked around the couch and sat down on the other side of the girl who climbed on his lap immediately. They looked happy.

Oliver didn't realize his whole body was trembling. He couldn't stand this. He couldn't stand losing her and watching over her from the other side of the street. Not if he was the one that drove her away in the first place.

It was supposed to be him! Not Palmer! He should kiss her, hug her, love and cherish her. It should be his child she was reading bedtime stories to. He had to try and fix this. If she didn't want him in her life anymore he would accept that. But he would not go down without a fight! He never did.

Without another word he ran out of the foundry.

He was sure the elevator ride to Felicity's office took longer than it ever had before. It used to be his office before Palmer bought "Queen Consolidated" and he knew the way there like the back of his hand. The 32 seconds to the 10th floor felt more like 32 minutes. Oliver had never been more nervous in his entire life. His hands were sweating, his heart was beating twice its normal speed. He tried to urge the digits on the display to go up. Finally he heard the "bing"-sound that announced he had reached his destination. The doors opened painfully slow and he squeezed himself through when they weren't even halfway open.

Oliver crossed the 35 feet distance to the corner of the hallway from where he could see into her office with rapid strides. When he finally caught sight of her desk he froze in place. His head was spinning and he felt like one of Slade's mirakuro soldiers punched him in his stomach. He felt dizzy and a huge lump formed in his throat, making it almost impossible to swallow or breathe.

Felicity was kissing Ray Palmer.

Oliver couldn't move. He couldn't think. All he could do was stand there and watch the excruciating scene playing in front of him. This was his fault. He drove her away, he told her he couldn't be with her. Now she was moving on. She'd told him she wouldn't wait forever. This was good. Right?

NO! He couldn't fool himself like that. This wasn't good. This was far from good. It was everything BUT good.

Just when he decided to try and move his muscles again to run back to the elevator and get the hell out of here, Palmer broke the kiss, looked at her for another second and started to run out of the office. His head was bent down and when he looked up after a few steps he also froze in place. The two men just stared at one another.

"Ray?!" Felicity asked from behind him. After they kissed, Ray started to run out of her office but stopped after a few feet. Now he just stood there for about five seconds and Felicity waited for him to turn around again, say something, anything… he couldn't just kiss her and run away afterwards. Ray was way taller than her and the door to her office was completely blocked by his silhouette.

"Ray, would you please talk to me? You can not kiss me and…" she started when Ray turned his head, shot her an apologetic look and disappeared into the hallway and around the corner. Felicity was lost in her thoughts when she looked after him. Suddenly, she saw something in the corner of her eye…

"Oliver?!" she whispered when she saw him. He hadn't moved a muscle. He couldn't. As much as he wanted to right now, he wasn't able to leave. Every fiber of his body was trembling and he was breathing fast.

Felicity walked over to him, she was nervous as well. Why did he come here? Was something wrong? Had someone been hurt tonight because she couldn't be there?

"What are you doing here? Did something happen?"

"You mean besides you kissing Palmer?" his voice was so low it came out as nothing more than a growl. It was almost threatening, but not to Felicity. She's never been afraid of him. Besides, it was none of his business who she was kissing.

"Well, he kissed me actually but I guess that's not really the point because I let it happen and kissed him back and…" Felicity saw Oliver clench his fists and tense his muscles and reminded herself to stop talking about kissing Ray. "…this is so not helping, I'm sorry. But it's actually none of your business if I may remind you."

Oliver's body was still trembling and every muscle was tensed. But he tried to put on his mask, which he normally didn't around Felicity, and remain as calm as possible. "I know." He said and smiled one of his fake shallow smiles. Felicity would recognize them blindfolded. She read him like an open book. "I'm sorry. Nothing happened, I just wanted to check on you and tell you, that Cutler wants to meet me tomorrow night. Do you think you can make it to the foundry tomorrow?"

"Oliver, don't do this... not with me. Don't start pretending everything is fine when it clearly isn't. I'm sorry if I upset you by taking the night off but I needed some time for myself to be able to think clear again. Besides, I had to go to this business dinner with Ray. You know, for the job I get actually paid for." She tried to reason. "And we could always be honest with each other so please – don't lie to me." She said and touched his left hand to try and calm him down and break down his walls again.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes. He had to do it. If he didn't do it now, he never would and it would drive him crazy till the end of his days. But it was hard. It was harder than everything he had ever done in his life. Of all the things he did, of everything he experienced and everything he had to endure during his time on Lian Yu, in Hong Kong… this was the hardest.

When he opened his eyes again, the anger was gone. The trembling had stopped and he started to relax slowly.

"You always see right through me…" he said with the soft voice he only used when he talked to her. A small smile flew across his face. An honest smile this time. Shy and small, but honest.

"When I returned to Starling City – the first time – I didn't know how to be in any kind of relationship with other people anymore. I was full of rage, full of vengeance. I wanted to right my father's wrongs and I didn't care who I had to hurt or who I had to kill in the process."

"Oliver, what are you talking about?" Felicity asked, searching his face for signs of what was going on in his mind.

"Please, Felicity… I know it's hard for you to not talk for about five minutes, but please – let me finish."

They just looked at each other and when Felicity just nodded and squeezed his hand slightly, he continued.

"Then I met you. And only a few weeks after I walked into the IT-department and asked you for your help I knew I could trust you enough to reveal my secret identity to you. Since then – everything changed. My conscience started to kick in again and I stopped being a merciless killer. I found another way. You helped me find another way. Your light guided me away from my darkness." He stopped talking and smiled at her again.

"I know how you feel about me…" he said after a few more seconds of silence. The whole atmosphere between them had changed by now. The air was thick and in both of their stares laid so many emotions, so many untold things, so many wishful thoughts.

"It's complicated for me. To be in a relationship…" he swallowed and looked to the ground for two seconds. "You know that the only real relationships I ever had were with Laurel and Sara."

"Yes, I know…" Felicity said to reassure him to go on with his speech. She didn't know where this was going but she was glad they finally talked about the situation between them at all.

"With Laurel it was shallow… I was shallow. I was this playboy who was drinking too much, partying too much and fooling around with every girl that crossed my way. I didn't care if I hurt Laurel. Maybe I loved her, but I was too immature and not ready for commitment. We made plans to move in together, but I never intended to actually pursue those plans. I betrayed her countless times and I didn't think about the consequences. I didn't care." Oliver paused again to collect his thoughts. This was really hard!

"When Sara came back to Starling City and we started dating again... we were the same, you know. I knew she could protect herself better than I ever could. I didn't have to worry about her when she was out in the field. But it was never really about emotions for us. That was what made it so easy. Both of us were afraid to let people in who would end up hurt – or worse – because of their involvement with either one of us. We comforted each other in our loneliness."

Felicity had tears in her eyes by now. Hearing those stories hurt her. But not because she couldn't stand the idea of Oliver with other women – she had seen this way too often to be offended by it anymore. It hurt her that Oliver always drove everyone away to keep them safe. That he denied himself happiness for so long.

"But with you…" she was momentarily lost in her thoughts but snapped to attention when he started talking again. "With you it's not shallow. Not at all. I would never hurt you but I'm just so afraid that I can't protect you. Even if I manage to protect you from others, I may not be able to protect you from myself. Even if I can keep you safe from dangers outside the foundry, maybe I will destroy you some day… you are so fragile…" he looked at her, looked her in the eye. He saw hurt and sadness but what was more prominent than every other emotion was understanding. She always understood him, understood his troubles and his fears. And she helped him get through all of it. She wasn't afraid to tell him if he was wrong and she never lied to him or hid something from him. He admired that…

"But at the same time, you are the toughest, bravest person I know." Felicity let out a huff but the sincerity in Oliver's eyes told her he really meant it. "You always stand up against me and you aren't afraid to go out in the field, even if it kills me when you do." He shot her a crooked smile.

"Oliver… can I please say something now?" Felicity cut in.

"If I only knew how to stop you…" he teased with a small grin.

"You have to stop thinking that you don't deserve any sort of happiness." She told him, grabbing his other hand and stroking the back of his hands with her thumbs. "You didn't choose to go down with the Gambit. You didn't choose to live on Lian Yu for years and you didn't choose anything that's happened to you on that island or in Hong Kong. You did what you had to do to survive."

"No, I had a choice… I always had a choice." Oliver interrupted her.

"Maybe, but this choice was to do what had to be done or to die. So you choose to live and for that, you had to do things that really got under your skin. Unimaginable things. And I would be worried if that wouldn't have had any sort of impact on you, if it hadn't changed you. But those things – they didn't make you a bad person. They made you a better person, you have to start seeing that."

"It only shows how much you still care – how much you always cared. You think being the Arrow took away all of Oliver Queen that was left inside of you but that's not true. If you wouldn't care when you are the Arrow, you'd still kill everyone who stands in your way. I know you, Oliver. I know all of you. I know Oliver Queen and I know the Arrow. And both of them care for the people around them."

"But being around me is dangerous… Everyone close to me is a target for my enemies." Oliver interrupted her.

"And we all know that. Everyone on the team knows the deal. We all know that it's dangerous and that one day, it could eventually kill us. But it's our choice to help you. You didn't force me to stay on the team after we helped Walter. I chose to continue working with you because I believe in you. In your mission to keep Starling City safe. It's my choice to still stand by your side and be your girl Friday." She smiled at him. "And if you would give this a chance…" she was waving her hand back and forth between them, "it wouldn't be more or less dangerous for me than it already is."

Oliver looked her in the eye. He knew she meant what she said. She knew the dangers of her late night activities with "Team Arrow". And he knew he couldn't possibly love her any more.

"I know…" he simply stated and Felicity's eyes widened in shock.

"What?"

"I know that it doesn't make much of a difference. It's already dangerous for all of you. And I know…" he took a deep breath. It was now or never. This was the point of no return. If he told her, he wouldn't be able to go back… to take it back. It would change everything. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again he continued. "And I know that I love you."

Felicity started to cry as soon as he said the words. She didn't break down or started to sob but she cried a few silent tears before she smiled up at him. "And you won't change your mind if – god forbid – there'll be an explosion in five minutes and you realize that I could get killed when I'm with you?"

"As much as the thought of you getting hurt pains me – no, I won't change my mind. Diggle talked some sense into me and I realized I can't watch you being happy with another man…"

"I really love John…" Felicity blurted out, earning an amused look from Oliver.

"You know what I mean! And I could never be happy with anyone but you!" she told him while putting her arms around his neck. At the same time, his hands slid around her waist, pulling her towards him.

Oliver leaned down looking Felicity deep in her beautiful eyes. He rested his forehead against hers and after what felt like hours, their lips finally met. Both of them poured everything into that kiss… every emotion, everything they meant to each other. The kiss didn't last very long but it was everything they ever wanted from life.

"I'm scared…" Oliver told her honestly.

"I know. But you don't have to. We'll figure this out together and we'll face everything that stands in our way. As a couple. We'll be stronger than before because we join our forces and fight together!"

"Join our forces?" Oliver laughed.

"Yup!" she pressed another kiss to his lips, lingering there for a few seconds longer. "Don't be scared, I'll save you!" she smiled at him.

"You always do…" Oliver answered before taking her hand and leading her to the elevator.

Soooo... that was it...! I hope y'all enjoyed it and my english doesn't suck too bad... I would love if you'd take a few seconds to tell me what you think about the story and leave me a review!

Thank you so much! Olicity for ever! ;-)

A/N: I just wanted to wish everyone a merry christmas! I hope you'll get to spend some time with your loved ones, take a breath, enjoy yourself and enjoy life!

Happy holidays and merry christmas!