1. Attach an Explosive to his Back:

Severus walked along the corridor, a small, self-adhesive explosive clutched tightly in his hand. He had already peeled the backing of the explosive off and was ready to place it on James's back.

As he walked, he heard an arrogant, annoying voice. James.

He grinned in anticipation.

"...think I'm really making progress! I'll ask her out after lunch."

Quickly, he cast a cloaking charm on himself and waited for James to turn the corner. As he and his merry band of idiots passed, Severus quickly stuck the explosive on James's back. Suddenly, James stopped. "Hey, I think I felt something on my back. Is there something on it?"

Severus freezes, praying that they don't notice his bomb.

Sirius peers at his friend's back. "Hmm, I don't see anything. Maybe it was a bug or something?"

"That would've been a mighty big bug," said Remus.

"Oh well, let's just go to lunch. I'm starving," says Peter.

Severus sighs, relieved. They hadn't noticed it.

"You're always hungry," Remus informs him.

"Yeah, well, I'm a growing boy..."

"You stopped growing ages ago."

The sound of their bickering slowly disappears as the boys walk away.

Part one of Severus's plan had gone according to plan. Now all head to do was set the bomb off. Then he'd be James-free forever. And then he could get closer to Lily...

But, he mused, it was strange that no one had noticed the explosive he'd placed on James's back. The bomb had been quite shiny and noticeable, after all. Oh well, maybe the Marauders had terrible vision. Anyway, it was about time to detonate his bomb. Severus grins and heads down to the Great Hall in an unusually good mood.

There, surrounded by the usual gaggle of girls, was James Potter. Laughing and talking, unaware of the danger behind him. Not for the first time that day, Severus shows off his incredibly creepy smile as he takes out the bomb's remote.

"Good-bye, James Potter," he whispers as he presses the detonate button.

BOOM.

"Aieeeeeeeee!" Screams one surprised and confused Severus Snape.

He stares, unmoving at the blood gushing out of the remainder of his left hand. How...?

Then...oh. He'd peeled the backing off of the explosive. And had been clutching it tightly...so the sticky backing of the explosive had been stuck to his now blown-off fingers. This was about when he started to feel the pain coming out of his left hand.

Last time I trust Muggle inventions... Severus thought.

Then he passed out.

How does Snape have Muggle inventions? He has connections, of course. Not really my best work. Oh well. I can't promise that I'll update this very often, though. I'm very busy procrastinating.

~Freaking Epic