Title: Misery Loves Company
Summary: Laugh. Cry. Be embarrassed as Katie Bell and her friends make their way through O.W.L. year with detentions, boyfriends, Quidditch and drunken nights out.
Category: Humour/Romance/General
Rating: T – swearing and occasional references (you know the kind)
A/N: Okay, this is just a light hearted story about Katie and her friends. It's going to be full of randomness. All told from Katie's point of view. This story is not meant to be taken seriously, It's not going to turn into some knock down, all out war where Katie falls pregnant and then leaves for China in a miserable exile only to return nine years later and discover that so and so is actually not the father of her baby.
If you were hoping for a story like that, you will be severely disappointed (but feel free to read this anyway). And if you don't think this story is funny, and that it's stupid and ridiculously hideous- well, good for you. Please don't flame me, but constructive criticism is apprec- I mean, allowed. There might be some events from the third book, but forgive me if it doesn't follow the exact dialogue as I do not own the Harry Potter books (seriously, I don't own a copy. I just borrow them from the library) and so I can't remember all of it.
Who actually reads the author notes anyway? If you do, review and tell me :P. I always do; you never know when the author actually has something important to say (which most likely isn't the case here). I promise this will be the longest author note in the ENTIRE story. Just to make that clear. Now, I won't keep you any longer (the notes are almost longer than the chapter itself!) Here is chapter one of Misery Loves Company:
October 5th
"Quick! He's not looking!" I hiss at Fred and George when I peer around the corner. Fred and George salute then drop to the ground and begin belly crawling along the castle floor.
Why were the Weasley twins attempting to sneak around a corner, army style? Oliver Dugald Wood, captain of Gryffindor Quidditch team and an all round pain in the arse, is standing there and talking to Percy Ignitius Weasley, my least favourite person of all time- after Oliver, that is.
Just as I try to copy the twins, a voice behind me asks, "What are you doing, Bell?" in a bored, dreary monotone. You know how in movies actors turn around really slowly when they know their time is up and they have to face their worst enemy? Yeah, that's how I turn around to face Snape, except I stop halfway through so I am looking at the bottom of the wall instead.
"Uh… practicing for an audition in the army?" I ask, trying to get myself out of trouble. If anybody asks, I have the worst talking skills ever. I usually only manage to dig a deeper hole for myself. I wish George would speak up, he's an excellent charmer. I'm not sure if it works on Snape though, but you never know, he might be bi.
"Get up, Bell," he snaps in an I-can-actually-see-past-my-extrodanirily-large-nose-and-I-know-what-you're-trying-to-do voice. His normal voice.
I stand up slowly; desperately hoping my oversized brain will come up with some good excuse like "I was looking for my toothbrush!" I blurt out, and then clap a hand over my mouth. Whoops. I have this problem where I talk before I think. I reckon it's an actual medical condition, but Lee keeps insisting it's not, and that I'm just stupid. Well damn him. Look where my disease has gotten me now, you git!
Snape looks almost… amused? I must've caught him on a good day. The twin's jaws are going to drop when they hear that even Snape has good days… he must be human after all, not a kelpie in disguise as our worst nightmare, like they kept telling us he was last night. Alicia actually believed them.
"Well, Miss Bell, you can look for your toothbrush in my dungeon tonight," he drawls, waiting for my reaction.
I'm confused. Why would I have a reaction? It's not like this isn't a regular occurrence… "But it's practice!" I say indignantly. When he shows no sign of relenting when he's yelled at, I try a different approach. "Please, sir," I say sweetly, ignoring the cough-turned-choke coming from behind me. "We have practice tonight. And, you know, we really need it, because we haven't won in years…" the choking has turned into offended snorts.
"No. See you at eight, Miss Bell. You know where they are." And with that, the bloody vampire walks away with a swish of his stupid cape. I hope he trips on it, the stupid prick. I relish the thought of Snape tripping on his cape and choking himself, until a tall figure stands right in front of me.
"Bell!" What is with everyone calling me by my last name? Is there some sign of my forehead that states, 'Thou must call this person Bell'? I don't think so.
"Yes Ollie?" I ask sweet-as-sugar. It pisses him off no end, when we call him that. That's why we do it. My whole purpose for being on the team is to piss him off, it's so fun to think of revenge when you're doing fifty laps around the Quidditch pitch in pouring rain and hail.
Oliver's trying to keep his temper in; I can tell by the way that his face is getting all red and they way he's clenching his fists and how he keeps taking long, shuddering breaths. Hehe. "What did you go and do that for?"
"Do what?" Now that I think of it, I wasn't actually doing anything. For all he knows, I could have been looking for my toothbrush. On the third floor corridor. Crawling on my stomach.
"Get detention, Bell! What were you thinking!"
I was thinking that if Fred and George could do it, so could I. "Uh, that I wanted to brush my teeth?"
Oliver rolls his eyes. "Get out of my sight, Bell!"
I smirk, only too happy to obey. Now, to find those Weasleys…
I am sitting in the Gryffindor common room, trying to figure out the whole mumbo-jumbo that is this week's Divination homework. I love Divination; it's my favourite subject, seriously… Actually, I think it's the worst subject that Hogwarts has to offer and I'm not sure why Dumbledore insists that it be an option. I hate it along with every other soul in this entire school, except for some girl in third year that loves it. I can't remember her name, something like Chrysanthemum, or Ginger, or Eucalyptus… It's a flower or herb, I dunno.
"Ah, peering into the future," someone comments over my shoulder, jabbing a finger at the parchment. For a moment I think it's Alicia; she has a habit of doing that. But then I realise the sarcastic voice is Lee's, the only person in our year that can match the high sarcastic standards I have set.
"Yeah," I reply, dropping my quill and giving him a puppy-dog-you-know-you-can't-say-no look. He is the best at coming up with shit like, 'tomorrow I will go for a walk and fall down a giant crater that an asteroid from mars created. Then I will attempt to get out only to be zapped up by aliens who will mutilate me until I am unrecognisable and devour me as a midnight snack.' Seriously, I wrote that once… and a got a 'E' for it. I am brilliant.
He sighs loudly, flopping onto the couch next to me and giving me a mock-disappointed look. "Now, Bell. Do I really have to say this again? I will not do you homework for you, or make up cruel, morbid stories about how you are going to slip on a banana and fall into a swimming pool, only to have some inconsiderate person hit a bludger into it and it will hit you in the head. Then just as you are about to die, Fudge dive bombs I and lands on top of you, so you die anyway." He sits back and pretends to polish his nails, looking mightily pleased with himself.
I grin at him. "Wow, thanks Lee! You're the best!" I give him a hug and quickly write all that he just said down. My essay 'Reading your life lines' is going to be the best. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I got an 'O'.
When I notice that Lee's not doing anything, just staring into the fire on the other side of the room and the kids who are playing Wizard Chess next to it are looking at him all weird, I give him a shake. "Earth to Lee," I say, waving a hand in front of his face.
He jumps out of his 'reverie'. God, I love that word, it sounds so… sophisticated. "Sorry, Bell, what were you saying?" he asks apologetically.
"What? Some girl on your mind?" I tease him. Lee is almost as much fun as Oliver to tease, except Lee doesn't take it seriously and he's a lot more fun to be around. And he teases back, it's almost like a tradition, just the way that Fred and Ange flirt with each other, and George and Alicia are so in tune with each other… hey! It's almost like our little group's paired off. Except for the fact that everyone is yet to get together.
Oh my god. Does that mean I think that I am somehow subconsciously hoping that Lee and I will get together, just as Angelina and Fred and George and Alicia are destined to be? Not that it would be a bad thing, but I've never really thought about it before…
"Bell? Hello? Anybody home?" Now Lee is the one who's waving his hand in front of my face.
I push it away laughingly. "What?"
Lee rolls his eyes. Now that I'm looking at him, he definitely looks uncomfortable, and he's slightly red in the face. "Do you need to go to the toilet?" I ask him bluntly.
Lee looks surprised. "No," he answers.
"Then what? You're all red, and you look like you're busting or something." Way to go Katie, just tell the guy he looks like he's constipated; that'll boost his ego.
This time, Lee definitely blushes. "Actually, Katie, Iwaswonderingifyou'dliketogotoHogsmeadewithme," he mumbles REALLY fast.
I blink. "What?" I ask unintelligently.
Lee takes a deep breath and looks like he's deciding whether or not to strangle me. Thankfully, he chooses the latter. "I said, 'I-was-wondering-if-you'd-like-to-go-to-Hogsmeade-with-me.'"
I stare at him. Wow. I actually understood that, I can't tell which one I'm more impressed by: the fact that I understand him or the fact that Lee Jordan, Quidditch commentator and all around practical joker, who is one of the most popular guys in our entire year, is asking ME to go to Hogsmeade with him. Was this some sort of test that Fred and George put him up to? Because if it was, I swear I'm going to-
"Never mind," Lee mutters, standing up and practically running up the stairs before I can say 'yes'.
Great. One of my best friends asks me out and runs off before I can say yes, so our entire friendship is probably ruined. I have a detention with Snape and no one's going to be joining me. Not even Alicia or Angie, who sometimes have detention, and not even Fred and George who more than sometimes have detention. What a lousy failure this day turned out to be.
Reveiw!