Disclaimer:: Don't own the WWE characters in this story. They all own themselves, unfortunately.
Rating:: PG
Characters:: Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, ...?
A Little Too Late
He was my best friend. He was the greatest person I've ever met. He was my rock; the person who was there for me when no one else was. When there was no one to lift me up from a slump of depression, he was there. He cared more than I thought anyone ever could. I didn't think I deserved attention from anyone, let alone a man. But he proved to me that everyone deserved someone to love them, even if it was only friendship. But, that had become my problem. He was my best friend. Emphasis on the word friend. That was all he ever saw me as. Unfortunately, my feelings had changed midway into our relationship. Something happened. One day I went from seeing him as my dorky best friend to an amazingly kind and sweet man that meant more to me than any other person ever had.
Sometimes I would get so close to telling him. I just wanted to spit out those three words. "I love you." I tried so hard, so many times, but nothing ever came out. I was just petrified of ruining the friendship. Especially if he didn't feel the same way.
Sighing, I look at the sky, watching as the sun sets before me. The breeze that hits me from the ocean sends a shiver down my back, causing me to pull my blanket over my shoulders. On normal nights, he'd be there to wrap his arm around me and warm me up, but tonight wasn't any normal night. Tonight was my first night alone. Completely and utterly alone. I'd have to get used to it, because I'd have to deal with many more nights just like this one. From now on, I was on my own. No one to love or care about me. No one to hold me when I cried. No one to tell me how beautiful I was. No one to eat Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream with me. It was me and only me.
I wipe away a few tears that had started to roll down my face as I pull my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on them. My long blonde hair swayed back and forth in the wind, as if it had a mind of it's own. Though it was hitting my in the face as it moved, I paid no mind to it, just letting it flow free as it wished. It wasn't even bothering me, since I couldn't feel anything anyway. My whole body had felt numb since I'd heard the news. The news that had shattered my heart into a million tiny pieces. The memory was so fresh in my mind. I could remember every single word that had been spoken, and every single tear I'd cried. I had cried until my head was pounding so much that I couldn't think. Then I had driven out here to the beach, his favorite spot. We had always come here together, just to talk and watch the sunset. All of our greatest moments had occured here. And now I was here all alone. He'd never be here with me again.
God, how I missed him. If only I could make him come back for a few more moments. I would tell him how much he meant to me. How he was the one who made me want to wake up in the morning, and how I liked going to sleep because I knew he'd be in my dreams. I suppose he could still be in my dreams, but it would never be the same. Him being in my dreams could never match him being here on Earth with me. Dreams could never beat reality. And without him, reality sucked.
Taking a deep breath, I rub at my eyes. I was tired, but there was no way I could sleep. As I tired as I was, I couldn't go to sleep. He would haunt me, I knew it. Though I was sure he wouldn't mean it, he would always be there. In my dreams, in my nightmares, while I worked, while I did anything. He would be right there, watching me. He'd be with me, but I wouldn't be able to see or talk to him. The thought nearly killed me. How was I supposed to live without him? He had been my reason for doing anything. He had been the reason I'd started doing more wrestling training, he was the reason I'd broken up with Test, he had been the reason I'd wanted to live. He made me want to be more. He was the most encouraging person I'd ever met. He was nicer to anyone than I had ever seen. He was perfect. Especially in my eyes.
I couldn't believe he couldn't see how madly in love with him I was. Sometimes I just wanted to scream it at him. Just blurt it all out. Tell him I was in love with him, and then kiss him. I had longed to kiss him, even if it was just once. I never got my chance, and now I never would.
"I miss you," I whispered softly to the air. I knew he could hear me, though he couldn't respond. As I let out a shaky breath, I thought back to earlier in the day, when I had gotten the most horrible news I had ever heard in my life.
::::
"Stacy, Stacy, pick up your phone!"
Groaning, I reached over and grabbed my phone off the hook. Without looking, I turned it off and buried my head back in the pillow.
Just seconds later, the phone started ringing again. I let it ring five times before I finally gave in and answered it.
"What the hell do you want?" I questioned, obviously angry.
"Stacy, I... I have to tell you something," The shaky voice I recognized as Trish's announced. I could tell she had been crying and that instantly worried me. Sitting upright in my bed, I prepared myself for the worst.
"Trish, what's wrong?"
"Stace, he uhm... there was an accident. A car accdient," Trish replied, as she broke down into tears again, mumbling words I couldn't understand.
I ignored the tears welling in my eyes as I spoke again. "Trish... Trish, listen to me. Who got into a car accident?"
"He, he was driving to the arena, and it was slippery out from the rain. The car slid and it flipped over. He... he died, Stacy!"
I gasped, unable to respond. The feeling in the pit of my stomach told me who Trish was talking about, but it couldn't be true. It wasn't true. It was someone else. "Trish. Trish, I need you to tell me who got into an accident," I ordered, being as stern as possible.
"Stacy, I can't... I can't say it," She told me as she had another breakdown.
A few stray tears ran down my cheeks as I dropped the phone, grabbing my keys. I had to find out exactly what was going on.
::::
Unfortunately, I didn't have to leave my apartment. I had gotten a call from his brother a few moments later, and he had told me exactly what had happened. I refused to believe it for the first couple hours, but when he never showed up for the dinner we'd scheduled, I had to face facts. My best friend, the love of my life had died in a car accident on the day I'd planned to confess my love for him.
I had had the whole dinner set up for us. I was making his favorite foods, and I had a few of his favorite songs set up, and I had planned out everything. I even knew what I wanted to say. It was going to be a long, sweet speech about how much he meant to me, and how much I treasured our friendship. Once I found out, I ripped the paper I'd written it on up, and burned it in my fireplace. Unfortunately, I'd memorized every word on the page. I repeated them over in my head as tears one by one made their way down my cheeks. Every word was like a knife stabbing me in the heart and being pushed deeper and deeper. I was slowly but surely killing myself, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Sighing, I slowly started to recite my speech aloud:
"I want you to know, you're my best friend. For the past two years, you've been the greatest man in the world to me. You helped me through my bad breakup with Andrew, you helped me through my little depression problem, you helped me when I wanted to start training, you've helped me with everything. If I needed a shoulder to cry on, you were there with a shoulder and some tissues. If I need to go out and have a good time, you took me to a club and danced with me and only me. If I just wanted to hang out, you brought food and movies to my hotel room, and you didn't even pick on me for pigging out on pizza and chips..."
I was officially crying now, tears streaming down my cheeks one after the other. I was hurting myself, but I needed to get it out. I knew he could hear me, and I was determined for him to once and for all know that he was my reason for being.
"... You... you've been with me through good and bad; during weak times and strong. You've made me a better person, inside and out, and you've never turned me away. You laughed with me, cried with me, held me, tickled me, stroked my hair, hugged me tight, and you were always there for me. You always put me first, never thinking about yourself. You always made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, even if I doubted it myself. You always made sure to hug me every day and make sure I was okay. You complimented me more times in five minutes than I had been complimented in my entire life. You made me feel like a queen, you made me feel like I was in heaven. And I was. When I was with you, I was in heaven. Nothing compared to our times together. I don't know how I lived over twenty years of my life without you. Since we've been friends, you've been my reason for living, breathing, waking up in the morning, and just being me. If there was no you, there would be no me. If you weren't in my life, I would be miserable, most likely still with Andrew, being used and abused. You saved me from the most horrible situation in my life, and you did it just because you cared. You had no ulterior motives at all. You loved me for me. You loved the real and true Stacy Keibler, flaws and all. And I loved you too. I do love you. I've never had the courage to tell you until now, but you are my everything. Every tear you've ever brushed off my face, every hug you've ever given me, every piece of hair you've tucked behind me tears, everything you do... I... I love you."
Breaking down, I cried aloud, not caring how loud I was. Why did God have to do this to me? Why did he have to take away the one person who ever truely cared about me in this world? What did I do to deserve this? Maybe it was all because I didn't tell him how I really felt. God felt like I was taking him for granted, and he knew that he didn't deserve it. It was all my fault he was gone. If I hadn't been so worried about myself, I could've saved him. Damn me for being such a chicken.
"I'm sorry, God!" I yelled at the sky. "I'm so sorry."
As I slowly rocked myself back and forth, I continued to mumble, "I'm sorry" into my knees.
"God, I'm so sorry I didn't appreciate him, but couldn't you just give him back? I promise I'll act better. I'll do everything I'm supposed to. I'll treat him like the perfect man he is. Just please, please, give him back?"
The silence of the now black night sky gave away my answer. I had lost my chance with him. He was gone for good and I was to blame. "I'm sorry," I whispered again as I rose to my feet, pulling my sandals, purse, and blanket up with me. As I started to walk, I heard faint ringing from my purse. Reaching inside, I pulled out my cell phone and looked at the caller ID. Trish was calling me. Most likely to make sure I was okay. Well, I wasn't okay. Maybe someday I would be, but not right now. Putting the phone back in my purse, I decided that I would call Trish back tomorrow, when I was more up for talking. I just wanted to go home and sleep now. Maybe he would come in my dreams, and maybe he wouldn't, but either way I knew he was there for good. He loved me, and I loved him, and even if we couldn't be together in reality, one day, we'd be together again.
As I reached my car, I look one last look at the sky and muttered the words, "I love you, Jason Reso," Before climbing inside and leaving one last time.