By now I'm pretty sure no one needs a prologue…?
Empty Brooke and Invader Zim 3
Grande
Chapter 1
Between the Irkens and Planet Jackers
The blank sheet of paper was put on the table. It had nothing on it, no words, no doodles, nothing. Two sets of eyes, one brown, one red, stared down at it, looking it over like an enemy on the battlefield. A single hand, pale, with 5 fingers, reached out beside the paper, took a pen and passed it to a gloved hand with only 3 fingers.
There was a sigh of distress and then a solemn grunting as the one now holding the pen shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He looked down at the paper and then back at the girl sitting next to him. She rubbed her temple.
"Okay Zim… If 2x+3y-810… then what are the values of x and y?"
Zim didn't say anything. He looked down at the equation that Brooke had set out for him. The green-skinned boy tapped the table with his pen over and over again, sometimes biting or chewing on the end of it.
Suddenly his face lit up. Zim smashed the pen down onto the paper and began to write, tearing it slightly because he was pressing so hard. Once he'd finished he picked the paper up, looked at it, turned it to the left, then the right, looked at his again and then passed it to Brooke.
She lightly took it and looked it over. Zim waited in anticipation.
The girl took a red pen and wrote something on the paper. Then see passed it back to Zim.
He looked at it.
"F! Fantastic!"
"No, Zim," Brooke corrected. "F means failure. It means fucking retarded. It means anything bad and nothing good. You've failed yet ANOTHER algebra question."
"It's not my fault!" screamed Zim. "You and your stupid dimension hopping! This dimension doesn't have this thing called 'algebra'. This is totally useless here!" Zim tore the piece of paper in two, put them together and tore again. He did that 7 times and then he threw the paper bits into the air like confetti. "This knowledge is ridiculous and completely stupid! It has nothing to do with conquering Earth!"
"You want to conquer my dimension too, right?" asked Brooke. She leaned in, smirking.
"Uh… Yes."
"That's why you need algebra. My dimension has it. Teenagers have to use it a lot. You'd be the equivalent of a teenager. Learn it!" She picked up one of the pieces of paper that had landed on her shirt. Brooke read it. It said 2x. Then she turned back to Zim. "And by the way x3 and y4. In order to solve the equation you have to move the eight over and change it from negative eight to positive eight so that it is added to the ten, thus becoming 18. After that everything else is pretty simple. 2 multiplied by 3, which is what x is, becomes 6 while 3 multiplied by 4, which is what y is, is 12. Then you add 6 to 12 and you get 18. That's how I solve equations. Simple right?"
Zim's head was spinning.
"What's the matter Zim?" came a rather snarky voice from directly in front of them. Both of their heads turned to a boy in a blue shirt and black jacket, he had black hair that was done up like a scythe. He had glasses on as well as blue pants and was leaning on the table. He smiled at Zim like an enemy, which, to Zim, he technically was. "Is Brooke's dimension's technology and mathematics too much for your 'superior' mind to comprehend?" He leaned back and laughed long and hard.
Brooke slid a piece of paper across to Dib. He looked down at it confused.
"What's this?"
"A test."
"What's it for?"
"It's for you to solve." She slid a second over to Zim. "You have 10 minutes." Brooke pulled out a watch from under her long black sleeves and looked at it. "Begin… NOW!"
Zim and Dib exchanged glances and then started the tests.
They both groaned, not knowing anything on it at all.
Brooke quietly waited. She leaned back, supporting herself by pulling her legs up and pressing them against the underside of the table. Doing that she could have her head go all the way back and touch the ground before she pulled herself back up again. She leaned all the way back and touched the ground with her brown hair. The long bangs flopped onto the floor and she sighed.
"Hey guys?"
"Mmmm?" they both replied, not taking their eyes off of the papers, determined to beat the other.
"Do you think that it would be a good idea to cut my hair?"
"Mmmm…"
Brooke frowned.
They weren't listening anymore.
-----------------
Skool was over and as the bell rang a crowd of teenage children flooded from the doors and ran out into the street. Some cars stopped, others hit the kids, and some were already stopped and yelled as the kids jumped on top of and over the hood or roof. Regardless, there wasn't really much that they could do to stop the rampage. It was inevitable, just as the apocalypse was at one point in life. That or death.
Zim exited he skool, hands on his hips, and breathed in the air. He coughed and hacked a moment and then pouted, his seemingly pleased expression at beating Dib at the test by a mark of 0.5 was dismissed quickly. He frowned and crossed his arms and spoke to no one in particular. "I hate this stupid Earth air. There are far to many pollutants for my AMAZING body! It's pathetic!"
He was overheard.
"I completely agree with you…" Brooke walked up to Zim, slinging her backpack over one shoulder. "I'll admit that my home world was a little bit polluted as well. Heck, we even had global warning. But this… this is just too much."
Zim nodded his head and started down the stairs. Brooke followed. "These pathetic humans have no idea what good air is anymore," Zim continued. "Once I have conquered this planet I will request to the Tallest that we clean away this pollution problem once and for all! In the meantime," he said, tenting his fingers malevolently. "The humans can rot in their own filth!" Zim laughed evilly, grabbing a few stares before he went quiet again.
Brooke snapped to attention. She placed her hands behind her head and leaned far back, sticking her feet out in front of her like a Nazi. People had commented how it was similar to Zim's proud strut. Especially Dib.
"Hey Zim? I've been meaning to ask you." She turned to meet his eyes. 'What's Irk like?"
Zim looked surprised. "You don't know from my 'TV' show?" By this time the green-skinned invader had not only become accustomed to having a TV show in Brooke's world but was also increasingly proud of it. This only added to his tremendous ego.
Brooke shook her head. "No. There was… 1 episode with a glimpse of it. It was he very first episode I think… The Tallest were reflecting on how you'd mess- uh… been in Operation Impending Doom 1. After that there might have been one more incident when Tak came in but I'm pretty sure that was a different planet. Maybe one the Irken's had conquered."
Zim thought for a moment. "That's a hard question to answer… I'm not sure how I can really describe Irk… Well, I guess for one thing, it's the most AMAZING PLANET EVER!!!"
Brooke frowned.
He raised a brow. "Uh… well… There are more buildings than here on Earth… it's very purple, pink and red. There's no greenery or water on Irk, unlike here. Let's see… there are a lot of Irkens, did you know that?"
The girl rolled her eyes. "No… Really? I'd never suspected that…"
Zim smiled. "You see? You will learn much from Zim! I am a very good teacher you know."
"I'm sure." Brooke's eyes went straight and she blinked as she remembered something. "Oh! Zim, I have a theory about the water here on Earth." Zim's interest was peeked. He motioned for her to continue. "Well, the water that tends to affect you the most is rain water, right? I think that because the clouds and upper atmosphere are so coated in toxins and pollutants, it might not be the water that hurts you, but rather the toxins in it."
"You fail to remember, Brooke-student, that the water Dib used on me when he found out was from taps."
"Could have been polluted. That's possible you know."
Zim rubbed his chin. "Hmm… I like how you think…"
The two stopped at a crossroads. Zim and Brooke looked to the left and then the right at the same time. One car passed and then they crossed, their feet linking together, giving the impression that they were pod people, or robots.
In the middle of the road Zim's PAK began to beep loudly. He stopped a moment and a blue car honked at him. Brooke pulled the boy out of the way and they stopped on the sidewalk, activating the PAK after concluding that no one was around to see them.
A screen rose up on a metal stand and bent down to Zim's face. Brooke leaned in close to see the message that ran by. Zim's smile brightened and he looked up at Brooke. "AH HA! You have tested me with your algebra today Brooke-student. Now is Zim's turn to test you! Read this sign out to me. Translate it from Irken as best as you can."
Brooke looked at him and then nodded. "Okay, I'll try." She glanced at the screen. "Uh… Okay. Attention, all Irken Invaders… um… There will be a meeting in one galactic day's time for the new signing of the Irken- Planet Jackers treaty. The Almighty Tallest will be making an appearance, taking a break from their hard days conquering other worlds for the benefit of the Irken Empire… hmm… It is encouraged for Irkens to bring newly discovered technology forth for it to be determined as important or not, by the Almighty Tallest themselves, during the banquet festival after the treaty has been signed…" Zim halted Brooke before she could continue.
"Did you hear that!? All Irken Invaders! The fact that I have received this message means that it is required that I attend!"
"The only reason that you got this message is because you hacked into the communications mainframe and granted yourself access to them," Brooke stated, rolling her eyes at Zim's obvious mistake.
"I only had to do that because of the mistake of my name not already being on the list! I was merely fixing the computer error. Hardly against the law." Zim pulled the screen back into his PAK and smiled brightly. "It is settled! I shall go to the treaty signing and make the Tallest proud of my accomplishments on Earth!"
Brooke was tempted to ask what accomplishments but she didn't. "Can I come?" she asked.
"Of course not!" Zim said frowning. "You'd only get in the way. And you're not meant to attend. It's only for invaders, the sign even said so!"
"But…"
Zim held up his hand. "No buts Brooke-student. You're not going and that's final." He stood straight and tall again. "I'll be leaving tonight or I'll never make it in time. You stay here and guard the base as well as take care of Gir. I WON'T be bringing him along. I can't have anything going wrong."
The girl frowned, disappointed, but nodded nonetheless. "Yes sir, wakadi mashda…"
Zim frowned. "And stop talking in other Earth languages!"
Then he walked off. Brooke stayed behind a little, looking at the ground. Soon she followed, head hung low and a new reason to start up voodoo again dwindling in her strange mind.
Kim: TADA!!! What do you think? COMMENT!!!
Brooke: Damn it Kim! First I cut my hair to differ from your character and now you have EB thinking about cutting HER hair! You're EVIL!!!
Kim: Tee hee. I know.