Disclaimer: I own nothing!
This is not based on the extended trailer on cbs. c o m
Spoilers for "Semper Fidelis"
Sort of a companion fic for "Ascent" although you don't have to read it to understand this
Let go! Let go, he screamed to himself, but he could not make his arms drop the gun. This is Ziva! he thought, Why am I doing this? She won't hurt me!
Then again, she didn't seem to be dropping her weapon either. Could he blame her though? He was the one who had just killed a man. He was the danger – both in her mind and in the law. He was also her partner, and they'd been through so much together it was as if they had known one another for their whole lives. And yet neither of them dared to drop their weapons.
"Are you okay?" she asks finally, her voice cold and calm – the picture of control. He hesitates on a response, biting back a sarcastic reply of "Yeah, just dandy." He assesses his condition and comes up with the reply of, "I'll live," which he instantly regrets. The man next to him certainly won't.
She nods, takes a breath, and he sees relief and sadness flit across her face.
"Is he – ?" she asks, though her face reveals that she knows he isn't. Tony can't think up an appropriate response. He should say "I'm sorry" but he isn't really. And even if he was, he doesn't think that saying it aloud will make a difference. He's sorry he hurt her.
He can't help but notice that even now neither of them has dropped their guns. It was a reflex, putting them up, but keeping the weapons drawn was only used in extremely hostile situations. Despite the fact that he had just killed a man, surely Ziva knew that he wasn't about to fire his weapon at her.
If she had been attacking him instead of Michael, would he have shot her? The question comes unbidden and unwanted. He dwells on it just long enough to feel ill, and then shoves it away. Now is not the time to be dealing with 'what ifs'.
His silence is enough confirmation. She nods once. He doesn't see the anguish she is feeling, but he knows she is hurting because her face has gone stoney. The last time she looked this cold, he had been strapped to a chair, getting beaten up for her refusal to cooperate.
He knows she won't drop her gun until he does. It goes against his training to surrender his weapon, but asking Ziva to submit was asking her to deny everything she had ever known. He is willing to bet that she had learned how to care for a gun before learning how to tie her shoes.
So he slowly lowers his own weapon, letting it fall to the ground. Even after he put his hands on the ground, she keeps her weapon on him. It is only a millisecond later that her grip loosens and the fun falls unceremoniously to the ground to rest beside his.
She walks towards the body on the ground, her search for a pulse confirming his story. She sits next to the body, no tears, the picture of calm.
"I think you should go now, Tony."
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