I decided to try getting back into writing fanfiction. This might not stick, so don't get too attached please. I probably won't continue any of the stories i already was writing. I can't stand to look at them. Please be sure to give this as critical a review as you can. And If anyone is interested in being an Editor and help keep me motivated, that'd be awesome, but I know I'd be asking too much of you all.

I don't own the writes to Naruto or any related Properties. But if I did, oh if I did, I'd hand the reigns to 1 of the ten writers on this site I know would be better at it than Kishimoto himself.

Chapter 1 - The Heart Wants, the Heart Doesn't

Naruto sat there, thinking about those words. They were words he had waited his entire life to hear from just someone in this world, but since he heard them he's been feeling strange. His heart was a mixture of guilt, sadness, and joy, and these feelings didn't all seem unrelated, nor completely related.

I love you/em. These three words had never been spoken to him before Hinata stood between him and Pein. He didn't even see her as she said it, just the trails of her long silk black hair. After that fight a lot had happened and Hinata had been kept in reserve duty until the war due to her injuries. Because of that, he barely even talked to her.

But what was churning his stomach, was that he wasn't sure what he was feeling in return. All the countless wars and battles had given him plenty of time to avoid the subject, but peace isn't as forgiving as war is. Hinata was someone he had known since he was a child. She was beautiful, smart, courageous, and unshakeable. There wasn't anything about her that he wouldn't want in a partner, but then why was it so impossible for him to imagine his life with hers. The two in a house with a couple children.

His thoughts turned to the end of the war. He and Sasuke had finished their last scuffle. Naruto had won, beat him up and stopped him from doing any more damage, though he worried two about the after effects of his actions. emHad I done the right thing? Would it have been more merciful to kill him than to do what I did?/em But his thoughts were turning to other topics. He wanted to avoid this subject as much as he could.

He remembered the trip home, Sasuke's body lying in Sakura's arms as she held him close to her body. A feeling of serenity was washing over him as he remembered him sitting up front with a guard as the two spent their time together in the back of the wagon. People assumed that he was in love with Sakura, which made sense from an outside observer. But people like Kiba and Shikamaru knew better. They only joked about it because they knew it would get a rise out of him.

Sakura was the most popular girl in their school back at the academy. Everyone wanted to be her friend, and by proxy, everyone wanted to be friends with her friends. Naruto didn't have a single friend at the time, let alone a girl friend or even emgirlfriend/em, so to him, logically, Sakura was the best option to befriend if he wanted to make a lot of friends.

His constant followings and attempts at her attention always failed but in a way, they worked as well. Their relationship had become one of hi's and punches to the mouth of said speaker. And it was a routine that he liked since it meant he had someone who acknowledge his presence without scorn or unexplained hatred. Nowadays he knew why everyone hated him, but back then? Sakura was the only person outside of the "lazy group" that didn't see him with hatred. She just didn't see him with friendship either.

After graduation, Sakura's flat out rejection squared away his understanding of her feelings. She didn't like him as a friend, and sure as all hell didn't like him in any other way either. Sure they became friends later on, but he knew she loved Sasuke, and he didn't mind that. He didn't like her that way anyway.

But Hinata was another story. It felt like the roles had been reversed. Hinata has apparently always been watching him, following him, hoping he would be her friend. And now he had been given months and months to collect his thoughts on her feelings, and he just couldn't reciprocate them. She was his friend. A sister at most. But he couldn't hurt her like that could he?

Oh piss off you miserable idiot

Kurama? what do you want?

I'm stuck in your head, listening to your angst and you expect me to shut up and deal with it? You're irrupting enough when you're happy. I don't need your angst as well!

I thought you loved my angst? Weren't you always pushing me towards it?

Hatred, not angst. Hatred is a force that burns the blood, wipes humanity from the soul. And If I really wanted you to feel Hatred, i wouldn't be having you cry over getting a girl to confess to you and you not like her back. What are you? Back in the Academy? Aren't you an Adult? Suck it up. What's the point in that headband if you're going to cry like a ten year old.

Getting up, he pulled the dust from littering his pants and looked at the clock. It was 3. He told Kiba that he wanted to do some training with Team 8 to make sure he wasn't getting rusty in the peace, but it was only a half truth. His main reason was so that he'd have an excuse to meet with Hinata and settle this with her.

Putting on his jumper, he closed the door and made his way out.

The road had been bumpy. Sasuke's eyes were still bleeding from the fight he and Naruto had finished. The terrain was decimated and rocks with falling into abysses everywhere. The crows were getting hungry and they had believed that this was the end. Naruto had one, just by a short straw, his Rasenshuriken proving the superior technique to Sasuke's own Kirin technique. But Naruto had exhausted all of his chakra. The Nine-Tail was even having a tough time keeping the two of them alive.

They had been waiting for hours before she caught up with them. She had only managed to find them because the crows were gathered so tightly, but as soon as she did, emergency first aid was given and a rescue flare was sent out. Naruto's body was covered in burns, both electrical and thermal and he didn't seem to be regenerating nearly as fast as he normally did.

Sasuke was bleeding from his entire body. Wounds everywhere. Bruises from punches and kicks seems to be indented over deep gashes. Blood loss and nerve tissue was a serious problem. Sasuke tried to let out something but it came as nothing but a whisper. It drew her attention to his face, and the terror struck her at the real damage that had been done. There was no recovering from this damage. He was done. a complete defeat. No possible recover. She was almost tempted to make an incision then and there. Spare him it all. But she couldn't.

Was it hate? was it love? what compelled her to leave him like that? Living, but no longer alive? What could - "SAKURA!"

She woke up, her head pulling from the bed, her attention turning to Mr. Kei Yamanaka. An in-law of Ino's that she had personally recommended. All ninjas were required to attend regular therapy sessions if they had served active duty in any field during the war. She was no exception.

"I won't bother asking you how are feel ing. I was in there with you while you were remembering that. But I must ask, do you want to talk about it?"

"What do you want me to say? That I feel sorry? Sorry for not getting there in time? Sorry I failed as a medic to heal the sick? Or sorry I failed to slit his throat? To kill him before he had time to recuperate and come to terms with his condition?"

"Sakura. You need to learn to be more honest with yourself. You've suffered from stress and emotional imbalances several times in your life. I see in your notes you even had to receive treatment for Dissociate Identity Disorder back in your youth."

"Yeah, I know. Inner Sakura as she liked to be called. My Shadow. We finally got her done after my second Chuunin Exam. It was Tsunade-dono's condition to give me before I was allowed to get ranked. She said it was too unstable and dangerous to be of two minds about something during a mission."

"Do you feel of two minds now?" He asked, scribbling some notes down on his scribe and looking as disinterested as humanly possible.

"Are you asking if I feel like Inner Sakura is resurfacing? Because no. I don't know what I'm feeling. Every time I see him my heart splits in two. On one side I should despise him, but on the other side I see him and my heart leaps for joy." She held her hand, now balled up in a fist, clutched to her heart as she leaned down, her feat touching the floor. Her heels and toes rocked back and forth, exchanging dominance and her body swung lightly.

The therapist looked disappointed, but kept his words to himself. He looked at the clock and sighed, hoping he could have gotten more time.

"Miss Haruno. I would very much appreciate it if we could shorten the distance between our sessions. I believe we need to tackle this issue before it becomes a hazard to your mental health. I'm going to recommend what I did last session. That you request a transfer from your current assignment and switch to reserve duty, but I cannot force you to do anything. Please remember though that Lady Tsunade does have that rich and she will be getting a copy of my report tonight.

She nodded, getting up and making her way out, sighing as she decided to visit Ino at her shop and see if they could do some bonding before she had to head home.