This fanfiction is mainly Narcissa/Severus, but contains hints of Narcissa/Lucius and of the Severus/Narcissa/Lucius love triangle. There are so few fics about that pairing… Well, I must admit, I believe there are never enough fics with Snape!
And as I always say: "Any pairing with Snape is a good pairing."
I chose the song 'She Is My Sin' because it literally screamed Narcissa/Severus. :)
This is my first fanfiction in English (to tell the truth, it was translated from French), and since it is not my first language, I hope that you will be indulgent and keep reading it…
A huge Thank you to Virgina Rose who betaed this story! Unfortunately, we lost contact...
And another immense Thank you to Sue Bridehead who re-betaed She Is My Sin!
Hope you enjoy reading it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does. The song 'She Is My Sin' is the property of Nightwish.
She Is My Sin
By Crunchy Snape
o-o-o
To paradise with pleasure haunted by fear
o-o-o
Why did I ever accept this challenge from the Weasley brothers...
Harry Potter was presently standing in Snape's office and was searching in his professor's vast cupboards behind his desk, the ones that were usually locked. One hand was holding his invisibility cloak, and the other was gently pushing aside small potions flasks. It seemed that the professor had left hastily, leaving everything unsupervised. So, Harry had easily entered in his quarters without setting off one of the many magical alarms.
His green eyes were now reading the labels on the bottles containing different potions. Harry had been challenged, after he had taken part in a stupid game created by the Weasley twins, to penetrate Snape's office while he was away and bring back the potion that he judged the most interesting. Of course, he could have taken the first potion he saw, but his honour (as well as his ego) was keeping him from doing so. Furthermore, he wanted to impress them...
I hope that's where he hides his Veritaserum...
Unfortunately, none of the bottles were labeled "Veritaserum". He heaved a frustrated sigh, and his free hand automatically went through his jet-black hair. A bit disappointed that he would not come back in the Gryffindor common room with a bottle of Veritaserum in hand, his attention was then directed to his other choices.
'Potion for burns', 'Unswelling potion', 'Forgetfulness potion'. No, nothing that would impress Ron's brothers.
While looking on another shelf, he noticed a flask at the far end of the cupboard, hidden behind the others. It was labeled 'Pénétatrice potion'. Interesting! He had heard about it from Hermione.
It does... He tried to remember. Oh yes! It's used to read people's thoughts... Or something like that.
Of course, it wasn't Veritaserum, but for the moment, it remained the best potion he had found.
Harry suddenly heard footsteps that were rapidly coming nearer to where he was. The young sorcerer hid under his invisibility cloak and got ready to leave with the potion when he found himself face to face with Lucius Malfoy. He took a step back quietly to prevent from crashing in the wizard who was quickly moving toward him and stood in a far corner of the office. He then noticed Lucius's wife, Narcissa, followed closely by the potions master.
They surely came to see Draco Malfoy, thought Harry. As if he needs to be spoiled even more.
Harry was neither deaf nor blind. He often noticed the huge owl bringing parcels at each mail delivery to the youngest Malfoy. He also heard the young boy reminding everyone who would listen that his parents were always giving him presents and sweets so he wouldn't miss home too much... And now poor Draco had visitors to Hogwarts!
That reminded Harry of the family he never had, not that he wanted to have parents like Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. Quite the contrary, he would much rather be named Harry Dursley than Harry Malfoy, which was saying something. But at least, Draco had a family that seemed to care.
Harry was looking around him, searching for a way to escape and saw, to his horror, that Snape was closing the door behind him, locking him inside of a room with some of the people he loathed the most in the world.
Lucius Malfoy was dressed elegantly, as usual, and was holding his cane, which hid his wand. His hair was held back with a simple white ribbon, and his haughty look was giving him an even more aristocratic air. He was wearing a deep blue satin suit, which brought out the grey of his cold eyes. Narcissa was in a red, medieval style velvet dress, the sleeves so long they were practically touching the ground. A diadem adorned her face, which would have been much more beautiful if it wasn't always displaying a look of pure disgust. Snape still possessed his usual black robes, and his hair was as greasy as ever.
"What do you want, Lucius?" asked Snape, his voice neutral. "These past few months, you go straight to Draco's dormitory. We haven't even spoke to each other since last summer."
"Don't be so distant! Don't I have the right to visit an old friend?" answered Lucius, a smirk playing on his lips.
Harry noticed that Snape seemed slightly nervous. His expression was void of any emotion, but when Harry looked at his professor's hands, he could observe a small tremor.
"What do you want, Lucius?" repeated Snape once again, but this time more slowly. "You know I hate it when you beat about the bush."
An almost inaudible sigh escaped Lucius's lips and the wizard raised his eyes to heaven, somewhat irritated, and went closer to the potions master. For a moment, Lucius stared at the other Slytherin, who didn't move a muscle.
"Why didn't you come when you felt the Dark Mark after the Dark Lord's rebirth? The Dark Lord is extremely disappointed with you; there is even a price on your head."
Severus rolled his eyes but held his friend's gaze.
"Lucius, you know clearly why I wasn't present at the Death Eater meeting. I am not one of his followers anymore, -"
"I refuse to believe you!" hurled the blond. "You had the most desired position, right at his side! Everyone else envied you this job; you were his favourite! Even you are not that much of an idiot to refuse such an opportunity!"
The professor frowned but kept a calm and composed voice.
"I am not an idiot," he reprimanded. "He would never have welcomed me with open arms, Lucius. I would have been killed the second I apparated to the cemetery."
"I would have talked to the Dark Lord for you. And I can still talk to him... He would have accepted you eventually."
Folding his arms on his chest, Snape replied simply, "And for how long would I have been in his Death Eater circle?"
A silence more significant than every word exchanged was heard as the two men stared persistently at each other. Harry was watching the scene closely and noticed that Narcissa didn't seem the least bit bothered by what was happening in front of her.
What the heck is happening? Harry asked himself. Is Malfoy really suggesting what I think he is?
The young man blinked in astonishment. If only he could have recorded this conversation... He could have denounced Lucius Malfoy to the Ministry of Magic once and for all! And if Snape had agreed to his offer, he would have been rid of him at the same time!
Harry sighed dejectedly for not having a magical recorder and turned his attention to the Slytherins in front of him. Lucius suddenly took a very gentle tone, like he was trying to cajole a frightened creature.
"Sev', come on, just like in the good old times, don't you remember? When we dreamed to change the world..."
"But it is time to wake up, Lucius!" hissed Snape, gritting his teeth. "It is certainly not the Dark Lord who will help us change the world! And you know that as much as me, don't you? Don't take me for an idiot, only power interests you, and as soon as he tires of you, he will get rid of you like an old piece of parchment. I am sorry, Lucius, but I must decline your proposition."
It was Malfoy's turn to heave a frustrated sigh. He closed his eyes and opened them a moment later, his eyes cold.
"You do know that if you refuse, we officially become enemies?"
Harry felt his own eyes coming out of their sockets. He had felt emotion in Malfoy's voice; melancholy, or even sadness, as if saying those words was hard for him. This was becoming more and more surprising...
But it wasn't over, and he heard Snape say with the same bitterness in his voice, "I know, but it is my choice, and yours..."
The coldness returned to Lucius's voice, like those last moments had been erased from his memory.
"You know, I could kill you... I should kill you. He ordered us to."
"I don't believe that you would be capable of such a thing. Anyway, if you did, the Headmaster would automatically suspect you, since everyone saw me leave with you. And we both know which of us is the best duelist in this room," said Snape with a small victorious smirk.
Malfoy frowned and threw a look that was meant to be intimidating but didn't seem to quite reach its goal.
"I am going. Know that from now on, you won't receive any mercy from me."
"I didn't hope for anything less from you."
Malfoy raised his chin in a last sign of superiority. "I am going to see Draco now."
He turned on his heels and walked toward the exit. He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed that his wife was not following him, he raised his eyebrows, his expression prying.
"Are you coming, Narcissa?" he almost ordered, without turning around.
The woman who had remained silent during the whole exchange turned her head to the voice that was calling her and said with a small smile, "I will join you later, my love. Before I go, I wish to say a last goodbye to Severus."
The blonde sent a cold and menacing glare to Snape. The next words he spoke seemed to be difficult, as if he didn't want his wife to stay with the potions master without him being present.
"Well... All right."
And without another word, he left the office. The two remaining Slytherins exchanged looks that Harry didn't understand.
o-o-o
Take heed, dear heart
Once apart she can touch nor me nor you
Dressed as one
A wolf will betray a lamb
o-o-o
Harry saw a mix of emotions in his professor's eyes, as well as those of his worst enemy's mother. Many feelings were visible on Snape's face, going from regret to a sentiment that Harry could not identify.
Harry was now very curious.
I wish I could read people's minds!
Read people's minds? But of course!
The potion he was holding in his hands was designed precisely for that! He calmly removed the stopper from the flask and gently brought it to his lips. As soon as the first drop of liquid touched his mouth, an atrocious pain made its way to his head. It hurt so much that he had to bite his lower lip in order to prevent himself from screaming. He literally felt as if his skull breaking into tiny pieces. He suddenly heard many voices, voices that he didn't recognize. The young wizard was holding his head with both hands, trying in vain to block this cacophony. Suddenly, the sensation stopped as abruptly as it had begun.
Harry opened his eyes and only heard Snape and Narcissa's voices. However, strangely, their mouths weren't moving. He heard a feminine voice say in his mind:
My poor Lucius... So jealous...
At the same moment, he heard Narcissa say to Snape with a sly smile, "He doesn't seem to trust us, alone, in the same room..."
He would be even more suspicious if he knew what I still feel for you, Severus, Harry heard in his head.
The young wizard's eyes were now wide with surprise. She was... in love with him? It was possible to love Severus Snape? Harry suddenly had the urge to empty the contents of his stomach.
And then he realized something, the potion was working!
"You made the right decision by refusing, and he knows it. That's why he is so furious," She continued with a heavy sigh. "But you know him as well, if not better, than I do. He is convinced that there is money to be made by joining... You-Know-Who and that he will gain a lot of influence by his side... But that doesn't mean that he doesn't miss you – but that, he will probably never admit... nor will you," she added with a small smile.
Snape diverted his gaze from Narcissa's.
"Don't be ridiculous, Narcissa. Lucius was nothing more to me than an acquaintance that I met during my first year at Hogwarts. I never considered him a friend."
"Oh yes? Is that so? Then why did you keep on meeting each other whenever you had the opportunity? I do believe that you were both sincere and close friends. You always appreciated meaningful conversations, and he was the only one who deserved your attention."
Harry had difficulty hearing the next words from Snape, who lowered his head, his eyes full of hatred, and had to listen more carefully.
"A real friend doesn't steal his best friend's girlfriend..." Mumbled Snape.
"Sev', we weren't officially dating and-" Began Narcissa in a whisper.
"He knew my feelings for you, and he also knew yours for me!" Cut the professor. "However, that didn't stop him from asking your parents for your hand..."
He never accepted failure when it came to gaining what he desired, so he took you by force, added Snape's voice in Harry's mind.
A tense silence followed. The two were lost in their own memories, avoiding looking at each other.
o-o-o
Lead astray the gazers
The razors on you seducing skin
In the meadow of sinful thoughts
Every flower's perfect
o-o-o
"I know. It was unfair," She said, her head down. "But I forgave him. I even learned to love him and see his qualities. It's true that I wasn't interested in the least in him when I was transferred to Hogwarts during my sixth year. He was never subtle in his flirting," she added after a moment, a nostalgic smile on her lips.
I saw clearly that I was only a new conquest in his eyes, when you introduced him to me during a Hogsmeade weekend, she continued in her mind. He also saw very well that he wouldn't win against you, so he rapidly pulled us apart with this proposal.
" 'Nothing stops a Malfoy.' " Sighed Snape, lost in his own thoughts.
"That's what Lucius always repeats..."
"I understood this sentence only when it was too late, when you turned down my offer to take you to the Yule Ball, saying you didn't feel anything for me," said Snape.
"What did you want me to say then? I was as depressed as you were."
I remember that evening. Harry now heard Snape's voice in echo in his mind. I went to confront you in the Common Room.
"If you really want to know, I'm getting married to Lucius this summer," you told me, your eyes full of tears.
"What! He wouldn't dare...?"
"I don't have any other choice."
"Do you love me?"
"What I feel is not important anymore..."
"Do you love me?" I repeated once again with more conviction. "I need to know."
"Yes, I do."
"Then kiss me."
"What?" you answered in disbelief.
"I want... to keep a memory."
And you came closer, slowly. You took my face between your hands and gently brushed your satin-smooth lips against mine. I had never felt such a powerful emotion, such a passion. And I knew you felt it as well. I wished that the moment would last an eternity.
Unfortunately, I never noticed that we were being spied on, as we were disappearing into my empty dormitory...
o-o-o
I am the Fallen
You are what my sins enclose
Lust is not as creative
As its discovery
o-o-o
Harry heard every word thought by Snape, and he was completely bewildered. This story was strangely similar to one of the soap operas that Aunt Petunia watched on television each week. He was almost moved by their tragic love. He then remembered that the characters in this modern Romeo & Juliet were both people he hated, and that alone was enough to make him lose all trace of pity he could have felt for them. However, he had to admit: Never would he have thought that Snape, the most despicable and unfair man he knew, had such a difficult love life. Or had a love life at all, for that matter.
"But you finally talked to him again," she started on a lighter note. "Although it wasn't without any difficulty."
"Without any violence, you mean," corrected Snape with a smile.
"Indeed. It was a Hogsmeade day, wasn't it?"
"The Christmas one, if I remember correctly. On the street, moreover."
This time, it was Narcissa's turn to recall past moments. Harry heard once again the younger voices of Snape and Narcissa. However, the senior Malfoy's was added among them.
I had never seen Lucius so furious.
"How dare you lie to me, Severus? There were witnesses!"
"What are you talking about? Nothing happened between me and 'Cissa!" you lied.
"Don't deny it! Avery and Rosier told me everything. The kiss... and the fact that you spent the night in the dormitories. And don't try to make me believe that you only talked up to 5 o'clock in the morning!"
And I had never blushed in shame like I did that day!
"Lucius," I told him. "Let's discuss the matter somewhere else, in a more private-"
"Don't interfere, Narcissa! So, Severus, what do you have to say for yourself?" he continued while turning his attention back to you.
"And if something really happened? She's still not married, as far as I'm concerned!"
"So you acted behind my back without any remorse? I thought we were friends, Severus."
"Idiot! It's me who should feel betrayed! You never accepted the fact that she chose me over you!"
"Nothing stops a Malfoy!"
I think it was that sentence that made you lose your temper. You, Severus, usually so calm and quiet, rushed to Lucius and surprised him – and everyone else – with a solid punch on the nose.
Harry closed his eyes and, with a wide smile, imagined the scene that was depicted in his mind. How he wished he could have been there! Or even better, to have punched Lucius himself.
"Lucius was so stunned!" she added, this time aloud.
"I think it was the first time someone ever dared facing him..." Snape said with a smirk on his lips.
"His pride was certainly hurt, in front of that crowd."
"And to get his revenge, he asked me to be his best man."
"I can assure you, he never intended to do that to be nasty. He wanted you so much to be by his side during his wedding, even if he never admitted it. It's me who pushed him to make the request."
"Really?"
"Really."
A new silence, more tense than the previous ones appeared. Both of them seemed absorbed in their own thoughts.
"Sev'," began Narcissa while breaking the silence. "If I came here with Lucius, it was not to visit Draco. I wanted to ask you one last favour."
Snape lifted his gaze abruptly to meet Narcissa's.
"Which is?"
"Lucius has started to implant dark ideas into Draco's mind. He has already begun talking about the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who. He's even considered Draco meeting the Dark Lord in the near future. I don't want Draco to be on the wrong side when the second war begins, and this constant brainwashing from Lucius doesn't help..."
"And how does this concern me?"
Narcissa heaved a deep sigh before continuing. "Severus, I am asking you – no, I am begging you – encourage Draco to choose the side of the light. There is still hope for him! And besides, you're the only one who can reach him."
"You do know that Lucius will soon have him despising me, don't you?"
"That's why you must influence him right now! It's not too late... He still sees you as a model, Severus. Please! If you can convince him that his father is wrong, perhaps he won't end up in Azkaban... Or dead."
"I will try my best, 'Cissa, you know that."
"Thank you. It's been a long time since you last called me that," she reminded him timidly.
She came closer to him graciously and gently placed her hands on each side of his face and closed her eyes. She lowered the professor's face to her level and covered his lips softly with her own in one last attempt to exhibit her love for him. Slowly, Snape slipped one of his hands on the small of Narcissa's back and the other in her hair.
o-o-o
A sin for him
Desire within
A burning veil
For the bride too dear for him
A sin for him
Desire within
Fall in love with your deep dark sin
o-o-o
Harry stopped looking at the desperate lovers, feeling like he was intruding in a sacred moment, a secret between the two. He could still hear them sigh in sadness through the kiss.
Narcissa broke the kiss first. Snape stayed a while longer with his eyes closed, as if he was trying to engrave this memory of her in his mind forever. The two stayed locked in a tender embrace a small moment before Narcissa began to speak again.
"I have to go..."
"I know..."
"Thank you once again, Severus."
He kissed her tenderly on the forehead and let her go. She went out of the room without glancing back.
Before the effects of the mind-reading potion faded, the last thoughts Harry heard were nearly whispered in his brain in unison, in an almost imperceptible way...
"I love you..."
o-o-o
Bless me, undress me
Pick your prey in a wicked way
God I must confess...
...I do envy the sinners
o-o-o
Fin
A/N: I can't believe I made an end so cheesy! Please leave a review and tell me what you think! Thank you.
À plus tard! Lots of Zibous!