Hah hah hah, WOW. So. I was checking the comments left on DeviantART for me the other day, and I was asked when I'd continue this story! WOW. I never thought anybody cared. .. Well, I'm fixing this up just for you, whoever you are! I'll keep a copy of the original, incase you like it better. I'm going to go through it and try and make it better. Also, I've changed the names to the Japanese names, as I know many are annoyed by the English names. Myself included. :3
Mostly what' I've changed are some spelling/grammar mistakes that I made (man, there were a TON of them!) and the names. I tried to make it more realistic (psh, it's an anime/manga, as if that'll work well!) and tried to make the characters seem a bit closer to how they really are. I'll work on continuing it, too!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. If I did, Detective Conan would be MUCH darker. And more perverted. And disturbing in general. Be thankful I own naught but the idea behind this story. LOL
Chapter 1: Love Will Prevail
Conan's POV
I sigh sadly. I know that it's wrong, but... I just can't take this anymore. It's been so long now... I've given up hoping for an antidote... Every night I hear Ran crying because I can't be there as Shinichi... I want to tell her so much... But I just can't... She'd kill me, or be devastated that I didn't tell her sooner. That is, if she even believed me. I gave up hoping about a month ago. I don't even care if anybody notices that I'm not acting normal anymore. Not like anybody'd notice. I've started to resort of things I shouldn't to feel better. I cut. I do it every night after Kogoro and Ran are asleep. It may be hard as hell to hide the injuries, but still... It's the only time that I get any relief from the pain that I'm feeling inside... I take the pocket knife from where I keep it hidden, and open the blade. I press it gently to my upper arm, and press. I flinch as the metal slices my flesh, and blood oozes out of the new wound. I drag it down a bit, then pull it back. I do this a few more times before I feel any better. After I finish, I take a paper towel and wipe the blade clean. Quietly, I replace everything. Nobody needs to know about this. It just hurt Ran more to find out, but... I just can't stop. I want to, I've tried to, but... I just can't! I lie awake starting into space for hours. After quite some time, I finally fall asleep.
Ran's POV:
"Are you sure you don't want any ice cream, Conan-kun?" The small boy just ignores me.
"I'll take that as a no, then, right?" Conan-kun nods faintly. I'm starting to get worried about him. For the last month, he's seemed really down. He doesn't sleep very well, and eats next to nothing... I try to find out what's wrong, but... He just tells me that he's fine. All that he ever wants to do anymore is just stare into space... I wish I could help him, but... He gets up and heads to the door suddenly.
"Where are you going?" I don't think he should go out if he's acting this way… Something must be wrong. Why won't he tell me what it is?
He sighs sadly as he responds, worrying me even more. "I just need to get some fresh air..." He leaves without another word.
A few moments later, I watch as he disappears from sight out the window. I've been meaning to get him out for a while now. I know that he keeps a journal, and that he writes in it almost every night. I know that it's rude to read something like that, but... If I do, then maybe I can figure out what's wrong, and I can help him... I'm worried about him, and I can't keep my mind from coming up with the worst possible explanations for his behavior as I enter and search his room. Fount it! He hid his journal under the bed. Opening it up, I notice that I've turned to last night's entry. The page is stained with tears. But that's not what scares me. It's the other stains that scare me. The blood.
It's been an entire month since I gave up hope on ever getting an antidote... Also, I just can't stand the way that Ran cries every night... I just can't take it... The only time that I'm not cursing my existence is when I cut... My upper arms are pretty scarred from nightly abuse, now, and it isn't really easy to hide. Kinda strange, seeing as I'm really good at hiding things. Like who I really am, and what happened that night. I want to tell Ran my secret more than anything, but... I just can't... It'd just bee too cruel. After all, I've finally made up my mind. I just can't deal with this living hell anymore. Tomorrow night, it all-
I hastily shove the notebook back under the bed and leave the room as I hear Conan-kun returning. I'm even more afraid for him now. There's no way! The sweet little boy I know and love, the younger brother I never had, cuts himself? He's always so cheerful! How can he do that to himself...? But no… He's not always cheerful, is he? There're times when it's like he's wearing a mask, and he tries so hard to hide what he's really feeling. Sometimes, that mask slips, and he seems so much older than he is. He seems so much more mature than the other kids his age. What made him this way? Is that what's driving him to hurt himself? What's he going to do tonight? I step into his line of sight, and he smiles at me. His eyes aren't happy, though. They're just... Empty. I can feel fear's icy grip on my heart.
Conan's POV:
I smile at Ran as I spot her. I don't want her to get suspicious. Then I notice her eyes. I think that I'm a little late. Her eyes are full of fear and worry. Before I can note anything else, though, she looks away.
"H-hi, Conan-kun. I, uh, didn't think you'd be back so, uh, soon..." She seems kind of nervous.
"Are you okay Ran-neechan? You seem jumpy..." I know that I saw her flinch at that.
Y-yeah. You just startled me a little bit.. That's all..." She hurries to her room without another word. I sigh and head into mine as well.
Ran's POV:
I'm scared. I can't understand why Conan-kun has been hurting himself, and I'm afraid of what he might do tonight... Neither of us wants dinner, and Dad says something about heading to a bar... I spend the entire evening in my room. Still nothing... At about midnight, Dad finally gets back. But, I still don't hear anything from Conan-kun's room. Two hours later, I finally hear something. I can hear him moving about as it is silent for everything else. I hope he's okay. I should find out in case he needs help. Maybe he just needs somebody to listen to him… I silently leave my room, and listen outside his door, which is open just a crack. I can hear a pen scratching on paper, and muted sobs.
Conan's POV:
I carefully put the note on my bed. It won't explain everything, but it'll tell them who to ask about the rest of the story. I take a deep breath to steady myself, then press the blade of the pocket knife to my wrist. I know that nobody can hear me, but I still apologize in a soft whisper. "I'm sorry... Please forgive me... I just can't take this anymore... I'm sorry..." Tears fill my eyes as I prepare to end my life, and thus my suffering.
Ran's POV:
I tense as I listen to his near-silent whispers. I quietly open the door a little bit wider, and am horrified by what I see. He's got tears running freely down his face, and there is a note on his bed. And he's got a knife to his wrist, ready to slice it open. "CONAN!" I slam his door open all the way, and dash into his room as I yell his name.
Conan's POV:
"CONAN!" I drop the knife, whirling around to stare at Ran, who just flung my door open. Her eyes are wide with fear and shining with tears. Before I can do anything, she dashes into the room and drops to her knees beside me. Then she hugs me. Actually, she's hugging me so tightly that it hurts a little bit. Then I notice it. She's sobbing.
"C-Conan! Why, Conan? Why are y-you w-willing t-to throw your-your life a-a-away? Please, tell m-me..."
I knew it would be better to do it someplace else! Now she's upset… I don't want to hurt her anymore, but at least if I'm gone, she can move on…
"I'm sorry... I know that sorry isn't good enough, though... I just... I just can't take this anymore..." I can feel tears welling up in my eyes as I realize just how close I came to giving up more than I knew I had in the first place.
"What's going on here? Ran? The brat? What're you two doing?! Do you have any idea what time it is?!" Kogoro. As clueless as ever. He's standing in the doorway, and he looks really mad. Ran slowly lets me go, and stands up, turning to face her dad.
"Dad..." Kogoro really doesn't seem to be very interested in listening to her, though. That's one of the things that I hate about him... Too bad it's not only one item on a short list. The list goes on and on. He's such an idiot.
"Get to bed, both of you!" Ran's eyes blaze with fury. I've never seen her this mad... Ever. And I thought she was scary before I saw her this mad…
"DAD! Do you have any idea what just happened?! " Kogoro seems ready to match his fury with Ran's. This is not going to end well... Not well at all.
"Yes, I do! You two woke me up in the middle of the night, probably because the kid had a bad dream!" Ran glares at him... She's really kinda scary right now…
"I know you've never really liked Conan, but... Even you'd have to care about this..."
I doubt that.
"Dad, Conan tried to take his own life! He was attempting suicide!" I watch as the anger in Kogoro's eyes vanishes and is replaced by disbelief. Then he spies the knife on the ground. His face changes to horror. His eyes travel from the knife to Ran's eyes, and I pick it back up. My arms hidden behind my back, I carefully press the blade to my wrist again. I know that it isn't the right thing to do, but... I just can't take this anymore. Kogoro is going to drive me crazy with his stupidity one of these days, so I might as well get this over with before then. Besides. The man hates me. He won't be sorry to see me gone. He'll be mad that it happened when he was around—that won't look good, but he won't care about me. As for Ran… Well, at least this way she can move on with her life. As long as I'm alive, she can't… It's best for her to get over Shinichi…
"I know you hate me, Kogoro, though I don't know why. I guess I'll find out eventually. After all, I'll see you in hell." I make a jerking motion to finish with what I started. I let my arms fall to my side. Ran stares in horror at the bloody knife, and my bleeding wrist.
"Ran... I'm sorry. You should also know that... Shinichi... Isn't coming back. He's dead." Well, he will be soon, anyway. I guess I expected Ran to freeze up, or something. Instead, she leaps into action.
"Dad, call the hospital, NOW! " She rips a piece of the bed cover off and ties it tightly around my wrist to stop the bleeding as Kogoro dashes off to make the call. Ran hugs me again, though not quite as tightly this time.
"Ran... Why are you prolonging my misery? Do you really want me to have to keep suffering in this living hell?" That may not be the nicest thing to say, but I really do feel that way.
"I care about you, Conan! Please, just tell me what's wrong..." She's sobbing again... This is breaking my heart... I just can't take it. I return the embrace as tightly as I can manage.
"Ran... I just can't take it anymore... Having to watch you suffer, missing Shinichi... Kogoro always yelling at me and throwing me around... Being stuck as kid all over again... I just can't take it anymore... I've lied to you. I'm not Conan, and I'm not a kid. I was drugged by some guys and was turned into a little kid. I love you Ran. I know that all this is hard to believe, but you have to. It's me. Shinichi."
Ran's POV:
I can't think anymore. Conan-kun is Shinichi? No, that's not possible! But… I've thought it several times… But he always proves that theory wrong! Besides, this is real life, not some manga or anime! Though… Conan-kun showed up the day after Shinichi vanished… He's so mature for his age, and so smart. On some level, I think I always knew… Wait! It's impossible, isn't it? No… Something tells me it's true. I hug him even tighter as I hear the paramedics coming. "Somehow, on some level, I think I always knew it was you, Shinichi... I love you too..." I can feel his small form shaking with sobs.
"I won't ever do something this stupid again." The paramedics arrive, and an hour later (the hospital waiting room really is dull), they tell Kogoro and me that Conan (it's hard to think of him as Shinichi) will be just fine. I'm so relieved. I'm allowed to visit with him. We just talk about nothing specific for a while. He slowly drifts off to sleep holding my hand. And I smile.
Fin