Sky: This is just a random little story I thought up at three in the morning last night. It took like twenty minutes to do. Just thought you guys might find in funny. Anyway, I don't own House. If I did...uh...well...I dunno what would happen if I did, alright! Also, I realize House and Cuddy wouldn't be this evil to each other moments after the birth of their daughteer but...I couldn't resist...read on good folk read on. And then review. Please?

Child Birth is Beautiful

The child in his arms was lovely, its skin flawless, silky blond hair covering its skull like adorable peach fuzz, dark eyes closed to the world as it slept, assured of its safety in its fathers arms; complete trust. Already one could tell the child would be perfect, a splendid combination of his parents best features. Chase couldn't help but grin over at his wife, tears pooling in his eyes as he examined his son once more; perfect. She was exhausted, sweat glistening over every exposed inch of her skin, disheveled beyond belief. In short, she was radiant. Cameron flashed him a weak smile, motioning him over with the tiniest nod of the head.

The Australian came near, reluctantly laying the newborn in his mothers waiting arms, daring to place the lightest of kisses on her forehead as the exchange finished.

Nurse Brenda breezed into the room, surprisingly smiley, "Do we have a name?"

A shared smile spread across the proud parents faces, "Yes," Chase began, making sure his wife still wanted this for their child. She nodded happily, turning the full of her gaze back on the child. "It's Michael."

Meanwhile in what could likely be classified as another universe...

House stared cautiously at the...creature...type...thing, in his arms as though it would bight him. And he didn't doubt it would. Look what it had done to Cuddy! She was a mess; he'd seen dieing people in less pain. And not pleasantly dieing type people either. Bleeding from the eyes type people! Nasty little bugger. It looked...weird and...stuff. "Congratulations, Cuddy," said he with considerable lack of gusto. "You have just given birth to a lizard."

He astute observation was favored with a distasteful glare, as though what he had said was not, in fact, true. Which was quiet silly as it obviously was. Nothing that evil could be human. Lisa's mouth formed in what could only be classified as a scowl. " Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else, House?"

"Not till five."

Meanwhile, the other figure in the room (who was there mainly to keep the two new parents from killing each other), namely Wilson, sat dutifully in the corner, thumbing through the bible in a desperate attempt to find the most revered commandment of them all namely: "thou shalt not argue with a pregnant woman lest thou wishest thyself to be royally screwed." Some people obviously hadn't learned that rule.

It had begun anew. "I mean...seriously Cuddy, look at it. It looks like one of those crazy chest burster's from Alien!"

Cuddy favored him with another glare, "I thought you said she was a lizard."

"You know, it could always be an alien that gestated inside a lizard..."the oncologist suggested, glancing up from his intrepid studies.

Obviously though it was taken the wrong way as all he received for his wittiness was a glare from the afore mentioned woman and a wide grin from the man, who clasped his shoulders, "Nicely done, man."

It was then Nurse Brenda breezed into the room, "Do we have a name?"

It was House who spoke up, stuffing his fear of being bitten to appear fatherly, fingering his daughters head as good fathers often do, "Yup, everyone, this is Kai."

Silence. More silence. Nudge in the ribs. "No, we decided on Leena."

He glared, snatching his child further away as though to protect her from a name he found loathsome. "On dumb ass day maybe! Her name is Kai."

Moments later, Brenda left the room, irritable. Foreman managed to catch her however (something he normally wouldn't do, but Chase and Cameron desperately wanted to know their friends daughters name. Perhaps so they could begin prearranging the wedding between the two families. ) , "So, what's the name?"

She shrugged, "They couldn't decide. So I did."

"Wha...what did you name her...?"

"Lets just say it officially dumb ass day."

And so, they named the kid Kaileena because neither was willing to give.