Catharsis
by pinkpuruu

Neji had been sitting in the garden when he heard them talking about her. He didn't think much of it at first, after all, what was she to him? Only a nuisance, something that would bother him less if he didn't think about it. Like an itch. If he just left it alone, the pain would go away. This was his usual logic when it came to dealing with the topic of Hinata.

The stranger had mentioned it only in passing. Neji couldn't place his face, but figured it was someone of importance from the way he was talking to his uncle. They acted as if he weren't there (sitting placidly next to the bubbling fountain) and talked in loud voices. He felt like resisting their efforts by walking away and leaving them to their exaggerated conversation, but as soon as he heard her name joined with the word "critical condition" and "hospital", he felt rooted to the spot.

"She failed the Chuunin prelims," the man said to his uncle, who looked solemn. He whispered something, and they both took swift glances toward Neji, who pretended not to notice. "She's in room 1C at the local hospital," the stranger said, raising his voice slightly. "A private ward. Only family members are allowed to visit, so I thought that Hyuga-sama should visit."

Not even turning his head, Neji could see his uncle reply that he'd was currently occupied and that Hinata should be allowed to rest for a while. The other man nodded, satisfied with the reply. Once that was said and done, both men walked off chatting casually about their bets on who would pass the exam the next week.

Neji didn't react to their conversation. At first. But after sitting in contemplation for a few minutes, utterly still, he got up. He made a tremendous leap onto a nearby tree and cleared the wall surrounding the garden easily. Once he landed onto the ground outside with cat-like ease, he calmly began walking away.

He learned later that the entire walk towards the hospital had been an unconscious effort. He didn't really remember thinking, but rather obliging peacefully with the commands of his legs, which seemed to grow minds of their own. His intense stare, looking neither sideways or back earned him a few stares, but other than that, his journey towards the secluded white building had been an uninterrupted one.

He didn't even remember ending up outside, looking into the window of room 1C—only that he was there and she was as well.

Neji immediately discovered that he didn't like the smell of the hospital. The window was wide open and he caught whiffs of the acetic, stringent smell of the medicines and cleansers. He wondered vaguely if Hinata was affected by it like he obviously was, but then figured that in her state, trivial things like smell wouldn't be one of the first things that she worried about.

He marveled at how thin and listless she looked. Even when sleeping normally, she wouldn't look like this. Not this pale. Not this still. Her shallow breathing was hard to detect even with his fine eyesight. He was especially perturbed by the way the tubes snaked their way around her, invading her skin with their gleaming needles. Everything about the way she laid on the bed unnerved him so much that he was surprised.

Without a second thought, his leg swung itself over the windowsill and he entered her room.

The first thing that he noticed ended up being a small pile of smoothly washed stones on the bedside table. He walked over, curious, then immediately frowned as he read the note carelessly placed by its side.

I found these by a stream where I was training with ero-sennin. I thought you'd might like it. They're really smooth, huh?
-Naruto

Neji's frown increased and he resisted the urge to tear the paper to shreds and toss the stones out the window. A loser with Hinata-sama? Neji scowled inwardly. But a pervasive voice in his head slyly asked why it mattered if Hinata-sama, a loser, would be with another loser. Out of sheer frustration, he knocked the rocks out of their stacked pile, causing them to clatter onto the linoleum floor with loud crackling bangs. He winced at the sound.

He was wondering idly if he should bother picking them up when a movement on the bed caught his attention. The girl began to open her eyes with all the strength of a newborn baby and even he was slightly perturbed by her slowness. But when she caught sight of him, her eyes widened quickly and she jumped, much to his annoyance.

"Neji-nii-san!" she exclaimed, trying to sit up. Unfortunately, the mass of tubes and needles impaired her movement, and she was forced to lay, if not uncomfortably, on the bed. She trembled slightly at his intense look.

Her fear annoyed him to no end; he gave her a reprimanding look. She nervously smiled back at him.

"W-Why is Neji-nii-san…?"

"Your father," he said curtly. Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth formed an "Oh!" of surprise. "He… he mentioned you were here."

Her eyes, the only mobile part of her at that moment, were alight with fear, something that he was used to seeing whenever he was around her. It had been a gradual thing, for when they were children, such barriers between them didn't exist. But after that day…

"Did Father need you to deliver something?" she ask cautiously. Neji could see, from the way her eyes darted to and fro, that having Neji stand while she laid on a bed was a strain for her, seeing as that she was so partial to strict and proper decorum. To solve this problem, she attempted to sit up again, only to further irritate the tubes.

"If you really feel that uncomfortable, I'll sit," he said roughly, almost angrily. He swung a chair towards the bed and slammed it down on the floor with a loud, reverberating bang and plopped down on it. The ringing seemed to accentuate the heavy silence, leaving both especially nervous.

From his position close to her bed, Neji, to his irritation, could easily depict the discolored bruises that ran along the length of her arm, each the size of his slender fingers. Something inside him stirred, and his look intensified until Hinata, unnerved by his look, hastily covered her arm with the thin sheet.

He didn't really know how to react to the situation. Somehow, he had ended up here, though he really didn't understand why or how. He assured himself that his hatred for Hinata was still there, yet he was here, sitting by her bedside, no matter how awkwardly. Neji reasoned that it some innate part of him still felt the need to serve someone of the Main family, but then he remembered that their relationship wasn't really based on that of a servant and master.

Then what is it that we have? he asked silently. The confusion left him feeling very agitated. The agitation apparently showed on his face, since he heard Hinata repeat meekly, "Neji-nii-san…"

"Is it wrong for me to visit?" Neji asked sharply. Hinata recoiled.

"N-no, it's just that…" she muttered. Her voice dropped below a whisper. "I thought you hated me."

The silence reigned.

"Hate?" Neji repeated, softly. He didn't look at her.

Hinata's voice grew a bit more confident. "I-I was always a burden to Neji-nii-san," she said. "I'm too w-weak. I'm always so…" she trailed off. Her eyes were a bit downcast and they hung down to the floor. Neji and Hinata didn't reply to one another until her eyes came upon the sight of the scattered stones that cracked and rolled on the floor.

"That—" she said, astonished.

"I don't hate you."

Hinata's eyes widened further.

Neji's arms slowly uncrossed and inched forward for his knees. He clutched them tightly. It seemed as if he were struggling with something, though Hinata could hardly comprehend what.

"You… don't?"

"I can't," he said quietly.

Hinata looked downcast. "Oh. Yes, I suppose if you hated me, you'd be considered h-hostile—"

"It's not that," Neji said, frustrated now. He still avoided her eyes. "It's not that…"

Hinata gave him a look that was a mixture of surprise and hope. "Neji-nii-san?"

He raised his head with much difficulty. "You're not a person one can readily hate," he said, struggling to meet her eyes.

They looked at each other. Neji was certain that she'd feel overwhelmed by the force of his look, but he soon discovered that the effect she had on him was much greater. The seconds felt like hours as she stared at him closely, her eyes roaming the features of his face, as if searching for something. A trace of deceit. Her uncharacteristic seriousness unnerved him.

Finally, she averted her gaze; Neji unconsciously let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for coming, Neji-nii-san," she replied softly, looking sincerely grateful. "I'll tell Father you stopped by like he asked you too, so you can go now—"

At this moment, Neji got up again. "I came by my own free will," he said.

"Your own…?" she repeated. This news was unexpected to her. She struggled to get up again. This time, Neji let out an exasperated huff and somewhat awkwardly pushed her down by the shoulders and attempted to still her movements.

"You won't heal that way if you keep on moving like this," he said gruffly. She stared at him with amazement while he avoided her look again. She was so entranced by his actions that a coughing fit came over her suddenly.

"Should've known it was too early to come," Neji muttered as he calmly went to a nearby sink for water. He handed a glass to her, and then made his way to the exit on the other side of the room. "I'm going to get a nurse," he said, facing determinedly at the door. "Do you still like apples?"

Hinata's coughing was muffled slightly by the calming fluid. "Y-Yes?" she replied, wiping a dribble of water from the edge of her lip. The question came as a surprise to her.

"Okay." With his back rigid, he walked out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

And when he came back, his face expressionless as a nurse followed him into the room, she found herself more pleased than surprised as a plate of thinly cut apple slices was thrust at her.