Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: VOY or the characters. This was written for pure fun.

Was horsing around and thought a dialogue fic would be fun to mess around with. First ST:VOY fic. Tear it apart, please. Ending seems rushed, I guess it is. Anyway, I'm mostly looking for canonisation (I tried to leave out as much brit-speak as I could lol!). How'd I fair?

"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

'Mr... Mr Paris? Mr—Tom?'

'Nnng.'

'Tom, I— Oh! What was—who's there? Don't come any closer, I'm armed!'

'Neelix?'

'Ahh! Oh, oh my! Tom, you're alive!'

'Yeah, I'm fine. A little bruised up but nothing the Doc can't fix I'm sure.'

'Where are you?'

'Over here. You have a phaser?'

'Oh... no. Sorry. I was bluffing. Where's "here"?'

'Damn. Over here.'

'Oof! Sorry.'

'Ughh. No harm done...'

'Are you sure you're all right? You were quiet for an awfully long time.'

'Yeah. I must've hit my head and blacked out. Why is it so dark? Where are we?'

'Well, ah, to...to tell you the truth, I don't know. Some sort of holding cell, I guess. I haven't heard any other prisoners, though... Why uh... Why do you suppose that is?'

'Let's hope it's because we're the only ones down here.'

'I sure hope so.'

'Did you already feel around? Try to find a way out?'

'Uh... No, I uh, well. No.'

'... You mean to tell me you've just been standing around this whole time?'

'I can't see a thing!'

'So? Feel around, use your hands.'

'Well I didn't want to get separated.'

'Come on. We've gotta find a way outta here.'

'Tom, wait!'

'Neelix, let go of my arm.'

'But... What if one of us falls into a—a hole or something?'

'"A hole"?'

'We don't know where we are. There could be a drop off just a few feet away for all we know!'

'Which is why we need to feel around, make a mental map of the place.'

'This just doesn't feel right.'

'We can't just sit here, we don't even know if there's a rescue team even looking for us yet.'

'Still, I think we should stay put.'

'Neelix!'

'Oh, fine! Let's go.'

'Neelix?'

'Yes?'

'Let go of my arm.'

'Sorry.'

* * *

'What now?'

'I guess we wait.'

'What do you mean, "wait"? Aren't you going to come up with a... a plan or something?'

'A plan for what? We've got four walls, a ceiling and a floor—and that's just a guess. Unless you're about to tell me Talaxians can walk through walls, I'd say we're out of options.'

'Doesn't Starfleet have a-a-a, I don't know, a procedure for situations like this?'

'Not really.'

'So that's it, then? We just wait to die?'

'We aren't going to die. Six down, relax.'

'I can't relax. I have to get out of here. I-I-I need to—Hello? There's been a terrible mistake!'

'Neelix!'

'You've got the wrong person!'

'Neelix calm down!'

'Sorry. I'm s-sorry. You're right. I just.. Get a little.. Uncomfortable in the dark.'

'You're afraid of the dark?'

'...Not afraid. I just don't enjoy it, is all.'

'I don't either.'

'Really now? I didn't take you for someone who disliked the dark. In fact, I didn't think much of anything bothered you. Huh. This is nice. I feel like we're really connecting, Tom!'

'Fantastic.'

* * *

'We could play a game?'

'I don't think so.'

'We could... Oh, what about a song?'

'I'll pass.'

'Well then what do you suggest we talk about?'

'Sailing?'

'What about it?'

'Have you ever done it?'

'As a matter of fact I haven't. Our sector didn't have the luxury of much water.'

'You'd like it. It's really relaxing.'

'Hmm I'll bet.'

'You know I almost joined the Naval Patrol?'

'Why didn't you?'

'My father didn't like the idea of it.'

'That's too bad.'

'Yeah, it is.'

'Do you regret not joining?'

'Sometimes. Not often, though. Whatever way you want to look at it, I got a chance to start over, here—Heh. Even if I was hurled clear across the galaxy... You want to know the weird thing? Sometimes I actually miss my father.'

'I'm sorry. I miss my father, too.'

'When was the last time you saw him?'

'Oh, years ago... He was killed, along with the rest of my family.'

'That's... terrible, Neelix, I'm sorry.'

'It was terrible. The Haakonians were at war with the Talaxians, and to avoid serving, I left to Talax. I just didn't think there could be anything solved by fighting. While I was on Talax, the Haakonians unleashed a metreon cascade on Rinax... My entire family was obliterated, along with 300,000 others. I always hope that someone else made it, and that maybe some day I'll bump into them.'

'I hope it happens, too.'

'It would be nice, but I don't keep my hopes as high as I used to.'

'It must've been really hard, losing your family like that.'

'It was hard. It still is hard. I don't think it'll ever stop hurting.'

'I'm sorry.'

'It's not your fault. Besides, I have a new family now, on Voyager.'

* * *

'...Alixia and I would hunt these artic spiders when we were younger. Nasty creatures, some the size of your hand.'

'Neelix!'

'Sorry, is the topic disturbing you?'

'You're talking about giant spiders while we're in the pitch dark. This doesn't bother you?'

'Well, I guess I didn't think about it. I just get so caught up in my stories sometimes that I forget where I am. Now that you mention it, though... my arms do feel a little prickly. Ahh!'

'What? What is it?'

'Nothing! I thought I felt—Nothing.'

'See? I knew it! Now you've got me doing it. Ughh. Good going.'

'How long do these rescue missions usually take?'

'Anywhere from a couple of hours to a couple days I guess. Neither one of us has our comm. badge, so…'

'Days?'

'No good?'

'Days?!'

'What happened to your sense of humour?'

'Sense of—Sense of humour?!'

'Relax, I'm joking. We'll be out of here before you know it. Do you always panic like this when stranded somewhere?'

'I wouldn't know. Most times I'm smart enough not to leave the ship.'

'Hah!'

'I knew something didn't feel right about this. I knew I shouldn't have left the ship, but no, I didn't listen.'

'Oh, relax, would ya?'

'I can't.'

'Then at least try to get some sleep.'

'I don't think I can sleep. It's too dark.'

'It's the same level of darkness with or without your eyes being shut, why does it matter?'

'I'd feel better if I stayed awake.'

'Suit yourself. Night.'

'Goodnight.'

* * *

'Mmmn... Whassat?'

'Oh, you're awake. It's an old Talaxian song my mother used to sing to me. Would you like me to teach it to you?'

'Mmnn... Some other time. Anything?'

'No.'

'How long was I asleep?'

'Truthfully I lost track of time.'

'Get any sleep?'

'No, but all this sitting around is making me restless.'

'Go take a walk?'

'And get lost? No thank you.'

'Just a suggestion.'

'And a horrible one at that. Have any interesting dreams?'

'Yeah... About that one place you made the holodeck program of. The one you were telling me and Harry about.'

'Paxau Resort?'

'Yeah, that was it.'

'Oh, right. That was fun, wasn't it? Wonderful place.'

'I sure could use one of those Talaxian massages right about now.... I was thinking more along the lines of the Talaxian girl in the program, but thanks.'

'Oh. Sorry. Yes, yes I'd nearly forgotten about her. She gives the most relaxing foot massages!'

'Ech.'

'Anyway, Paxau—The real Paxau—is a great place. Of course... I've never been, but I've heard stories. You're practically treated like royalty! Delicious food. Jimbalian fudge cake, sweet leola root tart, and oh! Darvot fritters? I don't think I've served them to the crew before. Anyway, nothing tops my Laurelian pudding. It's—'

'Stick to the story, would you?'

* * *

'Just look at me, I've just gone on and on for hours. I just get so caught up. Anyway, tell me something about yourself?'

'Well... My fathers an admiral. I discovered a love for piloting when I was pretty young. It's a great feeling, piloting a ship. I think I gave up on it, though, probably something to do with my father. When I was younger I did everything I could think of to make him happy. I thought maybe he'd love me more or something. But... Then I got a little older and started doing things just to spite him. That's probably one of the main reasons I wanted to join Naval Patrol.'

'I see...'

'And well, I guess I thought Starfleet was the only way he'd ever really be proud of me. So I buckled down and put my time in. Graduated, and was assigned to the USS Exeter. First thing I did was kill three officers due to a piloting error.'

'Ah... I remember... vaguely hearing about this some time ago. That must have been terrible.'

'Yeah, it was.'

...

'Well this is depressing. What's your best memory from your childhood?'

'I must've been eight or nine, and my dad took me for a trip in an S-Class shuttlecraft. I spent the entire time asking question after question. I think I drove him nuts. But I had a really good time.'

'That sounds nice! So... What about the Marquis? What made you decide to join?'

'Well, there's not much to tell. Starfleet wouldn't have me after what I did. I couldn't even keep myself out of trouble in the Marquis; captured on my first mission.'

'Oh, I... see. That's where you met Tuvok, right?'

'Yeah.'

'Didn't he seem a little.. Well, you know, heheh, off?'

'You mean, did we suspect he was Starfleet? Nah. I didn't, anyway. Chakotay... I'm sure he wasn't happy when he found out I'd been captured. I didn't even get to see his face before they shipped me off to a Penal Settlement.'

'You two didn't always get along huh?'

'Like cats and dogs.'

'Ah. I was never "captured" so to speak, but Wixiban—my old partner—he served a lengthy prison sentence.'

'So you were never caught? Not once?'

'I was just lucky, I guess. After I lost touch with Lexath—Well, I bought my own cargo ship, the one that's in the shuffle bay, and decided to work alone. I was tired of being used and baited.'

'What's the name of your ship again?'

'The Baxial. You should take her out sometime. She isn't much to look at, but boy is she amazing.'

'Maybe I'll take you up on that offer sometime.'

'If we ever make it out of here.'

'We will.'

'Wait! Listen!'

'What?'

'Shh! Did you hear that?'

'I don't hear anything.'

'I... I could have sworn I heard something.'

'You probably just imagined it.'

'...Maybe you're right.'

'There's nothing down here.'

'How do you know? Can you see in the dark? Because I sure can't.'

'No.'

'Then how do you know?'

'Because if there was something down here, we'd of been found hours ago.'

'Oh come now.'

'Anyway, about that—'

'Shh!'

'What? What is it? There's nothing there!'

'You don't know that!'

'Just forget it. We were having a nice talk, I don't want to fight.'

'Fighting, who's fighting? I'm not fighting.'

'Good.'

'It is good.'

* * *

'Neelix, you still upset?'

'I was never "upset".'

'Come on, cut it out.'

'Hmph.'

'Aw, come on. We could be down here for days. You can't not talk to me for that long.'

'I'll manage.'

'You couldn't keep quiet that long for all the Leola root in the universe.'

'Wanna make that a bet?'

'No not really.'

'A-ha! You were getting lonely, weren't you? Admit it!'

'What? No. I just—It would be nice to—Uh...'

'Admit it!'

'Stop doing that!'

'Do what? What am I doing?'

'Never mind.'

'No, tell me!'

'Look, can I make a suggestion?'

'Go ahead, lieutenant.'

'Can we just... stop fighting for a couple minutes?'

'Who's fighting? Me? I'm not fighting. I was just having a nice conversation.'

'Then why are we yelling at each other?'

'I don't know!'

...

'Silence it is.'

'...I knew you've never really cared for me.'

'Oh, come on!'

'—Ever since that argument we had about Kes.'

'That argument about... What? That was ages ago! I thought we put that behind us.'

'I thought that maybe this would be a good opportunity to get to know one another better.'

'What are you talking about? I thought we were getting along fine.'

'I just thought perhaps...I know you and Tuvok, don't really care for me, but I thought I could make you like me if we just talked a little. You and Mr Kim are such good friends.'

'What? You and I are friends. At least I thought we were.'

'You... You really mean that?'

'Well, yeah. We've been through a lot together. And as for Tuvok—what were you expecting, for him to open up his arms and embrace you?'

'Well, no, but a smile isn't too much to ask for is it?'

'He's Vulcan, Neelix.'

'I guess you're right.'

'Look, I'm sorry if I was being a jerk earlier, I just... when you were talking about your cargo ship, it reminded me of something that happened in the holo-deck with B'Elanna. We haven't been getting along too great lately.'

'I'm sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?'

'I doubt it, but thanks anyway. And don't go asking her when we get back to Voyager. That's all I need.'

'I won't. For curiosities sake, however, is there anything in particular you find... annoying, about me? Be honest.'

'Well... The life story of my breakfast's getting a little stale.'

'Noted! Is that all?'

'How about no more better-than-the-original substitutes?'

'You got it! Humm. Now that that's out of the way, what would you like to talk about? We could still play that game!'

'I'll... pass.'

'How about a riddle, then?'

'Maybe later.'

'Not a fan of riddles, hm?'

* * *

'What was that?'

'It would appear to be my stomach.'

'That Leola rice pilaf sounds pretty good right about now.'

'That it does. Hmm, I wonder if anyone's had the decent mind to put my vegetables away.'

'Vegetables? You're worried about vegetables?'

'I'm the ships cook, why wouldn't I be worried about them?'

'It just seems like we've got bigger—'

'Shh! Did you hear that?'

'Neelix, not again!'

'No, listen. Did you hear it?'

'Wait, I do hear it. It sounds like...'

"Tom, Neelix, can you hear me?"

'Chakotay!'

'Commander!'

"Are you two all right?"

'Oh, thank heavens.'

'Fine, Chakotay. Can you get us out of here?'

"I'm going to have my men try to blast through. Stand back."

'See? That wasn't so bad, was it? All we had to do was wait. Watch out.'

'Easy for you to say. Commander, how did you find us?'

"We found residue from your shuttle craft leading down to the planet. We tried to beam you out but we couldn't find you— there was a dampening field around this whole complex. What happened? We weren't told very much."

'We were attacked, sir! And not treated very well, I might add.'

"I can imagine."

'They thought Neelix was a thief. We told them we had to land on the planet's surface, and all hell broke loose.'

'They thought I was Laxeth! Can you imagine? Apparently he scammed them out of a number of things the last time he was here.'

"These people have been under attack for a few years now. If I were them I'd be a little wary, too. Let's get you two back to the ship. Do either of you need to see the Doctor?"

'Tom might..'

"Let's get you two back to the ship, then."

'Wait, Tom? Could I have a word with you?'

'Sure, Neelix. What's up?'

'I'm sorry about the way I acted back there. You were right; I shouldn't of brought up an old argument just because I was scared.'

'To be fair, I was being kind of a jerk, too.'

'Not as big of a jerk as I was.'

'Well, you can make it up to me by running that Holo-resort program when we get back to the ship, and making me some of that pudding you were talking about.'

'I'd be delighted!'