Arthur Dent stared into the bottom of his empty tea mug. This pub was supposed to have everything, but it certainly didn't have a decent cup of tea. In all his years of searching, he had yet to find a place in the universe that made tea the way he'd had it in Guildford. He sighed.
A man entered the bar, and took the stool next to Arthur, the only available seating space in the establishment. Arthur looked the man up and down. What was most surprising was the fact that this person looked human, which was something Arthur hadn't seen in…at least a month. Upon first glance the man looked absolutely normal, though his ears and nose did appear a bit large. He wore a black leather jacket and jeans. In fact, had they been anywhere else but The Gamblefroozer's Tentacles on Rigel Four, Arthur wouldn't have taken this fellow for strange at all. But since this was an intergalactic pub, Arthur knew he couldn't take anything for granted. Besides, Ford had looked human, and had even been mistaken for human for about ten years before he revealed to Arthur that he was, in fact, from a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse. Zaphod had even appeared normal-looking until he had whipped out his second head.
"I'll have a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, please," the man told the six-eyed, five-armed bartender, who was serving two other customers in addition to attending to the new arrival.
"Right you are, sir," he said, and swiveled his arms around to the cocktail shaker.
"That drink's a little too strong for most humans," Arthur commented experimentally.
"Yeah, well, I'm not a human, so that takes care of that," the man replied. I knew it, thought Arthur.
"What are you then?" Arthur asked.
"I'm a Timelord," the man informed him.
"Huh. Haven't met one of them yet," Arthur said.
"I wouldn't expect so. I'm the last of my race."
"Ah. Well, isn't that an odd coincidence. There's only two left of my race. Or at least, there were. Not anymore. It's all a bit complicated, actually." Arthur wished he had more tea.
"Oh, right. The hyperspace bypass. What a mess, huh?" the man commented as the bartender handed him his drink. He downed the cocktail in one go, giving a shudder as the viciously strong alcohol took hold.
"Yeah. Right. It was a good thing they had a backup," Arthur said.
The man nodded in agreement, then frowned. "Wait a minute…If you're human…How did you get out of there before everything went up?"
"I had a friend. I thought he was human, but it turns out he was actually a roving researcher for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Before I got beamed up, there was a girl I knew who got picked up by the President of the Galaxy at a party."
"Well, isn't that a story?" the man laughed. "So you and your friend caught a ride with Zaphod Beeblebrox?"
"Eventually, yeah," Arthur said. He was beginning to enjoy this. "The first ride we caught off of earth was actually on one of the Vogon Constructor Fleets."
The man's eyes went wide. "Fantastic! I mean…not really, but…wow! Of all the rides you could have gotten."
"It wasn't the best experience," Arthur agreed, "We got found out, so they read us some poetry and kicked us out into space. Zaphod's ship picked us up just in time. One second more and our lungs probably would have exploded. I'm not sure how they found us. The ship had an infinite improbability drive, but I'm still not entirely certain how it works."
"Fantastic. You humans never cease to amaze me. Just when I think I've got you lot all figured out, I meet someone like you and everything changes."
"Have you met many humans, then?"
"You might say that, yeah. I'm something of a time-and-space traveler."
"Really? Well, that sounds interesting. You met anyone famous?"
"The odd historical figure or two. I got to have lunch with Marie Antoinette once."
"Really?" Arthur looked at the man in fascination. "What did you eat?"
"Cake," his companion replied. Arthur laughed.
"Did you really?"
"Yep."
"Huh." He laughed again. "I wish I could say that much. I did meet a writer in a pub in Demark one time. He was from London, a hitchhiker. We ended up getting really drunk, and I told him all about what happened to me. I thought he'd call the men in white coats for a moment, but he didn't. He told me he thought it would make a great radio story. Told me he wanted to put it on the air. You know, like War of the Worlds. I think his name was Adams. Odd looking bloke. All nose and knees and elbows."
"Huh. Well, that's certainly something. Y'know, I'm actually headed to Earth myself. Would you like to catch a ride?"
"Oh, that'd be great," Arthur sighed in relief. "I haven't had a decent cup of tea in God knows how long. Thanks very much!"
"No problem at all." The two men got up and made their way to the door. "Incidentally, I don't think you ever told me your name."
"Of course! Silly me. I'm Arthur Dent."
"Good to meet you Arthur." The man took Arthur's hand and shook it. "I'm the Doctor."
"Doctor who?" Arthur asked. The Doctor chuckled.
"Just The Doctor."
"Huh. That's a funny sort of name," Arthur mused as the door closed behind them.