I don't know what father was thinking when he gave me this diary. I mean, what sort of stuff am I supposed to put in this thing? I suppose it can't be all bad; least I'll have a place to vent. That and father won't be able to read it, seeing as I type in braille. I suppose I should start with who I am. Dear Diary (god that sounds like I'm nine) Scratch that. My name is Audrey. Audrey Grace Watson to be exact. 17 years old, brown hair, black sunglasses, and a wonderful grasp of sarcasm. Oh and I'm blind. Suppose I should mention that. I used to be able to see before The Accident. Now my world is a black void. The Accident. Guess I should tell you what that is too Oh Dear Wonderful Diary.
The Accident occurred when I was 12 years old. At the time I was in what, sixth grade? Anyhow my father was a professor of chemistry at the local college. I was exactly where I wasn't supposed to be at the time, one of the big fancy labs with all the big nasty chemicals; I thought it would be fun to pretend I was dad, making neon weird-smelling concoctions, and I ended up playing with stuff that no 12 year old should be able to get their hands on. I was on a stool, reaching into one of the cupboards for this bottle, which wasn't closed properly closed. Long story short, some nasty stuff called Hydrochloric acid got in my eyes and on my face, and let me tell you, that stuff burns. LITERALLY. I was in so much pain I had no idea what to do. I can remember screaming at the top of my lungs and then finally passing out. Someone must have heard me screaming and got me to the emergency room while I was out. The next thing I remember, I woke up with my vision filled with black. I didn't just lose my sight too; I lost my eyes along with it. Now I have these empty scabbed sockets where my eyes used to be. Kinda freaky looking I guess.
After The Accident father and I became kind of distant. He blamed himself for what happened to me, and also forbade me from stepping foot into any kind of chemistry lab ever again. That I have no problem with. We moved around for a while, father trying to find jobs where ever he could (I mean who'd want to hire you after your own kid lost their sight in your classroom?). Finally he got a job just last year at this prestigious university in Germany. I'd just graduated from high school, and was going to attend Boston University, but father would hear nothing of it. See he's gotten very overprotective since The Accident, and now he's forcing me to attend the University of Freiburg, the same school he would be teaching at. I'll admit it, it was a really good school and I was lucky to get in, but I just didn't want to go. I mean, who wants to still be living with their dad when they're at college? You're supposed to go out on your own, "see" the world (Oh the irony). That and I don't speak German, nor do I know how to read German in braille. I'm the independent type and I hate having to rely on others to be my eyes, read to me show me around, that sort of stuff. *sigh* This is going to be a loooooong year.
I finished typing and stuffed the first page into my new diary. Today had been exhausting. Father and I had flown over to our new home just two days ago. Now almost everything was unpacked and in its rightful place in the house. I unfolded my cane and tapped my way down the stairs, and out the back door to the patio. I had yet to memorize the layout of home, but soon I would know exactly where everything was and wouldn't need my cane to navigate. Our new home was a small secluded place at the edge of the Black Forest. Outside the air smelled like pine sap, heating up in the sun. There were even a few birds chirping. Father was out, registering me for my classes. He didn't even think me capable enough to go and do it myself (gives you a clue on how great our relationship is with each other). I had been told not to leave the house because heaven forbid I get lost in my own backyard. What was I, twelve and newly blind? I need to stretch my legs, and I wanted to explore the forest I could hear calling from my bedroom window. I whistled for my dog, Rusty.
Rusty is a big St. Bernard, and my seeing eye dog. He was assigned to me when I was thirteen, and we've been best buddies since. I heard his heavy pawsteps as he bounded up to me. "Who's a good boy?" I asked as I ruffled his fur. Rusty licked me in response. "Let's go exploring. Sounds like fun, Right boy?" I started walking into the woods, cane in one hand and Rusty's harness in the other.
After we'd been walking for a while, I noticed that the bird song had all stopped. That wasn't right. A minute ago the woods had been alive with noise. "Maybe it's time to turn around, huh Rusty? Point home, boy." I said. Rusty obligingly turned around and we started walking back. I got the feeling that someone or something was watching us. It was there, like an itch between my shoulder blades. I turned my head around desperate for noise, a sign that I wasn't alone. "Hello?" I called. "Anyone there?" Silence. Suddenly I felt Rusty tug on his harness. "Rusty? What are yo-" Rusty yanked hard and I fell forward, landing on my chest. All the air in my lungs came out in a sudden WHOOSH! Momentarily stunned, I heard Rusty barking in front of me. Strange. Rusty never, never barked and he was always gentle with me. This was a first. I struggled to my knees and felt the ground around me for my cane. Shit. It wasn't there. A buzzing sound was slowly filling my ears. I felt a breeze of fur move past me. It was Rusty! He was pressed against me, whimpering. What the hell was going on?
"Who is there?! I'm sorry if my dog Rusty startled you. He normally doesn't behave like this." The static noise was getting louder. Rusty gave one last whimper and ran off, crashing through the woods. "Seriously though, could you help me find my cane? It got lost when Rusty knocked me over." The static stopped. Then a voice, deep and whispery as the wind answered me:
"You cannot see me?"
My annoyance skyrocketed. I got to my feet with my hands on my hips. "No I can't see you, you moron, I'm blind! I thought the obvious white cane, not to mention the sunglasses AND the seeing-eye dog would give it away! No wait, I just go around dressing up as a blind person for fun! Idiot." I knelt back down and continued my search for the cane. Hopefully it hadn't gone too far when I fell.
Then the voice spoke again, "You are blind?"
A tired sigh escaped me. "Yes" I answered, thoroughly peeved. Where was my damn cane?
"Here" Someone gently took my hand and closed my fingers around something. My cane! Strange though, I hadn't even heard him (I assume it was a he) move towards me.
"Thanks. I'd be lost without this thing." I sighed again "I apologize for yelling at you. Guess my temper's a bit shorter than normal today." Silence again. "This may sound odd, but could you please help me find my way back? My guide ran off without me."
The voice answered, "I suppose I could do that."
I stood there waiting. "You're going to have to lead me. I can't see, remember?" I felt a large hand, soft and warm grasp my wrist. Whoever it was took as step forward, and I followed. Amazing. His footsteps were the quietest I've ever heard.
"Why were you out here all on your own? You are not a native of this area, are you?" he asked me.
"No I am not. My father and I moved out here a few days ago. As for why I was out here, long story short, my father said I was to stay in the house while he was gone. And I don't like being treated like a helpless child." I shrugged.
"You look rather young to me."
"Pfft. I'm a college student and I'll be eighteen in a few weeks! Just cause I'm blind doesn't mean I'm helpless." I snorted.
"Forgive me for asking, but what is it like? Being blind."
I was quiet for a bit. What was it like being blind? It hurt. I couldn't see colors anymore. Couldn't look at art, the faces of my friends. I had to rely on others to tell me what was going on. I faced confusion everyday trying to sort out all the noises around me. "It is…not easy." I answered. "I have to rely on those around me to determine my surroundings, to find my way. The fact that I was once able to see makes blindness even worse." I paused. "But, being blind does have its upsides too. My hearing is really good. I could identify all of my friends by their voice, or even their footsteps. I play the piano and the French horn and I have almost every piece I've ever played memorized. So I guess it isn't all bad. Just frustrating sometimes." My companion was silent. I wonder what was going through his head just now.
"Being blind does not sound easy. You are strong to have survived like this." He finally answered. Survived? That was a weird way to put living but whatever. "I believe we have reached your house." Wow. That was fast. It had taken me way longer to walk out into the woods. Perhaps my perception was skewed.
"Is it red brick with ivy growing around it?" I ask, just to be sure.
"I thought you could not see."
"Father described it to me in case I got lost." I shrugged. "Thanks helping me find my way back. Will we be bumping into each other again?" I ask with a smile.
"Perhaps." And just like that he was gone. No footsteps, but I no longer sensed anyone around me. No feeling of being watched. Odd. But I thought no more of it, and stepped inside to be greeted by Rusty's sniffing nose.