I'll finish one of my full length fics…someday.

Summary: School is one of the least pleasant places for Tsuna to be. So the natural thing to do would be to skip. Unfortunately, he goes to the same school as one Hibari Kyoya who would never allow such a thing on his watch. Tsuna must push his pitiful brain and body beyond their limits if he ever wants to escape. Features a not-so-dame-Dame-Tsuna, a seriously playful Hibari Kyoya, the longest game of tag ever, and possibly the road to becoming top-notch ninjas…if they were in the Naruto world.

No pairings but some one-sided bits happen. Can be seen as 1827 pre-slash or bromance though. Some chapters may be short, some may be long, it all depends on my mood. The first few chapters are heavy in OCs-Tsuna interaction and afterwards this fic will move to more Hibari-Tsuna interaction. There may or may not eventually be a separate fic for side stories where their friendship becomes more.

Tsuna never gets sealed here so he eventually learns how to use his flames by himself. As he has no teacher beyond his imagination and necessity, things that probably shouldn't be possible become possible. Also known as the author taking creative liberties with anime powers.

Warnings: OOC, A bunch of OCs, Somewhat Graphic Deaths and Violence, Mild Shotacon hints, Inaccurate Usage of Flames, Calling Your Attacks, Crappy Parenting

Chapter 1: Useless-Tsuna

When Tsuna was four, his parents had promised that (pre)school would be amazing. He would make all sorts of friends and have lots of people to play with and eat delicious food and have lots of people to brag to about awesome his parents were and that everyone would love him because of how adorable he was. He would have so much fun that he would forget about the fact that his parents were essentially abandoning him with total strangers for a third of the day.

When Tsuna was five and in kindergarten and that still didn't happen, he was told to have patience and that it would happen 'soon'. So Tsuna had patience and waited. There was one boy name Yamamoto Takeshi who had smiled and talked to him for a couple days. Then he was swept away by the other kids because he could reach higher and throw farther and run faster and Tsuna was left alone again. Tsuna had patience though. So he waited and waited and waited.

When Tsuna was six and everyone else could count past fifty and Tsuna could only make it to twenty-seven, they laughed at him. When it was Tsuna's job to bring his group table's box of crayons to the back for his teacher to put away, it slipped from his tiny hands and became a splash of colors across the white tiles. His classmates laughed again as his teacher sighed. When they had to run laps around the playground for P.E., Tsuna tripped over his untied shoelaces, and everyone just kept laughing as they ran past. Well, not everyone. Yamamoto Takeshi ran by, not laughing at all. But he didn't stop to help Tsuna back up. No one else did either and the only thing Tsuna noticed was that he was still lonely in a place where he had been promised that he wouldn't be.

"Mama? When will somebody want to be my friend?

"Soon, Tsu-kun. Soon. Have patience."

"Tou-san? When are you coming home?"

"Soon, Tuna-fish, soon. Be patient. Papa's very busy."

When Tsuna was seven, Parent's Day came and Tou-san wasn't there despite his promise. Mama wasn't either, because there was a big sale at the supermarket that she absolutely could not miss but Tou-san was supposed to be there. There was laughter for Useless-Tsuna's no-show dad who was probably just as useless as him. There was another round of laughter for Useless-Tsuna who was so useless that even his own parents didn't want to be seen with him.

Tou-san was home sleeping on the couch in his underwear. He only woke up after Tsuna got home, but got up and dressed just in time for Nana to do so. Tsuna guessed that it was true. His dad really was useless. Nana didn't even ask how Tsuna's day went like she usually did. His parents were far too wrapped up in each other to notice that Tsuna went to bed early.

That day, the laughter and his useless dad and his no show mom had brought about the moniker Useless-Tsuna.

"Sawada-san. Your son is…well, I think he's just a late bloomer, but he seems to be having trouble keeping up with the other students. I've been trying to have at least two entire days of review for each lesson every week, but he just doesn't seem to be able to retain anything for long and I can't keep holding back the rest of the class. He also doesn't seem to get along with anyone else so there isn't anyone to help him either. It's not that he's a bad kid. He's just a bit shy and…"

He really shouldn't be hiding and listening like this. He should have been inside for this parent-teacher meeting, but he had had to use the restroom and apparently they had started without him.

"Oh…" The weight of his mother's disappointment was obvious in that single tone. "Sensei. Thank you for doing your best to put up with my useless son. I know you are a busy…"

Outside the classroom door, Tsuna kept his head up to keep the tears that prickled at the edges of his eyes from running down his cheeks.

One day his patience finally ran out. The other kids had laughed at him, had taken his lunch, had laughed some more, and in the end, had left him alone once they had gotten what they wanted. He could never turn down a request and if they asked he would give all that he had for nothing. Obviously, his teachers didn't care as they never did anything to stop it even when it happened right in front of them.

It'd be easier to eat by himself somewhere else. At least he'd have food if he did. He had some money his mother had given him in case his bento wasn't enough to fill him up. Turns out she could pretty smart every now and then but sadly, Tsuna felt that she must have not passed down any of it to him and he had only gotten her looks. His uselessness obviously came from his dad.

He still had half the school day left though…the rumble of his stomach reminded him that he was still hungry and that the rest of the day wasn't likely to be any more pleasant than usual.

So he walked out the school's front gates in broad daylight and around a block until he found an out of the way convenience store. The pimply faced teen behind the register quirked an eyebrow and asked him "Shouldn't you be in school?"

Tsuna stared back wide-eyed. He hadn't thought everything out and now he would get in trouble for skipping wouldn't he? Then his stomach growled again and Tsuna down looked at it. The pimply-faced teen looked down at it too and shrugged.

"Whatever. Not like I can say anything about that." Then he rang up the convenience store bento and carton of apple juice. Tsuna paid, got his change back and as he was about to leave, the clerk called out. "Enjoy your lunch kid." It wasn't loud and it sounded bored and uncaring as if he said it to everyone every day only because he was forced to, but the sentiment was there and Tsuna felt a bit better about the whole skipping thing.

The day was pleasantly warm with a cool wind that ruffled his hair and forewarned of the approaching autumn. Bright green leaves and colorful flowers were everywhere. Birds twittered and fluttered and wheeled in the sky and a squirrel dashed by under his swinging feet. Even though he was still lonely, Tsuna still felt a lot better sitting by himself in an empty bench in a mostly empty park. There wasn't a crowd of noisy classmates to remind him of how lonely he was. No adult gave him a second glance, assuming the tiny boy was just the child of one gossiping mother or another and he was free to watch the world go by at his leisure.

With a full belly and the taste of apple juice lingering on his tongue, Tsuna leaned back on the sun-warmed slats and thought.

'I could get used to this.'

He began to skip more and more often over the coming days, leaving unnoticed at lunch and returning later and later.

He had been yelled at and reprimanded by his teacher and more laughter came, but it wasn't enough to dissuade him from continuing.

The pimply-faced teen wasn't quite so pimply-faced anymore and his name was Hara Yuki. He was still behind the counter though and every time Tsuna bought something, he would say "Enjoy your lunch kid."

Tsuna began to reply with "Thank you very much. I will."

"Tsu-kun! Why have you been leaving school?"

It seemed his truancy had finally caught up to him. Honestly, the fact that it had taken at least two weeks before anyone had noticed was something that truly hammered in just how much anyone actually cared when you were considered useless. He hadn't even been caught. Some of his classmates had been annoyed at not being able to find him for their usual games of taunting and laughing at the most useless person in Namimori Elementary and had lied to the teacher that he was actually skipping. Only, he really was so it probably wasn't exactly a lie except for the fact that said classmates had never actually realized that he was leaving at all.

"You're already bad enough at your work as it is. Why are you doing such a thing when you're the one who needs to be there the most?!"

You useless boy went unsaid, but the words still rang in his ears and head over and over in Nana's disappointed and now angry tone. Useless son.

"I left to get lunch."

Useless boy. Useless son. Useless-Tsuna.

"I pack you a full bento every day and even give you extra lunch money…"

Her scolding words washed over him and as her lecture wound down, so too did the rest of his appetite. So he settled for pushing around what was left on his dinner plate.

Useless, useless, useless.

"I'll make you more food, but until you show a little more responsibility, I'm not giving you any more money."

Tsuna thought about complaining, about telling her the truth, but was unable to speak past the lump in his throat. Instead, he kept quiet, put his dishes in the sink and went back to his room where he buried his face into his pillow.

Useless.

In the end she made twice as much food and packed it into two stacked bentos. He didn't get a single bite and though he had no money, his feet carried him back through the automatic doors of the convenience store.

"Hey! Brat! Shouldn't you be in school?"

Hara-san wasn't there though and Tsuna felt himself freezing in panic. Behind the counter was a woman who was nowhere near as pimply-faced as Hara Yuki. Her blood red nails flashed like a warning and Tsuna slowly backed away.

"Geez. What's this town coming to when kids as young as you are cutting class? You'll never be anything except a useless bum if you keep going like this. Now where are you from? I'm going to call and-Hey! Come back here when I'm…"

Tsuna had already fled, heart pounding and legs pounding as if a pack of Chihuahuas was after him. He didn't go far, less than a block actually. He was in the side alley next to the store, crouching behind a few trash cans, but he didn't really have to bother. The woman never actually left her place behind the counter, instead settling down with a grumble to return to her muscle magazine hidden under the counter.

Tsuna did find Hara-san though and simply stared up at the other, not realizing how pitiful he looked.

A long drag, a cloudy funnel of smoke carefully aimed away from the little boy, and Hara-san looked down at Tsuna.

"Hey kid."

"Hel-hello Hara-san."

Staring was rude, but he couldn't help it. He didn't know that Hara-san smoked and the smell made him wrinkle his nose although he tried to hide it.

"Here for lunch?"

"I…yeah." Tsuna kept his eyes on the dirty concrete beneath his feet. Judging from the black smudge half hidden under the tip of his left shoe, he was stepping in old gum that had long since been coated in grime. His belly grumbled and Tsuna was reminded of how badly his day seemed to be going. Everything from being late enough to miss breakfast, to the failed pop quiz, to the incomplete homework, to the returned (failed) test, to his lunch being taken, to the lack of money to get more. The fact that an unpleasant stranger was at Hara-san's place was just one more thing on the list of the day's wrongs.

There was a sigh and Tsuna saw Hara-san walking past him, grinding his cigarette butt into the brick wall as he left the alley.

Tsuna crouched down, hugging his knees as he buried his face into them. His backpack strapped to his shoulders was a reminder that leaving it behind would have unpleasant consequences. The huge cockroach someone had snuck in a few weeks ago was an especially memorable one. There had been much laughter from everyone at his screams then.

So lost in his miserable memories, he didn't realize that Hara-san had returned until he felt a weight gently plop on top of his head.

"Here."

The weight was sliding off now and Tsuna scrambled to catch it. The teal logo of the store was printed along the side of the white plastic bag which rustled in his arms as he tried to adjust to keep its contents from spilling out.

"Wh-what is it?"

"Your lunch."

"But I don't…don't have any money."

"It's fine."

"But-But-But-"

An aggravated sigh had Tsuna shrinking back and Hara-san dragged his hand through his dark shaggy hair.

"It's fine kid. Look. You can pay me back later or something."

"I…my mom's not giving me any more money. 'Cause she found out I wasn't staying in school."

"…"

"I-I can still pay you back though!" Tsuna scrambled to reassure the teen. "I-I have some money saved u-up and-and I can bring it tomor-" He cut himself off as he remembered the woman who had taken Hara-san's place. His stomach churned uneasily at the thought of being seen by her again. Useless bum…

Then again. It could have just been his hunger.

"…you didn't have to waste your money on-" someone as useless as "-me."

"The only way it would be wasted was if the kid I got spent it on didn't appreciate it. Now. Eat."

It was the longest sentence filled with the most emotion Hara-san had ever spoken to him and it made something in his chest squeeze tightly even as he felt like bursting into tears of happiness.

A hand landed on his head and gently ruffled it.

"Enjoy your lunch kid."

Instead of crying, he clutched the bag to himself and willed away the tears until he was sure that he could look down without spilling them.

"Th-thank you very mu-much. I-I will."

If Hara-san noticed his quivering voice, he didn't say a word. Instead, he gestured Tsuna over to the back where a few plastic milk crate had been flipped and used as impromptu seats for any worker outside for a smoke break.

Tsuna sat down opened the bag and pulled out a salmon riceball and a carton of banana milk. There were a few more riceballs, a melon bread, and another carton inside. This one was fruit punch.

As he began to eat, Hara-san pulled out a candy bar from his pocket and proceeded to eat it.

"She won't be here for too much longer."

Tsuna froze mid bite and looked up in confusion.

"Her. Haiba-Hira-something. I forgot." Hara-san gave a flippant wave behind him. "Whatever her name is. She won't be here too much longer. Once Manager-san finds out exactly how much she's been stealing when she thinks no one is looking, he'll have her banned from working anywhere within thirty blocks of here."

"Oh." Tsuna didn't really know what else to say. "Why?"

Hara-san raised a brow at him.

"Because he'll be losing money if he didn't. A little bit here and there can be chalked up to shoplifters, but she's only been here for three days and I'm already finding issues. She doesn't do the work she's supposed to properly either and is constantly complaining about something or another."

"I mean why…why is she stealing?"

"Who knows. Some steal for the thrill. Some steal because they're desperate and they really need it. Some are just too damn lazy to try working and saving up for it and others do it because they feel entitled to stuff even if they can't afford it. That's just greed."

Tsuna quietly munched away, absorbing every word.

"And then there are those can't help it. It's a condition. They don't even notice it until they've got someone else's keys in their pocket along with a few wallets, packs of gum, and who knows what else. Maybe a singing canary snow globe too."

The last bit sounded a bit specific and Tsuna wondered if Hara-san had a personal experience with that.

"That's called kleptomania and people who have this condition are called kleptomaniacs."

As the last of the banana milk was slurped up through his straw, Tsuna realized that this was the first time that he had anyone to eat lunch with. It was a nice feeling and something warm bubbled up from the inside.

*BURP*

Squeaking in surprise, he almost toppled off his crate and flushed in embarrassment as he saw the disbelieving look Hara-san was giving him. Somehow. Honestly, Tsuna wasn't sure how Hara-san could see anything with the way his shaggy black bangs constantly covered his eyes. They even went past the bridge of his nose.

Shaking his head, the teen snorted quietly.

"Never thought anyone could be as startled at their own burp as that."

Tsuna hunched his head in like a turtle, only to stick it back out at the feeling of a skinny hand awkwardly patting the top of his head. He gave a tentative smile and got one back.

Tsuna came back again with money to pay back Hara-san and this time bought him a candy bar as well. He came back the next day after that. Again and again. Eating lunch with someone was a novel experience that had yet to lose its luster. The money he had saved up in his piggy bank was rapidly dwindling though and he feared for the day when it would finally run out. Because Nana would always make him an extra large bento, no one ever thought that he would have money and so they never demanded it from him as well. Tsuna was smart enough to be grateful for the little things and so he cherished each lunch he shared with the convenience store clerk knowing that the last day he could continue do was coming closer and closer.

For next week, Tsuna found that listening to Hara-san had taught him far more than he had ever learned in school. He didn't demand things from Tsuna and Tsuna did his best to patiently listen to whatever his elder wanted to talk about. Sometimes there would be lulls in their conversation, quiet breaks where they didn't say anything and that was fine too. It was enough that he was there.

One day, they had finished earlier than usual and Tsuna had watched in awe as Hara-san took his lunch receipt, cut it down to a square and folded it into a flower. A day lily he had called it. He had even offered to teach Tsuna how to make one as well.

Haiba-Hira-Something was gone just like Hara-san said she would be and someone new was in her place. This time it was another woman, younger than Haiba-Hira-Something though. She had blonde hair that reminded Tsuna of his useless dad and tanned skin that seemed like she had just spent the weekend at the beach. She was also popping her gum and paying more attention to her glitzy pink phone than him.

"Awwwwww~. Where'd you come from Sweetie? You're absolutely adorable."

Or so he thought. The woman was leaning over the counter to get a better look at him and Tsuna wondered if he should make a break for it when he was distracted by something. Or rather ten somethings. Her nails were a bright pink with black swirls and stickers and crystals on top.

The woman studied his deer-in-the-headlights look, then smiled and leaned over even further until she was practically laying over counter with her breasts resting on her crossed arms just against the edge. From here, Tsuna could see that she not only had pale pink eye shadow, but that there was also glitter just above her pale lashes.

"Like what you see?" She cooed with a mischievous (dangerous) smile. It wasn't the same smile his classmates gave him just before asking (demanding) him for his mother's delicious bento, but it was close enough to give Tsuna an unpleasant reminder that he should be leaving. Now.

And he was just about to when she nearly toppled forward with a shriek of fear causing him to shriek as well.

"Stop harassing him you damn pedophile."

There, like a knight in shining armor (if knights wore teal and white striped convenience store polos in place of armor, had shaggy hair to cover their head instead of a helmet, and used plastic nametags instead of crests to be identified) was Hara-san wielding a rolled up newspaper with all the wrath of Tsuna's homeroom teacher when she found out someone had stolen her cake from the teacher breakroom.

The woman flailed a bit before she finally managed to grasp the edge of the counter and pushed herself back up.

"Mou~ Yuuuukiiiii." She groaned as she rubbed the back of her head with a wince. Damn did he have a way with paper. She was almost convinced that he had actually been hiding a wooden baseball bat wrapped in newspaper if she hadn't known him as well as she did.

"I wasn't harassing him. I just wanted to know where he came from..." The last bit of his sentence sank in and she whirled with a ferocity that startled the little boy and did her aching head no favor.

"And who the hell are you calling a pedo huh?"

"You obviously. I know you like younger guys, but isn't he a bit too much? Even for someone with your questionable taste, I thought you'd have better morals than that."

The back and forth banter devolved into more degenerative insults and topics that Tsuna had no understanding of, but watching the two bicker (no matter how many words they used that he was sure he wasn't supposed to hear) made his chest ache. This wasn't a cruel and angry fight. This was a familiar joking one that didn't really have any true bite to it despite the annoyance.

So even Hara-san had a friend huh?

His heart squeezed a bit more. It'd be so nice have one for himself. A friend was something that should be cherished not fought with. So it was for that reason that he found himself interrupting them.

"Pl-please don't fight!" He shouted. "No-not over so-something like that."

He squeezed his eyes shut, trembling in worry only to squeak in surprise as he felt himself engulfed in a huge hug.

"Awww. You're just so precious~!" The woman squealed rubbing her cheek against his. Over her shoulder, a bewildered Tsuna could see Hara-san shaking his head in exasperation.

There was a new person that Tsuna enjoyed his lunch with now. Her name was Momoshima Miki and she was Hara-san's sempai from middle school. She was two years older than Hara-san and had been friends with him since they were children. Her likes were peaches, the color pink, origami stars, and cute ('young' Hara-san had muttered behind her) boys. She disliked disgusting things that she hadn't elaborated on and her blood type was B. Tsuna wasn't entirely sure what that meant or why it mattered, but he remembered the doctor saying that he had type A once and so he told her in reply.

"Just like Yuki!" she had exclaimed to the little boy sitting on her lap. For some reason, Miki-san liked to hold him and hug him all the time, but if Hara-san didn't mind, then Tsuna supposed that it was alright. Besides, it felt sort of nice to be wanted. And Hara-san tended to rescue him when she got overeager anyways.

"Ne ne. Tsunayoshi is sort of a mouthful and Sawada just doesn't do you justice. Can I call you Tsu-chan instead?"

"Uhh…umm…"

"Stop bullying him."

Momoshima-san gasped in (mock) outrage and pressed Tsuna's face into her breast as she cuddled him closer. The smell of her new perfume invaded his nostrils and he struggled not to sneeze.

"I'm not bullying him! I'm just asking can I call him something easier. You don't mind do you Tsu-chan?" she asked to the fluff of hair on her chest. Tsuna flailed around in a bid to unblock his airways.

"Mmmm mmhhmm mrmmm!" It wasn't very effective.

"He can't breathe you idiot!"

Momoshima-san was also a kleptomaniac.

He found that out when he saw her slip a pack of pens off the shelf and into her pockets. Then a bag of beef jerky, a box of strawberry pocky, a pair of cheap ear buds, five packs of gum and seventeen keychains all without breaking stride.

In fact, Tsuna had only noticed because of his height and the fact that he was planning to buy the pocky when it had disappeared right before his eyes and for a moment, he stood there blinking as if to reaffirm what he just saw.

Hara-san was apparently the opposite of a kleptomaniac. He squeezed past them both in the narrow isle to restock some more drinks in the refrigerated section and somehow everywhere he passed, the items magically appeared back in their proper places.

Apparently, Momoshima-san had been doing it for as long as she could remember and Hara-san tended to deal with it by pickpocketing her and returning the items before she got in trouble. It was even how they had become friends in the first place.

"I can't help it! I don't even remember taking all of that!" She wailed in distress and worry as if Tsuna was going to judge her.

"I know. But that's sort of why we became friends remember?"

At Tsuna's questioning look, he explained.

"She's a klepto and I'm a reverse-klepto. She takes things without anyone noticing and I put them back without anyone noticing. That's how it's always been." Then he gave a considering glance at the brunet.

"Want to learn?"

"Learn? Learn what?"

"How to take things and put them back without anyone catching you. If you've managed to spot her at all, then that means that you've got pretty good eyes. I'm usually pretty good at catching her, but it wouldn't hurt to have an extra set of eyes."

It was the first time anyone had sincerely complemented him for anything and desperate to continue earn such acknowledgement, Tsuna agreed. Besides, he could never refuse a request.

So began his first lessons on pickpocketing and reverse-pickpocketing.

"When you begin, just remember. There is only one rule and a million little tips and tricks to make it easier to keep to that rule. Hand, finger, and wrist movement, body positioning, facial expressions, height differences, types of holding places on a person and more. If you can find someone trustworthy enough, you can even get a partner to help you out. It may seem like a lot and most of it will probably sound the same now, but once you get used to this, it'll start coming together for you."

"Ummm. What's the main rule though?"

Momoshima-san passed by and without missing a beat, a banana, an octopus themed mini notepad, and a purple lighter ended up passing from her to Hara-san's hands to their original places in seconds. No one even broke stride and Tsuna did his best to keep up as he trailed behind Hara-san, holding up the box of gummy candy packets for the teen to place on the shelves.

"Don't get caught."

"Momoshima-san is too formal. Call me onee-chan instead okay Tsu-chan?"

"O-nee-chan?" Tsuna asked tilting his head a little with wide eyes. Someone actually wanted him to call them onee-chan? No one had ever really wanted to be associated with Tsuna before.

"Aaaaahhhh! I can't take it anymore! You're just so cuuuutee~."

After prying Tsuna from her hug (stranglehold), Hara-san had said in his usual bored tone.

"Just call her Miki. Onee-chan is too dangerous for you to say. While you're at it, you can just call me Yuki. No need for Hara-san. I think you can consider us your friends now."

"I-I can?" There was that same disbelieving expression on Tsuna's face again. As if he couldn't believe what he was being told and was holding his breath in the fear that it was all a cruel joke. In that brief moment something familiar resonated in both of the older clerks.

Miki's eyes softened. "Of course you can sweetheart. Yuki doesn't say things that he doesn't mean."

This time when Miki tightly squeezed the boy, Yuki only laid his hand on Tsuna's hair to ruffle it and Tsuna didn't even bother to try to breathe. Not letting his tears stain Miki's shirt was his greatest priority.

When Tsuna managed to get himself under control, he decided to compromise with the name Miki-nee for the older woman. This time Hara-sa-Yuki, it was Yuki now, managed to pluck him from her grasp before she could crush him under her python like hug.

This entire part will be about Tsuna's early friendships with OCs and how he is now set firmly on the road of juvenile delinquency without actually being a traditional true delinquent…kinda…

Fair warning, don't get too attached to anyone who isn't a canon character.

Despite Nana's words here, this is not meant to be a bashing fic. Rather, she still loves her son very much, but can be careless with her words and doesn't realize exactly how much it hurts him or how deeply he takes it to heart. In this fic, she will struggle a bit with trying to raise Tsuna by herself and they will have to go through several rough patches before they can really have a very much needed heart-to-heart as her obliviousness to certain things make it more than difficult for Tsuna to really tell her how he feels and what he goes through. She will be suitably horrified and guilty when the time comes.